Pam shook her head slowly. “I don’t know. He never talks about his family. Could be though, who knows? What’s the guy’s name, I’ll ask him.”
Belinda chuckled. “Pastor Herman. Eric Herman.” She waited until Pam was finished writing. “He’s in prison for raping a twelve-year-old girl.”
Pam’s jaw dropped as she gazed wide-eyed at Belinda. “What the hell? Naw… and he's still alive? Where is her family?”
Belinda nodded. “Exactly, that’s what I thought. It happened five years ago. I had joined the church because my best friend at the time, who I now call 'Crazy Trinity,' was a member. And since she had moved with me to Florida to help with the boys after my godmother died, I thought it only fair. Big mistake!”
Pam nodded.
“Turns out this guy had a history of being a pedophile with the kids in the church. This time the family refused to back down, and pressed charges. You would think the church members would’ve rallied around the young girl; she was only twelve, right? Or her family, right?” She stared at Pam as embers of resentment lit inside her belly.
“Right. Of course.”
Belinda shook her head. “Didn’t happen. The community was more outraged than the members. The church members swore the devil was at work to destroy the pastor and that we should stand with him. And this was after there was irrefutable proof he had done that shit.”
“You lying? They wanted you guys to let a rapist be pastor? They done lost their damn minds. I can imagine what you had to say about that.”
Belinda nodded. “Trinity starting spouting that stuff to me, be faithful, don’t listen to the devil, and the rest of that brainwashed BS. I cursed her out so bad she started crying, and then she packed her suitcase. Claimed she couldn’t remain in a house with a sinner on their way to hell. I guess she was afraid the angels might get us confused, or that I would mess up her blessings. Whatever. For the next three months she called and sent emails telling me to get saved, repent, return to the church, and finally, actually asked for donations to the pastor’s legal fund.”
Pam laughed, stood, and then patted her butt. “Glad to see the donations made no difference. He’s in prison probably learning the error of his ways through his ass.”
Laughing at Pam’s antics, Belinda thought back on happier times. She and Trinity had been close friends when she lived in Georgia. Being the only two young females in the church, they had bonded and the boys had loved her. Adam had taken it hard when Trinity moved out, but Abe had been best friends with the rape victim’s brother and didn’t buy into the pastor’s innocence that Trinity attempted to sell.
When Belinda never responded, Trinity’s tone changed. Like an unhinged evangelist, she would leave messages on the answering machine calling Belinda a whore, an unfit mother, even accused her of engaging in incest with Adam and Abe. After Belinda changed her email account and phone, letters started arriving in the mail. Both her sons had been shocked when they heard the phone messages. Abe called Trinity crazy and Adam agreed. After reading the first hateful letter from Trinity, Belinda never opened another. Instead, she placed them in a box in her closet just in case she ever needed to press charges.
She prayed that day never came.
Pam touched her shoulder with a look of concern. “You okay?”
Belinda nodded slowly, reigning in the memories. “Yeah, just thinking about all the stuff that happened. People do some wild stuff, that's all I gotta say.”
Chapter 11
Blaine pulled the chair out for his mom and waited until she was seated before taking his seat opposite his son. Warmth filled his chest with that acknowledgment. Adam was his and they were making progress, building a relationship. Granted it was shaky, although not hostile like Abe and Donald’s, but he thought they were progressing nicely after a week.
“I am so happy to meet both of you,” his mother said into the silence.
Abe nodded and picked up his menu.
“Thank you,” Adam said as he picked up his as well.
“I can’t get over it. You are the only ones in the family to have eyes like mine. So nice to see.”
Adam didn’t look up as he nodded.
“I’m happy to meet you as well,” Frank said as he opened his menu. “Nice to have older nephews in the family. I hope we get a chance to talk one on one later. I’m staying with my step-daughter and her family while here, but my schedule is open.”
“Okay,” Adam mumbled.
“Sorry I’m late, had something come up at the last minute,” Red said as he approached the table and pulled out the last empty chair.
