Nocturne

by Heather McKenzie

  “Don’t worry, Louisa will be doctoring up the doctor and bossing around the nanny,” he said, turning on the truck’s headlights.

  I nodded, checking my phone again for the hundredth time to see if there had been any calls.

  Seth smiled. “Ellis is strange, but we know there’s not a better babysitter in the world than him. He’ll have that house cleaned up, supper on the table, and keep a game of Barbie going on the whole time. And don’t forget about Brutus and Regan—both excellent guard dogs.”

  That didn’t stop Rayna, I thought.

  “She won’t strike twice,” Seth said perceptively. “She’ll be off sniffing after Kaya like a dog on a bone. Louisa is safe, I promise.”

  I didn’t want anything to mess up the life I pictured with Seth and Louisa. Family suppers, back-to-school shopping, first dates, and vacations… I wanted that more than anything. I finally had a taste of a life that felt normal, and it reeled me in hook line and sinker.

  “We`ll stop at the next town. Get some gas and burgers,” he said, giving my fingers a squeeze.

  I gave him a disapproving glance.

  “Or salad,” he said, rolling his eyes. “We just gotta keep it quick, Lisa. We have to catch up to Luke before Rayna does. No doubt she will have an army with her that he won’t be expecting.”

  “Why no cell phones?” I asked, still confused as to why this incredibly easy sort of communication was lost on everyone but me.

  “Dunno. Never thought about it to be honest. Things just moved too fast to get Luke set up with one, and I never bother with the damn things. I don’t want people being able to contact me twenty-four hours a day. That would be a bloody nightmare.”

  “Right. All your friends would drive you nuts,” I teased.

  He gave me a sideways sneer.

  “So, what are we going to do when we find Rayna?” I asked, eyeing the glove box rattling with ammo.

  Her name made him grit his teeth. “Blow her a kiss, and then blow her to bits. No sense leaving her alive.”

  “You know that’s, uh… murder, right?”

  “And you know she won’t stop until an innocent girl is dead, and every second leading up to that death will be horrific. I know this. Her. All she talked about for years was how she would mutilate Kaya when she got a hold of her, and then send her in pieces back to Henry. There is not one single bit of doubt in my mind that’s what she’ll do.”

  The hair on the back of my neck rose. “Why did you marry this bitch?”

  Seth let out a heavy sigh. “Truthfully, I had no choice. Old Carl dumped her on my doorstep one day. He said he was cashing in on a favor I owed him and if I didn’t take Rayna in and hide her from Henry, he would have to murder her. Obviously, I couldn’t have that on my conscience.”

  “Oh?” This was the most information he’d doled out on his ex-wife. “And?” I pressed.

  Seth shifted around uneasily. I let him. It was time he gave me some sort of explanation—we were sharing the same bed, so he could also share his past.

  “She was so pretty,” he said, staring straight ahead at the desolate highway. “So… innocent and heartbroken. Devastated her child had been taken from her and the man she thought was the love of her life wanted her dead. I’m sure she sobbed for three weeks straight. Anyway, Old Carl was a scheming bastard. He got into Rayna’s head. He visited her twice a week, showing her pictures of Kaya growing, of Henry with other women, of the life that should have been hers…and it broke her completely. There was nothing I could do to pull her out of her misery, and believe me, I tried. Old Carl had her where he wanted her. She was an empty shell he filled full of hate, nurturing and feeding and grooming it into something so wicked and sick Rayna became barely recognizable. I stood by and watched while this young woman, once kind and innocent, became solely focused on one thing—destroying Henry Lowen. It completely consumed her, which was exactly what Old Carl wanted.”

  “He sounds like a great guy.”

  Seth shook his head. “I used to think he was. We were best friends. Fishing buddies for years. He just seemed like this grumpy old dude who liked to drink beer and complain about his job. I never imagined he was capable of the things he did.”

  It was pitch black outside now. Seth turned up the heat. “What else?” I asked, hoping he would continue.

