by Anne Douglas
‘Just a heartbreaker, eh?’
‘I wouldn’t say that.’
‘Going off to America, though.’ Tilly pursed her lips. ‘Some of the lassies who married Yanks in the war were awful disappointed, you ken, when they got to the States.’
‘I’m sure some were very happy, too.’
‘It’s always better to stick to someone of your own kind. Somebody who knows what you know.’
Ewen, of course, Lorna said to herself, circling a job in a flower shop and another in a bakery, and smiled as Tilly told her Ewen had asked after her and might come round tomorrow.
‘You could maybe ask him if there’s anything going at the post office, Lorna?’
‘Thanks, but I am not going back to the post office, Ma.’
‘Well, what are you going to do? There are precious few band jobs for girls round here, as you know.’ Tilly rose and set out cups for their last cup of tea before bed. ‘I suppose you might ask Jackie Craik if he’s got anything, but like your dad used to say, he never wanted women in his band.’
‘I’d never ask Jackie Craik for a job,’ Lorna said firmly. ‘I know his views too well. No, what I’m planning to do is to get some temporary job and then do what I really want to do.’
‘Which is what?’ Tilly asked, swinging round with the teapot in her hand.
Lorna, folding the newspaper, finally looked up and met her mother’s eyes. ‘Run my own band.’
‘Oh, my Lord!’ Tilly set down the teapot with a thump. ‘Oh, Lorna, whatever next? Your own band? That’s crazy talk. I – I’m speechless.’
‘It isn’t crazy talk, Ma. Flo and me, we’ve discussed it and we think we could do it. There are women’s bands in America and England and they’re popular. We reckon we could make a band popular here. We’re going to give it a go, anyway. Just got to work out the details and get the finance.’
Turning back to her tea making, Tilly appeared quite taken aback, as though Lorna had surpassed herself this time in surprising her.
‘Your Auntie Cissie always said you’d be a law unto yourself,’ she said over her shoulder. ‘And she’s absolutely right, eh? I just don’t know what to say to you, Lorna.’
‘Needn’t say anything, Ma. Leave everything to me.’
‘Including this finance you talk about?’ Tilly sniffed. ‘We used to call it money. So, how are you going to get it?’
‘Well, we wouldn’t need all that much,’ Lorna said eagerly. ‘Just enough to hire a room and pay for advertising and wages, until we begin to get engagements. I thought I’d ask a bank about a loan.’
‘A bank! Lorna, banks don’t lend you money unless you can pay it back. You’d have to have some capital.’
‘I could see what they said. After all, other people must have had the same problem starting off.’
‘I suppose your friend Flo can’t help?’
‘No, we’re both in the same boat.’
‘And she’s going to be the bandleader, is she?’ Tilly looked dubious. ‘A very nice lassie, but are you sure she’s got what it takes to lead a band?’
‘Of course! She’s older than me and she’s knows more.’
‘But you’ve got the personality and the looks, Lorna, though I say it myself.’
‘Looks don’t come into it, Ma.’
‘No?’ Tilly smiled. ‘Looks come into everything, I’d say. Now, have your tea and get to bed, you look exhausted. Tomorrow, you could discuss things with Ewen. He’ll be dying to help. No’ that he’s got any money, of course.’
The following evening, Lorna and Ewen went to the cinema, where they saw a re-run of the film Great Expectations with John Mills.
‘That’s what you’ve got, eh?’ Ewen asked fondly, when they came out blinking into the light of the May evening. ‘Great expectations of being a lady bandleader. I’ll bet you succeed, too.’
‘Don’t see why I shouldn’t. Once I get started.’
‘Need cash, though. Wish I had some, I could be your backer.’ He grinned, as they began to walk home along Princes Street. ‘To be honest, I have got fifty quid in the post office. Would that help?’
‘Oh, Ewen!’ Lorna hugged his arm. ‘As though I could take your money! But it’s nice of you to offer.’
‘Och, you’d need a lot more, anyway.’ He looked down at her worriedly. ‘Do you really think the bank will lend you something?’
‘Ma doesn’t think so, but I’ll have to ask. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.’
