Interior Motives

by Ginny Aiken

  “Wanna share?”

  She laughed. “Okay. While protecting the names of the innocent, I will confess it took me years to get where I am today. I’ve had two serious dating relationships since the attack. One came very, very close to the altar. But in the end neither worked out.”

  “Because of you?”

  Tedd picked up a vintage tapestry throw pillow and hugged it close “No. And not because of the guys either. There was love and companionship and passion, but either the timing was wrong, or the place didn’t work, or the faith wasn’t where it had to be for one or the other of us. Like I said, neither was right.”

  The question that burned in my heart was the hardest to ask. But I really had to know. “Did you worry all the time that they might . . . that they might turn and—”

  “I understand. And no. Well, at first, when I didn’t know either one very well, I’d get the occasional pang of fear, but I made myself keep my eyes on the cross. That’s where I had to drop the past, the fear—everything—and not pick it up again.”

  “That’s the hardest part.”

  “I won’t argue there.”

  We both fell silent, each of us dealing with memories of horrible times and our trips back.

  “So what are you going to do?” Tedd asked.

  I took a deep breath. “I’m going to go.”

  “Good for you! I’ll be praying for you.”

  “And I’m going to hold you to that promise, shrink lady.”

  “That’s fine. You do that. And remember to enjoy yourself.” “You don’t ask much, do you?”

  She laughed again. “Make up your mind, will you? First you say I ask too many questions, and now you say I don’t ask much. What’s it going to be?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Ever try to have fun with a six-foot-plus evil shadow hanging around?”

  “Do tell.”

  My rocking picked up speed. “You should’ve heard Dutch. He showed up at the all-you-can-eat place and plunked down at my side. He called me a snoop and accused me of sending Bella and Cissy to do my, as he called it, dirty work. He meant detecting.”

  “I think he might have a teeny, tiny point somewhere in all that, Haley. Your curiosity is way too overdeveloped. It has landed you in trouble a time or two. It’s what gave Bella the final push to get her PI license.”

  “That curiosity also solved two murders before innocent people—me included—were locked up for good.”

  “I grant you that, but your curiosity goes wild and lands you at the wrong place at the wrong time. That only serves to make matters worse for you.”

  “True, but my curiosity redeemed itself. It landed the killers where they belong: in jail.”

  “Is that what you’re after here? Do you think someone killed Darlene Weikert and you need to bring them to justice?”

  “Someone has to. You have to admit, too many scum are out there free to roam the earth.”

  “Is it your job to nab them?”

  I shrugged and watched my grumpy dog collapse on the hooked floral rug in front of the fireplace.

  Tedd didn’t speak right away. Then, “Or is it a case of locking up those you can since the one who hurt you got away?”

  I winced. She was right. The man who raped me got off with the equivalent of a slap on the hand. I can’t stand to see anyone victimized; I know too well how it feels. And there is no greater victimization than murder.

  “What can I say? I don’t think Darlene’s cancer caused her death. Yes, it would’ve killed her sooner or later, but someone wanted her gone bad enough to hurry things up. I want to know who and why. She was a really neat lady—you should know. Her sons took advantage of her all the time, but she loved them enough to help them over and over again. And the way she cared for Jacob . . . it couldn’t have been easy. She had more patience than I’ll ever have.”

  “I’m impressed. You saw her only once, and you have Darlene Weikert pegged to a T. How’d you do it?”

  “Come on, Tedd. It doesn’t take a genius to see character like hers.”

  “And you’re offended by her potential murder.”

  “Everyone should be offended by murder.”

  “But not everyone chases killers.”

  “Not everyone’s been raped.”

  She stiffened. “Wow.”

  “Sorry. That was kind of a dig, but it’s how I feel.”

  “And it’s what makes you tick these days, isn’t it?”

  “Not by itself. Faith and love have a lot to do with my get-up-and-go. I have faith in the Lord’s love and his promise to heal. And I love Dad. I couldn’t just shrivel up and die on him.”

  “Just as you can’t let Lila and her officers do their jobs.”

  “If they did them, I’d feel differently.”

