The Wish Book Christmas

by Lynn Austin

  “Six o’clock. Don’t forget—I need you to take the boys and Cooper for a walk before he gets here. I don’t want Bobby to make too much of this date.”

  “I think it’s a little late to worry about that,” Eve said with a grin. “Bobby already asked Alan to be his daddy, remember?”

  Audrey clutched her head. “How can I forget? I was so embarrassed!”

  “But don’t worry. I’ll make sure Bobby is gone when Alan comes.”

  Audrey sat down at the dressing table to put on her makeup while Eve removed the bobby pins from her pin curls so she could brush her hair. “Isn’t it fun to get all dressed up to go dancing again?” Eve asked.

  “I wish I’d never spoken to Mrs. Barrett about Alan.”

  “Audrey, listen to me.” She gripped Audrey’s shoulders and met her gaze in the mirror. “I know for a fact that you’ve enjoyed yourself these past few weeks when we’ve been with Alan—decorating our Christmas tree, going to the school program, cutting down the tree out at Tom’s farm, and delivering presents to the Robertson family. For once in your life, please stop worrying and fretting and just enjoy yourself. Enjoy being with him. Alan is our friend. And it’s Christmas!”

  “You need to stop saying, ‘It’s Christmas.’ I know it’s Christmas.”

  “Then think of this evening as an early Christmas present.” It was what Mrs. Barrett had said, as well—that she should think of her friendship with Alan as a gift. That’s all it is, she told herself. A friendship. When the holiday season ended, their friendship would likely become a mere memory, tossed out with the tree and the tinsel and the wrapping paper.

  The boys were sitting on the floor with Cooper, watching television, when Audrey emerged from her bedroom, ready to go. “Oh, Mummy!” Bobby said. “You look like a princess!” And Bobby looked so much like Robert, from his dark hair and eyes, right down to the cleft in his chin.

  “Thank you, sweet boy.” She bent to kiss his forehead, then glanced at the clock—almost six. “I think it’s time to take Cooper for his walk, isn’t it?” The dog understood the word walk, and he stood and twirled in a circle, tail thumping against the sofa. Thankfully, the novelty of having a dog still hadn’t worn off, and the boys jumped up to put on their coats and galoshes.

  Alan arrived a short time later with a beautiful corsage of red roses. “You look lovely tonight, Audrey,” he told her as he helped her fasten it to her wrist.

  “Thank you.” She got a whiff of his cologne as he held her coat. She felt a jitter of nerves ripple through her stomach, but then Alan smiled—and there was something about his appealing, one-sided dimple that put her at ease. Eve was right. This was their friend Alan. She needed to simply enjoy the evening with her friend. How many years had it been since she’d danced with anyone?

  “Before I forget,” Alan said, “please tell Bobby and Harry that I received their invitation, and I would be happy to come to their birthday party for Jesus on Christmas Day. I was hoping they’d be here so I could tell them myself.”

  “They’re walking our neighbor’s dog at the moment, but they’ll be very glad to hear it.”

  The dining room at the country club had been transformed after yesterday’s children’s party into a lovely, winter fairyland with candles and fragrant pine boughs and thousands of twinkling lights. Audrey felt a brief moment of panic when Alan introduced her to his parents, wondering if she would measure up to his first wife. Audrey’s experiences with dating had always meant being analyzed and sized up by parents on both sides, who would decide if she measured up. She knew that Mrs. Barrett and Mrs. Hamilton already approved of this match, but instead of offering relief, it brought a new worry. Would their mothers push too hard? As another jitter of nerves rippled through her stomach, Audrey could almost hear Eve whispering in her ear and saying, “Stop worrying!” And Eve was right.

  Audrey drew a steadying breath and smiled as she spoke with Mrs. Hamilton for a few minutes. Then she held Alan’s arm as he made the rounds during the cocktail hour, greeting his bank employees and their spouses and dates. She wondered what she and Alan looked like together. He was so tall and solidly built, while she was small-boned and petite. Alan had a way of making everyone feel comfortable and welcome as he chatted with them, and his good nature soon had the same effect on Audrey. She managed to stop worrying and felt relaxed and at ease by the time they took their seats at their table.

