Immortal Suffering

by Shana J Caldwell

  “You missed dinner as well.” he says, looking away from me.

  “Give it to the elderly or the children, from what I observed they need it more than I do.” He sighs at my words.

  “I don’t know what to do. The dosages have increased but we’re running low on food, casualties are becoming high.” I feel sick to my stomach knowing he’d so easily sacrifice innocent lives.

  “You know exactly how I feel about that, Xavier. You shouldn’t be playing God.” we sit in silence.

  “You know, we’re not so different. You and I,” I say finally. I stand up and wrap my arms around myself. I wasn’t here for a war, I was here for peace. I step out of the fire pit; I glance at him once more.

  “We’re completely different,” he says, but in his eyes I see the truth. I glimpse the same man that I had once known.

  “We both want peace, I don’t think that makes us very different at all. Goodnight, Xavier.” I turn and head towards my tent, wanting to be alone and to hide in the confines of the darkness. I get into my tent and crawl into bed, pulling the sheets tight around me; my body shivers. I miss the softness of my mattress at the castle, I miss the darkness. I miss seeing Kal every morning for breakfast and training by his side.

  I close my eyes and let the heaviness leave my body. I focus on Kal. I hadn’t tried to get in contact with him through a dream for a while, so I could only hope it works. Xavier wasn’t the only one with a few tricks up his sleeve.

  Once the world around me clears I’m standing in the sitting room at the castle, everything looks exactly how I left it. Only a small candle lights the room, casting a dull glow around me. I turn slowly, a small ache forms in my chest. Home. The door clicks open and Kal steps into the room; his shirtless form takes me by surprise. I feel a blush rise to my cheeks. God damn him. His sleek black hair flows around him with such grace it was hard to not see him being supernatural. He closes the door and finally looks up, his eyes widen when he sees me. I smirk.

  “Miss me?” I tease, crossing my arms over my chest. I hadn’t seen him since the day I’d left, the day I’d agreed to this. This is the first time I’d been able to connect to him in my dreams, and Gods be damned if I hadn’t tried.

  “Ali?” His voice is a whisper, as if he’s seeing a ghost. I roll my eyes.

  “At your service, your majesty.” I bow low mockingly, suddenly I’m being crushed in his arms, they wrap around my waist and pull me close. He takes a deep breath as his head nestles into the base of my neck.

  “It’s really you,” he says, lips skimming my shoulder. I shiver in anticipation, hands tightening on his back.

  “Of course it is, you buffoon.” I pull him closer and savour the coolness of him, I breathe him in. Savouring his scent, even in dreams he was powerful.

  “How?” he asks, pulling away to look down at me. His eyes are pitch black, as dark as the night sky. They search my face.

  “I’m asleep currently; you were the last thought before I fell asleep. If you were thinking of me as well I can connect to you. Clearly I’ve been the last thought to come into your head.” I growl the last part.

  “Jealous, are we?” he smirks, I narrow my eyes at him.

  “I’m gone for a few days and you’ve already forgotten about me?” I mock, raising an eyebrow.

  “When you look this good, it’s hard to forget.” He leans in and presses his lips to my forehead, I sigh. The kiss lingers as he pulls away, he twirls a strand of hair between his fingers.

  “Which should be all the time mister.” I say, smiling at him. He doesn’t smile back, a shadow falls across his face.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask, trying to read his face. As fast as it is there it disappears, I hold back my growl of frustration.

  “Nothing your pretty little head needs to worry about. Now how is it there? What’s been happening? Are you okay?” He asks as he leads me to the couch, he pulls me on to his lap. I rest my head against his shoulder and run my hand absently up and down his muscled chest.

  “You know I hate it when you keep secrets from me.” I say softly.

  “I know, and I am sorry. It’s just not something you need to worry about and I promise to tell you all about it once you return.”

  “Fine, but you better keep your promise or a finger is coming off.” I growl the half-hearted threat at him, his chest rumbles slightly with laughter. We both knew I’d never be quick enough to get a finger off of him.