  “And have you told Dutch about all of this? What happened to you and how it made you the kind of person you are? He can’t get into your head, you know.”

  I flinched. “That’s a low blow, Tedd.” The rocker could’ve won the Indy 500 at the speed I cranked it to. “Of course I haven’t told Dutch any of this. I don’t think I’ve ever put it into words before. Besides, what does Dutch have to do with anything?”

  “My question was to make you think, not to have you answer. But since you did, I have to remind you that not so long ago you didn’t want Dutch to be less than you hoped he was. I don’t think you’re as immune to him as you’d like.”

  I sputtered.

  I shook my head.

  I stood and went to the door. “It’s late. I’m sure you’re tired and want to get going—”

  “Don’t run away. And I don’t mean from home. You know your feelings for Dutch push you out of your comfort zone. I knew sooner or later you’d panic at the thought of a date, but I always thought Dutch would be the guy.”

  I walked back to the rocker. “Why would you want me to date a man who thinks I’m so rotten?”

  “I didn’t say I wanted you to date him. I think you want to date him—but you can’t admit it. Even to yourself.”

  Did I tell her now that I’d accepted the attraction I felt for him a while back? And that she was dead-on right?

  Nah.

  My soul had dropped its drawers long enough for one night. “Well, for what it’s worth, I’m not going out with Dutch, and I’m not crazy about him right about now.”

  She chuckled. “Okay. I’ll let you get away with it tonight. But you’re going to have to face your feelings sooner or later. Just remember that Chris is a decent guy, and he doesn’t deserve to be stuck in the hot seat between you and Dutch.”

  “Weren’t we talking about the Weikerts?”

  “Tell me about the Weikerts.”

  “I think the sons did it. But I have to prove Darlene died of something besides cancer. And since nothing else came up in the coroner’s report, and no one bothered to run a toxicology screen, I have to find a way to get them to do it.”

  “You don’t take on small challenges, do you?”

  “If it’s worth doing at all, then it’s worth doing it all. And this time it’s worth doing the complete autopsy, soup to nuts.” I caught myself. “Yuck! That was ghoulish. Sorry. But you get what I mean. And it’s a good thing Darlene’s sons have dragged their feet on the funeral and she’s not been buried yet. It’d be harder to get where we need to go if we had to exhume her body.”

  Tedd stood, picked up her cordovan leather briefcase, and went to the door. “I have to wonder if you didn’t major in the wrong field.”

  “Whoa! Dad said the same thing.”

  “Maybe we’re onto something.”

  “But you guys think Bella and her PI license are a crazy joke. I don’t want to be lumped in with a nut like her.”

  “Why not? You’re an awful lot alike.”

  “Hey! I’m all about the victim, and Bella’s all about the boredom. She needs to get a life beyond those two maniacal cats.”

  “What if you turn matchmaker? Find her a romance, and may
be she’ll settle down.”

  “Bella? A romance?” I couldn’t see it. “Not in this lifetime.” She opened the door. “Keep it in mind. Love can make people do all kinds of uncharacteristic things.”

  “Sounds like you speak from experience.”

  She winked. “I told you I struck out twice, didn’t I? Now let me head on out. I didn’t spend the day chatting up two elderly ladies and fending off good-looking males. I’m tired.”

  I groaned. “Don’t remind me. I have paperwork up to my eyeballs, and I don’t know when I’ll get to it. I have this big job for this very picky shrink here in town. Her dumpy office needs a makeover in the worst way.”

  She laughed all the way to her car. I closed the door and leaned back against it. Dad was at a meeting. Midas was asleep. Tedd was gone.

  It was just me and my thoughts, thoughts Tedd’s questions had raked up. The questions didn’t bother me. Not so much.

  But the answers?

  Those scared my mouth cotton dry.

  The next morning I came too close for comfort to being late for the worship service. I blamed it all on Tedd. Questions and answers had buzzed in my head the whole night long.

  I plopped into the aisle seat in the last pew and only then noticed my pew mate.

  “What’s the deal, Haley girl? Where you been? You’re usually here before everyone but your daddy.”

