The Heart Knows What the Heart Wants

by Lori L. Clark

  Shane grasped Star's hand and shook it. "Star?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow at her. His fingers were long, and his hand was calloused. His eyes were intense. Were they green? Or maybe blue? The way they locked with hers made her feel exposed and vulnerable, as though he were able to peer into the deepest recesses of her soul. He whispered, "Beautiful."

  Star's cheeks flamed, and she averted her eyes. "Thank you." She tried to pull her hand free from his grasp, but he held her firmly.

  He narrowed his eyes and drew their intertwined fingers closer to his face to get a better look at her tattoo. A slow, sensuous smile played upon his lips. "Neptune?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

  She nodded, her eyes drifted up, and locked on his full, kissable lips. She shook her head to dislodge her errant thoughts of devouring his mouth with hers. This guy was clearly too young for her, and she needed to rein in her desire right away. She found it intriguing that he had correctly identified her tattoo -- instead of assuming it was just some random blue circle.

  He dropped her hand and studied her face for a few seconds before he turned to take his place behind the counter. Someone cleared their throat behind her and Star realized she'd zoned everything out to stare at Mr. Tall, Blonde, and Gorgeous.

  Sheriff Caldwell waited for her and Neona, and held the front door for them as they dashed through the rain out to his car. Star's eyes widened when they pulled into the driveway of a powder-blue Victorian house with a wraparound porch. She smiled when she saw her bags tucked out of the rain beside the front door. Across the street, her Honda sat in the alley beside Galen's Garage.

  "Thank you for everything, Sheriff Caldwell," Star told him.

  "You don't need to thank me." He smiled and bent to retrieve her things. "Feel free to call me Michael, by the way."

  Neona pushed open the solid oak front door. As she did, a small, black streak darted between them and headed toward the front lawn. Star sucked in a startled breath. "What the hell was that?" she asked.

  Neona laughed. "That's my vicious, man-eating watchdog, Chili Dog."

  "Should I fear for my life?" Star teased.

  "Only if you plan on trying to eat in front of him without sharing," Neona replied. "Come on, Chili Dog, let's go!" The Min Pin regarded the woman with mild interest. "Let's go, Chili, you want a cookie?"

  He made a beeline for the open front door and danced around on his hind legs, impatient for her to make good on her promise.

  "Michael, put Star's things upstairs in the room at the end of the hallway," she said to him. He nodded and climbed the massive open staircase toward the second floor and Star followed him up so she could get settled in.

  ***

  After the dinner dishes had been cleared away, and Michael had gone home for the night, Star and Neona sat in front of the fireplace chatting about nothing in particular. Star was grateful for the distraction, and she sensed that Neona enjoyed having someone other than Chili Dog to talk to.

  Star got up and poked at the fire for something to do. Although Neona hadn't pried, Star figured the conversation was bound to eventually lead down a path she wasn't ready to tread. Instead of talking about herself, she asked about Shane.

  "Shane's your nephew?" she asked.

  Neona pulled in a deep breath and exhaled noisily. "That he is," she said.

  Star didn't ask any more questions about the young man, even though she was curious to learn more of his story. She replaced the screen in front of the crackling fire and sat on the sofa, curling her legs beneath her.

  Neona sipped on her coffee, and Star watched the flames leap and dance hypnotically while they sat in companionable quiet. Finally, it was Neona who broke the silence. "Shane's father, Austin, is my only brother. A wayward soul who never quite fit in anywhere. Austin wasn't around much for Shane. He pretty much disappeared when Shane was just a baby. But that's a story for another day." Neona pushed to her feet. "Shane's had to deal with a lot of heavy issues his whole life, however, these past three years have been particularly rough for him. Some of it couldn't be helped, while some of it was the direct result of the poor decisions he made and the crowd he got mixed up with."

  Star nodded. She understood "having to deal" very well.

  Neona smiled a sad, weary smile. "I'm going to take Chili Dog out, and then I'm going to turn in for the night. Sleep tight. I'll see you in the morning. Breakfast is at nine."

