Waving off his question, she returned to the table but didn’t sit down. “No, I was finished.” She met Donnie’s gaze and tried to smile. “You guys iron everything out?”
“Not everything, just the basics. Are you okay?” Blaine asked.
She nodded. “Yeah, I’m good.”
Abe and Adam stood. “Thanks for lunch, Mr. O’Connor,” Abe said, looking at a point above Donnie’s head.
Donnie stood. Abe leaned back a bit so he could look up. “You’re welcome, Abe… and Adam.”
“Yeah, uh thanks for lunch,” Adam said softly, looking everywhere but at Blaine, who had stood as well.
“Lindy, can I speak with you?” Blaine asked as he stepped closer.
Donnie remained where he stood.
“Sure.” She looked at her sons, who stood silently next to their fathers. “Go ahead to the car, boys. I’ll be out in a few.”
Abe nodded and moved slower than she had seen him move in a while. Adam lingered a bit before catching up with his brother.
“You’ve done an amazing job with them. I know you've had some rough moments, but you are a phenomenal woman and I want to thank you for raising our sons. If I had to choose one woman in the world to have my kids, it would’ve been you. Thank you,” Blaine said softly as he moved closer and brushed his lips across hers.
A shaft of lust shot through her as the warmth of his breath caressed her cheek. The hairs from his short cropped beard tickled her skin. Every fiber of her being responded to his nearness, his touch. Mouth dry, she nodded. Heat…almost scalding in its intensity, scorched her back.
Donald’s fingertip slid down the center of her spine so lightly that if not for the fire ricocheting through her, she could have chalked it up to wishful thinking. “Yes, thank you, for the boys… for not… hating us. For allowing us a chance to start a new beginning with them today. I wasn’t sure how today would go, but Abe and Adam are amazing. Smart, witty, and very loyal to you.”
She sensed his movement and tried to prepare herself for his assault on her out-of-control libido. When he brushed the side of his face against hers, it was if her body had just woken up from hibernation and was in a free fall. Heat raced down her spine and settled in her core. Struggling for a breath of non-scented Donnie, she inhaled and picked up Blaine’s scent.
That’s when it hit her.
She was sandwiched between two men, in the restaurant, who were equally lethal to the wall she had built over time. Blaine’s thigh brushed against hers and Donald’s hand rested on her shoulders. She could only imagine how they looked and hoped her sons were in the car. Sliding from between them, she shook off a feeling of loss.
Clearing her throat, she met Blaine’s somber gaze and then Donnie’s. How do you accept thanks from the fathers of your children for taking care of your own children? For being you? Adam and Abe are her babies, how could she not give them her best?
“I don’t hate you…I…” She searched for the right words to use. “Honestly, when I didn’t hear from you, I was devastated. My godmother… let’s just say she allowed me to live with her, but it wasn’t an ideal situation.” She was a religious fanatic who constantly reminded me I had sinned big time and needed to be saved from hell's fire.
“There were times I did hate you…both of you. But it was more… well, because I thought we had something serious and that’s not the way it played out. It never occurred to me your father had interfered or that you came looking for me.” She closed her eyes to shut down the memories of loneliness she’d experienced so many times during her pregnancy. “I just didn’t expect to see you again, so I did what I had to do. We made do…it was hard, especially when I was in college.”
During her second year, Adam had gotten some sort of viral infection and she'd had to drop out of two of her classes because of the amount of days she had missed. Thankfully, the other two were online and she was able to do those while she nursed her sick child. When he was three, Abe was certain he was the son of Superman, with all the abilities of his absent father. She had been summoned from class to the hospital when he broke his arm in an attempt to fly. It had been a long, tedious journey filled with challenges. Attending college, raising two active boys, and helping her ailing godmother had not been easy. But those were the cards she had been dealt and she'd had no choice but to play them.