  The first notes to “How Great Thou Art” filled the sanctuary. “Bad night,” I whispered.

  Bella’s blue eyes showed her concern. “I’ll pray for you, honey. And I’m glad you’re here now.”

  No matter how nutty she might be, Bella is still one of my favorite people in the world. I tipped my head sideways and laid it on her shoulder for a fraction of a heartbeat.

  “I love you too,” she murmured.

  Then we both joined the congregation’s song of praise. Little by little my nerves began to uncoil. I sat back to wait for Dad’s sermon. And I waited. As did the congregation. The seconds morphed into minutes, and I tensed up again. If Bella had been worried by my lateness, I could just imagine what Dad’s would do to her.

  Finally he came across the chancel to the pulpit, his gait uneven, a hand at his waist. Had he fallen and hurt himself? What had he been doing while I fought my battle with the bedsheets?

  Guilt struck, even though I knew accidents happen all the time. I caught my bottom lip between my teeth, asked forgiveness, and prayed for Dad.

  He started his sermon and before long stepped out from behind the pulpit. He never can stay put while he delivers the message and always walks back and forth before the altar table.

  But no sooner did he take three steps than he backed up, his hand again at his waist. At the pulpit, he stared down where he always puts his notes, but he didn’t continue with the message. His frown deepened. He seemed to struggle, to try to find the right words.

  What was wrong?

  Had he left his notes at home?

  He rarely relies on them. I can’t remember the last time he needed a prompt, but he always brings them just in case. Today I couldn’t figure out what was going on. And it worried me.

  I prayed harder.

  Dad spoke again but didn’t quite pick up where he’d left off, and he hesitated every so many phrases. It didn’t go unnoticed in the pews. A few people traded glances. Some shrugged. Others seemed oblivious. One older gentleman, who shall remain nameless, let out a snore.

  Then Dad began to pace again. And again, after he took a couple of steps, he grabbed at his waist and hurried to the shelter of the pulpit. It took him a bit longer to fumble his way back into his sermon. My concern continued to grow.

  I prayed even more.

  I watched the same pattern repeat itself over and over until he wrapped it all up. He gave the final blessing, nodded to the choir, and grabbed the sides of the pulpit instead of coming down the aisle to stand and greet the worshipers at the church’s front door—what he always does.

  When I went to leave the pew, Bella caught my hand.

  “Wait,” she whispered. “Let them go. You don’t want to scare anyone any more than they already are.”

  Nothing much got past Bella. “You’re right. Dad wouldn’t want me to make a fuss.” I stared at my father, but he didn’t move a muscle. “What do you think is going on?”

  “Beats me, Haley girl. But we’re going to figure it out as soon as this place empties.”

  Most of the congregants left, their plans for the afternoon set. A few, mostly church board members, lingered at the door. Bella elbowed me, then jerked her head in their direction.

  I smiled, nodded, and waved. After a couple more nods and waves, they left too. That’s when Bella and I rushed forward.

  “Dad!”

  “Hale, what’s up? What’d you think you were doing up here?”

  Our questions seemed to startle Dad. He narrowed his gaze, glanced down at the pulpit, shook his head, then turned to me. “Haley?”

  “Yes, Dad. Of course, it’s me. What’s wrong? Do you feel sick?”

  He patted himself, his chest, his front pockets, the back ones as well, then shook his head. “No, I don’t think so.”

  “Then what’s going on?”

  “I can’t remember . . .” He grabbed for his waist again. “Haley? Where’s my belt?”

  “Do you mean to tell me you aren’t wearing one? That’s what all the weird stuff up here was about? Your pants falling down?”

  “That’s it. But I know I took the belt off the hook on the closet door. I thought I put it on . . .”

  A quick check under his jacket showed me empty belt loops on his pants. “What about your notes? It seemed to me you didn’t have them.”

  Bella weighed in. “I figure he forgot the belt, forgot the notes, and almost lost his pants. What a morning, Pastor Hale!”

  She got a smile out of him. I let out my breath.

  Then he said, “I don’t have my notes. I know I wrote them, but . . . I don’t have them now.”

