Barricade

by Lindsey Black

  ‘In a minute,’ Ioane agreed. ‘But please. Allow me to speak to my son? Just for a short while? I never … dreamed.’ There were tears in his eyes, and the man was naked in a cage, that made him harmless.

  Sasha kissed Jett’s cheek and left him. The others followed his lead and suddenly Jett found himself alone with his maker. The room seemed suddenly huge and the cold bit deep into his bones.

  ‘Please, come closer?’

  Jett stepped forward before he’d even thought about it, moving to the cage and letting his gaze search the man for any signs of similarities but they were scarce. Only when he looked at the man’s eyes did he realise they weren’t as dark as he had thought, and there was a red tint to the dark brown that was all too familiar when it caught the light. Jett saw it every time he looked in a mirror.

  ‘What’s your name?’

  ‘Sione,’ his father replied immediately. ‘Sione Ioane. She gave you my name.’ His smile was blinding.

  ‘She knew she wasn’t going to live,’ Jett assumed. It was the explanation he’d come up with while he sat alone, wondering about the two of them. Why give him a stranger’s name? Only both his parents were strangers, and at least there was a chance he would meet his father, long after his mother had left the world. ‘Maybe she wanted to leave me a clue.’

  ‘I had no idea she was pregnant,’ Sione murmured, his gaze inward and faraway, lost in a memory. ‘Had I known I would never have stopped looking.’

  ‘Yes you would have,’ Jett countered, shaking his head and sighing heavily, staring at the ceiling and pondering how anyone was supposed to have such conversations. He’d never been good at small talk, it hadn’t been necessary, and it left him feeling lost and stupid. But he struggled to find the words, knowing they were important. ‘You didn’t stop because you didn’t think you would find her; you knew that from the beginning. You stopped because you found something more important to do.’

  ‘Not more important,’ Sione shook his head vehemently. ‘They were the same, really. I needed a cure and I knew she was immune. If I could find her, I could help everybody.’

  ‘If you knew, why didn’t you do something sooner?’ He was missing too many pieces of their story.

  ‘I only found out when we got to Russia. She … Hye. Your mother’s name was Hye, I don’t know if you knew that. Hye wanted to find her grandfather. Her father died in an accident and she wanted to see if any of her family had survived the fall of North Korea. So we came to the Barricade to ask and they allowed us to stay near one of the camps. Hye was visiting her grandfather when there was an outbreak and they wouldn’t let her leave. I tried to visit every day but they wouldn’t let me in.’

  The way he spoke, as if it were yesterday, hurt. Jett reached out and stroked one of the fingers clutching at the cage wire. His father’s skin was dry and dirty, and his hands were icy in his nakedness, but Ioane didn’t seem to care, fixated on Jett’s touch. A tear rolled down his cheek, leaving a trail in the dirt engrained in his skin.

  ‘They wouldn’t let me in. Only Hye and her grandfather survived and no-one would let me see her or tell me the truth but I knew. She was immune, they both were. They took her away and told me she had committed a crime. I can’t remember what it was, something stupid. Petty theft, I think, but they said I had to go to Moscow to petition her release and I knew, right then that I would never see her again. But I tried. I spent years searching, I swear.’

  ‘You don’t owe me anything,’ Jett said softly, pulling back and studying the man, looking for any hint of a lie in anything he had said or done. But there were none. Sione had nothing to lose, and nothing to give, he just was.

  ‘Would you like a hot shower?’ It had not been what he had meant to say, and he startled himself with the question as much as Sione.

  The way the man’s face lit up and he straightened in shock and immediate desperate need made Jett grin. He knew that feeling, of being completely filthy and wishing with all he had that he could just be clean.

  ‘In a bit.’ Sasha came down the stairs from wherever he had been waiting and listening. He put a hand on Jett’s shoulder and pointed to the doors as Enzo and Matti came down and started putting on their Q-hab suits. ‘First, get dressed and take them back to get the information we need. Come back with them and you can have a shower, a meal and talk some more. I would like to hear what you have to say.’

  Sione stared at Sasha for a long time, appearing relieved.

  ‘You really are nothing like I expected.’

