by Lylah James
We were both silent for a few moments. Alessio kept his face buried in my neck, and I felt him place a soft kiss there before tightening his arms around me.
“Ayla,” he started, but I squeezed his waist, stopping him.
“Just let me talk, okay? I need to say something,” I replied.
“Okay,” he readily agreed. “Whatever you want, Ayla.”
Moving my head from his shoulder, it forced him to shift away from my neck too. I sat up straight on his lap, our faces a few inches apart. My hands came up to cup his cheeks, my fingers rubbing gently over the slight stubble.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Alessio’s eyes widened, and he quickly shook his head. “No. Don’t—” But his flowing words were stopped by my finger pressed over his lips.
“No, listen to me, Alessio. Please, just let me get this out, okay?”
He sighed and gave me a sharp nod, his fingers digging into my hips. “I’m sorry for hurting you. I was angry and hurt, and I wanted you to hurt. I’m still angry and hurt from what you did, but I can’t hurt you. It torments me to think that you were in pain because of me.”
Alessio made a strangling sound. He brought his hand up his face and placed it over mine. I looked at his stunning face, my heart thumping at how beautiful he was, even when he looked so tired and forlorn.
“I get why you did it,” I continued. “I get why you thought I was the spy. It makes sense, so I don’t blame for you not trusting me before. These last two days, I kept thinking if it were possible that whatever we had was a lie. I was and still am scared.”
Rubbing my fingers over his lips and then tracing his nose, my fingers continued their way up under his eyes. “I can forgive you for that.”
I paused and then swallowed hard before uttering the next words. “But I don’t think I can forgive you so easily for what happened with Sasha.”
Alessio opened his mouth, but I shushed him again. “Even if you didn’t have sex with her, you still touched her.” I choked on the last words.
The thought of Alessio touching another woman was gut-wrenching. I might have been lying too. I was keeping a big secret from Alessio, I was just as guilty, but I couldn’t accept the fact that Alessio had touched another woman.
“The thought of you touching another woman—the thought of you being with someone else so easily, it’s painful, Alessio. I don’t think I’ll get over that soon. I might forgive you for the rest, but it’ll take me time to forgive you for touching Sasha.”
“Ayla,” he whispered brokenly, his eyes filled with guilt. “I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t know the whole story. The only thing I know is that you touched her. I have my reasons why I don’t want you to explain,” I murmured, my fingers brushed over his eyebrows, my whole body tingling like it always did when I was touching him.
“Because if you explain now, I will doubt you and your intentions. My judgments will be clouded by my anger and hurt. And I don’t want to ever doubt you.”
I cupped his jaw again, and he leaned into my palm, nuzzling into my touch. I felt my heart crack and then slowly piece together at the show of affection.
Leaning forward, I placed a sweet kiss on the tip of his nose. I felt Alessio sighing almost contentedly.
“I have thought about this for so long. You have showed me so many times that you care, Alessio. You helped me, stood by me, and made me strong. You never gave up on me and never left me in the darkness, even when I was so stupidly stubborn. When I think about everything we’ve been through and everything you have done for me, I think I can forgive you. I will eventually forgive you.”
“And that’s all I need. I just need your forgiveness, Ayla.” The words were spoken low and almost fiercely.
Giving him a tentative smile, I continued. “When it’s time for you to explain, I want to be ready to believe you. And for that I just need some time to get over this anger and stupid hurt that’s filling my heart right now.”
“How much time? How long do you need, Ayla?” he asked, his eyes wide with caution, layers of desperation clouding his expression.
“Just a few days. That’s all I’m asking.”
After those words were spoken, we fell silent. I leaned my forehead against his, and we breathed. My hands went to the back of his neck, my nails softly dragging up and down the skin, just the way I knew he loved. He slowly started to relax, his tensed muscles loosening under my touch.
“Being away from you hurts, Ayla. It’s painful.”