  The absentmindedness was growing worse by the day. “Okay, Dad. Let’s go home and find your stuff.”

  When we got to the manse, the belt and the notes were spread out on his bed, where he’d probably put them when he started to dress.

  Maybe it was time for a checkup. I had to make sure to set up an appointment for him with Dr. Cowan. I’d call first thing Monday morning.

  Today, however, I too had plans. I was going to the Weik-ert home. I had questions for Jacob.

  I prayed he’d be lucid enough to understand.

  I got to the Weikerts’ at the same time Cissy did. “Hi there!”

  “Haley! I didn’t expect to find you here.”

  “After our conversation yesterday, I knew I had to do something. I’ve thought from the start that there’s more to Darlene’s death than her disease. I just have to find a way to prove it.”

  “Prove it? Isn’t that a job for the police?”

  “It should be.” I spread my arms and turned 360 degrees. “What do you see them doing?”

  She made a face. “There’s just the two of us here.”

  “And Jacob inside.”

  “There’s the new nurse Tommy and Larry hired. They didn’t want me near Jacob. They had the gall to say I would kill him to get my hands on the rest of Darlene’s money.” I turned to the house. I didn’t want her to see me blush. I’d thought so too. But now I was pretty sure Jacob had always been safe in Cissy’s care. I didn’t know if I could say the same about the new nurse.

  “It can’t hurt to visit Jacob, can it?”

  “What a splendid idea! We really should see how my replacement is doing.”

  A burly middle-aged man opened the door when we rang. “Yes?”

  “Hi!” I nearly choked at my perkiness. “We’re friends of the family and stopped by to see how Jacob is today.”

  The man’s heavy brow furrowed. “He’s the same as always. Why wouldn’t he be?”

  “Oh, that’s not
what I meant. We’d like to visit awhile.” “He’s not well enough for that. He’s too confused.”

  “We know.” Cissy extended her right hand. “I’m Cecelia Sparks, longtime friend. And you’re . . . ?”

  Sparks? What was that about?

  He shook her hand. “Dave Williams, Jacob’s new nurse. I just started this week.”

  Cissy smiled. “I’m so glad to see he has someone to lean on. His disease is so devastating.”

  They discussed the horrors of Alzheimer’s for a few minutes, then Cissy brought the conversation back to Jacob and our hoped-for visit.

  “We care for him,” she said, her voice warm and sincere. “That doesn’t change just because he’s sick. And we won’t stay long. Just enough to say hello, maybe play a game of checkers or two. He loves checkers.”

  We must not have looked like mass murderers or terrorists, and the Brothers Brat must not have provided Dave with a picture of their dreaded Cissy, because he led us inside. Jacob sat in the faded parlor, the antique French bergère chair dwarfed by his bulk.

  “Jacob!” Cissy said, her voice cheerful and a touch loud. “How are you?”

  He turned toward us, a vacant look on his face.

  She pulled a matching chair to his side, sat, and leaned close. “It’s Cissy. Want to play checkers?”

  “Checkers?”

  “Oh my, yes! You love checkers.”

  “I do?”

  “Mm-hmm. You always beat me too.”

  A trace of a smile curved his lips. “And Dari?”

  Cissy breathed in hard. “Oh dear. No, Dari won’t be playing with us today. But this is my friend Haley. She wants to play. Will you let her join us?”

  “Haley?”

  That was my cue. “Hi, Jacob. We met before. On your beautiful front porch.”

  “Teddie?”

  Cissy smiled. “Good, Jacob! You remembered Tedd. Haley knows her too. Now let’s play.”

  Cissy pulled out a checkerboard and wooden pieces from the bottom drawer of a chest by the window. She spread the game out on the coffee table, and we started to play. Jacob moved pieces at Cissy’s direction but didn’t remember what he’d done only seconds later.

  Every so often he looked up at me. “Dari?”

  Cissy answered that his wife wasn’t home, that I’d come to see him. And we played on. Finally, when my heart was about to break at the sight of a grown man trapped in his still vigorous body by his ravaged mind, I turned to Cissy.