  Alan was charming and attentive as they ate their way through the elaborate dinner, asking what she liked about America and what she missed about home. He seemed fascinated by her accounts of driving an ambulance during the war.

  “Now it’s your turn,” she said before dessert was served. “Were you in the service during the war?”

  “I enlisted in the army, but my job wasn’t nearly as exciting as yours. I was based in Washington, DC, for almost the entire time and traveled around the country as a liaison between Uncle Sam and various businesses that had government contracts. Very boring, really, compared to what you did.”

  “But quite necessary. I know firsthand how valuable all of those tanks and weapons were when it came to saving my homeland.”

  “I never did get to see Europe or Asia like most of my friends,” he said with a sigh, “but I did travel around America quite a bit. And it was fortunate that my wife was able to live with me in Washington during the war.”

  Audrey had been searching for a way to ask about his wife and was grateful that he’d provided an opening. “Mrs. Barrett told me you’d been married. I would love to hear about your wife, if you don’t mind.”

  He nodded but looked down at the table and toyed with his dessert fork as he spoke. “I met Elizabeth when I was in college and she was studying at Vassar. She was my roommate’s younger sister. I think we both knew we were in love from the very beginning, and we made plans to get married after we graduated. But then the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor and I decided to enlist. When I finished all of my military training and learned that I would be posted in Washington, we decided to forget about the great, big wedding we’d planned and just get married in a simple church ceremony.”

  “Robert and I were married in my hospital room after I was injured by a V-1 rocket,” Audrey said, remembering. “My wedding gown was a hospital gown. It’s funny how the things we’d always imagined were important, like a fancy wedding, turn out to be not so important after all.”

  “That’s true. And I’m very glad that Lizzie and I didn’t wait. Not long after our third wedding anniversary, she was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s disease. It advanced very quickly. Just over a year later, she was gone.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “I know I don’t need to tell you what it’s been like to grieve a loss like that. You understand all too well. I’m grateful for the time Lizzie and I had together—more time than you had with Robert, I’m guessing.”

  “You’re right. And we were apart for much of that time. But I thank God every day that we had Bobby.”

  “And now Bobby seems to have brought us together,” Alan said with a smile. He reached for her hand as the band began playing “The Tennessee Waltz” and asked, “Would you care to dance, Audrey? Lizzie always accused me of having two left feet, but I think I can manage a waltz.”

  “I would love to.” He led her to the dance floor and took her in his arms. Audrey closed her eyes as they swayed to the music. Holding Alan was very different from holding Robert, who had been slender and not nearly as muscular as Alan. But oh, how wonderful it was to be held in a man’s arms again. She felt the crack in her shrine to Robert opening just a little bit more.

  “I want to talk about happier things, Audrey, but before we do, I want to thank you for including me in all your Christmas activities. It has been such a gift to me.” There were those words again—a gift.

  “We’ve enjoyed having you with us.” It was true, even if Eve had been the one who kept insisting that he join them.

  “Ever since Lizzie died,
I’ve been trying to bury my grief beneath piles of work. But spending time with you and the boys has made me want to enjoy life again. I know that you understand the pain of loving . . . and also the fear that if you love someone new, you’ll risk the pain of grief all over again. I haven’t been ready to take that risk yet.”

  “Neither have I. Robert was gone before I even had a chance to say goodbye.”

  “For Lizzie and me, it was a very long, very difficult goodbye.”

  “I suppose there’s no easy way to lose someone you love,” Audrey said softly.

  “This is the first time that I’ve enjoyed Christmas in years. Reaching out to the Robertson family felt wonderful. I admire what you and Eve are teaching Bobby and Harry about giving. And I want you to know that one of the people your little Wise Men gave a gift to was me.” The song had ended, but Alan pulled her close for a brief hug. “Thank you.”

