Forever and For Always

by Sophie Love

“What other types of material?”

  “We could do shingle or asphalt. They’d be much cheaper. Here.” He passed her a pamphlet. “This is all the options and all the prices.” He turned the pamphlet over. “That’s my direct number. Just give me a call when you’re ready for the work to be done.”

  Emily took the pamphlet glumly. “Thanks for your time,” she mumbled. “I’ll be in touch.”

  Emily showed him to his van. As he drove away, she noticed Trevor Mann in his garden watching her with a sinister smirk on his lips.

  Emily went quickly back inside, not willing to deal with a single one of Trevor’s questions right now. The second the door was shut she let out the tense breath she’d been holding. As her mask of professionalism slipped, Emily’s feeling of dread and depression intensified.

  Just then, someone knocked at the front door. Emily gritted her teeth. She was not in the mood for Trevor.

  The knocking came again.

  “Emily?” she heard Daniel call from the other side. “You in there?”

  She turned and opened the door. “Sorry, I thought you were Trevor.”

  “I won’t ask why,” Daniel said, frowning. “Was that the roofer I just saw leaving?” He jerked his thumb over his shoulder.

  “Uh-huh,” Emily said, her bottom lip beginning to quiver.

  “Not good news, I take it,” Daniel said.

  “Nope,” was all Emily could manage. She could feel the hot tears welling in her eyes, threatening to spill over.

  “Come and sit down,” Daniel said, leading her inside to the couch.

  Just three short weeks ago, she’d been so hopeful about the future, about the B&B. To think there’d been a time when her greatest concern was that her guest had left before breakfast! She’d give anything to have Mr. Kapowski back if it meant a bit of cash flow.

  “So, what are we looking at?” Daniel asked gently, his hand still wrapped around Emily’s.

  “Five grand for the patch job. Fifty grand for the whole thing, roof beams and all.”

  Daniel whistled. “Wow. Okay. It’s that bad?”

  Emily pressed her lips together and nodded. It was a warm day but she felt as cold as ice.

  “Why did this have to happen just after pouring all my money into that antique furniture?” she cried.

  “Well,” Daniel said, “because fate is cruel. And life would be too easy otherwise.” His quip fell on deaf ears. Emily was too depressed to laugh. “We can handle this,” he said. “What if we sold off the carriage house?”

  “We couldn’t do that,” Emily refuted immediately. “That’s your home.”

  “I’ll move in with you.”

  Emily shook her head. Not because she didn’t want to live with Daniel—she most certainly did—but because she wanted it to be under happier circumstances, out of choice rather than necessity.

  “I’m touched,” she told him. “Really I am. It would be a huge sacrifice on your part. But I have to refuse.”

  Daniel didn’t press it further. “Well then, why don’t I take a job on the side? I could use the money to pay for the repairs.”

  Emily was deeply touched by Daniel’s suggestions, but she didn’t want him sacrificing so much for her benefit. She needed him to keep living his life as he wanted to, not living it in ways she needed him to. It was a surefire way to build resentment and she didn’t want to risk it, not while everything between them felt so perfect.

  Though she was more worried about her business than ever, Emily turned Daniel down.

  “We’ll find another way,” she told him, squeezing his hand.

  But what that might be, Emily had no idea.

  Just then, the doorbell rang.

  “Okay, this time it’s definitely Trevor,” Emily said with a groan as she stood from the couch.

  Emily went to the front door. But when she opened it, it was not Trevor whom she found standing on the doorstep.

  It was her mother.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Emily stood face to face with her mother for the first time in close to a year. She blinked, startled, as though she were seeing a ghost. Despite the difficulties in their relationship, Emily loved her mom and was still pleased to see her. She smiled warmly.

  “So it’s true,” her mom said, not bothering with any kind of greeting. “I had to hear it from one of the yokels that my daughter was here. You know I knew you’d left New York, but that you came here of all places!”

