by Harley Wylde
I tried to hurry, knowing both Patriot and Galahad were downstairs. I didn’t know if my cousin had come to see me or Patriot, but I didn’t want to miss his visit either way. After I dried off, I pulled on a soft red sweater. I paired it with green leggings that had a Santa print all over them, and my candy cane-striped fuzzy socks. I left my hair up, and briefly lamented my lack of makeup. I hadn’t wanted any since Patriot had rescued me, but after seeing the way the club whores dressed and looked, I wouldn’t have minded a little blush or lip gloss.
Then again, Patriot seemed to like me the way I was so maybe I didn’t need any.
Archimedes must have followed me. He sprawled across the top of the stairs, watching the bathroom door as if he’d been waiting for me. I knew animals were sensitive and wondered if he’d felt the tension outside. I stopped a moment to scratch behind his ear. “Such a good boy.”
He panted and stood. Hurrying down the stairs, I heard Patriot bellow from the kitchen. “Slow the fuck down, Little Bit, before you fall and bust your ass.”
My cheeks flushed as I remembered the first time I’d raced down the stairs. My feet had gone out from under me and I’d slid the rest of the way down on my butt. I’d been bruised and sore for a few days, but mostly my pride had been hurt.
When I entered the kitchen, Patriot had three steaming cups on the table, and Galahad had already taken a seat. I picked up the bag of marshmallows on the counter and added extra to my cup before taking a seat. Patriot pulled out the chair between Sean and me, then sprawled in a way that I’d always found to be both casual and sexy. I didn’t think he intended to make me drool a little.
“You know you need to officially claim her,” Galahad said. “We may all know she’s yours, but if you want her to have a property cut it has to go to the table.”
Patriot flipped him off. “I’ve been in this club a lot longer than you, runt. I think I know how shit works. I was trying to give your cousin more time. If that fucking whore hadn’t disrespected her, I wouldn’t have said anything yet.”
“I don’t need time,” I said, surprising both them and myself. “I mean, I don’t know if I’m ready for… everything, but I liked being called yours. If there’s anyone I trust, it’s you, Patriot.”
Two years ago, even one year ago, I’d have said I never wanted a man to touch me, much less kiss me or do anything else. But with Patriot, I wanted to be whole again. I wanted to be the kind of woman who greeted him with a kiss when he came home, the type who didn’t only sleep in his arms all night but was ready for anything. I didn’t know how I’d react if he tried to strip me naked and touch me. I could freak out, but I wouldn’t know if I never tried. If anyone could get that close without sending me into a panic attack, it would be Patriot.
“You want me to make it official?” he asked. “Or do you want more time? Because I will wait as long as you need me to, Little Bit. I’d wait an eternity for you.”
My heart melted at his words and I held back a sigh. He could be the sweetest man ever. Of course, I’d also seen him knock a man unconscious. Patriot had a protective streak a mild wide, at least when it came to me. How could I not love him?
“If you’re sure you want to keep me, then you can make it official. I don’t want you to find out that I’m more broken than you realized and regret your decision later.”
He narrowed his eyes a moment, then glanced at Galahad. “Out. I need to have a conversation with your cousin, and you don’t want to be here for it.”
Sean didn’t have to be told twice. He downed his cocoa and took off, the front door slamming in his wake. I fidgeted in my seat.
“I’m trying to be logical,” I said. “It’s not fair to you. If I can’t give you what you want, what you need, then I don’t want to be hanging around your neck like an albatross the rest of our lives. You deserve to be happy, Ronan.”
“We already went over this. You make me happy, MaryAnne. I don’t want anyone else. It doesn’t matter if you never let me kiss you again, or if we never have sex. I like spending time with you, sharing my home with you. You’ve become my best friend since I brought you here.”
“We can be friends without you claiming me,” I pointed out.
“Do you not want me?” he asked. “Is that it? You don’t want to belong to me? Because if that’s the case, say so and I’ll drop it. I’m not going to force you to do anything, MaryAnne. I’m sure as hell not going to make you be my old lady if it’s not something you want.”
