The Seventh Hour

by Tracey Ward

  “Can I be frank with you, Grayson?” Gav asks steadily.

  I pause, my fork halfway to my mouth. “You’re not really going to ask me how often I jerk it, are you?”

  He grins. “No.”

  “Okay. Then sure, go ahead.”

  He pushes his empty plate aside, leaning forward on the table. “I want to know what you have planned for my sister.”

  That’s why, I think dolefully, lowering my fork to my plate. Now I remember why he’s intimidating.

  “Is this a normal conversation for Eventides?” I ask, stalling. “Because it’s pretty personal for a Gaian.”

  “No. If we were with the Eventide you’d be having this conversation with our father. Trust me, you’re lucky you’re getting me.”

  I shift in my seat, trying to stretch out my back. It burns low and angry, dulled by the meds yet persistent as the sun.

  “Is your back bothering you?” he asks.

  I nod. “It’s tight. It feels hot.”

  “Do you want to walk? Would that help?”

  “Getting out of this conversation would help more,” I chuckle weakly.

  “We’re already in it. We may as well finish it.”

  I sigh, settling in as much as I can. “Okay. Uh, I don’t really have a plan.”

  “But you love her?”

  “Ha,” I laugh reflexively, a nervous tick. “Yeah, I do. I love her.”

  “Why is that so hard for you to admit?” he asks curiously.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Do you want to think about it?”

  “Not really.”

  Gav is silent. It’s off-putting.

  I look up to find him watching me, his approachable demeanor fading.

  “I say it to her,” I relent on a sigh. “I have no problem telling her. But telling you or telling anyone else, it’s hard. It feels weird.”

  “Why?”

  “It feels like… it feels like people will judge it,” I admit, the words ringing true in my ears for the first time. I’ve never consciously had that thought before, but now that I say it I know that it’s right. “I’m worried people will wonder why. Not because Liv isn’t someone worth loving, but because she’s leaving. I’m not going with her, she’s not staying, so is it stupid to love her? Are we setting ourselves up for something ugly?”

  “Are you asking me for my opinion or talking to yourself?”

  “Both?”

  He sits back in his seat, relaxing in a way I envy down into my bones. “I don’t think it’s stupid to love her. I think you are both setting yourselves up for something ugly.”

  “Perfect,” I mutter.

  “There’s a solution.”

  “Does it involve me getting on a boat? Because from what you told me I don’t think your dad would like that. Plus, now I know about the dolphins, so…”

  Gav narrows his eyes at me. “Are you always this difficult when it comes to talking about love? About life? Is this why your affair with Karina didn’t work out?”

  “It wasn’t an affair. It wasn’t anything. And, yeah, I’m difficult. I have trouble talking about this stuff.”

  “What do you see happening when the doors open and our ships come into port?”

  “I see Liv following you on board,” I answer honestly. “I see her sailing away.”

  “And you’re alright with that?”

  “Not even a little. But she told me that if you were alive, she’d leave with you.” I gesture to him, alive and well. “She’s leaving.”

  “She told you that? In those words?”

  “Maybe not those words exactly, but that was my understanding.”

  “You haven’t talked to her about it recently?”

  “There’s no point.”

  Gav sighs, leveling me with his gaze. “I don’t know if I like you or not.”

  I laugh, unable to contain it. “Okay, that’s blunt.”

  “I’m being serious. I don’t know if I like you, but Liv loves you. Liv is different here. She’s better than she has been in years. Stronger. More the woman I saw her growing into before life shut her down. I think this town is good for her. I think her job is good for her. But what I’m not convinced of is whether or not you are good for her.”

  I sit up straight, refusing to look away. I barely even blink. “I don’t know either. But I know that she’s good for me. She’s the best thing in the world for me, and if you think she should stay here in Gaia, I want you to tell her that. More than anything, I want her to hear that.”

  He stands fluidly, pushing his chair under the table silently. Ever the picture of good manners.

  “I could do that,” he tells me pensively, “but I won’t.”

  I feel my temper flare. My hope hit the floor. “Why? If you think this is a better place for her, why wouldn’t you tell her to stay?”

  “Because I don’t believe it’s a good idea for me to tell her. I think what will convince her to stay is for you to ask her.”

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Gray

  Liv giggles quietly, bells singing in the darkness. I reach out across the bed to trace the contours of her face. Her jaw. Her chin. Her ear. I get lost in the soft tresses of her hair, cinnamon in color and sugar in scent, just like her skin. Every inch of her enticing and delectable.

  “You should go home soon,” I whisper to her. “It’s getting late.”

  I feel her shake her head on the pillow, her cheek brushing against my palm. “Gav is out drinking with Easton. He won’t be home for hours.” She kisses me chastely. “We have time.”

  “You don’t live next door anymore. It’s a long walk from here to the Forces dorm.”

  She kisses me again, just a taste. “I’ll run it.”

  “I’ll walk you.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  “If I want you to be safe I do.” I kiss her languidly. “If I want to feel like a gentleman in the morning I do.”

  She giggles again, her breath hot against my lips. “You passed gentleman twenty minutes and a million kisses ago.”