My eyes snapped open at his words, and I quickly blinked away my unshed tears. “I’m sorry.”
“But I don’t want you to be sorry,” he interrupted quickly. “You have every right to be angry and hurt. I fucked up bad. This mess we are in right now is my fault. So I understand. If I saw another man touching you, I would probably kill him without a second thought.”
At his words, I remembered the scene that took place yesterday, when Viktor had kissed me. Alessio had snapped and went ballistic at the sight of Viktor touching me.
“So I don’t blame you, Ayla,” he said. “I’ll give you however much time you want. Just please don’t take too long. I don’t think I can wait for a long time.”
Alessio paused before confessing softly, his next words taking my breath away. “I need you.”
I need you too, I wanted to say.
“Okay,” I agreed before placing my head on his shoulder again. Alessio wrapped his arms around me, holding me close.
“Where will you sleep?” he suddenly broke the silence that we were both basking in.
“In my room. I don’t think I can sleep in our room without touching you. I can’t bear having any kind of distance between us,” I replied dejectedly, hating the thought of sleeping without him.
“I don’t think I can sleep in our room without you, either,” he confessed, his fingers tracing random patterns on the length of my bare arms.
Pushing my head up, I looked at Alessio, my gaze searching his in question. “Our room will stay empty until you are ready for me to explain. When you are ready, we’ll meet in our bedroom,” he explained, his bluish eyes holding me captive.
That sounded perfect. “Okay,” I agreed again. Alessio sent me a small smile and quickly gave me a peck on the lips.
I pressed my forehead against his and closed my eyes again, letting myself feel his arms around me. I let this moment make its way into my heart, holding it closely there. I absorbed his warmth for one last time, knowing that it was almost time for me to go.
After a few minutes, I leaned back and Alessio’s eyes turned sorrowful. “I have to go now,” I whispered.
Alessio nodded, and I slowly got off his lap. His arms fell to his lap, and a shuddered breath left his body, an agonizing expression passing over his face.
Giving him a final glance, I turned to walk away, but a hold on my wrist stopped me. Looking down, I saw that Alessio’s hand banded my wrist, refusing to let me go. I faced him again, and he stared up at him, his eyes glistening in the light.
“Don’t take too long,” he ordered gruffly in an authoritative way that made my toes curl. His voice was hard, demanding, and held a clear warning.
I couldn’t help but smile before nodding.
He still didn’t let go of me. So, this time, I answered verbally. “Okay.”
When he was satisfied with my spoken answer, his fingers unwrapped around my wrist as he let me go.
I walked backward a couple of steps before turning around and leaving.
Entering my room, I closed the door and got straight in bed. After taking my sleeping pill, I burrowed deep under the soft comforter and closed my eyes.
But sleep didn’t come as fast as I expected.
Instead, all I could think about was Alessio.
My body was tingling and warm under the comforter. Even though Alessio wasn’t holding me any longer, I still felt him on my skin. It was as if he branded me, letting me know that I was his.
&n
bsp; And there was no denying it.
I was his.
Chapter 15
“Are you serious?” Maddie growled as she walked into her room, slamming the door behind her. My head snapped up at her tone, and I placed my book down, giving her a questioning look.
“Huh?” I asked.
“Three fucking days. No, scratch that—five days, Ayla! How long is this going to last?” She glared at me. I knew exactly what she was talking about, and as she voiced out her frustration, I looked down guiltily.
“I don’t know what to do with you, and it can’t go on like this anymore,” she cried, her unconcealed impatience evident in her tone and expression.
Sighing, I nodded my head. “I know—”
But she interrupted me, not giving me chance to talk. “Alessio is practically going insane. He isn’t eating and barely even sleeping. Have you seen him? He looks horrible! And let’s not forget the anger. Oh God, I’m shuddering with just the thought of it. He’s snapping at everyone and is threatening to shoot people left and right. I’m going to admit this only once, but even I am scared of him right now.” She paused and sucked in a quick breath before continuing with her rant.