“I do want that, more than anything, I’m just… just scared,” I finished softly. “I don’t want to disappoint you, Ronan. You mean everything to me, and I never want to be the one to cause you pain.”
He leaned closer and kissed me, his lips whisper soft against mine. “Let me worry about the kind of pain I can handle, Little Bit. There’s nothing you could say or do to me that would hurt worse than not having you in my life.”
He deserved better than me, but I wasn’t strong enough to push him away. I wanted to be with him every bit as much as he wanted to be with me. I wasn’t sure it was in the same way. Yes, I wanted to know what it would feel like for him to touch me, wanted to see if I could handle being intimate with him. But I was also terrified that I’d fall apart, or worse. I didn’t want to see pity in his eyes. I could handle a lot, but not that.
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him how I felt, that I was falling fast and hard for him. Yet I held back. One day I’d say the words. When I felt stronger, less broken, and more certain of where I stood. He’d said he would claim me, make me his officially, but until I knew I could give him everything he needed and wanted, I’d forgo any confessions.
Chapter Four
Patriot
Christmas was getting closer. A permanent chill had settled in the air, and our small town had decorations up on Main Street. Most of the homes were strung with lights, and the shops were overflowing with people buying presents. I’d always preferred to do any shopping online, but this year was different. MaryAnne was going to be mine, my old lady, and I wanted to make this Christmas special.
Which was why I found myself at the mall three weeks before the holiday. The place was packed, and everyone was out for themselves. I’d watched two women who had to be at least eighty bicker over a sweater. Two men in the tool section had nearly come to blows over a socket wrench. It was like everyone had lost what little sense they’d had. Only good news was that most people gave me a wide berth.
I’d managed to buy MaryAnne a pink scarf and a matching peacoat, a silver bracelet with a heart charm, and a tablet with an SD card I’d been assured would hold thousands of books. The woman loved to read, and I was all for her finding pleasure wherever she could. As long as it wasn’t with another man. I’d probably bought more than enough. Except last Christmas, I hadn’t known her very well so I’d picked stuff like bubble bath, nail polish, and hair stuff. Or rather, I’d let Phoebe pick out those things, then I’d wrapped them and stuck them under the small tree.
Now that I knew how much she loved Christmas, I was determined to make this one the best she’d ever had. A six-foot tree was being delivered later tonight, and I’d picked up some lights and ornaments. An electronics shop caught my eye and I paused to check out the display. It gave me an idea. Several, in fact.
I stepped inside and went over to the counter. The man gave me a wary look, but didn’t seem overly hostile. I was used to everyone assuming I was a criminal since I belonged to the Hades Abyss MC. They saw bikers wearing cuts with patches and figured we were all rapists and murderers. Granted, I’d slaughtered the men who’d hurt MaryAnne, and I’d gladly do it again, but I only took out the trash. Hell, I’d served my country and followed the rules for quite a while. I’d also learned sometimes those who deserved to burn were allowed to walk away. Now, I made sure those assholes paid the price for their crimes.
“How much for that one?” I asked, pointing to a small purple camera. He quoted me a price that seemed fair, so I paid f
or it and added it to the sacks in my hand. After several more stores in the mall, and a big box store on the way home, I’d made a dent in my bank account and hopefully guaranteed MaryAnne had a wonderful Christmas.
Hell, I’d even stopped at the pet store and bought a bag of treats and a bone for Archimedes, a new toy and some treats for Hatter, and a few toys for the kitten. Everyone in the house would have a gift.
Wrapping everything was another matter, and I didn’t know where to hide it all where she wouldn’t find it. So I stopped at Titan’s house when I reached the compound. I knocked on his door and smiled when Delilah answered.
“I need a favor,” I said. “I went shopping for Christmas gifts, except I don’t have anywhere to hide them at home, and no idea how to wrap anything so that it doesn’t look like it was mangled by a rabid badger.”