  "Goodnight and thank you, Neona. For everything," she said quietly. Star blinked a few times to keep the overwhelming tides of emotional exhaustion from dragging her under.

  "I have a feeling it's me who will be thanking you before it's all said and done," she said and winked. She headed toward the front of the house with Chili Dog bouncing at her heels, while Star silently digested her information about Shane.

  As Star crawled beneath the covers, her thoughts drifted to the blonde haired young man. He was a far cry from the typical guy she went for. She doubted there was a hair-trigger temper, or a love of beating women lurking beneath the wholesome, good boy exterior he projected.

  She was too old to entertain such thoughts about a young man who had his whole life in front of him. The last thing he needed was someone like her screwing up his life.

  Chapter Seven

  Long after the unfamiliar woman with the curious tattoo left the store with his aunt, Shane's thoughts persistently wandered back to her. He couldn't quite shake how vulnerable her big brown eyes made her seem -- like a scared little rabbit, ready to bolt for cover at any moment. He had picked up on her anxiety from the slight tremble of her hand when he'd held it, and wondered what had happened in her past to make her so timid. Maybe, like him, she had lost her self-purpose and sense of direction.

  The male part of him appreciated the way she wore her jeans, how they molded to every inch of her long slender legs. He hadn't been disappointed as his eyes skimmed up from her boot-clad feet to the top of her head. He liked how the errant wisps of her wavy, dark hair curled around her ears. He toyed with the image of running his hands through that wild mane in the throes of passion.

  Shane sighed and shook his head. Get a grip on yourself dude.

  The night was dragging by slowly. It was important for him to stay busy, or he'd drive himself crazy thinking about Star. He grabbed a bottle of glass cleaner from the shelf beneath the cash register and went over to rid the cooler doors of stray fingerprints. As soon he finished cleaning the glass, he stepped out into the cold night to get some fresh air.

  He leaned against the brick building and stared up at the starry sky. The rain had stopped, and the stars twinkled brilliantly. Living away from the city lights made them appear closer somehow. He never grew tired of studying the nighttime sky. The stars and planets with all of their celestial mysteries, had fascinated him since he was a little boy peering wide-eyed through his first telescope.

  Shane's attention was diverted from the starry canvas as headlights veered off the highway and into the parking lot. He groaned inwardly as the bright yellow Ford Mustang sped toward him. It was a dangerous game of chicken she liked to play, how close could she get to her target before he lost his nerve and dove out of the way versus hitting her brakes.

  "So much power! I can be at a dead stop one minute, and with the press of the gas pedal, fly like a bat out of hell the next. All within seconds. The adrenaline rush is a natural high!" she had told him.

  If it were such a natural high, why did she constantly feel the need to seek out all the unnatural highs? As soon as she skidded to a stop in front of him and hopped from the driver's seat, one look into her glassy, pupil prominent eyes, confirmed tonight was no different from the countless other times she'd been stoned -- or whatever -- out of her mind.

  Kelsey squealed and ran toward him. She wrapped her skinny arms around his neck and crashed her mouth against his. He peeled her hands off and gently nudged her away from him. He winced at the smell of whiskey on her breath.

  Her bottom lip jutted out, an
d she whined, "I've missed you, Shane."

  He wrinkled his nose in distaste. There was a time he would have led her into the back room and fucked her hard up against the wall. His traitorous dick twitched in his pants, making him shift uncomfortably.

  He'd never be able to get back that part of his life, the huge block of time he'd lost. He wasn't sure how he'd gone from a promising young basketball star with his whole life ahead of him to detoxing in rehab a short time later. Those days of drinking, snorting, smoking, and sex for sport, were a part of the past he intended to leave buried where they belonged.

  "Kelsey, you don't miss me, you miss the time we spent together in a drug-induced fog," Shane reminded her.

  "Not true. I still spend my time in that so-called 'drug-induced fog,'" she made air quotes with her fingers and raised her eyebrows suggestively at him. "I miss the other stuff that went with it."