Donald reached out, squeezed her shoulder gently and brushed a kiss against the top of her head. Everything within her stilled. Eyes widening, she met Blaine’s heated gaze and knew with certainty that these two men were not going anywhere. After all these years they were still interested in her. Closing her eyes, butterflies filled her stomach as she digested that tidbit.
“You were the best thing to ever happen to me, Lindy,” Donald said softly. “If I could turn back the clock, to help you through those lonely days and nights, I would do it in a heartbeat. So many nights I lay awake, angry that you’d left me without a word. My heart was broken and no one has gotten close since. You’re an extraordinary woman.”
Her heart pounded at the husky sincerity in his voice. Opening her eyes, she met Blaine’s and swallowed hard at the determination she read in them.
“I don’t have to tell you how much you meant to me, you know,” Blaine said in that soft deep voice of his. Tingles of awareness raced up and down her spine as their eyes locked. “I never forgot you. It tears me apart knowing you went through your pregnancy with our kids alone. I hate that I missed seeing you swollen with the boys, missed rubbing your feet and back. Missed taking care of you.” He paused and she saw the raw pain in his eyes. For a moment she was tempted to reach out and ease his suffering, but caught herself. Right now, they were parents, nothing more.
“I know we can’t go back and change anything, but we’d like to take care of everything from here out. Whatever is needed, we’ll handle it. Anything you need or want, you have it. We missed out before, but no longer.”
Anything? She wondered what exactly they were offering her. “You don’t have to take care of me,” she said, testing the waters.
“I know,” Donnie said. “But we want to. Anything you want to do, or anyplace you want to go, or live, we’ll take care of it.”
Surprised, she looked at each man, gauging their sincerity and saw the stubborn tilt of their chins. “Look, I believe you. You aren’t responsible for what your dad did.”
“Yes, we are,” Donnie said. “I would never have let you go, Lindy. I missed all these years with you and the boys because of what he did.” He released a sigh. “I swear to you he never told us or gave us any clue that you had called.”
“Which sucks, because he saw how depressed we were when we couldn’t find you,” Blaine said in a tight voice. “You were my world that summer. It happened fast but I’ve never forgotten the times we shared. Knowing that I could have had all these years with you and the boys.” He shook his head. “And the reason I missed all that is because he interfered. There are no words to explain this gut-punched feeling right now. So yeah, we will take care of everything you and our sons need from here out. Whatever that is,” he said in a clipped tone.
Hesitantly she nodded, knowing she would accept on behalf of her sons. If they would simply pay for Adam and Abe’s clothing it would make a tremendous impact on her small budget. “Okay for the boys, they are your responsibility. The rest… well, I have to think about that.”
Donnie nodded as he stepped back.
Blaine took her hand and squeezed it lightly before bringing it to his lips. Looking at the top of his thick mane, she smiled at the familiar gesture he had done each time he took her home from a date.
When he finished, he winked at her and smiled. “We'll walk you to your car.”
Chapter 10
“Honestly Pam, I never thought I'd see either of them ever again.” Belinda paused while pulling her legs beneath her on the soft sofa. She searched her mind trying to put words to the whirlwind of emotions that had been buffeting her since Donnie
and Blaine reappeared. “Seeing them last week after so many years…at first I thought I was dreaming.”
Pam’s hand brushed against hers, comforting her. “No dream, girl. You got two men here who don’t appear to be leaving anytime soon and it sounds like you’re part of the reason. You okay with that?”
Belinda met her friend’s gaze with no real answer to give her. “I don’t know. When we were younger, it seemed right to date both of them. They are so much alike and so different.” She shook her head, not wanting to get too personal. “But they’ve made it very clear they want to renew our relationship.”
Thinking back to the day after the restaurant, she bit her lip to stay rooted in the here and now. Donnie and Blaine had come to the house to pick up the boys to go shopping. They'd worn jeans and t-shirts, nothing flashy. But those jeans hugged the curves of their asses and the t-shirts looked poured onto their muscular chests. More than once, Adam called her name to get her attention to go over his list of things he needed. Every day until today, whenever they came over they were dressed in similar clothes, which never failed to wreak havoc on her libido.