  “Well, then came the money. Old Carl started showering Rayna with whatever he could steal from Henry. He filled her pockets and her head with the power that money could bring. That’s when things backfired on him. Rayna was smart. She payed Lowen employees for any information she could get on Henry, squirreling cash away to invest in her dream of creating The Right Choice Group… and suddenly, she didn’t need shelter under my roof anymore. She didn’t need Old Carl, either—and she made sure he knew that.

  “So, just to make a point, and to make sure she didn’t go anywhere, Old Carl marched into my kitchen one Easter Sunday when I was out tending to a sick cow, and plucked her right off a kitchen chair. One minute, she was in my house, the next… gone. For three years, I searched until I eventually found her in a cellar in an abandoned house. Old Carl had kept her alive, of course, but whatever bit of soul she had left, whatever pieces that had remained before this, were obliterated. There was no light in her eyes, and there never was again. I blamed myself for a long time for not stopping Carl back in the beginning, for not torturing him into telling me where she was. And then, I lived in fear he might march into my house and take her from me again. So I did the only thing I could to keep her safe; I married her. I figured I at least owed her that.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I’d thought theirs was just some twisted love story… not this. “Why did marrying her keep her safe from Carl?”

  “Ah. Well, me and Old Carl had an agreement; no matter what we were using each other for, whether it be hauling in a fish, smuggling drugs, or plotting to murder someone, our family must never be hurt or involved. And that would include my wife.”

  I suddenly questioned Seth’s judgement. “And you were friends with someone capable of locking another person in a cell for three years? And… underground drug connections? You were a cop. I don’t—”

  “That’s in my past, Lisa,” he said hurriedly. “I promise on my mother’s soul I am not that person anymore.”

  I stared at him. Hard. His wool coat collar flipped up around his ears cast a shadow on the claw marks from Kaya’s fingernails on his cheek, scars that would forever brand him. I’d seen a change in him since then. Felt it. But knowing what I did now and realizing he was probably leaving out much more, I wondered if I could trust him. I wanted to with all my heart, but—

  “Lisa? You understand why getting rid of Rayna is what we have to do, right? She will never change.”

  I nodded, feeling the pit of my stomach churn. “Yes. I just don’t like the thought of spending more time behind bars is all.”

  Seth laughed, and his hand moved back to mine, patting it soothingly. “I promise that won’t happen. All you have to do is help me find her and then leave everything else up to me.”

  “I know what I signed up for. I’ll do what I have to do for Kaya.”

  “You mean… for Luke,” Seth said intuitively.

  “Uh, yes. Him, too.”

  Seth became lost in thought before pulling out into oncoming traffic to pass a slow-moving motor home. “Your turn to talk. How long have you known him?”

  “Since high school. He uncovered my secrets, and I uncovered his. It connected us. I’d patch him up after fights and sometimes put makeup on his bruises. He’d hide me in his bedroom or come to my rescue when my dad was raging and out for blood. We tried to date, but it never worked out. There was too much ‘life’ getting in the way.”

  Seth nodded like he understood. “Was Luke always uh, you know… so fast?”

  “Yup.” I remembered fondly the times it had been lifesaving. “The only way you’d get to him first was if he’d been drinking. A lot. One ni
ght when were out trying to be boyfriend and girlfriend, there were a couple of dudes he’d beat in a fight sitting a few tables away. They kept sending over drinks, pretending to be buddy-buddy, and I kept warning Luke they were up to no good. Luke, in his ridiculously trusting nature, figured they were just trying to be nice. Fifteen shots of tequila later, when he stumbled out in the parking lot, they tried to take him. When it became clear Luke was not going to win, I stepped in. But I might have stepped in a little too much.”

  “And that’s when you landed yourself in jail for assault?”

  “Well, I had other warrants, too… but yeah. You can do a lot of damage with a crowbar and a bad attitude. Anyway, the bastards deserved it. I have no regrets.”

  “And you risked your freedom to get Louisa back, for him.”

  My chest tightened. “Yes. Well, and for Louisa, too.”

  Seth sighed. “You know, I find it strange you would go to such great lengths for an ex-boyfriend and his sister.”