  ‘That’s because you expected the worst,’ Sasha told him gruffly, passing Matti his rifle and then motioning for Sione to step away from the cage entrance.

  Matti and Enzo entered and Sasha locked the cage behind them. Sione surprised them by folding the blanket he had been given and placing it back in the chute, waiting in the nude with seemingly infinite patience as Matti and Enzo opened the doors and ushered him out into the cold afternoon.

  Jett found himself staring at the open doors in a stunned stupor, unable to fully process the morning. Sasha’s hands fell on his shoulders and guided him to the stairs. He took one of Sasha’s hands and threaded their fingers together, letting him pull him upstairs to his bedroom, feeling relief when the door closed behind them. He felt calmer in his room, encased in an environment he could control. And Anna was there on the bed, looking happy and unchanged by events.

  ‘Shoes off,’ Sasha ordered and Jett obeyed from habit, leaning down and unbuckling then unlacing and kicking them off, aware of Sasha doing to the same. Sasha was naked on the bed before Jett could get his own shirt off and he stood there with it tangled around his elbows while he stared down at the long length of naked man laid out on his blankets.

  ‘Hurry up, it’s cold,’ Sasha urged him and Jett hurried to oblige. He tossed his shirt down and pushed his cams and underwear off, stepping out of them and onto the bed. He collapsed down beside Sasha and let him wrap him in arms and blankets and warmth. Anna settled on their feet at the bottom of the bed.

  ‘Thank you,’ he managed to mumble against Sasha’s collarbone where his face was pressed into the curve of Sasha’s shoulder and throat. Just the scent of him was grounding.

  They should have been on top of the Barricade providing cover for Enzo and Matti, but Sasha was their leader and he wasn’t insisting on it so Jett took the time he was being offered to just be. He closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing, letting his mind empty of the day’s events. He had no idea how much time passed and Sasha was a silent, warm presence wrapped around him.

  When he finally opened his eyes he found Sasha watching him, apparently content to do nothing else. Anna had moved to the floor by the closet and was asleep.

  ‘How do you feel?’ Not ‘are you okay’, because obviously he wasn’t.

  ‘I just never expected to meet him, you know?’ There was a lot more to it than that, but he knew Sasha would understand. It was less about meeting him and more about realising what he’d missed out on and what his father had lost.

  Jett imagined it was worse for Sione. Jett hadn’t known anything but the life he had, but Sione had lost his wife, a child he hadn’t even known existed, the world as he knew it and with it all the dreams he’d had for the future. Jett felt no anger toward the man, only grief for what was lost.

  ‘Sad,’ he acknowledged the emotion and Sasha kissed his temple with a heavy sigh.

  ‘Are you okay with what we’re doing?’

  ‘I’m not sure what we’re doing,’ Jett admitted, chuckling softly because that seemed funny all of a sudden.

  ‘I meant with your father, jackass,’ Sasha squeezed him tighter. ‘You better be okay with what we’re doing, because I’m pretty sure I can’t stop.’

  ‘What are we doing?’ He needed clarification more than ever.

  ‘We’re being … Us. You’re mine, and I’m yours and if you sleep anywhere but with me I’m going to go insane. So don’t. Okay?’

  It went both ways. He
nodded and kissed the fingers near his throat, feeling his cock harden even with just that small taste of Sasha’s skin.

  ‘And what are we doing with … Mr Ioane?’

  His father was apparently the leader of the towns people who were in possession of an illegal tunnel into Russia and who were causing the Barricade soldiers endless trouble, and yet he’d invited the man into his home to have a shower. When he thought about it he wasn’t completely certain he hadn’t lost his mind.

  ‘We’re going to help them make a vaccine, if we can,’ Sasha rolled to his side so they were nose to nose. ‘If you’re willing to help them.’

  ‘Of course I am, but … Is that what you want? Won’t that get you into trouble? I mean, if what he said is true, then our leaders have had the cure and a vaccine all along but they haven’t given it to anyone.’

  ‘If it’s true then Russia’s leaders have murdered a few billion people and they should be held responsible,’ Sasha stonily replied. ‘We shouldn’t have to live in fear so someone else can control our lives.’

  ‘That’s not a very Russian sentiment,’ Jett chuckled, rubbing his nose against Sasha’s, marvelling as always at the symmetry of the man’s features.