  He shook his head and went inside. After rehab, his sponsor, Tommy, had cautioned him that there would be many temptations along his path to sobriety, and he'd have to face them one by one. Tommy had said, "The hardest thing won't be stopping the drugs or drinking booze, it'll be disassociating yourself from the way they made you feel and the people you hung out with. Those are the addictions that will either break you or make you stronger in the end. Oh and FYI, pussy is the most dangerous drug of them all, Shane. Because let's face it, even the worse piece of ass you ever had was still damn good."

  "Earth to Shane?" Kelsey poked him in the chest with a blood red fingernail before brazenly reaching down to stroke his crotch through his jeans.

  Disgusted, Shane pushed her away from him. "Knock it off, Kelsey, somebody might come in."

  She tipped her head back and laughed. "That never fucking stopped you before." She reached for him again, but his hand darted out and grabbed her wrist, angrily flinging it away. Her eyes narrowed and flashed with rage. "Fine. Be that way. Where do you get off thinking you're too fucking good for me now that you're all clean and sober?" she spat. She spun on her heels and stormed out the door.

  She had no business being behind the wheel of a car, but he made no move to stop her. He sucked in a deep breath and slid down against the counter until his butt connected with the scuffed tiles of the floor. He grabbed clumps of his hair and stared up at the ceiling. Kelsey was bad news, but that didn't stop him from craving the feel of her tight little body wrapped around him, or any of the other sensory pleasures from his past.

  The rest of his shift slowed to a crawl, and he was never so happy in his life to see the minute hand finally hit midnight. He turned off the outside signs and then did his nightly ritual of making sure everything was clean and ready for Ami in the morning. He stowed the money from the cash register into the hidden safe, locked it, and dropped the key into his jean pocket.

  As an afterthought, he pulled a bottle of Mountain Dew from the cooler and tucked two bucks into the empty cash register. Shane was no thief, and he'd never take advantage of his aunt, not after everything she'd done for him.

  He locked the front doors and made his way around to the wooden stairs at the side of the building that led up to his apartment. Once inside, he pre-heated the oven for a frozen cheese pizza and twisted off the lid of his soda, taking a big gulp.

  While waiting for the oven to heat up, he strode across the floor toward the back window. Shane had constructed a narrow deck outside that was large enough for him to sit comfortably with his telescope. It's where he found his inner peace, studying the ever-changing patterns in the nighttime sky.

  When the weather was warm, he sat outside nearly every night memorizing the constellations, often losing track of time. It helped him to focus his thoughts on something he enjoyed doing that wasn't illegal, immoral, or just plain bad for him. Sometimes, he'd doze off, only to wake later to find that the night's sky had disappeared, making way for dawn's arrival. He'd crawl back through the window and collapse into a restful sleep.

  Tonight, Shane opened the window and pushed his telescope out onto the wooden platform ahead of him. With a twist of his expertly trained fingers, he made a few adjustments and was immediately rewarded when he peered through the eyepiece by the view of Uranus.

  After a few minutes of stargazing, he ducked back through the window and put the pizza in the oven. He set the timer on his watch and went back outside. He hoped to get a glimpse of the comet that scientific communities everywhere had been discussing for months. News, online forums, and blogs speculated whether or not the comet's close encounter with the sun this week would obliterate it.

  He never saw the comet, but he did make a wish on a shooting star. He didn't believe in stuff like that, but figured it never hurt to have luck on his side, just in case.

  Chapter Eight

  Star couldn't remember the last time she'd slept so peacefully. She sighed contentedly and kicked free of the tangled covers. She pulled on her ratty old robe and made her way down the hall to the bathroom so she could take a shower before going downstairs.

  She stood in the tiny, steam-filled room and wiped the fog from the mirror. She took a long, hard look at herself in the reflection and frowned at her appearance. She ran the pad of her thumb over the dark circles beneath her eyes. "Let's face it, you look like hell," she mumbled to herself.

  Donning a clean pair of jeans and a well-worn, gray sweatshirt, she headed downstairs to the kitchen to join Neona for breakfast. As soon as her foot hit the landing, she heard voices coming from the kitchen. She hadn't counted on anyone else joining them, and she especially didn't expect to see Shane as she rounded the corner.

