by Lylah James
Opening my eyes again, I stared at the empty hall. Ayla needed to know what she meant to me, how important she was to me.
Stalking to our bedroom with a newfound confidence, I opened the door but frowned when I found the room empty.
She must be in her room. Last night was pure torture. I found that I couldn’t sleep without her. But tonight, that was going to change. Moving to her bedroom, I knocked on the door, but got no response. My fist moved over the door a few times, but there was only silence.
Confused, I opened the door but found this room empty and dark too.
What the fuck? Where was she?
Walking out, panic welled inside of me. My heart thumped harder as my stomach rolled with tension. I quickly walked down the hall, my hands going up to my hair in frustration, my fingers digging in my scalp.
“Ayla?” I called out.
I saw Viktor coming out of his room, and he looked at me confused. “Where’s Ayla?” I asked.
“She was in her room the last time I saw her,” he replied, alarm flashing in his eyes.
“She’s not there!”
My feet quickly took me down the stairs as I looked around the house in panic. My body trembled at the thought of losing Ayla.
Stopping at the last step, I saw Maddie coming toward me. Her stares were hard, and she scowled before turning her face away, ignoring me.
“Where’s Ayla?” I growled low, glaring at the stubborn woman in front of me. If there was someone who could answer this question, then it was Maddie.
Her chin went down in a defiant movement, and she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. Fuck! Anger coursed through my body, and I roared, not caring that I would be waking everyone up.
“Where is she?”
Maddie’s eyes turned cold, and she stared at me blankly before stepping forward. Looking up at me, she hissed, “Fuck you.”
With that, she walked around me and went up the stairs. My whole body was vibrating with fury. And dread. Raking my fingers through my hair, I clenched them tightly as the muscle in my jaw ticked from the way I was gritting my teeth.
“I saw her going into Maddie’s room.”
Nikolay’s voice snapped me out of my dreadful thoughts, and I swiveled around to see him standing beside Viktor on the top of the stairs. He nodded, and I released a shaky breath, relief filling my body.
Without sparing them a glance, I quickly walked back upstairs and knocked on Maddie’s door. I heard quiet footsteps approaching from the opposite side, and my shoulder sagged in relief. She was in there. I could feel it.
The door opened a few seconds later, and there she stood, wearing her light pink nightdress. My heart squeezed at the sight of Ayla, and I just wanted to wrap my arms around her. I just wanted to hold her, feel her.
Her eyes widened at the sight of me, and she made a move to close the door, but I stopped her movement with my foot. “Ayla. Stop,” I growled.
Her lips twisted ruefully, and fire sparkled in her angry eyes. “Alessio, I told you—”
“I know what you said, but this time you are going to listen to me,” I continued, talking over her.
“No,” she snapped, her shoulders pushed back stubbornly.
“Why are you doing this?” I said with a sigh, a sense of defeat taking over me.
Ayla stared at me for a few seconds. I saw the hurt in there. Pain, guilt, anger, sadness. My Angel was hurting, and she wouldn’t even let me comfort her.
“You taught me how to be strong,” she started, her voice soft.
I blinked up at her, confused. But her next words were like a knife stabbing at my heart.
“This is me being strong.”
With that, she shut the door in my face. I didn’t have a chance to stop her. I was overwhelmed with shock as I stared at the door.
Placing my forehead on the door, I closed my eyes.
How am I going to fix this?
Chapter 13
Ayla
I was dreading opening my eyes. Falling asleep last night without Alessio was painful. I had to take my sleeping pills, just in case my nightmares came back.
In the back of my mind, I had this annoying voice whispering to me that it was my fault. But the other voice fought back, telling me I needed time to think.
Holding the other pillow to my chest, I burrowed deeper under the comforter with a sigh before opening my eyes. But I quickly covered my mouth with my hand to stifle the gasp that threatened to escape at the sight in front of me.
“Alessio,” I breathed, my eyes fixated on his sleeping form.
Shoving the purple comforter from my body, I got off the bed and walked to him. He was sleeping on the chair beside the bed, his legs stretched out in front of him, his head rolled to the side in what looked like an uncomfortable position.
His suit jacket was thrown carelessly on the floor while his black shirt was unbuttoned on the top, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing just a little of his tattoos that ended there.
I came to a stop in front of him, my heart thumping at the sight of his face. His eyebrows were furrowed, his forehead pinched with tension even in his sleep. He looked tired, his lips turned down in a frown. Leaning forward, my fingers brushed lightly over his forehead, softly easing the tense lines.
Alessio shifted slightly under my touch, and I quickly moved my hands away. He always looked peaceful in his sleep…but this time, he looked almost in pain. And I hated it.
I hated it even more knowing that I could be the cause of his pain.
Closing my eyes, I could still see his tormented expression from last night when I had closed the door in his face.
I opened my eyes again and slowly moved my fingers over Alessio’s face, caressing him but without touching him. I traced his lips, his eyes, his nose, his eyebrows, my fingers just an inch away from his skin.