  “So, how are you?” he asks; his hand runs up and down my leg, drawing patterns as he goes.

  “I miss this, I miss my bed. I miss you.” I whisper.

  “I miss you too.”

  “Not much has happened, they’ve been recruiting more people and injecting them but the dosages are larger than normal. I think they’re desperate. The food is starting to get a bit thinner so portions have been cut back. I try and give mine to the people that need them.” the kids and the elderly are the ones that usually don’t survive the dosages, I try and give them my food and hope it helps them become strong enough.

  “Kal this world is ruined, I don’t know if it can ever recover,” I whisper. This was a thought I could never admit to myself. I didn’t even know what recovering would look like. All I’d known was a broken world.

  “Shhh, don’t think like that. There’s still hope, you know this more than anymore. You can’t give up on me just yet.” I look up at him and bite my lower lip.

  “I’m not giving up, I just... I’m lost Kal. How do I get them to understand?” I ask, needing some sort of direction.

  “You give them hope, how you’ve given it to me. It’s not easy and it never will be, but you’re strong and you’ve always been a leader. You know in your heart what you must do, believe in yourself like I believe in you Ali.” his words wrap a warm blanket around my heart, I’m unsure of how I managed to wedge myself into his and show him the possibilities of a better world. I don’t think he knows how either.

  “Together?” I whisper, focusing on his eyes. Darkens begins to creep into the corners of my vision, my heart beats in a panic. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye, not yet.

  “Together. Always.” I tilt my head back and reach up to his lips; I savour the velvet feel of them as they move against mine. I close my eyes, welcoming the darkness. His lips are the last thing I feel.

  I wake groggily, my brain thundering against my skull. I groan as sunlight streams into my tent, the camp is alive with noise as everyone continues on with their day. I push the sinking feeling of longing to be home deep inside of me; I could not show a single one of them that part of me.

  I slink out of bed, wishing I had warmer clothes. Although the sun was up there was no warmth for us here, it was a mockery. I pull on my boots and head out of my tent, people pass me barely noticing me. Their green tinged skin doesn’t go unnoticed. I knew the serum had to do with grobbler blood, but surely they weren’t just injecting grobbler blood into people.

  I wander around the tents, I am a ghost here. The people who remember me steer clear to avoid me, the ones who didn’t know me don’t bother trying to. I leave the ground tents and walk into the trees. Up high, people walk on makeshift rope and wood paths. Kids run around on the forest floor, running faster than any normal human child should be able to run.

  I shiver as I continue; I didn’t take the dosage like the others. I refused, I didn’t care what Xavier said. I would not go through that, not again. I think he understood.

  Xavier didn’t trust me. I doubt he would ever again, but we’d both saved each other what feels like a lifetime ago. We owed each other this much.

  Chapter 21

  Kalabhiti

  “Still nothing?” I ask as I enter the dining room for breakfast. Everyone apart from the twins is present. We’d spent the last few days searching every inch of the forest, still coming up empty handed.

  “Nothing, it’s like they’ve just vanished. The marks that led to Dominic’s feeding chute seemed to disappear into thin air.” Ca
ssidy huffs. Zeke runs a hand through his hair.

  “I couldn’t find anything either, it’s like they’re only around when Ali is.” Zuriel says, leaning back in his chair. Nardia raises an eyebrow at him in question. I do the same.

  “What are you saying?” I ask.

  “He’s saying that without a human nearby they’re going to be dormant. They’re drawn to her blood, which would be why they came as close as they did to the castle,” Zeke explains for him.

  “Why would they attack Dominic then?” Cassidy asks. She reaches forward and pours herself a glass of animal blood. I take a seat at the head of the table and pour myself one as well.

  “Because she’d been in there with him, grooming him and most likely giving him a cuddle. She’s a sucker for animals,” Zeke says with amusement. She definitely would be the type of girl to cuddle a large bat creature.