“What people think about your relationship doesn’t matter. What do you want? Do you still love them? Will you be happy without them in your life?”
That was the crux of her problem. As a social worker, what people thought of her social life did matter to a point. She could not count the number of times her supervisor had used her single mom status to get through to difficult case workers who complained about long hours. Or when she would reply to outraged single parents that she did in fact, know what they were going through. Her firm replies and candid examples normally surprised them to the point they calmed down. A few of them made catty remarks about her not being able to hang onto her baby daddies like they had. Within two minutes she normally had those females set straight.
“I am still attracted to them, no question about that…but I don’t know if I can go back to what we had. I mean I was what, seventeen, dating two brothers, I can’t do that anymore. It doesn’t even sound right.” The words left an acrid taste on her tongue.
Pam nodded slowly. “So you are willing to live without them?”
“No.” Horrified at that thought, she answered without thinking and then tried to backtrack when she saw Pam’s slight smile. “I mean I don’t know.”
Pam waved her down. “You already know what you want, you just have to figure out how to make it all work. It sounds like the three of you have been heart-mates for years, sometimes it just happens that way.” She shrugged. “The heart wants what the heart needs. Think about it, even if you chose one, sounds like you’d still want the other. Cheating with brothers, now that’s bad. You guys just need to talk and decide how you want to work this dance, because it sounds like all three of you are going to be on the dance floor at the same time.”
She met Pam’s sympathetic gaze, closed her eyes and slumped back on the sofa. “Arrggh… I know. I just don’t…I mean, I know it’s both of them. It’s always been, and this past week they have been reminding me of what we had and what we can have again. It’s been great.” This past week she had received romantic texts from Donnie and Blaine, flowers, and gift cards. Twice they had come over and watched television and ate popcorn with her and the boys. It had been family fun. She exhaled as she recalled each large check Donnie and Blaine had given her, calling it retroactive child support.
Thousands of dollars sat in her bank account for the first time in her life. One of the first things she did was hire a nurse full-time to be with her dad to make sure he received the proper care. She wasn’t qualified to be his main caregiver and was always afraid of making a mistake. The spine was a tricky thing. But she and the boys had been all he had with the exception of two afternoons a week when Ms. Lumpkin came over.
Pam patted the back of her hand. “You don’t have to make any decisions now. Relax and enjoy your free time. The boys are with their dads, meeting who? Their grandmother? You said she flew in to meet them? And an uncle or aunt?”
Belinda scratched the side of her ear as she tried to remember. “Their grandmother is here, I think there’s a brother who lives here as well. Plus another brother and his wife flew in yesterday. They’re all getting together today for lunch, but I passed. Not ready to deal with their mother or anyone else in that family.”
As the week progressed, Belinda thought more and more of what old man O’Connor did all those years ago and it pissed her off more. When she thought of her pregnancy, how she went through it alone, how she'd accepted hand-me-down clothes so she and her sons were warm, or her visits to the welfare office for assistance, she burned with anger at his audacity.
Selfish bastard.
From what the twins told her, they had not talked to him directly, but their mom said he deeply regretted his mistake and wanted to make amends. Problem was… there was no way to turn back the hands of time. She wanted nothing to do with the elder O’Connor.
Pam nodded. “I hear you.” She stopped and looked over her shoulder with a wide smile. “Hey baby,” she purred as Julio came into view.
“Mi cara,” he said as he came fully into the room and sat next to her. Without so much as a glance at Belinda he took his wife into his arms and kissed her long and hard.
“Looks like once again I'm left to introduce myself. Hi, I’m Tex.” A tall, good-looking black guy leaned against the doorframe, smiling at her with cool elegance. He was dressed in a pair of dress slacks and a fitted short-sleeve shirt, looking as though he'd stepped out of GQ magazine. Her girly parts stood up and took notice. “They do this all the time, ignoring everybody else. No manners.” He grinned as he tipped his chin toward the kissing couple.