“No problem,” Donald said. “We just got seated and haven’t ordered yet.” He turned slightly to Abe and Adam, who sat next to each other. “Abe, Adam, this is my brother, Benjamin, but everyone calls him Red.. He lives here. Red, this is my son Abe and his brother Adam.”
Red tipped his head toward the teens. “Hiya Abe. I met Adam at the construction office a while back. Good to see you again.”
Abe frowned and looked at his brother. “You met him?”
“I guess so. I don’t remember,” Adam said haltingly. “Which construction company was it? I applied to a few of them.”
“Three X. I walked in while Ross was interviewing you.”
Adam’s face cleared. “Oh yeah, he was mad at you about that. I forgot.”
“Why didn’t you work with us?” Red asked the question Blaine had wondered about.
Adam shrugged. “It was that or landscaping. I like working in the ground, so I took that job.”
Red glanced at Blaine as he nodded. “Well, if you ever change your mind, let me know and I’ll get you on with us.”
“Thanks,” Adam said, although his voice lacked conviction.
Red’s brow rose.
Frank shrugged and placed his menu to the side.
Donald waved the waitress over.
Adam and Abe stared at their menus as if the secrets of life were written on the pages.
Blaine exhaled slowly, read the sorrow in his mom’s gaze, and knew this lunch would be one for the books.
Once the waiter left with their orders, his mom placed her clasped hands on the table and leaned forward. “First off, let me say I am sorry for the misunderstanding that happened all those years ago.”
“What misunderstanding?” Abe asked.
Blaine met Donald’s gaze. Without Lindy to intervene, they would have to step in if the boys went too far. Under no circumstances would anyone be allowed to disrespect Allie O’Connor, not even her grandsons.
“When your mother called to tell your fathers about you.”
“How was that a misunderstanding? Mom called, was told her message would be passed along, it wasn’t. At least that’s what we were told. Is that the misunderstanding you’re talking about?” Abe asked in a moderate tone.
Nodding, Blaine saw the light of battle and respect enter his mother’s eyes. He leaned back to watch her work. If anyone could break through to these boys, she could.
“Actually you're right. It wasn’t a misunderstanding. My husband lied to your mom. He admitted it. His reasons don’t matter because the cost is too high. I thought to sugarcoat what happened, but you’re a straight shooter like your father, who is like me.” She smiled.
“Amen to that,” Frank said as he leaned back to allow the waiter to place his drink on the table.
Red smiled.
Donald nodded but remained silent.
Once drinks were delivered and the waiter left, she continued. “Here’s the deal, you are my grandsons. That will never change and I thank the good Lord for that fact.” She pointed at Blaine and then Donald. “Another thing that’ll never change is that these two are your fathers and they had nothing to do with not being there when you were younger. As a mother, I can tell you how much it hurt me seeing them mope around like wounded lions looking for their mate. They never dated anyone seriously after your mom and believe me; it wasn’t that women weren’t intereste
d. All my boys are good-looking men who know how to treat a woman.” She nodded and it was all Blaine could do not to hide his warm face as she ranted.
“I trained them to take care of their responsibilities, and each of them are good providers for their families. None of their wives have to work.” She leaned forward, pointed at Abe and spoke. “Granted, their da messed up, cheated us out of years of your life. And believe me, he is paying for that. But it’s not fair for you to take it out on your da…fathers. They suffered when your mom left and for years after that. It’s just not fair that they should continue to suffer now that you are all together.”
“Mum…” Blaine had gotten her to promise not to do exactly what she was doing.
“No…my grandson is a straight shooter so I am going to come to him, like he came to me, isn’t that right, Abe? You prefer it this way?”
Abe’s eyes widened a fraction before he spoke. “Yes, Ma’am, I do.”
Adam took a swallow of his soft drink and didn’t speak.
“Good. Because I noticed you’ve been stiff and acting like you don’t want to sit next to your father, what’s the deal with that? Has he hurt you in any way? Done anything other than offer kindness or friendship?”