They paused to sit down on a bench near St John’s, a fine West End church, watching the cars go by and the pedestrians enjoying the still warm evening.
‘About that fellow you knew,’ Ewen began, but Lorna immediately became rigid, her face a mask and he faltered. ‘I suppose you don’t want to talk about him, eh?’
‘No, I don’t.’
‘You said once there was no one special, but I always knew there was. Then your mother dropped a hint or two. Said you might be bringing someone over.’
‘And now you realize that won’t be happening?’
‘I don’t want to make things worse for you, Lorna, but if he’s hurt you, just tell me where he is and I’ll go over and give him what for.’
‘He’s about to sail for America,’ she replied, surprised she could smile at Ewen’s vehemence. ‘You’d be too late. Anyway, the truth is, we’ve hurt each other. He wanted one sort of life, I wanted another, so we had to agree to part.’
‘What sort of life do you want, then?’ he asked quietly. ‘One that doesn’t include marriage?’
‘One that might include marriage, as long as it had my band as well.’
Ewen’s brow cleared. ‘That’s good, Lorna. That’s OK. Because anybody who cared for you would want you to have both, eh?’
For some time she watched the passing show of evening Edinburgh without speaking.
‘Yes, that’s true,’ she said at last. ‘Anybody who cared for me would want that. Shall we make a move, then?’
‘Just let me say first, if you ever need any help, if there’s ever anything I can do . . . I want to tell you I’ll be there.’ Ewen looked steadily into her eyes. ‘I mean it, Lorna.’
‘I know you do, Ewen.’
Linking arms again, they continued their walk back to Tilly’s flat, where Ewen came in for a little while before saying goodnight at the door and they exchanged brief kisses.
‘You’ll let me know how you get on at the bank?’ he pressed, and she promised she would, as soon as she’d had the interview for which she’d have to brace herself.
‘Such a nice laddie,’ Tilly remarked, when Lorna returned.
‘It’s no use, Ma. No point in hoping.’
‘You mean, about you and Ewen? No, I stopped long ago. But he is a nice fellow.’
‘He is. And you’re right, he would he helpful, if he could.’
Tilly was mending a stocking, screwing up her eyes over the ladder as her needle went in and out. ‘Maybe I can help, Lorna.’
‘Ma, don’t worry. Any money you’ve got you need. I don’t want to be a drain on you.’
‘Have you forgotten?’ Tilly clipped off her thread.
‘Forgotten what?’
‘The insurance money.’
Lorna sat up in her chair, the colour heightening in her cheeks, her eyes very bright. ‘The insurance money,’ she whispered. ‘Yes, I had forgotten. But that was supposed to be for my wedding.’
‘Aye, well, what wedding? Seems to me it’d be more useful to you now. If you’re really serious about this band business.’
‘Oh, I am! I am!’
‘Came to me in the night,’ Tilly went on. ‘I woke up in the small hours, couldn’t get back to sleep, and I thought about your dad and what he would’ve wanted for you. I reckon it’d have been the band, if it was to be just for girls, no’ a wedding. I mean, my folks had no money when your dad and me got wed, so we did it all ourselves on a shoestring.’ Tilly smiled at the memories. ‘And look how happy we were, e
h?’
‘Oh, Ma, you’re my saviour, you always are!’ Lorna ran to Tilly and flung her arms around her neck. ‘But are you sure, though? Are you really sure you want me to have it – the insurance money?’
‘Aye, I’m sure. It’s in the building society at the minute – that’s where your dad said we should put it. I’m no’ certain how much there is – should be some interest – but there’ll be enough to start you off, eh?’
‘Look, I’ll pay you back. Soon as I get some money coming in, I’ll put it all back in the building society.’
‘What a piece of nonsense! When it was for you, anyway.’ Tilly smiled affectionately. ‘But if you ever do get wed, you can maybe pay the bills then.’
‘You bet I will!’ Lorna was dabbing at her eyes. ‘Though I can’t see it happening for a long, long time.’
‘Best get your band started first, eh? We’ll go to the building society tomorrow and find out just how much there is, and then you can tell Flo.’