  Did I detect a hint of jealousy? “Without Luke, I wouldn’t have made it to fourteen.”

  “That and you still love him,” Seth said. A muscle twitched in his jaw.

  There was no sense denying such an obvious truth. “I do. But not in a way you have anything to be concerned about. He has my loyalty and my devotion, but he doesn’t have my heart.” Mushy stuff made Seth squirm and his cheeks redden.

  “What kind of damn salad do you want?” he asked, eagerly changing the subject.

  “Caesar.”

  “Fine. Caesar, it is. And… damn it, Lisa, you have my, uh, heart.”

  What was it about him that made me melt? This older ex-cop with questionable morals and a past that screamed run… The attraction was there, but completely unexplainable.

  I leaned in and kissed him, lingering as long as possible on his scruffy face.

  “What did I do to deserve you?” he said, swerving slightly.

  I laughed. “Pretty much just about everything wrong… that you now get to make right.”

  The sound of metal scraping against pavement pulled me from a fitful sleep. It grew louder and with it came the smell of lemon. And chicken. And… garlic? I was so tired my body ached and my chest hurt, but curiosity and a very empty stomach insisted I sit up.

  I pulled myself upright to see Oliver at the table before a mountain of take-out boxes. The scraping sound was coming from outside. Through parts of the iced-up window I could see the form of a man with a shovel tackling the heavily falling snow. It kept coming, and he kept shoveling. I watched him go down the sidewalk, then back up, over the same spot again and again… He was just doing what he had to do, and so would I—whatever it took to get Kaya back.

  “It’s a winter wonderland out there. Got about four feet of snow and it still keeps coming,” Oliver said, barely glancing up from what he was eating. He motioned me to join him at the table. “Lemon chicken, noodles, and all kinds of sauced-up mystery meat. It’s delicious.”

  In a daze, I plunked myself down across from him in a wobbly chair. It was eight in the evening. I’d slept—or more like had continual nightmares—for thirteen hours. I picked away at something resembling steak and broccoli in one of the containers. I couldn’t tell if it was good or not. My mouth had lost all sense of taste, but my body needed the food, so I forced it down.

  “I had to use your credit card,” Oliver said. He’d showered, and his eyes weren’t so bloodshot. “Put a hundred dollars on it for the grub and to bribe them to deliver in this weather. I’m worried my credit card is being tracked, and I’m low on cash, so…”

  “Yeah, whatever,” I said, noticing my open wallet on the dresser; it was a good thing Seth had set me up with the card. “Obviously you’re feeling better?”

  “Yeah. Quite a bit. The fever is gone, and my head feels like my own again. Anyway, I figured we’d let the highways get cleared and rest some more tonight, then get back at it in the morning.”

  I choked down a piece of steak. “Why don’t we go now?”

  Oliver shook his head as if I’d asked a dumb question. “Cause that’s the plan.”

  “Your plan.”

  “Yeah, that’s right. My plan. You got a problem with it? You’d rather drive through a storm aimlessly and risk hitting the ditch?”

  “You would have a few days ago,” I said.

  This made Oliver flinch. His eyes narrowed on me. “Listen kid, I know what’s best right now, and I have no problem slapping some sense into ya to prove it.”

  “Stop calling me kid,” I said, shoving the food away.

  Oliver’s nostrils flared, and he straightened up in the chair as if ready to fight—but I could tell his anger was forced. He was looking at me the same way I’d looked at him for the last seventeen days—with sympathy and understanding.

  “You wanna have another go round?” he snarled.

  He was a bad actor.

  “Now that I’m better?” he continued. “Shall we just battle to the death and get it over with?”

  This hit my exhausted mind the wrong way, and I laughed out loud.

  Oliver’s eyes grew wide and he feigned being offended…then he laughed, too. A boisterous roar came from him, the sound of it so strange compared to his near death-bed moaning and groaning I’d come accustomed to. I’d been so worried. Now that he was better, a massive weight of responsibility lifted from my shoulders.

  “I still don’t like you,” he said, grinning.