  “Are all of your clothes still on?”

  “Yes.”

  “Have I touched you anywhere the sun hasn’t seen?”

  She’s blushing. I can’t see it but I can feel it the way I can feel her across a room. The way I felt her heartbeat in the eye of a storm.

  “No,” she answers honestly.

  “Then I’m not just a gentleman. I’m a knight.”

  “Does that mean I have to be a princess again?”

  “I’d rather you didn’t.”

  She puts her hand on my chest, resting it over my heart. “Then I won’t.”

  I listen to her breathing. It’s deep and sleepy. Happy. My hand slides up her thigh, over her hip. It trips up the hem of her shirt. It slips under it.

  Her breath hiccups behind it. Stuttered and nervous as her fingers pull at my shirt.

  “Grayson,” she breathes.

  It’s not a protest. It’s not an encouragement. I know the limits; she trusts me to stick to them. It’s only my name languidly rolling off her tongue, drawn out by her accent, making it fuller than it is.

  I spread my palm over her naked side, cupping her hip. Sliding into the curve below her ribs. That’s where I stop. That’s where the line has been drawn. Where the tattoo scrawls across her skin in words I can’t see, I can’t read, but I heed them and their hidden meaning. I keep my distance because they ask me to. Because Liv needs me to.

  “How did you choose what it says?” I whisper.

  “I found a phrase I liked. That’s all.”

  “What’d you like about it?”

  “I can’t tell you what it says,” she reminds me.

  “I’m not asking you to.”

  “I can’t tell you why I liked it without telling you what it says.”

  I flex my hand on her side, wishing I could feel the words, but I can’t. Her skin is perfectly smooth and warm. “Do you still like it?”
r />   “I do, yes.”

  “How long is it?”

  “Grayson,” she chuckles, turning onto her back. My hand slips off her side, out of her shirt. “You can’t ask me about it.”

  “I’m not asking you to tell me what it says. I’m asking what it’s like.”

  “Why do you want to know?”

  I scoot closer to her, draping my arm over her stomach. “I’m curious.”

  She sighs lightly. “Fine. What if I told you some of the other phrases that were options? Will you drop it then?”

  “I promise.”

  “Okay.” She pauses thoughtfully, trying to remember. “’Under a glorious, golden sun‘.”

  “That’s it?”

  “That’s it,” she answers lightly.

  “So a man’s tattoo would say something like, ‘we fell in love’?”

  “Probably not. More likely it would say, ‘seas glisten like diamonds’ or ‘trees grow monstrous high’. They’re kind of like haikus. And they’d only match up like that if the two people both chose nature as their theme. It’d be another sign they’re compatible because they have the same interests.”

  “There are other themes?”

  “A couple. History. Music. Literature. Some are quotes from songs or speeches. Poetry. Classic novels.”

  “But you chose nature?”

  She hesitates, her body tensing under my arm. “I didn’t say that.”

  “You’re such a bad liar,” I chuckle.

  “We’re done talking about this,” she tells me sternly.

  “Liv, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have teased you.”

  “I feel more like you tricked me.”

  I pull her closer. “I didn’t mean to.”

  “It’s important to me, Gray,” she whispers.

  I nod, my forehead bumping against her temple. “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “Why do you want to know about it so much?”

  “Because it’s important to you.”

  She’s silent for a long time. Her hands lay on my arm that’s draped across her; her palms warm, her fingers restless. “Grayson?”

  “Hmm?” I hum drowsily.

  “If… if you were an Eventide, which would you choose? Which theme would you want?”

  “You,” I whisper in her ear, kissing her just below it. “The theme I’d choose is you.”

  She sighs, settling in, getting comfortable as I start to itch. To burn in my back and my bones.

  “What if you were a Gaian?” I whisper nervously.

  “What do you mean? What would I have chosen for a theme if I was a Gaian?”

  “No. I mean what if you were a Gaian? Just that. What if?”

  Her stomach fills sharply under my arm. “What are you asking me, Grayson?”

  I take a breath. I take her hand. I take the plunge, dropping deep into the warm water of the springs. Of this love.

  “I’m asking you to stay. In Gaia. With me.”

  She’s frozen next to me. Unmoving, unbreathing.

  The frost is unending, but the thaw is worth the wait.

  “Yes,” she breathes, laughing as she launches herself at me.

  She straddles my waist, leaning down to kiss me fervently, her long hair hiding us in another cave. Another world where it’s just her and me and the way it feels to love like this; like it’s the last time.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Liv

  I have been summoned.

  It feels very theatrical, but Treasurer Crestin and Captain Fuller insist that the meeting I’m being called to is incredibly important. Both of them have to be there. Gav as well, but as my guard more than anything else. This meeting isn’t about him. It’s about me, and I’m guessing it’s about my mother’s necklace too.

  “Why do they want to give it back to you now?” Gav asks. “Haven’t you told them you’re staying? Wouldn’t they like to hold it hostage a little longer?”

  “They aren’t holding it hostage.”

  “They’re ransoming it for your good behavior.”