  She smiled up at him. “You’re very welcome.” They remained on the dance floor, holding hands, and it seemed perfectly natural to begin dancing again as the band started playing “Because of You.”

  “I hope we can spend more time together as friends in the coming year,” he said. “I’ve needed a good friend who understands the toll that grief takes. What do you say?”

  He gazed down at her, and Audrey thought she understood how Mrs. Herder must have felt as she removed the gold star from her window. There was a lingering shadow of guilt and regret, as if she were saying a final goodbye to a familiar friend, but also a sliver of hope and anticipation. “I would like that very much, Alan.”

  He waltzed her to the middle of the floor, and when one of the other couples began laughing and pointing to the ceiling, she looked at the chandelier above their heads. A green branch was dangling from it. “I believe that’s mistletoe,” Alan said with a smile. He held Audrey by the shoulders and bent to kiss her. The warmth and joy of it spread all the way to Audrey’s toes. “That was just a friendly kiss, of course,” he said afterwards, trying to look serious.

  “Of course,” Audrey said, trying to appear equally serious. Then she smiled and added, “But I still enjoyed it.”

  Chapter 11

  4 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS

  Eve couldn’t concentrate on any of the programs on television. She couldn’t stop thinking about Audrey’s dinner date with Alan, wondering how it was going, whether Audrey was able to relax for once and stop her endless worrying long enough to enjoy herself. Bobby had been right—his mother had looked like a princess. Sleeping Beauty, perhaps? Eve hoped Audrey would finally awaken and take a chance at love again.

  She had tucked the boys into bed thirty minutes ago, but she could still hear them whispering and giggling. They would probably find it even harder to fall asleep on Christmas Eve. They had begged to have the dog sleep with them on the first night, which was out of the question considering how big Cooper was. But Eve and Audrey had finally agreed to allow him to sleep on a rug next to their bunks. “But not on the bed, please. There won’t be any room for either of you.”

  The tinsel on the Christmas tree glowed like multicolored icicles, reflecting the lights. The space beneath it was still empty. How Eve wished that Harry could wake up on Christmas morning to find piles of toys beneath it—everything he’d asked for in the Wish Book along with the big aluminum airplane from the store window. If only she could afford it. Was it too late to ask Nana Barrett to buy the airplane for him? And would Audrey be angry with her if she did?

  Eve stood to change the television channel and saw a pair of headlights arc across the front window as a vehicle pulled into the driveway. It couldn’t be Audrey and Alan back so soon, could it? But then she recognized the familiar rattle and rumble of Tom’s truck. She hurried to open the door for him before he had a chance to ring the doorbell, knowing the dog would bark and the boys would be out of bed again. Eve felt awkward facing Tom as he walked up to the door. He seemed ill at ease, too.

  “Hello, Tom.”

  “Hi.”

  “Audrey is out on a date with Alan, and—”

  “I know. Get your coat and come outside with me for a few minutes. Please?” He waited on the front step, his hands in his coat pockets, as she went inside to put on her coat and boots. The winter night was beautiful, the air so crisp and clear that Eve could see millions of stars sparkling in the sky. If they drove out to Tom’s farm in the country, away from the village lights, she knew that millions more stars would be visible, along with the great white swath of the Milky Way. She loved gazing up into the country sky at night.

  “What brings you into town?”

  “I came to give you your Christmas gift.” He pulled an unwrapped box from his pocket and handed it to her. It was an ordinary white box, the kind that a necklace or a pair of earrings might have come in. She opened it and saw a diamond ring in a gold-filigree setting nestled on the cotton batting. It looked like an antique. “The ring belonged to my grandmother,” Tom said. “I’m asking you to marry me.”

  Joy and panic wrestled with each other in Eve’s heart. She wanted to say yes, yet she couldn’t say yes. She needed to hold Tom in her arms, yet she needed to push him away. She was afraid to love him, yet afraid that if she didn’t, she would lose him. She stared down at the ring, not at him.

