Sharks, dolphins, shark-killing dolphins—and there would not be any cages? Snorkeling was one thing—usually in nice shallow water with the fresh air just a few inches away. Diving meant that I would have to rely on an oxygen tank for my air supply. What if it was faulty? What if it broke somehow?
Max didn’t seem to notice the absolute freak-out that was occurring behind my tight smile. Instead, he began to speak with the instructor and survey the equipment. Maybe now was the time to tell Max that there was no way I was going to dive anywhere but a swimming pool.
Max turned around to face me. His smile was so wide I could count his teeth.
“Isn’t this great? We’re going to see such amazing things. What an adventure, right?”
“Oh yes, it’s an adventure.” I nodded.
A tall, slender man walked out of an office and smiled at us.
“Welcome—I hoped you would get here soon.”
“Sorry for the delay.” Max frowned.
“It looks like you went for a swim.” The instructor eyed him for a moment. “Everything okay?”
“I might have fallen out of my kayak.”
“Ah.” He laughed. “Well, don’t worry, soon enough you’ll be very wet. So are you both ready to see what it’s like below the surface?”
“Do you offer a snorkeling package?” I smiled.
“Of course, but you signed up for open diving. Isn’t that what you want?” He looked between Max and me.
“Yes, it is.” Max glanced over at me. “Right?”
I squirmed and wondered if I should be honest. I could lie to save Max’s feelings, but if I did, I’d eventually have to tell him the truth when I refused to get off the boat.
“I’m not so sure, Max. This seems a little too dangerous to me.”
“Many people are frightened at first, but I can assure you it’s perfectly safe.” The instructor smiled.
I couldn’t help but think that he didn’t get paid if we chickened out. Wouldn’t that influence his profession of safety?
“Sammy, just give it a chance. I’m sure you’re going to like it.”
I bit into my bottom lip.
“I’ll just give you two a minute to talk about it.” The instructor nodded at Max as he stepped back into the office.
“I’m sorry, Max, I just don’t think that I can do this.”
“Sammy, just think of it like this…it’s another item you can check off your bucket list.”
“But it isn’t on my bucket list because—well, you know—sharks, breathing, and don’t forget about the dolphins.”
“Sammy.” Max rested his hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes. “I’d never ask you to do something that I didn’t think you would enjoy.”
“I’m not going to enjoy this.”
“I think you will.”
“I think you’re wrong.”
“I’m not.” He smiled and kissed me.
“No, no, you’re not going to con me with—”
He kissed me again and wrapped his arm around my waist to pull me close. I melted against him. He broke the kiss and raised an eyebrow.
“So let’s just get through the class and when it comes time to get in the water, you can decide. I’m not going to force you to do anything. But it couldn’t hurt to take the class, right?”
“Okay.” I sighed. “For you.”
“It’s your bucket list.”
“Apparently it’s ours now.” I laughed.
“I hope so.” He kissed my cheek.
The instructor stepped out of the office.
“Are we still on?” He smiled at us.
“Yes, we’re going to take it one step at a time.”
“Great, let’s get started on the class.” The instructor led us into a small room.
Chapter 11
As the dive instructor began to detail what we’d be doing, my mind spun with every new revelation. He pointed out all the equipment that we would use. To me, it looked similar to wearing a big rock on my back. How would I be able to swim up out of the water? My arms were already tired from kayaking.
Max asked all the right questions, while I stared, dazed, at the assortment of devices. My mind filled with images of being in deep dark water and relying on an oxygen tank to breathe.
“Wow, I can’t wait.” Max looked over at me. “It’s like getting to visit another world.”
“A world without oxygen.”
“We’ll have our tanks.” His smile faded as he looked into my eyes. “You’re not excited at all, are you?”
“I’m trying to be, Max, I really am. But I’m a little frightened.”
“It’s okay.” The instructor walked back toward us. “Many people are intimidated at first. To think of diving so deep and the wild creatures you might see—it can be a little overwhelming. But I never take anyone out on the water until they are fully prepared and I’m certain they have the skills they need to be safe. We start our lessons out in a pool in the garage. There you can get used to wearing the equipment, breathing under water, and swimming with the flippers. If, after that, you’re still uncomfortable, then we can work on some other techniques to improve your comfort level.”
He led us through a door that brought us into the large garage. Inside was a large pool. It looked deeper than it was wide. He walked us through some techniques, then demonstrated how we would dive off the side of the boat and into the water.
“Okay, it’s your turn.”
Those words made my skin crawl with fear. I sat on the edge of the pool with the tank on my back and stared down into the clear water. I could see the bottom. I knew it wasn’t that deep. I didn’t think that this practice was going to prepare me for what we were going to face once we were out on the open water.
Still, despite my misgivings, when the instructor signaled, I dove in.
Max followed right beside me.
The instructor floated down to the bottom of the pool and gestured for us to join him.
Max made it to the bottom of the pool. I swam down, but my flippers kept slapping each other. I floated up a few times before I made it to the bottom. Even though I had the oxygen tank, I still held my breath.