‘I’d tell her now if she had a phone. Maybe I’ll write a letter. Have you got any ink? Any writing paper?’
Lorna was almost dancing round the living room. ‘Oh, Ma, I can never thank you enough. And Flo will feel the same. She’ll be over the moon.’
‘Here’s the ink, here’s the paper.’ Tilly was rooting in her purse. ‘Got a stamp?’
Only a few minutes later, the letter was written and Lorna was flying out to the post box. She pictured Flo’s delighted surprise at the news she was sending, and of all they could now do to turn their plans into reality. She was so grateful to her mother, so glad of the money, and for the first time since saying goodbye to Rod, felt the pain of loss might one day ease.
Twenty-Six
At first, it seemed as though everything was going to be so easy. The insurance money – four hundred pounds – turned out to be more than expected and would certainly be enough to pay rent for premises until money could be made; wages, too, though they would have to be low at first.
‘There was far too much for just a wedding,’ Lorna pointed out. ‘I mean, what were you planning? Something in St Giles’s Cathedral?’
Tilly shook her head. ‘I suppose we always thought there’d be some over for you to start married life with. So, now you can have it to start something else.’ She sighed a little. ‘Just hope it’s successful.’
‘It will be, Ma, it will be. Flo and me – we know we can do it. Isn’t that right?’ Lorna appealed to Flo, who had come rushing over from Glasgow specially to thank Tilly.
‘Oh, that’s right, Mrs Fernie,’ Flo said earnestly. ‘All we needed was some help and you’ve given it to us. We couldn’t be more grateful.’
‘The money was never meant for me, so no need to thank me. I know you’ll both make the best use of it you can.’
She could be sure of that they told her.
Euphoric days, then, to begin with, when the two young women felt they were walking on air and that everything was going their way. Until they met the problems.
First, it took some time to release the money, and even when it was in Lorna’s new bank account, it looked as if it wouldn’t be used, for she couldn’t find anywhere to rent for their studio. All they needed was somewhere to rehearse and do the paper work, but finding properties to rent in post-war Edinburgh was, it seemed, almost impossible. Everyone was looking for houses, flats, rooms – anything – but those few that were available were too expensive for most people.
‘I give up!’ Lorna cried, after some weeks of searching had gone by without success. ‘I don’t think we’re ever going to find anything.’
‘Looks that way,’ Flo agreed gloomily, who came over from Glasgow when she could to help in the search. ‘It’s lucky I have my typing job.’
‘Oh, don’t say that!’ Lorna cried. ‘To think of you typing, and me in the bakery, instead of running our band! It’s heartbreaking. I mean, we can’t even advertise for any players until we get premises, and we haven’t even got Ina now.’
Flo sighed. ‘She said she felt pretty sad about letting us down, but I always had the feeling she wouldn’t want to leave Dickie.’
‘Can’t blame her for that,’ Lorna said quietly. ‘If she’s found the right one, good luck to her.’
Flo put a sympathetic hand on Lorna’s arm.
The breakthrough came in the end from Ewen, who arrived at Tilly’s flat one June evening with great news.
‘Got the very place, Lorna! Come on, I’ll take you to see it. I’ve got the keys.’
‘Where is it?’ she cried, leaping up. ‘Ewen, tell me!’
‘Aye, tell her,’ Tilly ordered. ‘She’s been like a wet weekend lately, with no’ finding anywhere.’
‘Well, don’t expect too much, but a pal of mine told me there are some disused premises off the Leith Walk, back of one of the cinemas. Used to be a boys’ club, but it’s no’ been used for years and hasn’t got planning permission for housing, so nobody’s bought it and it’s still for rent.’
‘Would it do for rehearsals?’
‘Be ideal. Nobody around to hear you.’ Ewen hesitated. ‘Need a ton of paint, though, to smarten it up, and I don’t know what else.’
‘I can do painting. But what’s the rent?’
‘No’ bad. But there might be others in for it, so better come round now and have a look at it.’
‘I’m on my way.’ Lorna was already scrambling into her jacket. ‘Ma, do you want to come too? It’s a lovely light evening.’
‘No, pet, you decide if it’s what you want.’