  ‘I’ve had a bit of a change of heart about Russia recently,’ Sasha confided. ‘I mean this is a country that demands everything of its citizens. It takes your family, your childhood, your choices and your future and claims everyone will be equal, but for what? Why do we all need to be the same? Whose stupid idea was that?’

  ‘Matti said all Russia does is make sure we all suffer equally.’

  Sasha’s smile was sad and his eyes squinted a little, making fine lines in the corners that made him look older. Still beautiful but worn from his decisions.

  ‘Matti’s always been good at seeing things for what they are.’

  ‘So if we manage to make a vaccine …’

  ‘I’ll make sure every person working on the Barricade is vaccinated, like they should have been all along,’ Sasha promised. ‘And then I’ll make sure they vaccinate every person they can find. If there’s anything left south of here, maybe we can help save a small piece of it.’

  ‘Your bosses won’t like that,’ Jett grinned.

  ‘Well, fair’s fair, I don’t like them either,’ Sasha lifted up on one arm and hovered over Jett for a moment, gaze lingering on his throat before he leaned in sucked hard on Jett’s sensitive flesh. It burned a little but Jett didn’t complain, laughing at the pleased humming sound vibrating in Sasha’s mouth, tickling his skin.

  Sasha looked incredibly pleased with himself when he pulled back and stared at the rich bruise Jett knew was now on his neck.

  ‘Was that entirely necessary?’

  ‘Oh yes,’ Sasha nodded emphatically. ‘Just a reminder for your father that he can’t have you.’

  ‘That’s so absurd,’ Jett grumbled. ‘You and he are not the same thing at all.’ One was a potential parental figure and the other a lover. The two were definitely not alike, but it was cute that Sasha felt the need to mark him so that others would see it and know he was taken.

  ‘No, we’re not,’ Sasha agreed. ‘I’m way more important.’ His grin should be outlawed; all the thoughts flew from Jett’s mind besides tasting those lips. He licked his own and tried to concentrate, but it was hard with a naked man lying over him.

  ‘You are to me.’

  The grin morphed into a genuine smile that lit Sasha’s face. His eyes shone and his wrinkles disappeared. His brow smoothed and his cheekbones lifted, bringing out the dimples. He was so happy and it had been so simple, Jett felt guilty he hadn’t said anything sooner.

  ‘Say it,’ Sasha urged, hopeful but also somehow smug. It made Jett want to deny him but he couldn’t.

  ‘You’re the most important to me.’

  ‘I love you too.’

  ‘That’s not what I said,’ Jett protested immediately, but his mind was buzzing with the words stuck on a loop. ‘You … what?’

  ‘I love you,’ Sasha repeated himself, leaning in to kiss the last of his thoughts away. ‘I thought it was pretty fucking obvious, but I guess not.’

  ‘Since when?’ They hadn’t known each other long enough.

  ‘Oh, pretty much the moment I saw the truck leave you out front. Kidding. I think it was when you admitted you liked The Idiot.’

  ‘But …’

  ‘No,’ Sasha placed one long finger against Jett’s lips, stilling them. ‘You don’t get a say in that, it’s only for me. No buts, no exceptions, no whys or why nots, it just is. I love you. You’re stuck with me. Deal with it.’

  ‘Well, I wouldn’t say I’m stuck with you,’ Jett griped, sucking Sasha’s fingertip into his mouth and playfully biting down.

  ‘No?’

  ‘No,’ Jett kissed Sasha’s finger and then turned his face into his palm, kissing it as well. ‘You can’t be stuck with things you love. You choose to keep them.’

  He was never going to tire of seeing that smile. He was in the middle of kissing his way into it when there was a knock on the door and Enzo demanded they hurry up and come talk to their guests.

  Disgruntled, Jett rolled out of bed and started pulling his clothes back on, stealing glances at Sasha as he dressed because the man was like a work of art. He should have been guarding the Hermitage, he would have fit in flawlessly.

  ‘Stop staring and put your shirt on before your nipples turn blue,’ Sasha ordered and Jett glanced down to check that wasn’t happening. It made Sasha laugh, at least.