“I have never seen him like this. He’s like this dragon breathing fire, and everyone is scared of going close to him. Every single member of his household is keeping their distance from him, even Viktor and Nikolay. And Mom, too. We are so done with this shit and want it fixed, right now! And only you can fix this,” Maddie snapped, stabbing a finger at me.
In the last three days, the only time I saw him was at night when I would play the piano. But that was it. After playing, I would get up and walk away.
It was torturous and left a deep ache inside of me. Even worse, I knew it was hurting Alessio too.
Maddie was right. I had kept this on for too long. The problem was that I had already forgiven him, but I just didn’t know how to say it. Or maybe I didn’t have the courage to say it. Either way, now everything rested on my shoulders, and I had to ask for his forgiveness too.
Before I could open my mouth to say something, Maddie kept going as she crossed her arms over her chest, trying to look very intimidating. But with the way her glare was centered on me, she didn’t have to try too hard.
She was frightening when she was angry.
“You’re hurting yourself too, Ayla. This is hurting both of you. You aren’t eating properly either, and I can see you lack sleep. Those dark circles don’t look pretty on you. Can you please, for everyone’s sake, let him off the hook and just let the poor man explain!”
Yup. She was definitely scary.
Crossing my arms over my chest too, I leveled her with a look. “I know.”
Maddie scoffed, but then her expression softened. “I know he hurt you.”
Shaking her head, she mumbled something under her breath before speaking loudly. “And that’s why you need to let him explain so you both can figure this out together. You need each other. I also know that you have forgiven him already but are too scared to say it. Just let him fucking explain!”
“Whose side are you on, anyway?” I fired back.
Maddie paused, her mouth opened, but then she closed it again. She huffed and twisted her lips in a pout. “Aylessio’s side.”
Aylessio? What?
She stared at me expectantly, wiggling her eyebrows teasingly.
Ayla and Alessio. Aylessio. Her ship name for us.
I let out a laugh when realization dawned to me. She really wasn’t giving up.
“Don’t laugh. This ship is not sinking, you hear me? It has sailed and will keep sailing! It’s not sinking under my watch.” She narrowed her eyes at me, but her tone had taken a teasing lilt now.
“I messed up, didn’t I?” I asked, thinking of Alessio.
“Not really. You just need to talk to him and fix this misunderstanding,” she replied, coming to sit beside me. “I understand why you reacted the way you did. I would have done the same thing. But it’s now time to fix the hurt both of you caused each other.”
“I know. I’ll talk to him tonight,” I replied. It was time to mend this broken relationship. I had to let Alessio know that I had forgiven him, and I had to ask for his forgiveness in return.
Maddie breathed a sigh of relief beside me. “Oh, thank God. Make sure Alessio is back to his normal self, please. He scares the shit out of us at the moment. Although I’m glad he is taking it out on everyone else but you.”
I didn’t think I would be able to bear it if his anger was directed at me.
Maddie shrugged and then encouraged me in a sweet voice, “Go get your man. He needs you. Just don’t give up on him.”
She was right. Alessio was always fighting for everyone, even for me. He fought to keep me. He fought to get rid of my darkness and never gave up on me. And now it was my turn to fight for him.
Maddie got off the bed and smiled. “In the meantime, I’m going to get my man.” She sent me a wink and then walked out of the room.
As soon as the door closed behind her, I quickly went to the bathroom. After washing my face, I combed my hair and decided to leave it down. It flowed beautifully down my back, just the way Alessio loved it.
I walked out of the bathroom but stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Alessio standing in the middle on the room. He was turned sideways, facing the wall.
He looked even worse than last night. His rough stubble had grown another inch, and it was obvious he hadn’t shaved for days. His suit was wrinkled, as if he’d slept in them. The side of his lips were cast down in a frown.
Even though he appeared completely worn, Alessio was still the most handsome man to me.