  “Yeah but she didn’t bleed on him.” Cassidy rolls her eyes, Nardia frowns at her. Zuriel takes a sip from his green bottle, which is full of tainted human blood. Zeke and Cassidy had managed to capture one of the members from the Order.

  “Her scent would have been on him.” Nardia clarifies it for her, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “God why does everything have to be about her?” Cassidy whines, puffing out her bottom lip.

  “You’re just jealous it isn’t about you anymore.” Zuriel grins at her, she flips him the finger.

  “Well, what are we going to do today then?” Zeke asks, looking to me. I sigh and run through my options.

  “We could use some of her clothing and leave it as bait? If they’re after her scent I’m sure her clothes would be good enough. What if they’re just drawn to humans in general?” If that is the case, if these creatures multiplied and escaped I feared what that would mean for the humans. I don’t know where my care for other humans was coming from but I knew I’d been around Allison for too long.

  “Yeah that could work; we should set up two spots for traps. One with her clothes and the other with some blood from the human mutant.” Cassidy chimes, finishing off her cup.

  “You know Cassidy, that’s actually not a bad idea,” Zuriel remarks, clearly impressed.

  “I’m not just my good looks you know,” she growls. Zuriel bursts into laughter, Nardia tries to hide her grin.

  “Girl, you aren’t even that.” He roars with laughter, nearly spilling his bottle. I chuckle along as Nardia joins in with Zuriel. Zeke fights a smile as he watches her.

  “Oh fuck you all, I don’t know why I bother with you blood suckers. I’m going to get blood from the human. Zeke, are you coming?” She stands from the table, Zeke nods and gets up as well.

  “We’ll gather some clothes. Leave the blood at the forest edge near where the tracks disappeared. We’ll leave her clothes near the back garden in the first tree line,” I say, rising from the chair.

  Zeke and Cassidy leave without another word; we’d kept the human contained in a small section in our business building. I couldn’t risk having them here, not when Ali could be back without me knowing.

  “Nardia, can you please grab a few items from her drawers please? Ones that smell like her.” Nardia nods and leaves without a word. Zuriel stands up and skulls the last of his drink. He grimaces as he puts the empty cup back down.

  “That bad?” I question, scrunching my nose up. He looks at me and runs a hand through the light blonde of his hair, letting it fall over the right side of his face.

  “It’s even worse than you can imagine. Drinkable but it definitely has a funny aftertaste.” The human had been a pale green, a young man with full health. We still fed him and gave him a place to sleep, we’re not total monsters. He’s just a donation bank at the moment.

  “One more day and it’ll be over. Then we’ll find out if this new form of human is sustainable for us,” I say, heading out towards the front of the castle. Zuriel keeps in step beside me.

  “What if it isn’t? What if it’s poisonous to us?” he says softly. I hadn’t debated that, or given it much thought. I’d spent most of my morning thinking about Ali and our late night dream encounter.

  “We still have animals. It’s not ideal, but it does work.”

  “I’d rather drink animal blood for the rest of my life over gross mutant human blood.” he fake gags at the mention and I roll my eyes playfully at him. Nardia is waiting for us at the front door, a large white shirt over her arm.

  “Is that mine?” I ask, raising an eyebrow in question. She grins at me.

  “Looks like someone prefers sleeping in your shirt.” Zuriel elbows me lightly; I take the shirt from Nardia and put it over my arm. The scent of vanilla and honey and Ali hit me immediately. I faintly pick up my musk; she mustn’t have washed this shirt since she’d been here. A swell of emotion forms in my chest, one I’m not familiar with.

  We walk around the castle, to the back garden. Owls hoot in the distance, as well as the occasional deer breaking shrubs. There’s no hint of noise from any other creature. We stop at the tree line, opposite the opening of the garden. I place the shirt on the lowest branch and step back; I hope she won’t be mad at me for using her shirt. Well, my shirt.

  “Now we wait,” I announce. We head back to the garden and take up positions looking out into the night. Silently waiting, like the predators we are.

