Closing Books (Ghost Of The Past)

by Trisha Grace

  In an instant, she felt all the muscles in her body tense and she couldn’t move. She fell back against the cage like a block of wood as the sting of electricity ran through her body. Soon, the sting subsided and a burning sensation pulsated through her.

  The pain gradually eased, and she could once again hear the she-devil humming. Even as the pain slowly subsided, Evelyn was already bracing for the next zap. After another few zaps and some cursing, Mrs. Moore moved to her box and pulled out a small knife. She was much more cautious with the knife, careful to make cuts in places that were easily covered by clothes.

  Twirling the knife in her hands, the she-devil circled their cages and stopped by hers. Evelyn clenched her jaws tight and tensed her arms and back, bracing for the pain as her skin got sliced open.

  Suddenly, she felt herself falling.

  She screamed and flailed her arms as her eyes flew opened. She stared up at the ceiling while her senses slowly registered where she was.

  She had fallen onto the floor from her couch.

  Using her elbow, she pushed her back off the floor and sat up. Her hair clung around her neck and hot, angry tears gushed from her eyes.

  She closed her eyes and let the tears fall. She was too tired to do anything about them.

  The trip down memory lane had left her more exhausted than before, but she didn’t dare to go back to sleep.

  Pushing herself off the floor, she tottered to her bathroom. She stepped into the shower with her clothes on and let the water cascade down her already wet face and shivering body.

  Dan checked the time again before getting out of his car. He had waited outside the mansion for over fifteen minutes, hoping that Kate was up and in the kitchen before he headed in.

  Otherwise, Tyler might throw him out before he could apologize to Kate.

  “Good morning,” Dan announced as he stepped into the kitchen, immediately noticing that Evelyn wasn’t around.

  “Look who’s back,” Ryan said. “I told you that he won’t be able to stay away from your food for long.”

  Marianne shook her head indulgently. “Sit. Eat,” she instructed, placing a plate in front of him.

  No one spoke of the spat Dan and Kate had. Everyone chatted, catching up with one another. When all the food on the table was gone, Dan suddenly turned to Kate and said, “I’ll drive you to work.”

  Tyler looked at Kate and waited for her reaction.

  “You know, guys, I do have a car. A car that’s just sitting and rotting away in the garage.”

  Tyler’s lips turned up, and he shrugged. “I’m helping to save the earth. We shouldn’t be wasting precious resources.”

  Kate rolled her eyes, turned to Dan and said, “Can you believe him? He’ll say anything to get his way.” Standing, she grabbed her bag and turned to Dan. “I guess you’re my ride to the office.”

  Tyler kissed her goodbye, and she strolled out with Dan.

  “I must say, I was surprised that he didn’t flat out reject my offer to drive you,” Dan admitted when they got into the car.

  “He trusts you. He’s protective of me, but he trusts you.”

  “I’m sorry about the other day. I shouldn’t have vented my frustrations on you.”

  “I’m sorry I overreacted.”

  “So we’re good?” Dan asked, looking over at her.

  She chuckled softly. “Yeah, of course. I can’t believe you’d think I’m so petty.”

  A few moments of silence lingered as Dan tried to find something to talk about. They never lacked in topics, especially when they both worked in the same line. He loved joking about the stupidity of some interior designers while she complained about the brainlessness of certain contractors.

  They could go on quipping for hours, each trying to prove their profession being the better half of the construction line.

  Turning on the ignition, he struggled to come up with some line of conversation while a battle went on in his mind. He fought to stop himself from asking about Evelyn, his logic reminding him of all the reasons to forget about her.

  “How’s things going with Christine?”

  His head snapped over toward her, his brows furrowed, and he stared at her, wondering how she found out.

  Then, almost immediately, realization hit him. “Ryan can never keep his mouth shut.”

  Kate laughed. “He was trying to rattle some nerves. Since Joanne is gone, he had to find someone else to tease. Christine was just good material.”

  To tease? “Someone else as in Evelyn?”

  “It was bound to come out sooner or later anyway.”

  He would choose ‘later’ or ‘never’.

  Unable to contain his question any further, he finally asked, “How is she doing?”

  “She’s fine,” Kate said, after a moment’s hesitation. “She’s fine.”

  He noticed Kate’s hesitation.

  He saw how her eyes lost their focus and drifted into thoughts. He was about to ask her what was wrong when he forced his mouth close. If she’d kept it from him, it was probably something she believed Evelyn wouldn’t want her to tell.

  “You haven’t answered my question. How are things going with Christine?”

  “Nothing much. We’ve been out a few times. That’s it.”

  “You must kind of like her to go out with her a few times, right?” Kate turned to him with her brows raised, then suddenly raised her arms and looked away. “You know what? Don’t tell me.”

  Laughing at her reaction, he answered her anyway, “She’s nice.”

  From their first date, it was clear that there would be nothing more than friendship between them. But Christine didn’t mind hanging out with him, until she met her true love, of course. Then she’d kick him to the curb.

  He loved chatting with Christine. With her, he didn’t have to worry about their conversations leaking over to the rest of the group.