My thoughts were interrupted when he turned to face me. My eyes widened when I saw the change in his expression. Alessio crossed his arms over his chest; his legs were shoulder-width apart as he glowered at me.
He was glaring at me so fiercely I almost took a step back.
“Alessio—” I started, but he cut me off.
“I’m not doing this anymore.”
Oh no. Please no. Did I break us beyond repair?
Alessio started toward me, his steps slow. No, he prowled toward me, looking dangerously like a predator hunting his prey.
I lifted a hand up to explain, but my mouth snapped shut when a deep, angry growl vibrated from his chest.
Maddie was wrong about one thing.
This time, Alessio was definitely taking out his anger on me.
“I told you I won’t wait for long. I am not a patient man, Ayla,” Alessio said in a low, deadly voice.
“Alessio, please—” I muttered shakily.
As he walked forward, I retreated backward, but then bumped into the wall. Damn it, the wall always got in my way. Every single time.
Alessio tilted his chin up as he regarded me with angry blue eyes. My chest squeezed painfully tight, and I swallowed nervously under his penetrating, intense gaze.
“I was just about to come up and talk to you,” I tried to explain, hoping this would calm him just a little bit.
But it didn’t.
“Oh really?” he spat.
I nodded mutely, begging him with my eyes.
Alessio stopped inches from my body as he cornered me against the wall.
“Really,” I mumbled.
“I thought you said you weren’t going to take too long,” he hissed in my ears. My heart thumped faster at his words, and I placed a trembling hand over his chest, trying to push him away from me.
Bad move. It only pissed him off more.
His finger wrapped around my wrist and squeezed in warning. “Don’t test me, Ayla,” he growled low.
“You hurt me, and I needed time,” I suddenly snapped.
Another bad move. This time he was furious.
Alessio cocked his head to the side and stared at me, his eyes sizing me up.
He stepped forward until his body was plastered against mine. His hands wrapped around my waist, his fingers digging
into my hips. “This was so much easier when you were scared of me,” he snapped back.
My eyes widened, and I gasped. Struggling against his hold, I saw his blue eyes crackling with fierce intensity.
Alessio pulled me away from the wall, and I saw the corner of his lips lift up in a small smirk. That should have been warning enough.
“We are doing this my way now, kitten,” he said gruffly, his voice deep and low.
But I didn’t have time to think.
Within a second, I found myself over his shoulders, dangling upside down.
“Alessio, let go of me,” I demanded, struggling against his hold. Alessio didn’t listen. Instead, he stalked out of the room and walked down the hall that led to the staircase.
“Alessio! Stop it!” I snapped. “Let me down.”
When I felt a slap over my butt, my eyes widened, and my mouth snapped shut. Did he just spank me?
From my position on Alessio’s shoulder, I saw Viktor, Nikolay, Maddie, and Lena standing in the living room, staring at us with big smiles on their faces.
Well, Nikolay wasn’t smiling big. His lips were just turned up in a tiny barely there smile. Viktor was smirking while Maddie and Lena both had big smiles on their faces. Maddie looked extremely proud of herself, and she wiggled her eyebrows at me.
I couldn’t believe they were seeing this.
I pinched Alessio’s butt in return, and that earned me another slap on the ass. The spot he slapped burned a little, although it didn’t hurt. I twitched and struggled against his hold.
That earned me another spank. And another. Four actually. Two on each butt cheek. They came down hard and fast and rendered me speechless.
“Wiggling that pretty ass of yours in my face isn’t helping your case, kitten. So I suggest you stop moving. Or not. You can keep struggling. It’s making me really hard at this moment.”
Feeling completely mortified and shocked that he would say that in front of everyone, I closed my eyes and stopped moving, lying limply on Alessio’s shoulders.
I was dangling upside down a lot longer than I wanted, and my head started feeling heavy while he walked up the stairs. He made his way to our room and walked inside, kicking the door closed behind him and stalking to our bed.