  Emily felt herself deflate. Her mom was on the offensive. Emily had run off to the house belonging to her father, the man who had abandoned their family without a word. She should have guessed that her mom would be livid when she found out, that this surprise visit from her mom wasn’t for pleasure.

  “I… I’m sorry I didn’t get around to telling you,” Emily began, trying to be diplomatic.

  “Didn’t get around to telling me?” Her mom tutted with disbelief. “Tell me, Emily, when were you expecting to get around to it? Next year? The year after?”

  “Mom…” Emily said with a large exhalation, keeping her voice level even though her insides felt like she was on a rollercoaster. “I can explain if you give me a chance.”

  “I’d love you to explain,” her mom said sharply. “I’d love nothing more than for you to tell me what the hell you’re doing here.”

  Emily could feel herself growing angrier and more frustrated. She stayed at the threshold of the door, keeping a barrier between the house and her mom.

  From over her shoulder, Emily heard Daniel call, “Who is it?”

  “Nothing,” she called back. “I can handle it.” But when she looked back at her mother, her expression was more furious than ever.

  “It is not nothing,” she spat. “It’s her mother!”

  She shouted the last part into the house. Emily squirmed.

  “Who have you got in there?” her mom added, prying.

  “It’s none of your business, Mom,” Emily said, her patience running out. “Look, I don’t want to be rude or anything, but it’s late and I want to go to bed. I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch but I’ll call you first thing tomorrow morning and explain everything, okay?”

  “Oh no,” her mom replied. “I’m not buying that. I want you to let me in. It’s been almost a year since we last saw each other and you seem to have created a secret little life for yourself in this awful place your father loved so much. Next thing I know you’ll be telling me he’s living here too!”

  Emily shook her head, hurt that her mom would be so brazen as to pick the scab off that particular wound.

  “Funnily enough,” Emily said, “Dad is still considered a missing person.”

  Her mom pursed her lips. “Are you going to let me in or not?”

  Emily faltered, feeling like she had no choice. She didn’t want to let her angry, chaotic mother into the warm, happy world she’d created. She didn’t want Daniel tarnished in any way by meeting her. But it was her mother, it was late, and she couldn’t leave her standing on the doorstep.

  “Fine,” she replied. “Come in. I suppose we’ve got some catching up to do.”

  Emily guided her mom into the living room. Daniel stood up immediately from the couch when they entered, smoothing his hands over the tops of his trousers awkwardly.

  “Daniel,” Emily said, “this is my mom.”

  “Patricia,” her mom said by way of introduction, holding out her hand. “Who are you?”

  “I’m… um…” Daniel looked appealingly to Emily, unsure what he was supposed to say.

  “He’s my boyfriend, Mom,” Emily said finally. It was the first time she’d referred to him as such. She hoped it wouldn’t freak him out. It certainly wasn’t as big a deal as telling him she loved him and that hadn’t sent him running for the hills. And anyway, if anything was going to scare him away it would be this meeting with her mom.

  “Shall I leave?” Daniel said in a hushed voice to Emily.

  “I can hear you,” Patricia said shortly
. “And no, you’re not leaving. You’re going to stay and tell me what the hell is happening in my daughter’s life, since she isn’t capable of telling me herself. Emily Jane, fetch us some gin and tonics, won’t you?”

  Emily hesitated, unwilling to leave Daniel alone in a room with her psychologically fragile mom. But he gave her a reassuring look, one that seemed to say, “I can handle this.”

  She rushed off and made the gin, surprised to find that her hands were shaking. All this time she thought Sunset Harbor was changing her, but here she was, still trembling like a child just because of her sharp-tongued mother. She tried not to berate herself too much as she carried the tray of drinks back into the living room; her mom was probably going to do enough berating for the both of them.

  “So you have dogs now, do you?” her mom said as soon as Emily returned.

  From the door, she caught Daniel’s eye. He mouthed sorry.

  Emily placed the tray on the table. “Yes,” she said, trying to sound breezy. “Two. Mogsy was a pregnant stray we rescued and Rain is the runt from her litter. Would you like to meet them?”