  Chapter 22

  Allison

  I’ve been here for four days and in that time I’ve been able to establish two things; one, the camp can’t keep up with the demand of the people they have here and two, they’re sacrificing the elderly and young kids that aren’t surviving their dosages.

  I run at a human pace to Yolanda’s tree home, hoping to catch her. It was already lunch time, my body was having a hard time adjusting to the sun and having something similar to a clock to go by for sleep.

  I climb up the ladder and stop once I reach the top.

  “Yolanda?” I call. The flap moves and she pops her head out.

  “Oh it’s you! Come in, come in.” she pulls the flap back for me as I walk in; the little boy is gone today. My heart picks up in my chest. Maybe he was just playing with the other kids.

  “Have you thought about what I offered you? I also have new information you’ll want to know.” I say quickly, needing to get the words out. She sits down on her bed.

  “Tell me your information first and then I’ll decide.”

  “Okay so the camp is running out of food, they can’t keep up to the demand. Everyone is growing weaker, it may not seem like it but the portion sizes have been cut back. It won’t be long until they run out of food all together.” I begin to pace the small area, needing to move.

  “The second thing is, when they inject the elderly and the kids, a majority of them aren’t surviving. I don’t know what they’re telling everyone when a kid or grandma goes missing but they’re killing them.”

  She looks at me with wide eyes.

  “My boy,” she whispers. In the blink of an eye she rushes past me and hurls herself down the ladder.

  “What?”

  “He’s getting his shot now.”

  Chapter 23

  Allison

  I follow quickly, keeping pace up with her as we run into the main camp, she leads us through to a large tent that’s hidden behind the others. She bursts in. It was the same one I’d been in when I’d first met Kal, it seemed like a lifetime ago since I’d been caught in his shadows.

  “NO!” She screams as I rush in after her. Everyone in the room freezes and looks at us. On a wooden bench her little boy is laying, his breathing is laboured and he’s sweating. Xavier is holding his hand as he looks down at him.

  She runs forward and throws herself over the boy, whispering in his ear as she cries. Xavier steps back and looks over at me; my blood boils to breaking point

  In a flash I’m inches from his face.

  “You’re a fucking monster. Another innocent child is dying because of you,” I growl. I feel my fangs breaking through
the skin of my gums. I wouldn’t be able to hide them once they’d come down the entire way.

  “He was the last one… the others did so well we thought he’d be fine,” he says weakly. The man that injected the boy had left; the others that were in here had left with him, leaving us and two guards inside the door. I notice their guns rise silently towards me.

  “No no no no no,” Yolanda whimpers. I snap my head towards her. The small boy takes one last shaky breath. He doesn’t take another one. Before I can do anything, Yolanda lunges at Xavier and shoves him backwards.

  “He was all I had and you’ve taken him from me!” she shoves him again and begins to beat at his chest. He tries to grab onto her hands but she’s a machine of anger and hate. The guards point their guns at her. I turn and snarl at them, knowing my fangs are out.

  “Don’t you dare point that gun at her.” I use my fangs to my advantage; they train the guns back on me. I was the real threat.

  “I’m so sorry I didn’t know; I was just trying to help.” Xavier says softly, trying to calm her down. I take a step towards them.

  “Yolanda…” I whisper, she turns to me; tears streaming down her face. My hearts break for her, I didn’t understand her loss but I could never imagine going through it.

  “He’s… g-gone.” she chokes on her words as she runs to me, wrapping her arms around my waist. I hug her back, running my hand over her curly hair. She sobs into my chest, squeezing me tight. This was wrong. So, so wrong. I look back to Xavier, his eyes train on my fangs.

  “This has got to stop Xavier. You can’t keep doing this,” I say. He shakes his head and looks to his guards, motioning for them to put their guns down.

  “It can’t Allison. We have no hope if we stop.”

  “Give me a viral of the serum, I’ll take it back with me and I’ll find a proper scientist who can make a correct concoction that isn’t going to kill everyone.” I say.