She snorted, then laughed. “Bring it in. I went a bit overboard buying wrapping paper and bags, so I should have enough to take care of it. If not, I’ll ask Titan to pick up a few more rolls.”
“I heard that,” the Pres yelled from somewhere inside the house. “I’m not buying another damn roll of Christmas paper. Make Patriot get his own shit. Fuck! Delilah, your son puked all over me, the couch, and the floor!”
I tried really damn hard not to laugh, but a snicker might have slipped out. Ever since Titan’s son, Walker, had been born, the Pres had been a little out of sorts. It was clear he adored the kid, but he didn’t handle puke well, and little Walker had a tendency to only throw up on his daddy. I personally thought it was hysterical. Although, the last time I’d laughed when it happened, Titan had smeared the puke on my cheek, which only made me throw up.
Delilah rolled her eyes and sighed. “Bring your stuff in and set it in the living room. If you happen to buy any wrapping paper in the next day or two, I’ll gladly take another few rolls. If I don’t use them this year, there’s always next Christmas.”
She walked off, presumably to save Titan from their kid, and I started hauling MaryAnne’s presents into their house. When I’d finished, I shut their front door and headed home. Seeing exactly how much I’d bought for MaryAnne made me realize she’d probably want to do some shopping of her own, but I also knew she wouldn’t take money from me outright. I’d have to be sneaky about it.
I sent Galahad a message. If I give you an envelope of cash, will you give it to MaryAnne?
He responded almost immediately. Why can’t you give it to her?
Because I don’t want her to know it’s from me. She probably will want to shop for Christmas presents.
I got a thumbs-up in response and shoved my phone into my pocket before I went into my house. I didn’t know exactly how much cash I had stashed in the small safe in my closet, but I knew I had at least a few thousand in there. I’d put a few hundred in an envelope and have Galahad give it to MaryAnne. She’d accept it from him easier since they were blood, even if he had been a dick to her on occasion.
I heard Christmas music playing when I walked in the door and smelled something sweet coming from the kitchen. I followed my nose and paused in the doorway, smiling as I saw MaryAnne dancing around the kitchen as she mixed something in a bowl. The kitten rolled on the floor with a paper towel, trying to shred it, while Archimedes stood at MaryAnne’s side, eyeing the stove. Jingle Bell Rock played from the radio on the counter, and MaryAnne sang along. Even Hatter whistled a bit while he bobbed his head. Too fucking cute!
Her red sweater had reindeer covering it in a small print, and her dark jeans hugged her legs. She had another fuzzy pair of socks on that were red with white snowflakes. I’d never seen her happier than I had this holiday season. Her first Christmas here, I’d tried to make it special without going over the top. I’d gotten some smiles from her, but this year was different. She’d healed more and seemed less scared. Although, she still didn’t venture outside the compound very often.
She poured the contents of the bowl into a pan, then rinsed the dish in the sink, completely oblivious to the fact I was watching her. The music was just loud enough she probably hadn’t heard the front door. She shook her hips side to side as the song switched to Last Christmas. I loved seeing her like this, so carefree. She’d come a long way since I’d pulled her from the mental hospital.
“What are you making?” I asked, moving farther into the room.
She shrieked and dropped the mixing spoon, spinning to face me. “You scared me!”
Archimedes barked at me before pressing against MaryAnne’s legs. Yeah, it seemed my woman had him wrapped around her finger too. She’d had me on my knees, ready to do anything for her, the moment I’d brought her home. She reached down and patted his head, and my heart warmed at the gesture. My rescues loved her, and she loved them back. I typically didn’t keep the animals I brought home and tended while they healed, but this crew hadn’t wanted to go anywhere.
“Sorry, Little Bit.” I went to her, wrapping my arm around her waist and tugging her against me. I gave her a slow kiss, my lips brushing hers. “What’s the occasion for all the baking?”
“I enjoy it. I know we can’t eat all this, but I thought you could take some of it to the clubhouse for the single guys. I’m sure Phoebe and Delilah are making stuff for Kraken and Titan. And I’ll give some to Galahad, since he’s family. Well, blood-related family.”