  “Stop.”

  “I can’t believe they took it from you,” he grumbles, opening the door to the Administration building for me.

  “They didn’t, not exactly. They took it off Mother before they buried her.”

  He looks at me sharply. “They robbed her?”

  “No,” I assure him steadily. “They didn’t rob her. They locked the necklace up for safe keeping. They said if I didn’t have any debts at the end of my time here that I could have it back.”

  “What debts could you possibly have built that they’d need a Zealand diamond necklace to pay them off?” He looks critically at the building around us. “You could burn this entire city to the ground and they’d still owe you money.”

  “Well, I didn’t, so please don’t say that in front of them.”

  “Are you still going to give yours back to Father?”

  “Yes. That’s the plan.”

  He looks at me sideways. “You don’t have to face him, you know? You could say goodbye to me here at the doors and have that be that. I’ll tell him you’re never coming back. That you’re happy here.”

  “He’d hate that.”

  “Alright, so I’ll tell him you’re dead.”

  I chuckle. “He might enjoy that a little too much.”

  “He doesn’t hate you, Liv,” Gav reminds me calmly. “He just doesn’t know how to love anyone. Ignorance is not the same thing as hate.”

  “They feel pretty similar from here.”

  Gav nods, his eyes tracking a young teacher walking past us in the hall. “So why haven’t you told anyone you’re staying?”

  “Because I’m not sure that I actually can stay,” I answer in a hushed tone. “Grayson and I have an appointment with Mayor Gustafson next week to sit down and discuss it with him. I don’t want to say anything to anyone until we know for sure it’s happening.” Running my tongue over my teeth, I look at him sideways. “You support me, right? You’re not angry at me for wanting to stay?”

  Gav’s face fades, turning darkly serious. “If you go back, Father will put you in Mother’s place at his side. He’ll marry you to some other Councilman’s son, and then what?”

  “I’d have children,” I answer Gav quietly. “I’d grow old with my husband. I’d die an old woman in my bed.”

  “You’d die long before you grew old. We both know that. I might not find you on the front of a ship again because you’re stronger now than you were before, but you’d be dying inside. And one day it’d just happen. Out of the blue you’d wake up and you wouldn’t be you anymore. You’d get buried under dresses and diamonds until you’re as dead as Mother.”

  I feel breathless from his assessment. It’s all so vivid, so real. It’s everything I fear in this world, and he knows it. He saw it happening to me before. I’m weak with relief that he knows I can’t survive it a second time. Whether I have Grayson or not, Gav knows I can’t go back.

  We reach Crestin’s door, both of us noticeably somber.

  “Do you want me to go in with you?” Gav asks.

  I smile at him gratefully. “No. This I can do on my own.”

  I push open the door, stepping over the threshold.

  “Check to make sure they didn’t replace the stones with glass,” he whispers after me.

  I choose to ignore him.

  “Liv,” Crestin greets me in her clipped tone, offset by an inviting smile. “It’s good to see you. How are you, dear?”

  “I’m well. How are you?”

  “Always impressed with your manners. You’ve no idea what a rarity that’s become.”

  “I had them drilled into me at a young age.”

  “More parents should own drills.” She claps her hands together, her smile growing. “Well, I think it’s time to get into your ledger. We only have, what? Two more months?”

  “Give or take.”

  “We just have to wait for—oh, here he is. Perfect timing, Captain.”
/>
  Captain Fuller is coming in the doorway behind me, his body rigid straight. He looks at me only briefly before his eyes dart away.

  “Ms. Pamuk,” he greets me stiffly.

  “Captain Fuller.”

  He comes to stand next to me, carefully putting a good three feet of distance between us. It’s an impressive achievement in this office barely eight feet wide. Crestin stands with her back to us, her focus on the large safe set into the lavender colored wall behind her desk. Once it’s open she pulls out a dark ledger and a small black bag.

  “Are we ready?” she asks us.

  Fuller and I both nod our heads.

  She sets the items down on the desk, flipping the ledger open. “Well, it’s as I thought,” she whispers to herself. “You, Livandra, are all squared up. No debts to be settled. Whatever extra money you’ve earned while you’ve been here and this,” she hands me the black bag, “are yours to keep.”

  I open the bag slowly, shaking the contents into my hand. It’s my mother’s necklace, identical to mine. Seven flawless Zealand diamonds set in heavy silver chains. In pretty, sparkling shackles.

  There’s nothing of my mother in this, just as there’s nothing of me in mine. They’re stones, expensive but interchangeable. They don’t have my mother’s eyes or her laugh. Her small hands. Her nervous nature. They’re cold and empty. Worthless.

  “I’ll sign here on the ledger,” Crestin continues, scribbling across the page. “Liv, if you can do the same and Captain Fuller will sign here as our witness.”

  I take the pen, the necklace dangling from my fingers. I sign on the line, handing the pen off to Fuller. When he’s done he hands it back to Crestin before nodding to us both.

  “Ladies,” he says by way of goodbye.

  “Wait.”

  He pauses, turning to face me with a frown.

  “We have one more thing to sign,” I tell him.