“I don’t know what to do, Alessio. I don’t know what to feel. I’m so confused,” I whispered before pulling my hand away.
When I saw his forehead furrow at the sound of my voice, I quickly stepped back. Giving Alessio’s sleeping form a final glance, I turned around and walked to the bathroom. As soon as the door was closed behind me, I leaned against it and shut my eyes.
Alessio was both my strength and my weakness. With him, my heart soared with happiness. Without him, I felt empty.
Opening my eyes again, I shook my head. “Stop thinking about it, Ayla,” I said to myself, facing the mirror. My reflection stared back at me, my face looking just as haggard as I felt.
After freshening up and getting dressed, I walked out to the door but hesitated.
Was he still there? Did he wake up yet?
I didn’t think I had the courage to see him again. If I saw him again, I knew I would forgive him in an instant and beg him to hold me.
Finally, my fingers wrapped around the knob, and I opened the door. I took a deep breath and stepped out.
The room was empty.
Alessio was gone.
My shoulder drooped low as I stared at the chair he had been sleeping in before. I didn’t know if I was sad or relieved. As my eyes stayed glued to the chair, I realized that I was secretly hoping he would still be here.
These feelings were confusing. Frustrating and definitely annoying.
I glared at the chair, my lips twisting ruefully. Shaking my head, I walked out of the room without a final glance.
Maddie was waiting for me in the kitchen, and as soon as I walked inside, she raised an eyebrow in my direction. “I saw Alessio walking out of my room,” she commented, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Yes,” I sighed. “He probably spent the night there. I woke up to see him sleeping in the chair.”
“Did you talk to him?” Lena asked. I glanced at her from the corner of my eyes, and I saw her staring at me expectantly. When I shook my head mutely, her shoulders dropped sadly.
“How long are you going to avoid him? I’m not telling you to forgive him, because he doesn�
�t deserve to be forgiven so easily after that stupid act, but I think you need to let him explain. Not for his sake, but for your own,” Maddie explained, her expression a little hopeful.
I knew she was right, but I just had to find the courage to confront Alessio now.
***
I had successfully avoided Alessio all morning and at lunch. It pained me to do so, but I had spent most of the day thinking. About him, us, and what had happened.
But every single time, I came to the same conclusion.
I was scared.
I was scared that what he felt for me was a lie. I was scared that he could move on so easily, forgetting me. After all, he had so many women lining up for him.
I was always second…even with Alberto. Even though he claimed that I was his, he was never mine. I had to share him with other women. He would fuck them in front of me, forcing me to watch. And then he would fuck me right after.
Closing my eyes against the painful memories, my fingers tightened around the comforter. Behind my closed lids, all I saw was Sasha coming out of Alessio’s office, holding her ripped panties. It was painful to think that Alessio had touched her so easily.
I lost track of how long I sat there lost in my thoughts, but when I finally looked at the time, it was time to prepare dinner. Getting off the bed, I walked out of my old bedroom.
I was making my way downstairs when my steps faltered at the sight of Alessio coming up. His head was cast down as he stared intently at his phone. My throat was suddenly dry, and my hand clenched the banister.
He continued upstairs, completely oblivious that I was standing in his way. But when he was a few steps below me, he froze, his head slowly coming up to stare at me.
I sucked in a harsh breath at the sight of his beautiful, tired face. His face softened, and he slowly walked up the stairs until he was one step below me. In this position, we were almost the same height.
His blue eyes, filled with pain and longing, raked over my face as he took me in with a sorrowful expression. His eyes spoke volumes.
For the first time, he was letting me see what he was feeling. It was right there in the open, his eyes shining with vulnerability, something I was sure he had never shown anyone before.
But here he was, giving me yet another part of himself.
His hand slowly came up until his finger was tracing a line down my cheek. His touch was gentle, almost feather light.
“Ayla,” he whispered, my name sliding past his lips as if he was whispering a prayer. His thumb brushed over my lips as his eyes stayed on mine.
With Alessio so close, I was lost in his captivating, pain-filled eyes. My body was instinctively drawn to him before I could think.
“Alessio,” I breathed, moving just a little closer. At the sound of my voice, he cupped my cheek, holding my face gently.
But then the connection was broken. The spell that had bound us together in that moment vanished in thin air, leaving us both stunned and completely dejected.
“Boss.”
I felt Alessio’s warm touch disappear from my face as he pulled away and turned toward the voice that had called him. Phoenix looked between us and then fixated his eyes on Alessio.
Quickly looking down, I released the breath that I hadn’t even realized I was holding. Phoenix was saying something, but I tuned him out.
Feeling disappointed that my moment with Alessio was interrupted, I avoided eye contact with him and Phoenix and continued my way down.
I felt Alessio’s eyes on me the whole time, his stares burning holes in my back. My body was strung tight with tension, and I rubbed my sweaty hands over my dress, trying hard to control my breathing and racing heart.
Stepping into the kitchen, I sent Maddie a quick smile, acting as if everything was fine when I was feeling anything but fine.