  Once his boots were buckled and he was ready to face Sione Ioane again, Sasha draped his black scarf around Jett’s neck several times, using the ends to pull him in close and kiss him one last time.

  ‘Just remember you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. No one is ordering you to do this. If you want to stop, just say so. If you want to leave the room, just go. If you want to punch your father in the face, I’m cool with that.’

  ‘Why don’t you like him?’ Jett mused.

  ‘I don’t dislike him,’ Sasha ran his fingers through Jett’s hair and then pushed a beanie down on his head. ‘I just won’t let him hurt you and I don’t trust him. I don’t trust anyone from the south, it’s not safe to trust them. They lie. They’ll do anything they think they have to to get what they want.’

  ‘Okay,’ Jett shook his head, not sure Sasha made sense but not particularly caring either. It was cute, that he thought a man Jett had spoken to once could hurt him, but then Matti had been right about a lot of things, including that Sasha missed the family he was robbed of. Jett didn’t miss it at all, because he hadn’t known what a family was.

  Matti and Enzo were standing on the stairs in front of the bathroom. The water was running and Jett assumed their guest was having a shower.

  ‘We brought back a woman as well,’ Matti told Sasha. ‘A doctor. We let them bring their clothes in but checked them for weapons at the gates. I’m sure she’s not sick.’

  ‘It’s in their interests to give us what we want,’ Sasha reasoned. ‘They’re not going to try to hurt us if there’s a chance at getting a vaccine.’ He also suspected they wanted to see inside the tower, but that was inevitable. The layout of the towers was not a secret and they had to have figured out what was where by now so he wasn’t that worried about letting them see. They didn’t actually have much to hide.

  ‘We’re going to need to draw blood,’ Matti said softly, stroking a hand down Jett’s arm. ‘Do you want to do that now, while they’re in there?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Jett breathed a heavy sigh of relief. He wasn’t afraid of needles or blood, he’d had plenty of both in his training. But he didn’t want people staring at him and knew it would be easier to get it out of the way.

  ‘Alright, let’s go,’ Matti headed downstairs and Jett leaned in to kiss Sasha quickly before hurrying after him. Sasha stayed to watch the guests with Enzo.

  ‘When they changed you, how did they do that?’ Matti’s voice wa
s low and deliberately soothing. It didn’t stop Jett from jerking in shock at the question. He didn’t like thinking about what he had been. Where he was from, or what it might have meant. He didn’t want to remember that for a long time he had assumed that was where he would die.

  ‘Uh … injections, mostly. There was a surgery but I don’t know what they did. I was young, I don’t even know how long it took.’

  ‘Did they ever take blood from you?’

  ‘Yeah, a lot of times. Maybe once a month or so?’ And a lot of it.

  ‘That’s a good sign. Means they were using it for something. Suggests it should be useable.’

  ‘Okay.’ He followed Matti into the infirmary and sat on the edge of the bed while Matti gathered what he needed from a drawer in the cabinet against the wall. He wasn’t nervous about the blood, but he was nervous and after a minute he realised he was worried it wouldn’t work. That he was tainted and his blood would be useless.

  ‘If it doesn’t work they don’t lose anything,’ Matti read his fears easily. ‘You can’t lose something you don’t have. But maybe we can help them gain something, alright? It’s going to be fine, no matter what happens.’

  It wasn’t, but it was a nice thought anyway.

  20

  C-SGT-NREBUD666-21651666

  ‘Did you see? We finally won!’

  Sasha just stared at the boy, unable to recall ever having met him. He should know his face, his name, which bed roll was his, something he liked. Anything at all. Not a single thing about him sparked even the tiniest hint of interest. Not even his words.

  ‘Pretty sure we won when the last brick went up and sealed us off from the infection,’ he grumbled, going back to his book.

  ‘Nah, look! Your Dad took London!’ The boy dropped a photo on his textbook and ran off, bellowing at some other poor soul. Leaving Sasha to stare at the image, cut from one of the propaganda papers. A man who looked suspiciously like the person Sasha saw in the mirror each morning stood on the ruins of what might have been a city once but was little more than rubble now. He didn’t look happy, or proud. He just stood there, staring blankly while his photo was taken in a place that looked like no place. Like the end of the world.