  “Good,” I said. “Because I can’t stand you.”

  Oliver wiped at his eyes. “Ya know, I’m supposed to want to beat you senseless for stealing my girl and all, but I kind of want to thank you for saving my life.”

  His eyes were dark, deep, and kind. All the anger and craziness that had been swirling around in them before… was gone. “You already did thank me.”

  “I did?”

  “Yeah. Before—or after, I don’t remember—you told me all about your pitiful self. Your dog Marvin or Marfin, the goldfish that ate your other fish, your desire to be a hockey player, how much you like Kaya’s butt in yoga pants, and—”

  “It is exquisite,” Oliver said with a sly grin.

  I nodded. “And… you told me about your family and what happened to them.”

  His jaw dropped, and he stared at me in stunned silence.

  “I told you about my family?” he said after a moment, in barely a whisper.

  I could have kept that to myself, but I wanted Oliver to know I understood him, that I knew a part of his past. “Yeah,” I said softly. “I’m sorry for your loss, Oliver.”

  “I’ve never told anyone, ever,” he muttered.

  “You weren’t in control when you did, so don’t beat yourself up over it.”

  He was quiet now, biting his lower lip and staring at his hands. Then he shoved a container of food at me.

  “Eat,” he said, but I knew what he meant.

  I grinned at the big lug. “Yeah. You’re welcome.”

  Oliver cleared his throat. “Anyway, we rest for now. In the morning, we’ll start up the search again. We’ve still got two names to check out. We can hit the closest one first. There’s a Ben Smith just outside the town of Radville. It’s about an hour from here.”

  “There’s a hundred Ben Smiths,” I said dismally.

  “Listen, Sindra managed to find Kaya, so we can, too. Have faith, Luke,” Oliver said.

  Faith. I’d held on to that for so long when Louisa went missing. Prayed, searched, and came up empty handed after following every single crumb left behind. It never really did much for me. How could Oliver have faith after everything that had happened? How could he still chase after a girl that wanted nothing to do with him? Where was he mustering up all this strength from? I wouldn’t quit until my heart stopped, and I would search for her until I died trying. Nothing would stop me. But faith? I didn’t have much of that left.

  “What if when we do find her?” I asked tentatively. “If she took off to protect us and
there is no other guy, what then? Do we come up with an agreement to divide our time with her? You get her on weekends, and I get weekdays?”

  Oliver put down his fork. I could tell that he’d given this a lot of thought. “I don’t expect to get her back. She’s in love with you.”

  His statement hung so heavy in the air I could barely breathe. There was no anger about it, either. He was only stating the facts.

  “Then why all this?” I asked after I’d found my voice.

  “Because no matter how she feels about me or you, she’s… Kaya. I love her. All I care about is her being safe and living a long and happy life. If she chooses you to do that with… then so be it. I’ve come to terms with where I stand. I know I don’t… uh… own her. That said, though, I am still committed to her completely.”

  I was taken aback by his selflessness. And impressed. There were no words. So we exchanged a nod of a deep, mutual understanding instead.

  When Seth and Lisa blew into the motel with the storm raging behind them, my knees practically buckled in relief at the sight of their familiar faces. After a friendly hug from Seth, and a squeeze I had to pry myself out of from Lisa, they both stood, blinking rapidly and taking in the view of the shabby room—and my supposed arch enemy taking up wall space next to the bathroom.

  Oliver didn’t say a word. Or move. He just stood there, expressionless and foreboding, while my friends dusted snow from their coats.

  “Wow, what a dump,” Lisa said, warily noting Oliver in the corner.

  I took her coat and draped it over the back of a chair. “This is a palace compared to the last place we were in.”

  Lisa’s eyebrows drifted up into her hairline. “We? As in you and…” She eyed Oliver carefully. “Him?”

  Seth’s hand was hovering over the gun at his waist. He assessed the table covered in empty food containers, the bed that had been slept in and the other that hadn’t—and I wondered what he was thinking.

  “Oliver and I are on the same side. We’re working together,” I said.