I couldn’t keep doing this any longer. It was only hurting me. But in the process, it was hurting Alessio too. And the thought of him being hurt felt like a knife stabbing in my chest.
He was a confident man. Arrogant and so sure of himself, but the Alessio standing on those stairs, he was a completely different man.
For both our sakes, I willed myself to be strong.
A hand on my arm snapped me out of my thoughts. Maddie stared at me, an eyebrow raised in question.
Swallowing nervously, I looked down at my feet and looked back up again, finally speaking my thought.
“I need your help.”
Chapter 14
My legs bounced up and down almost frantically. In their nervous movement, a random rhythm was found. It matched the beating of my pounding and wildly racing heart.
If the bouncing of my knees were not enough to show my anxiety, then my hands showed it clearly. My trembling hands rested on my lap, my fingers clenching tight, and then unclenching around the fabric of my dress.
It wasn’t a surprise that I was slowly going crazy with tension.
After all, I was sitting at the piano, waiting for Alessio to make his appearance.
It had been two nights since I last played the piano. The last two nights, it was Alessio hoping that I would come to the piano room and play for him. And now, it was me waiting for him.
Was he going to come? Or was he angry at me? Was he going to make me wait, like I did to him?
With each passing second, I was growing more alarmed at the thought that Alessio wasn’t going to come.
What was he doing right now?
Did he receive my note?
The flower?
Did he smile while reading it? Was he happy about them?
Or did he ignore them?
My lips turned down in a frown at the thought of him refusing my gifts. But then I shook my head. “Stop it, Ayla,” I muttered.
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I heard a sound at the door, and my head snapped toward it.
There he was. Alessio.
He was standing tall, his hands resting on the door as he struggled with his breathing. It appeared as if he had run all the way here. There were beads of sweat dotting his forehead, a few strands of hair clinging on his skin as his eyes fixated on mine. His breathing was almost frantic, his eyes presenting a wild look as he walked further inside.
I saw him swallow nervously several times, his throat bobbing up and down with the movement. Alessio walked to his sofa chair, which was directly in front of the piano.
Taking a seat in his usual spot, he extended his legs forward in the exact same position he would take every single night while I played the piano.
We didn’t say anything. There was only silence.
But the silence between us was enough. It was always enough. We only needed each other’s presence, our eyes on each other. Words were never needed to express what we were feeling.
So I kept my eyes on him, and he did the same.
Blue to green.
Taking another deep breath, I tried to relax my tense shoulders, and I placed my trembling hands on the piano keys. My touch was light, barely even touching. My fingers softly moved over the keys, and my mouth curved up in a small smile.
I missed this.
Not just the piano, but this moment between just Alessio and I.
I missed him. His presence, his smile, his twinkling bluish steel-colored eyes. I missed everything about us.
So I played.
While we never took our eyes off each other, I played to him like I did every night. I played for us.
The music flowed, cocooning us in its warmth. A sweet, gentle melody. Something I had learned while I was trying to escape the darkness that Alberto would always throw me in.
It always brought me peace, but in this moment, I wasn’t doing it for me.
I was doing it for Alessio, hoping it would bring him peace and ease the pain I had caused him.
I didn’t have much to give him, so I gave him the only thing I had. The only thing I knew I had. Something I had treasured close to me for years.
After playing the so
ng once, I played it a second time. My eyes caught Alessio’s shoulders dropping as he started to relax in his sofa chair. A breathy sigh escaped past his lips, and the pained expression on his face slowly started to fade away, until he was staring at me with soft eyes.
I melted into his stares, my heart accelerating as I took him in.
As the song came to an end for a second time, I paused, my fingers laid gently over the keys as I breathed. Alessio stayed still, and he waited for my next move.
Slowly pushing the bench away, I stood up and walked around the piano until I was standing in front of it, facing Alessio. There was nothing between us. I just had to walk a few steps and I would be in his arms.
And that was exactly what I did.
One second I was standing away from Alessio and the next, I was right in front of him, standing between his spread legs. My knees touched his sofa chair as I looked down at him.
My eyes moved over his hard, muscled chest and then down the length of his arms until they landed on his right hand.
He was still holding the flower I had given him.
A single white peony.
His fingers were wrapped around the stem like he never wanted to let go. But even then, his hold looked almost gentle, as if he was scared to ruin the delicate flower.
I choked back a sob as my eyes moved to his other hand.
He was holding the note I had sent him before coming to the piano room. I knew what it said. I had stared at it for hours before finally having the courage to send it to him.
Please come to the piano room. I want to play for you.
That was what it said. Simple words, yet it meant a lot to both of us.
Glancing away from his hands, I looked into his eyes again. Without giving it another thought, I sat down on his lap, settling myself sideways and leaning against his chest.
I felt Alessio’s shocked breath, and then his arms were around me, so quick that it took me by surprise. He crushed me to him and buried his face in my neck.
My name was barely a whisper against his lips, but I heard it. I felt it. Placing my head on his shoulder, I wrapped an arm around his waist.