  “If you accept this ring, Eve, and agree to set a date for the wedding, that will be your Christmas gift to me. If not, then I need to stop hoping. I need to stop caring. I want to marry you and adopt Harry as my son and raise a family with you. I want my farm to belong to you and Harry and to be the place where we work together and spend all of our Christmases together like my parents and grandparents did.”

  She looked up, staring into the distance, not at Tom. The colored Christmas tree lights in her neighbors’ windows blurred as her eyes filled with tears. She had never met her daddy, who had died in the Great War before Eve was born. But from what everyone had told her about him, he was a kind, gentle man like Tom who had loved farming the land and tending his animals. Eve’s granny used to say that Eve had inherited her love of the woods from him. To have a home and a future with Tom was everything she could have wished for. If only . . .

  “I can’t wait any longer to marry you, Eve. If you accept this ring, then I want to set a date for our wedding. One that’s only months from now, not years.”

  “I have to work to pay back—”

  “If you were my wife, we could work together. You could pay back your debt faster if you weren’t also paying rent.”

  “But part of the reason I need to pay Audrey back is to prove that I’m sorry.”

  “She knows you’re sorry. Do you think she would have asked you to live in this house with her if she hadn’t forgiven you?”

  “I need to prove that I’ve changed. That I’m trying to be a better person, and—”

  Tom took her shoulders in his hands, gripping them tightly. “I don’t know who you see when you look in the mirror, Eve, but you need to start seeing what God sees—a woman who is worthy of a second chance.” He pulled her close and held her tightly. Eve’s heart was beating so hard that it hurt to breathe. “I’m tired of waiting, Eve. You can let me know your answer on Christmas Day when I come to the birthday party.” He released her and walked to his truck.

  Eve went inside and hung up her coat. Then she sank onto the couch with her face in her hands and wept.

  Eve was still awake, sitting in the darkened living room with only the Christmas tree lights for illumination, when Audrey returned home after midnight. She saw the lights from Alan’s car pull into the driveway, but a few minutes passed before Audrey came inside. “Did you and Alan have a good time?” Eve asked her when she did.

  “Yes. A very lovely time.”

  Eve remembered the dreamy look Audrey had worn when she’d fallen in love with Robert, and although that same look wasn’t there yet, Audrey did seem contented.

  “Did you stay up late just so you could interrogate me about my date?” she asked with a smil
e.

  “Not exactly. I am curious to hear how it went, but I also need to talk to you about something else.”

  Audrey took off her coat and kicked off her shoes before sinking down on a chair with a sigh, her crinoline rustling. Eve was barely listening as Audrey talked about the dinner and the dancing afterwards and admitted that she’d enjoyed Alan’s company a lot. “But Alan and I have both decided that we are simply good friends, for now.”

  “Isn’t that what I said before you left?”

  “It is. And he also thanked us again for letting him be part of all our activities this Christmas. I didn’t tell him that it was all your doing and that I gave you a hard time about it.” She sighed again, then said, “What’s in the box?” Eve was still holding it in her hands with the lid closed as if it contained something dangerous. Perhaps it did.

  “Tom came here earlier tonight. He gave me this Christmas present.” Eve opened the lid and held the box out to show Audrey the ring. “He asked me to marry him.”

  A huge smile spread across Audrey’s face as if she was about to offer her congratulations. Then her smile faded. “Why isn’t the ring on your finger?”

  Eve closed the lid. “I don’t know if I can accept it.”

  “But you love him.”

  “I do, but I have . . . obligations.”

  “Not to me. Eve, please don’t feel that you owe me anything. You don’t.”

  “Tom was my best friend before you came. But he’s such a good man, Audrey, and I’m not a good person. I have an illegitimate son. Fathered by a married man, no less.”

  “You asked God to forgive you, remember? And you know that He has. That’s what Christmas is all about. It’s why He sent Jesus, isn’t it? So we could be forgiven. And Tom knows the truth as well.”