Abe’s face held a tinge of dark red. “Yes, by not being there when I needed him. I don’t need him now like I needed him before.”
Blaine read the pain in Donald’s eyes before he blanked it.
His mother laughed.
Everyone at the table looked at her with expressions varying from disbelief to anger.
“If you think for one moment that you don’t need your father now as much as you needed him the first, what… the first sixteen years of your life?” She shook her head. “Well, let me just say you are not only wrong, but clueless as well. I’m sixty and expect to be here much longer. I plan to dance at your weddings. If you live to my age, that’s what… Another forty plus years of loving and living? You’re not even halfway there yet.” She snorted. “You will always need your parents, both of them. From where I’m sitting, your mom did a wonderful job raising two kindhearted and respectful young men this far. But she needs help and whether you admit it or not, you need a man in your life you can count on. You are just beginning to turn into young men, and need guidance. All children do. You will get it from somewhere, hopefully not one of those athletes or musicians.” She muttered the last part.
“I can’t help how I feel,” Abe said defensively. “I know it wasn’t his fault, mom told me, he told me, everyone says that. But that doesn’t change the resentment I have for him not being there when I needed him. Like my little league games while mom was in school. I was the only kid with no one cheering for him. Or when I had field trips, or class projects, mom was in school herself. After a while you just shut it down and convince yourself it doesn't matter.” He looked at Donald with glassy eyes. “It doesn't matter.”
Donald reached out and pulled Abe close. Although Abe struggled a bit, eventually he calmed and rested in his father’s arms. Every now and then a low sob would escape. Donald buried his face in his son’s hair and stroked his back with slow strokes.
“You matter to me,” Donald whispered repeatedly in a broken voice.
Blaine dotted his eyes with his napkin, unsurprised that everyone at the table was doing the same thing.
Except Adam.
Instead, Adam patted Abe’s back. “It’s going to be okay, don’t worry bout it.”
Blaine eyed Adam, whose face was turned away from him. “You’re right, Adam. It’s going to be okay.”
“Of course it is,” his mother piped in after a moment of sniffling herself. “Adam and Abe are strong and smart. Are you angry with Blaine, Adam?”
Adam’s movements stopped. “No, Ma’am. I’m not angry with anybody about nothing. What happened…” He shrugged. “It happened. Sounds like your husband did what he thought was right at the time. Although mom says she barely knew him and mostly talked to him on the phone. For some reason he played god and here we are. But… life goes on.”
No one spoke after his soft words fell. Disappointment clung like a leech to Blaine as he absorbed the full impact of his son’s statement. He’d thought Adam had accepted him, but he hadn’t, not really. And unlike Abe, who was up-front about his feelings, Adam had already cataloged his and packed them away.
“Well I wouldn’t say pop’s played god,” Red said slowly, pulling his right earlobe. “If he'd known about you two, he never would’ve done what he did.”
“For a family who thinks you should be upfront, he wasn’t,” Adam said in a calm, deliberate tone. “If he had told mom he wasn’t going to pass on the message, things would’ve been different. She woulda contacted someone else to get a message to them.” He tipped his head in Blaine’s direction. “Instead she believed the lie like he intended.” He shrugged again.
Blaine couldn’t fault his son’s logic. He, Donald, and Lindy had already discussed that possibility.
“Yeah, you right about that, things woulda been different. For one, I wouldn’t missed my nephew’s games.” Red chuckled. “Being the youngest, if I'd had you two in my life, probably woulda kept me out of a lot of trouble. You can bet you’d a been surrounded by so many of us you’d be trying to move far away.” He glanced at his mom. “Not that I did that.”
She snorted at him and shook her head.
“What my youngest brother is trying to say, Adam, is we all missed out. I own a landscaping company, so you got the working outdoors with your hands thing honest. Red and Roark both spent summers working with me, learning the ropes. I would’ve loved having you two with me.”