It wasn’t until Max reached out and took my hand that I drew my first breath under water. It was strange, and as bubbles filled the water around me, I wondered if I might be dreaming.
After some time the instructor pointed to the surface, and we followed his direction.
As soon as I broke the surface, my anxiety level dropped.
“See, not too bad, right?” The instructor smiled at me.
“Sure.” I nodded.
“She’s lying.” Max sighed. “Don’t worry about it, Sammy. We don’t have to do this.”
The moment I heard the disappointment in his voice, I realized that not doing it wasn’t an option. Max had stuck beside me through some very turbulent times. He’d gone on every adventure that I’d asked him to. This was his chance to do something that he loved and he wanted me to be part of it. Even if it did terrify me, I was going to be brave for him.
“No, I want to do it.” I pulled myself up out of the pool and climbed over the side. “But let’s go now before I lose my nerve.”
“Are you sure, Sammy? I don’t want you to do this if you don’t want to.”
“We’re going, Max.” I gave him a brief hug and looked into his eyes. “No argument.”
He smiled and gave me a quick kiss as the instructor led us to a boat. There was a driver waiting for us.
On the ride out across the water, I tried not to lose my determination. The water was beautiful, but also deep, and the further we went, the more frightened I became. When the engine cut off, my heart began to race. The instructor checked our equipment, gave us a few final rules to follow, then set Max up to dive into the water.
When it was my turn, my legs shook.
“Don’t worry, you’ll be just fine.” The instructor smiled at me. “Trust me, if you miss out on this, you’re going to regret it.�
��
I took his words to heart, got into position, and before I could change my mind, launched myself off the boat.
Chapter 12
The first few minutes of swimming down into the water were almost too much for me. I had to fight every urge to head back for the surface. But seeing Max’s flippers ahead of me inspired me to continue.
It wasn’t long before my fear began to leave me, as there was so much to see that I didn’t have time to think about being afraid. Surrounded by the most colorful fish, I began to understand why Max had added this to my bucket list. It was something that I might never have considered doing, but it truly gave me a window into an entirely different world.
Beneath the waves, money didn’t exist, social pressure, self-doubt—none of that bothered these perfect beings. They lived based on instincts and desire. They didn’t need a bucket list to figure out what they wanted to experience in life.
As we swam further down I caught sight of an expanse of coral. It was a myriad of colors, shapes, and textures that I doubted could ever be recreated above the water. I forgot all about the sensation of being trapped, the worry about running out of air, and the possibility of a shark sneaking up behind me. Immersed in such beauty my only thoughts were of how I could communicate this experience to the people who weren’t there to experience it with me.
Max drew closer to me and gestured to a large fish with bright blue fins and an almost square face. I smiled at the sight of it and tried to commit it to memory.
We moved further through the water, and the variety of sea life became even more exotic. Despite the fact that moments before I’d entered the water I’d been filled with anxiety over the excursion, now I dreaded ever leaving the underwater paradise. My heart filled with gratitude for Max, because if it weren’t for his pushing me, I would have missed out on so much.
When the instructor pointed upward I wanted to argue, but instead I followed after him and Max toward the surface of the water. The way the sunlight filtered through the water dazzled me.
When I broke the surface it surprised me how the sky looked so different. Even though we’d only been under water for a short time, it felt like a much longer journey.
The instructor climbed up onto the boat, then reached down to help me up, then Max. Once we were all back on the boat with our equipment off I couldn’t stop gazing at the sky.
“Are you okay, Sammy?” Max sat down beside me as the boat’s engine roared.
“Yes.” I smiled and wound my fingers through his. “Yes, I am.”
“You haven’t stopped staring at the sky since we got on the boat. Was being under the water that scary?”
“It wasn’t scary at all.” I blinked back tears and looked away from the sky toward him. Even he looked different as I studied every feature of his face. “It was amazing.”
“It was, wasn’t it?” His eyes crinkled at the edges and his smile spread wide. “I knew it would be stunning, but it was so much more than that. There aren’t words.”
“I’m going to have to find some. I can’t keep this experience to myself.”
“I’m so glad you enjoyed it. I was a little worried that you would never forgive me for dragging you down there.”
“Actually, I’ll never be able to repay you. It was just what I needed. A new perspective. Everything looks so different to me now. Does it look different to you too?”
“I’m not sure what you mean.” Max glanced around, then looked back at me.
“I haven’t figured out how to explain it yet, but it’s as if I’ve been given a new set of eyes, or maybe my old eyes are finally seeing clearly.”
“Interesting.” Max squeezed my hand. “We should talk about that over some wine tonight.”
“No.” I shook my head. “No wine.”
“Why not?” He pouted.
“Because after seeing what I did under the water, I finally get it. I’ve had a hard time maintaining my diet—my healthy lifestyle—not because I’m not capable, but because I had no idea what I was doing to myself. I had no idea how valuable my body was.”