  “Absolutely not,” her mom replied, reaching for her drink. “You know I hate dogs. Filthy creatures.”

  Emily sat down beside Daniel and took the strongest of the gin and tonics before drinking it quickly. She was going to need some Dutch courage to get through the new few hours.

  “So,” her mom began, leaning forward, “what I’ve gleaned from Daniel is that you fancy yourself a businesswoman now. You’ve turned my house into a B&B.”

  Emily gulped. “Ta-da,” she said, gesturing with her arms.

  “You don’t get many guests by the looks of things,” her mom replied without missing a beat.

  Emily could feel her insides clenching. The familiar desire to smack her mother welled up inside of her, but she fought it, just as she had done for all the years she’d known the awful woman.

  “I gather from your silence,” her mom added, “that it’s not going well.”

  “Business is a little slow just now,” Emily replied, trying to keep her voice steady. It seemed to have notched up in pitch. “I had to apply for a permit to put up a sign and just as soon as I’ve got that I’ve no doubt that it will pick up again soon.”

  Her mom just shrugged, looking as displeased as ever. She took a large swig of her gin. “You know this place is mine, not yours.”

  She said it so nonchalantly Emily was completely stunned.

  “No, it’s not,” Emily finally managed to stammer. “Mom, you always hated this house. You would never even come with us on our vacations here. But now that it’s fixed up, you want it?”

  “None of that matters,” Patricia said icily. “Your dad left it to me.”

  “You’re wrong,” Emily countered. “This house was in dad’s family first. It was left to him. After you guys divorced, it was left to me, not you. He has papers here leaving it to me.” She had found them in one of her father’s safes and prayed that they had survived the most recent drenching the house had taken.

  “Oh really?” her mom said, laughing. “Can I see these papers?”

  “Yes,” Emily said. “Once I relocate them.”

  Her mom raised an eyebrow. “You’ve lost the legal documents saying this house is yours?”

  “Not lost,” Emily said, floundering, “just misplaced. There’s been a lot of reorganizing going on around here. But I know they’re somewhere safe.” She could feel the tears welling in her eyes. She didn’t want to break down here, especially not in front of Daniel, but she was furious.

  “Right,” her mom said, standing. “I think I’ll turn in for the night.”

  “Turn in?” Emily said. “You mean to say—”

  “Well, I didn’t drive eight hours from New York for one measly G&T, did I?” her mom replied boldly.

  “But we’re in the middle of renovating the rooms for the B&B! Everything is a mess!”

  Her mom scoffed. “You’re not putting me up in one of your silly B&B rooms. I’ll be staying in the master room, thank you very much.”

  “You can’t,” Emily refuted. “That’s my bedroom now.”

  Her mom eyed her coolly. “You’ve taken my room?”

  “It wasn’t yours!” Emily bit back. The anger was rising and rising inside of her. She was about to really lose her temper. “You got divorced, remember? That room was Dad’s and he’s not here anymore, so now it’s mine. Why doesn’t that make sense to you?”

  She felt Daniel’s hand on the top of her arm, holding her back as she had done to him several times before.

  “We’ll sleep in the carriage house,” he said, diplomatically. “Let your mom have the master bedroom if she wants.”

  “Thank you, Daniel,” her mom said smoothly. “I’m glad to see someone here respects their elders.” And with that she clomped off upstairs, leaving Emily reeling beneath.

  Emily grasped her mouth to stifle the wail that was bursting to get out. Luckily Daniel grabbed her before her knees hit the floor. He held her tightly in his arms as she gasped for air, hyperventilating.

  “Look at me,” he said, taking her face in his hands. “Emily, look at me.”

  She could hardly focus, her mind spinning, her breath coming in short, ragged gasps.

  “My life…” she stammered. “It’s collapsing.”

  “No,” Daniel said sternly. “No, it’s not. Emily. Stay with me. I’m not letting you have one of your blackouts again.”

  The words caught her off guard. “What?” she managed to ask. Her eyes were so blurred by her tears she couldn’t even make out Daniel’s features.