It was exactly what she wanted. The electricity was not connected, of course, and the grime-encrusted windows made it difficult to see the place clearly, but potential screamed out to Lorna as soon as Ewen opened the door. There was a large main room that would do for rehearsals, plus a smaller room that would serve as an office. There was a tiny kitchenette with a sink and a gas ring, a terrible lavatory, a stack of old chairs, a table tennis table on its side, and waste paper rolling in the corners.
‘Plenty to do,’ Ewen observed.
‘It’s perfect. Oh, Ewen, you’re another saviour, eh? Give me the agent’s details. I’ll go round first thing in the morning.’ Lorna stood very still, her hands clasped together. ‘Oh, but what’ll I do if I don’t get it?’
‘I have a feeling you will. Everybody’s luck turns some time. It’s your turn.’
Impulsively, she kissed him and he flushed, but made no attempt to embrace her.
‘Here, take the keys. You can return ’em tomorrow.’
‘I’m so grateful, Ewen.’
‘Aye, well, wait until it’s all sealed, signed and delivered.’
‘Then we can have a celebration.’
‘Then we can start buying paint.’
In the event, they did both, for Lorna, sending up prayers of thanksgiving, got the lease of the premises, and a celebratory meal was fixed up at a restaurant they couldn’t normally afford. Flo came over from Glasgow and Cissie from Musselburgh to join Tilly, Ewen and Lorna, and if the food was only the usual post-war fare, everyone was so cheerful it tasted far better.
‘Didn’t I always tell you, Lorna would do something like this?’ Cissie cried, her face flushed with excitement for her niece. ‘A law unto herself, eh? Well, I think it’s wonderful. When do you want me to come over with my paintbrush, then?’
‘Be careful, Aunt Cissie,’ Lorna cried happily. ‘We might just take you up on that!’
Later, when the party was over and she was preparing for bed, she reflected on how rapidly things could change for people. One day down, the next up, then down again, up again. If only she and Flo could now stay up, not floating above the clouds, but doing well, achieving what they wanted. At least, now they had their studio, there was hope of that. Next job would be to advertise for players. Oh, and find a name for themselves. So far, they’d thought of nothing suitable.
It was only as sleep began to claim her that another little worry crept into her
mind, but it wasn’t enough to keep her awake and in the morning, she had work to do.
Twenty-Seven
‘Talk about transformation scene!’ Flo cried, when at last their restoration work was done and the new studio had risen from the ruin of the old club. ‘Who’d have thought such a wreck of a place could look like this?’
The little team of Lorna, Ewen and Flo stood looking round at their handiwork with deep satisfaction, though, of course, it hadn’t all been theirs. They’d had to employ a builder and a roof firm to make the club really habitable, and professional cleaners to make inroads on the years of accumulated dirt, before they could begin on the decoration themselves. Then, however, the place had really begun to shine, and with its gleaming walls and windows, its polished floor and brightened chairs, it represented all that Lorna and Flo could have wanted.
‘If you ask me, the owners should be jolly grateful to us for doing all this,’ Flo remarked, dropping into one of the chairs. ‘If they want to try to sell it again, they’ll have better luck, eh?’
‘Who’s going to let them try to sell it?’ Lorna asked sharply. ‘We’ve got our lease and we’re going to stay.’
‘Sure, I was just talking.’ Flo glanced at her watch. ‘Say, are you folks hungry? How about getting some fish and chips?’
‘Terrific,’ Ewen answered. ‘I’m starving. Have to do one last wash of the brushes, though.’ He grinned. ‘Then tomorrow you two can start thinking about finding some girls for your band, eh?’
‘I’ll just have to have my piano brought over,’ Lorna said, sitting next to Flo. ‘And find a second-hand desk for the office.’ She yawned and coughed a little. ‘I don’t think I’ll have any fish and chips, though – the smell of the paint is getting to me.’
‘I know, it hangs, doesn’t it?’ Flo leaped up and joined Ewen in the washroom to clean her brushes. ‘It’s really nice of your ma to put me up tonight, Lorna. I’m so glad I haven’t to go back to Glasgow till tomorrow.’