Max squinted his eyes and leaned closer to me. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I am made of all of that beauty that we saw down there—and so are you. I’ve been putting things into my body that are full of toxins, chemicals, and who knows what else. I’ve been neglecting my body because I don’t realize that it’s this perfect amazing construction of cells and genes and what else?” I shook my head. “Okay, I’m not a biology major, but the point is that everything we saw down there—it’s pure, untouched by the pressures and traumas of life. Maybe the reason why I can’t recognize and accept my own beauty is because I’ve allowed it to become polluted with everything that this world throws at me.”
“No, Sammy, there’s nothing about you that’s polluted.” Max shook his head.
“I don’t mean it that way exactly. I don’t mean it as if there’s something wrong with me. That’s the new perspective I seem to have found. There’s nothing wrong with me. The only thing that’s imperfect about me is the way I see myself and the way I treat myself.”
“I can agree with that.” He smiled.
I trailed my fingertips along his cheeks. “And you’re perfect too.”
His cheeks flushed and he ducked his head away from me. “If you say so.”
“I do, Max. I do.”
As the boat pulled back into the dock my nerves sung with every sensation—from the brush of the breeze to the warmth of the sun, and even the caress of Max’s hand as he helped me off of the boat. The impact on me was so intense that I had to steady myself on Max’s arm when we stepped onto the dock.
“Sammy, are you sure that you’re okay?” Max frowned as he looked into my eyes.
Before I could reply, our instructor beat me to it.
“Don’t worry, some people experience a bit of dizziness or wobbly legs after their first dive. I’m sure it will wear off in a few hours, but if it keeps up you can stop at one of the clinics just to get your blood pressure and such checked out.”
“Blood pressure?” Max’s eyes widened.
“Nothing to worry about, I promise.” The instructor smiled. “Now that you two are certified, if you want to go for another dive, I’m available. You’ll need to do a few more guided dives before you can even consider going out on your own.”
“We’ll try to get at least one more in before we go back to Ubud.” Max offered his hand to him. “Thanks for the lesson.”
“Any time. You two were wonderful to work with.”
“You too.” I smiled at him.
Max slung his arm around my shoulders and we walked together along the dock.
Chapter 13
When Max and I made it back to the dive shop we dried off and changed out of our swimsuits.
I expected to feel different when I put my clothes back on. Where was the insecurity about how they fit or how they looked?
I smoothed down my top and saw the roll of my stomach. It wasn’t flat, even though I’d been working to get that toned tummy that was on every magazine and television show. Only now I didn’t care that it wasn’t flat. It was me and I was beautiful.
As we walked out into the community I noticed that everything appeared a bit shinier.
“I’m starving. Do you want to grab some lunch?” Max tilted his head toward a small shop that featured a few greasy dishes.
“I could definitely eat.” I smiled.
As we approached the shop the smell of the greasy food made me stop in my tracks. “But not that.”
“We can have one splurge, don’t you think?”
“It isn’t a splurge. It’s putting toxic junk in my body. I’d rather we didn’t eat there. Why don’t we find a cafe that offers something like that fruit salad we had at Wayan’s?”
“If that’s what you want.” He nodded. “I’m proud of you for sticking to our plan, Sammy.”
“It’s funny, it’s like I can’t not sti
ck to the plan anymore. I’m craving fruits and vegetables, not grease.”
“That’s great. Here, this place looks like it will work.” He pointed to a small outdoor cafe.
“Looks good.”
We stepped inside to order our food and I noticed that everything I could smell was sweet. It might have been the fruit in a basket on the counter, or it might have been the fresh-cut flowers on the tables; whatever it was, it only made me hungrier. I ordered an ice water with fresh lemon and a fruit salad along with a small serving of chicken. Max ordered a salad with chicken on top.
As we ate our food I glanced up at that perfect sky again. For once, I didn’t feel like I needed to hide myself while I ate. I smiled at people who passed by, and took big bites of my fruit salad. I didn’t even care when juice ran down my chin.
Max laughed and offered me a napkin.
I wiped away the juice and tossed the napkin at him.
“Oh, you’re starting a war now?” He raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you want to do that in front of all of these people?”
“I don’t care who sees, Max. We need more fun in our lives.”
“I agree.” He balled up the napkin and threw it back at me.
We engaged in an epic battle that drew a few sidelong stares, and maybe more than that, but I didn’t know because I didn’t care.
By the time we both surrendered, my stomach hurt from laughing so long and hard. We finished our late lunch, then headed back for our kayaks.
On the trip back to the island I was aware that my arms were still sore. But the ache didn’t bother me anymore. Instead, I knew I was feeding my body what it needed—exercise, fresh air, and sunshine. With every stroke of the paddle, I imagined my body welcoming the rejuvenation that it craved.
I coasted onto the sand of the island’s shore with the same peaceful mentality. The beauty of the island filled me with excitement over what the next day might hold.
Max tugged the kayaks up onshore and placed them back onto the shelves where they were stored.
“What a wonderful day.” He yawned, then stretched his arms above his head.
I watched the fluid beauty of his muscles as they rippled. “You’re so gorgeous, Max.”
Sammy in Bali (Single Wide Female Travels #7) Page 4