  Star combed her fingers through her still damp, wavy locks and wished she had taken more time with her appearance when Shane peered at her from over the top of his coffee mug. For some reason, he caused her to become uncharacteristically self-conscious -- no makeup and hair that made her look like Medusa...Way to make a lasting impression on the hot guy.

  "Help yourself to the coffee, that is if the freeloader hasn't drained the pot already," Neona offered. She winked at Star to let her know she was only trying to get a rise out of Shane.

  "Freeloader? After all I do for you, and that's the thanks I get?" he complained.

  "Relax, kid, I'm just messing with you." Neona grinned at him and roughed up his hair. "You might want to think about having Ami fit you in for a haircut before you come into work tonight."

  Shane scowled and shook his head. "Not feeling it, Aunt Neona."

  Their banter was amusing, and Star felt the warm, loving energy flowing between the two of them. She bit her lip to keep from grinning like a fool and poured herself a cup of coffee. She treated herself to a glazed donut from the tray of assorted pastries before taking a seat across the table from Shane.

  Neona pulled out a chair and joined the two of them. "So, what are your plans today?" she addressed Star.

  "I want to check with the garage to see if he's had a chance to look at my car, to find out where things are with that. I guess it really depends on his answer as to what the rest of my day will be like," Star admitted. "I'll probably need the room another night."

  Shane spit out the big gulp of coffee in his mouth. "Pfft. Don't plan on going anywhere before January if you're waiting for Hank to get your car fixed."

  Star's eyebrows squished together, and she asked, "What's that supposed to mean?"

  Shane shook his head and pushed away from the table to grab some napkins to sop up the coffee. "Hank Galen is a lot of things, but speedy isn't one of them."

  Star looked to Neona for confirmation and determined from the expression on her face that Shane was, unfortunately, not exaggerating. "Well, I don't suppose I have much of a choice, really," she said, sighing.

  "Who knows? It might be something simple, and he could have it done by the end of the day," Neona said. Shane popped his mouth open to add another snide comment, but snapped it shut when Neona glared at him from across the table. "Either way, you're welcome to stay here as long as you need. Thoug
h I suppose with Thanksgiving coming, your family in Iowa will be expecting you."

  Star didn't want to admit that no one in Iowa even knew she was coming. She doubted they'd care very much, even if they did. "It was a spur of the moment visit, really," she said quietly.

  "Good morning," Michael said as he strolled into the room.

  Star jolted from her chair at the sound of his voice. She hadn't heard him come in, and his sudden appearance startled her. Her hand flew to her chest, "Saturn, Pluto, and Mars, you nearly scared me to death," she said.

  "I'm sorry, Estelle, I thought you knew I was here," Michael apologized.

  Neona and Shane exchanged a curious glance. She slowly shook her head from side to side. "That's okay, Sheriff."

  "Michael, please," he reminded her.

  "I'll make you a deal: you call me Star, and I'll call you Michael, okay?" She gave him an easy smile and sat back down. That's when she noticed Shane's eyes boring into her. She frowned at him and mouthed, "What?"

  "Saturn, Pluto, and Mars?" he asked.

  She nodded. "Haven't you ever heard someone shout 'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph'?" she asked him. When he gave her a bewildered look, she sighed. "No, I don't suppose you have. It's something my granny used to say whenever she was startled, mad, or disgusted. Beings I'm not a 'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph' type of woman, I made up my own version."

  "Okaaaay," Shane said. He leaned back and clasped his hands behind his head, observing her with new interest. He wanted to know her, but wasn't sure it would be easy or even if he should try -- a woman like Star was way out of his league these days. Compared to some of the other girls he knew, she came across as actually possessing brains and beauty. "But why those three?"

  A slight smile caused the corners of her eyes to crinkle. She shrugged her shoulders and said, "Because it sounds better than Mercury, Venus, and Uranus?"

  "Uranus?" Shane burst into spontaneous laughter. "I'm not even going to touch that one."

  Star's eyes twinkled mischievously. "Good idea. You might get slapped."