Blaine watched as Abe sat up and wiped his face with a napkin Donald gave him. The two nodded at each other and faced the table, not quite joining the conversation but listening.
“Roark is your other brother?” Adam asked.
“Yes,” Blaine answered. “He’s after us. His wife is in her third trimester otherwise he would be here to meet you.”
Adam leaned back with a confused look. “Why? Why would he do that?”
“Because you’re his nephew,” Red said before Blaine could answer. “And that means a lot to us. My wife, Denise, wants to throw a party for you guys, but I thought I should meet you first, make sure we all cool. She’s kind of feisty and it might hurt her feelings if you wanted nothing to do with her or my twin girls.”
“You have twins?” Abe asked, becoming animated.
Red chuckled. “Yeah, they run in the family. I’m surprised Brenda’s only having one son.”
“She wanted twins,” his mom said with a smile in her voice.
“I don’t have any kids of my own. My wife has an adult daughter who’s married to Ross. You met him, Adam,” Frank said.
Adam nodded.
“They have a couple of kids and we spoil them. Lots of fun.”
“Here’s the thing, Adam,” his mom said into the silence. “My husband messed up, played god. He lied, no question it was deliberate. If you ever meet him, feel free to ask him why. Lord knows I have,” she muttered.
Blaine smiled at her aggravated expression.
“But the past cannot be changed. Can you find room in your heart to forgive Blaine for not being there for your first sixteen years? Can you accept him as your father? Give both of you a chance to know each other? I assure you, you won’t regret it.”
Blaine stilled at the questions he desperately wanted to ask, but feared the answers. His mother’s keen insight always amazed him. She had started with Abe and broke down those walls. If his demeanor were a gauge, Blaine would say he’d settled some things within himself and began healing. Adam’s placid facade was deceptive, as his earlier words proved. Whatever demons drove his son would not be easily uprooted. Blaine had his work cut out for him.
He watched as Adam gazed at the table as if he were pondering a weighty matter. Abe glanced at Adam and then met Blaine’s gaze with a small smile. Finally Adam’s head rose, as well as B
laine’s hopes.
“I don’t know,” Adam said in a low voice, sending Blaine’s heart crashing.
Chapter 12
A few days later, walking down the long hallway toward Donnie and Blaine’s hotel suite, a thought continuously ran through Belinda’s mind. Something was different with her former lovers. They were all older, so it wasn’t that. But they exuded an aura of leashed control, and while she thought it was sexy as hell, she didn’t understand it. When they were younger, she never gave the way they planned everything, making sure their time together went smoothly, a second thought. But after all these years of being the one to plan everything, their bossiness stood out like a neon sign. Even so, it was different, more subtle, as if it were an integral part of them. She shook her head to clear her mind. In a few moments she’d be in their room and could ask them any question she had, that was the purpose of this meeting.
Belinda stopped and stared into the hall mirror in the hallway, wondering for the fiftieth time what the hell was she doing going to visit Donnie and Blaine. In their hotel. Without her sons. She had lost her mind. More than once this evening she had turned around, only to change her course and continue. Her throbbing core made it quite clear she expected a hell of a lot more than conversation tonight. Not that she blamed her out of control libido; Donnie and Blaine were a lethal combination. These past few days they had been blatant about their feelings for her and what they wanted to do with her.
Clearing her throat, she looked at their suite number, straightened her dress, and raised her fist to knock. “Stop fidgeting. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” she murmured. Problem was, she wanted to do everything with both of these men. Her mind and body were at war. If her aching nipples or damp panties were any indication, her body was giving her conservative mind a serious beat-down.
“Just knock on the door, you look stupid holding your hand up,” she murmured as her heart raced in anticipation and her mind told her to walk away. Flashbacks of her lonely pregnancy, the anxiety she'd suffered raising her sons alone, the few men from the church who had wanted to date her but she'd said no to. All of those snippets in time rolled through her mind on a loop. She lowered her hand and took a step back. Do you really want to deal with these two again?
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