  A sudden loud alert on his phone caused Kate to jump in her seat. “I’m sorry,” he said.

  “Whoa. Why do you have to set it so loud?”

  Dan didn’t offer any explanation. He merely gave her a sheepish smile and apologized again.

  Before he formally ended things with Evelyn, she would, at times, call him up in the middle of the night, asking if he was interested in some late-night supper.

  She always sounded depressed, but whenever he asked, she simply shrugged it off and said she just couldn’t sleep.

  He didn’t mind not knowing the reason. He always met her whenever she wanted, and would accompany her for as long as she liked. He knew there was more to those late-night suppers than her insomnia, but he never forced her for an answer.

  When Evelyn refused to talk about something, nothing could change her mind.

  Since there was nothing he could do to change Evelyn, he did what he could on his part.

  Each night, before heading to bed, he’d set his phone to the maximum volume, just so he wouldn’t miss any of Evelyn’s calls. Though she probably would never call him again, the ritual had already become a habit.

  Lowering the volume on his phone, he asked, “Any news on the arson case?”

  Kate turned and looked out the window. “Nope. Detective Allen couldn’t find anything new. I guess you can call it a cold case.”

  “But Ty’s better now, he lets you go meet your clients on your own and all.”

  “Yeah.” Her hands reached over to her necklace. “Thanks to this.” Her fingers tugged on the necklace that Tyler found around her neck after the fire. The same necklace that Tyler had given to his mother when he was young.

  No one said much about it, but no rational reason could explain how Kate got the necklace that was lost for twenty years, the necklace that Tyler’s mother never took off.

  “Still, I think you should join the self-defense class that Joe is organizing.”

  “Really? You really think I can do damage with some self-defense class? If Eve hadn’t been with me that day, I probably would’ve fainted from a
panic attack.”

  He gave her a dry laugh, not saying anything else.

  A few moments of silence followed, and he noticed Kate playing with the pendant around her neck.

  “What is it?” he asked.

  “I know what Evelyn has been doing to you is horrible, but she isn’t doing it on purpose. She’s stuck in her thinking that no one would want her or love her if he knew what happened. She’s never really gotten over her past.”

  He didn’t know how to react.

  Neither Kate nor Evelyn was willing to divulge the truth of the horrible past they kept talking about. He couldn’t help getting annoyed at being asked to be understanding while being kept in the dark. “Look, I know she’s been through something horrible, and I want to understand and help. But I can’t do anything when you ladies aren’t willing to talk. So, let’s just put all this behind us.”

  Kate nodded, then she bit down on her lips and turned to Dan. “She wouldn’t let me tell you, but you can guess. Yes and no questions.”

  “Whatever for?”

  “Because I want you to understand. I know a lot of them in the house think she’s aloof, and they aren’t happy about what she’s doing to you. The thing is, she isn’t like that. She’s more than her craziness. I just wish all of you could understand, especially you. I know she doesn’t show it, but you’re important to her. I’m not trying to change your mind about ending things with her; I just don’t want you to hate her.”

  “I don’t hate her.”

  “But you’re pissed with all these secrets. Just guess.”

  Oh, what the hell. “Abused?”

  “Yes.”

  “Abused by her foster parents?”

  “Yes.”

  He hesitated at his next question. “Rape?”

  “No.”

  Abuse. He’d guessed as much. Still, her absolute distrust seemed too extreme. He didn’t dare say that out loud. He didn’t want Kate to think he couldn’t sympathize with the things Evelyn had gone through.

  But even without him saying a word, Kate picked it up.

  “It wasn’t just abuse, it was much worse. It was torture. It was evil.” Her voice softened and he turned, seeing tears in her eyes.

  He was stumped for a moment. Whenever his mom or Joanne started the waterworks, it was a signal for him to clear out of their zone. He knew Kate wasn’t trying to manipulate him with her tears, but after years of walking away from crying women, he didn’t quite know what to do.

  “Okay…” he said, searching for a tissue. He should have a box somewhere.

  Kate dapped at her tears and gave a strangled laugh. “I’m sorry, I just…no one should’ve been made to go through what she did.”

  He took his eyes off Kate and stared at the road ahead. He understood what she was trying to get through to him.

  Evelyn wasn’t using the past as an excuse to hide behind her walls. Something so terrible happened that she hadn’t dared to step out from behind it.

  The only way you can get your happily-ever-after is the commitment to never give up no matter what; that’s all the magic and love potion you need.

  He ran his hand through his hair as he heard Christine’s words in his head.

  He sighed softly, making sure that Kate couldn’t hear him.

  He should have just stayed angry instead of asking his questions.

  Chapter Eight

  Evelyn flipped onto her back, her room illuminated in a warm, yellow glow from the small night lamp plugged into the electricity outlet on the table across her bed.

  She stared up at the sky blue ceiling above her. She had painted it herself on the first day she moved in. She hated white ceilings, it reminded her too much of all the sleepless nights she’d spent staring at the lines in the cotton white ceiling while she waited for the creaks creeping up the stairs.

  Looking toward the clock on the wall, she groaned. It was already four in the morning.