I pressed my nose to her hair and breathed her in. “You’re such a sweetheart. I’m sure they’ll love anything you want to send over.”
“Have you…” She stopped and drew back a little. “Did you talk to the club about claiming me? Is that where you were?”
Shit. I hadn’t thought to tell her I was going to the mall. I hadn’t exactly wanted her to know I was buying presents for her. In the past, I’d never told her where I was going. Only that I’d be gone for a bit. But things had changed between us. She wasn’t just staying in my house anymore.
“No, the club hasn’t had Church yet. I went shopping for some presents.” I kissed her forehead.
“Presents?” Her eyes went wide. “But I haven’t gotten you anything!”
I cupped her cheek. “You’re my gift, MaryAnne. But if you want to go shopping, you could always ask Phoebe or Delilah, or maybe check with your cousin. I don’t want you going out alone.”
“No worries. I don’t want to leave unless either you or about four other Hades Abyss guys are with me. Even then, I’ll be looking over my shoulder the entire time.” Her lips twisted. “Guess I’m not that brave yet. The kitten seems to have more courage than me.”
The floof in question was pouncing on Archimedes and biting at his ears. The coon mix gave an aggrieved sigh, but didn’t try to retaliate. One swat with a paw, the kitten would go sailing. It wasn’t more than eight weeks old and barely weighed two pounds.
“Little Bit, after all you’ve been through, you have every right to be overly cautious. Not a single person here will blame you for wanting extra protection when you leave the compound.”
She pointed to the counter. “I have two tins of brownies and two of cookies ready to go. I also have a cake I was about to put into the oven, and there’s another batch of brownies cooking too.”
When she’d moved in, I’d been in the process of renovating my kitchen. With the thought of a family in the future, I’d put in a double oven. Of course, I’d have to tell her about my issue and inability to get her pregnant the normal way, but we’d cross that bridge when the time came. I’d only thought of the double oven because Phoebe had asked Kraken for one, and I’d figured my woman might enjoy having the same thing. I’d also purchased more appliances the last year than ever before. There was a toaster oven on the counter and a crock pot in the pantry, as well as anything else MaryAnne had mentioned would be nice to have.
“I have a live tree being delivered in the next hour. Think you’ll be done baking in time to help me string lights and decorate?” I asked.
Her face lit up and she smiled so wide her cheeks had to hurt. “I can’t wait!”
I kissed her again, then left her to her baking. While she finished up in the kitchen, I organized the ornaments and lights in the living room and shot off a text to Riley.
Pick up some wrapping paper and drop it by Titan’s house.
I saw he’d read my message and knew it would get done. Riley had proven himself to be reliable, so far. I had a feeling both him and Morgan would be patching in before long. I didn’t see the vote going any other way.
I hadn’t thought to pick up any other decorations, or lights for the outside. I wondered if MaryAnne would want those things. As into the Christmas spirit as she seemed to be, I should have thought to bring home more stuff. Pulling my phone back out, I shot off another message to Riley.
Bring outside Christmas lights to my house, and clips to hang them.
I got a thumbs-up emoji which had me shaking my head. It bugged the shit out of me when they didn’t respond with actual sentences, and everyone in the club knew it. I sometimes thought they sent some mix of emojis and broken sentences to aggravate me.
There was a knock at the door, and I opened it right as MaryAnne came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel. Morgan and Cache stood on the other side, my tree on the ground behind them.
“Where do you want this, Patriot?” Cache asked.
“Living room. There’s an empty corner where I think it will fit.”
They hauled it inside and I grabbed the base from my Bronco. I hadn’t thought to bring it in yet. While they got the tree into the base and situated into the corner, I showed MaryAnne the different ornaments I’d picked up. They weren’t anything fancy, but I’d hoped she’d like them. There were times she had a childlike wonder about her, so I’d grabbed a bunch of little animals, as well as the usual Christmas characters like Santa, the Grinch, and Frosty. The tree was going to be a hodgepodge of things, but I’d never understood those fancy trees where everything matched.