“I’m Belinda, nice to meet you Tex. And they are entitled, this is their house.” She eyed him critically, something about him seemed familiar but she couldn’t place it.
He chuckled as he walked toward her. “Problem is they do that everywhere, makes it hard for a lonely, single man.”
She met his brazen gaze and laughed. “No, you didn’t just go there.” She glanced at his surprised expression and tried to stop herself from laughing, but failed. “See that line right there…lonely, single man, was over the top. You and I both know that’s not true.”
His eyes lit up as he chuckled and then it hit her. The walk, the flair of style, even the smile reminded her of her former pastor in Florida, who was serving time for rape.
“What? You saying I’m not a single man? I am, whenever Pam comes up for air you can ask her.” He winked and she bit back a groan. Her former pastor hadn’t given her a second glance, not in the 'I wanna get with you' way. His questions had been more about her financial stability.
Belinda waved him down with a genuine smile. “You may be single, but lonely, not hardly. You were smooth until you dropped that line.”
Tex laughed.
“You read him on the first line, Belinda,” Pam said. “He’s my bestie but he’s out there. Baby, you remember my friend Belinda.”
“Yes, how is your father? Your sons?” Julio asked as he continued to hold his wife in a loose embrace.
“My dad…well, we are still waiting for the results from this last surgery. I hired nurses to be with him around the clock to make sure he does everything the doctor instructed. My sons are okay, thanks for asking.” Talking about her dad left a sour taste in her mouth. On the one hand, she was glad to be here for him; on the other, she resented him for not standing up to her mom all those years ago. What kind of father allows his wife to put out their youngest child? Because of his illness she hadn’t been able to talk about that time in her life, but she knew they would eventually tackle it.
Julio nodded, placed a quick kiss on his wife’s lips, and stood. “Let my wife know if there is anything we can do for you, I know it is not easy for you.”
Touched, Belinda nodded as he and Tex left the room.
“Julio is right, this isn’t easy, but when it’s all said and
done, you do what you have to do. At least your dad has a shot at a decent life if this last surgery works. By the time I found my mom, she was beyond help. But I stayed until the end because I wouldn’t have been able to live with any other choice. Family… God chooses and puts us together. Sometimes I wonder if “He” ever gets mixed up.” Pam reached over and squeezed Belinda’s hand. “Let me know if you need anything.”
Unable to speak around the lump in her throat, Belinda nodded. Seeing her father with twisted limbs was hard. Dealing with Donnie and Blaine was complicated. Assisting her sons as they navigated new paternal waters was draining. All of these things created an emotional land field that threatened to blow her personal needs out of the park.
Neither spoke for a few moments.
“What happened to the other guy? The older man you were using for sex?”
Belinda choked and then coughed at the question. “Girl, you need to warn me before you ask questions like that.”
Pam grinned.
“He broke up with me.”
Pam stared at her. “What? Why? He saw Donnie and Blaine?” She leaned forward in her seat, eager.
Belinda nodded. “In a way.” She went on to explain what happened in the restaurant.
“Well…hmm. I guess that was slated to happen eventually anyway. Especially now that your other men are here. At least you guys left on good terms. Some people don’t.”
“Yeah, he called a couple of nights later and we talked it through. Supposedly we're okay.” She shrugged, her mind still on Tex and his similarities to her former pastor. “That guy Tex, where is he from?”
Pam leaned back, crossed her arms and gazed at her with a raised brow. “Tex? You’re interested in him?”
Belinda laughed at the frown creasing her friend’s brow. “No, not in the 'just the two of us' kind of way. He reminds me of my former pastor in Miami, except my pastor was mixed, Black and Spanish or something.” She waved. “It’s uncanny, but they look, act, and move very similar. I wondered if they might be related.”
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