  Despite having been in bed since nine, she hadn’t slept a wink.

  She pushed aside her blanket and reached across to pick up the bottle of sleeping pills on the nightstand. She sat up straight, twirling the bottle in her hand.

  With a frustrated sigh, she twisted the cap off the bottle and shook out one of the pills. She was tempted to pop it into her mouth and continue to lie in bed until she could fall asleep.

  At the last minute, she changed her mind and dumped the pill back into the bottle. If she took the pill now, she wouldn’t be able to wake up in the morning.

  Besides, an unwelcome side effect from the sleeping pills was negating her initial reason for taking them.

  Puffing her cheeks, she blew out a breath and threw the bottle into a nearby trashcan.

  Instead, she got off her bed, trudged over to the window, and glanced out of her apartment.

  The silence outside was accompanied by a stillness. Even the leaves appeared to have frozen in place, making it look as if time had slowed down.

  Staring at the empty streets only reminded her of how alone she was. Even now, as she stood in front of her window, she was awake while the rest of the world slept.

  It was as if the universe was reminding her how out of place she was, how she would never belong.

  Once again, tears slipped down her eyes.

  This routine wasn’t new to her.

  Initially, when Evelyn was on her sleeping pills, she would be able to enjoy a good night’s rest for most of the night. Sleep that was free from all nightmares. Then, one pill was no longer sufficient. She began taking two, then three, and still, she’d find herself waking in the middle of the night.

  She had enough common sense to know she was popping way too many pills just to get some rest, but it wasn’t enough incentive to get her to stop. Each nightmare-free sleep was a slice of heaven for her, and she wasn’t willing to give that up.

  The newly acquired motivation to stop stemmed mainly from the fear of the scarier side effects.

  Instead of the nightmare-free sleep, her nightmares returned in full force and it became more difficult to wake up from them.

  The start of the nightmare varied. Sometimes, she would be immobilized on the bed. Sometimes, she would be hiding in the bathroom, her arms pulling against the doorknob as she tried her best to keep the door shut.

  No matter how it began, the next stage of her nightmare always remained the same.

  She would have to endure the sharp jolt of electricity from the Taser surging through her body, the tension of clenching her jaws so tightly that she was sure her teeth would shatter, the sting of sharp blades skimming across her skin, and the distinct feeling of warmth as blood oozed out of her.

  Usually, she would wake up by then. She would be drenched in cold sweat and be shivering as she wrapped her arms around herself. But she would be awake and could remind herself that she was no longer in that hell hole.

  The pills, however, were trapping her inside for a longer time.

  She could bear the tortures in the nightmare. After all, she’d lived through it once. The true pain, the pain she couldn’t bear, wasn’t from the wounds inflicted by the torture. It was the feeling of abandonment and betrayal.

  The abandonment of the people who were supposed to protect her.

  The betrayal of the one person she had tried, in spite of her own position, to help and protect.

  So instead of heaven, the sleeping pills were keeping her longer in hell.

  Evelyn shook her head and brushed away her tears on her shoulders.

  Since going cold turkey, her sleep dropped into two main categories.

  On the ‘good’ nights, she would toss for two to three hours before finally falling asleep, then waking up from her nightmare in the early hours of the morning.

  On the ‘bad’ nights, such as the one she was having, she would try, but no matter how she forced her eyes shut and made herself relax, her mind simply refused to shut off.

  She’d tried imagining herself drifting on a smooth, serene lak
e. She’d tried counting sheep. She’d tried using all those essential oils that Kate had bought for her, but none worked.

  Regardless if it was a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ night, not taking her sleeping pills summed up to only one fact—she would end up crying away whatever was left of the night.

  During the day, she could be the strong Evelyn, the Evelyn who told herself that what didn’t kill her only made her stronger, the Evelyn who had turned out to be a better person despite the things she had experienced and done, and the Evelyn no one would dare mess around with.

  The nights were another matter.

  Each night, her insecurities and nightmares took turns to taunt and remind her of how unworthy she was.

  Nightmares, insecurities, loneliness, and fear; her old companions of the night had all returned together.

  Her hands moved toward her phone and dialed Dan’s number. Her thumb hovered over the call button while her sleep-deprived, slow-witted brain informed her that she no longer had the right to call him.

  Things were no longer the same.

  This time round, Dan was the one who told her that he was done, and he was already seeing someone else.

  He deserved to be free from someone as damaged as she was.

  She let her new phone slip from her hand and allowed it to drop onto the floor.

  Returning to her bed, she got back under the covers, hoping that by the pure refusal to open her eyes, she would somehow fall asleep.

  The summer heat outside wasn’t helping the temperature within the gym. With dust swarming the place, they couldn’t switch on the air conditioners or the fans and the heat was getting on everyone’s nerves.

  Though Dan hadn’t done much work, his t-shirt was getting wet from the heat trapped in the gym.

  “What the hell are you doing? Move over!” one of his men shouted from across the gym.

  For a moment, he’d thought himself to be the intended recipient of the message. He took a step aside and knocked into another of his men. “Sorry.”