  “The blackouts. When you get lost in the past and go silent and still. You had one at the Memorial Day Parade. And you had one before, during the storm. It scared me. I don’t want you to disappear like that. I don’t want you checking out of reality.”

  He knew. Daniel knew her secret.

  “I have flashbacks,” she stuttered. “Of the past. Of things I’ve blocked out.”

  Her face was still in his hands, his thumbs working overtime to wipe the tears from her cheeks as they fell.

  “You’ve repressed your past and now it’s coming back to you,” he said gently.

  Emily remembered the psychology textbooks he had on his shelf, next to the photography books and crime novels.

  “Freud?” she said, managing a smile.

  “Uh-huh,” Daniel said gently. “And now with your mom here, it’s triggering it more. But it’s okay. Just stay with me.”

  Emily reached up and held her hands over his.

  “I will,” she said, her voice quiet now, the tears no longer falling. “I’ll stay.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Emily wasn’t sure if she managed to get even an hour’s worth of sleep that night. Her mind was reeling, ticking overtime. She felt hyper, overvigilant, jumping at every noise.

  As soon as her alarm went off at 6 a.m. she leapt out of bed. The last thing she wanted was her mom traipsing around the house unsupervised. If her mom was insisting on being here, at the very least Emily needed to keep an eye on her.

  She dressed quickly and quietly, not wanting to wake Daniel. He stirred nonetheless.

  “Are you going?” he asked sleepily.

  “I should feed the dogs,” she said, buttoning her blouse up. “And the chickens. And the dragon.”

  Daniel smirked. “Do you want me to come with you as backup?”

  “You know what?” Emily said. “It would actually be really helpful if you kept out of the way. I don’t like you seeing this part of my life.”

  “I can handle it,” Daniel replied. “I have a crazy family too.”

  “I know. And you’re probably going to avoid me meeting them for as long as possible.”

  “Fair point,” he replied.

  “Come on,” Emily said, tucking him into bed. “Back to sleep with you.” She kissed him tenderly.

  Emily left the carriage house and trudged up the pathwa
y, her arms wrapped tightly around her middle. Just knowing her mom was here seemed to taint everything. The wildflowers looked less colorful. The streak of silver ocean in the background made her feel nothing. Even the birdsong made her wince.

  She reached the main house and went inside, padding along the corridor to the kitchen to make some coffee.

  “OH jeez!” she exclaimed when she walked in to find her mom standing there. “How long have you been awake for?”

  Her mom’s hands were wrapped around a coffee mug. “A long time,” she said. “Coffee?”

  Emily eyed her suspiciously, but accepted the mug. She slumped down at the kitchen table, wracking her brain, trying to think of something to say.

  “I don’t want the house, Emily,” her mom said suddenly.

  Emily looked up from the tabletop.

  “You don’t?”

  “No. I was hurt. Deeply hurt that you would come here of all places.”

  Emily swallowed hard.

  “I know. But I didn’t do it to hurt you.”

  “No,” her mom said. “I’m sure you didn’t. But it did hurt me. And I shouldn’t have been surprised that you came here. I should have worked it out ages ago. You idolized your dad.”

  Emily held her mug tightly. She didn’t know where this conversation was going, but she prayed it wouldn’t be one of those ones where her mom berated her dad in one, long, angry stream of consciousness.

  “He always left me to be the bad parent,” her mom continued. “You don’t remember that stuff though, do you? All you remember about him is his summer house. And the presents he’d get you. You don’t remember the weeks he’d disappear off to Barcelona.”

  She was right. Emily had no memory of that at all. But she suspected that it wasn’t something she’d blacked out, that rather it was something her mom had protected her from.

  “And here was me thinking he only had eyes for Sunset Harbor,” Emily joked, her voice cautious, not knowing how her mom would react.

  To her surprise, her mom chuckled. Emily chanced looking at her. The fury she’d seen in her mother’s eyes last night was gone.

  “I worry you’re going to turn out like him,” Patricia said, sighing. “Disappearing. Running off.”