He paused and looked over at me. “You think so?”
“Yes, I do.” I walked up to him and looked into his eyes. “Every little thing about you is beautiful.”
He gazed back into my eyes. “I feel the same way about you.”
I could see the light in his eyes. Suddenly I understood that he was telling the truth. There was no doubt in my mind. For years he’d looked at me with that same light in his eyes. As I’d harbored distaste for the way I looked and even jealousy of the women he’d dated, he’d looked at me just like that. As I struggled through a journey of self-discovery and tried my hardest to find a way to love and accept myself, he’d looked at me—just like that—always, just like that.
“Sammy, what’s wrong, sweetheart?”
As a tear slipped from the corner of my eye he brushed his lips along the curve of my cheek to catch it.
“Are you upset with me for taking you out scuba diving today? You can tell me.”
“No, Max, I’m not upset with you for that at all. I loved every second of it. I just realized that you’re telling me the truth.”
“About what?” His brows knitted.
“About loving me—all of me.”
“Oh, Sammy.” He kissed my forehead and wrapped his arms around me. “I wish you never doubted that.”
“I’m glad I did.”
“Why?”
“Because now I feel how sweet it is not to. Max, I can see myself now, the way that you have always seen me. Thank you so much for never losing faith in me.”
“I never will.” He kissed me with a light and gentle caress of his lips.
When we returned to the cottage, we feasted on fruits and vegetables again. The flavors were even sweeter than I remembered, and I took my time with each bite. As the fruit entered my body I imagined all of the ways it benefited me. It was the nectar of life, the sweetest part of nature, and right there for me to enjoy.
After dinner and a shower I gazed out the window at the starlit sky.
“Max, let’s go for a walk. I want to soak up some starlight.”
“I love that idea.”
Chapter 14
I opened the door of the cottage, and Max and I stepped outside together. When my bare feet hit the sand each little grain kissed the soles of my feet. I paused for a moment to savor the sensation.
“Are you still feeling dizzy? Maybe we should have stopped by a clinic before we came back to the island.”
“No, Max, I’m not sick.” I brushed my thumb along the back of his hand.
“Are you sure? I don’t think they can get an ambulance out to this island.”
“Maybe not, but we don’t have to worry about that because I’m fine. I feel better than I have—maybe ever.”
“Really?” He tipped his head against mine. “You’re not saying that just to make me feel better, are you?”
I met his eyes and smiled. “No, I’m not. I’m so glad we’re spending time together. I think I could stay here forever.”
“Aha, but we have another book signing to get back to.”
“Another book signing.” I nodded and looked out over the water. The moonlight created a trail of ivory along the gleaming surface of the water. Was it pointing right at me? “I wonder if I’m on the right path with that.”
“What do you mean? You love the books and the book signings.”
“I do, but is it enough? Is it what I really want?”
“I think it’s a lot to be proud of, and you have a real talent for writing. Why wouldn’t that be enough?”
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful for it. But sometimes I think it’s not the end of my story. There’s more. There’s another step, there’s something…”
“If there is, I’m sure that it will come to you at the perfect moment.”
“I agree. I think the struggle is far behind me—far behind both of us. We’re really living the dream, Max.”
“Yes, we are.”
I dipped my toes in the water and wondered what it would be like if our entire world was made up of people that followed their own instincts instead of being told what to do. Would it be as beautiful as what I’d seen under the ocean? Would we all be more vibrant?
Max stuck his toes in the water beside mine. “It doesn’t have to just be one dream, you know. We have years ahead of us, Sammy.”
I smiled at the thought.
Max pulled me close and we watched as the moon rose higher in the sky.
When I woke the next morning, that strange tingle still coursed through my nerves. I noticed the way the light lapped at the hardwood floors. I felt drunk on the scent of Max’s as I nestled my nose into the crook of his neck. I couldn’t resist exploring the silk of his skin as I memorized the pattern of each breath he took.
He smiled in his sleep. Then his eyes fluttered open. His smile grew as he looked at me. “That’s a nice way to wake up.”
“It’s a new day, a new adventure.” I kissed the side of his neck.
“Always.”
“Are we going to go diving again today?”
“I thought we could take a boat out—a real boat, not a kayak or a flip-flop.”
“By ourselves?”
“Yes. What do you think?” He smiled. “We can fish.”
“I don’t know about fishing, but I would love to spend some time out on a boat with you. I’ll go to the market and get us some things for lunch. We can have a wonderful time out there in the sun.”
“That sounds perfect.” He stretched. “But first, come back here.”
“Hm?” I turned back toward him in time for him to sit up and grab me around the waist. He tugged me back down onto the bed with him.
As we curled up together I savored the sensation of his warmth all around me. My nerves were still in hyperdrive. Every touch, every caress seemed to be sending me into a place of euphoria. This was Max, the love of my life, who desired nothing more than to touch me.
I returned the favor, and soon whatever plans we had for the morning were long forgotten for the sake of connecting with one another.
When we did actually emerge from the cottage, the beautiful sky greeted me as it had the day before. I stared at it for some time. To think that something so miraculous had always been just above me made me wonder what else I’d been missing out on.
We kayaked over to the mainland again, and while Max stopped into a boat rental office, I headed down the street toward a large market.
Despite the easy pace of most people on the street, the moment I stepped into the market all of that changed. Voices echoed from every direction in different languages as people haggled over prices. It didn’t seem to bother anyone that they bumped into one another and barely offered an apology.
Swept into the flow of the crowd, I passed by many colorful fruits and vegetables. Now and then I fought the tide to get to a few things I wanted to try. I made sure that I had at least two custard apples.
Every scent that greeted my nostrils was burned into my memory. The sounds of the people, the friction of cloth against my skin as others brushed past, even the baleful cries of nearby dogs became a whirlwind of experiences for me.
Things that might have annoyed me before now caught my attention as a novelty. The more I worked my way toward the end of the market, the more remarkable were the items I discovered there.
I selected a few things for Max, a few for friends back home, and lots of treats for us to share on the boat. It didn’t even occur to me to grab a cup of coffee or some junk food to munch on. I wanted to only put the freshest, cleanest things available into my body.
When I emerged from the market, two bags of groceries filled my hands and another bag of souvenirs dangled from my wrist. My cell phone rang, and I guessed it would be Max. I found a bench to rest my items on and sat down beside them.
I called Max back.
“Where are you? I’ve got the boat rented.”
“I’m at the end of the marketplace. I’ll meet you a
t the office.”
“No, just walk down toward the dock. I’ll meet you there.”
“I got us lots of goodies!”
“Excellent.” He laughed as he hung up the phone.
I loved that we could both share an enthusiasm for healthy living. Still, a part of me wondered how it was that I seemed to have experienced such a transformation under the water, while Max didn’t seem to have any of the lingering effects himself.
Chapter 15
When I reached the boat I was surprised by the light sound of some of my favorite music, along with Max holding a lovely bouquet of fresh flowers.
“I thought this might brighten up our fishing excursion.” He reached out and took my hand as I stepped onto the boat.
“It’s wonderful, Max.” I sniffed the flowers, then hugged him.
He kissed my forehead and we swayed for a moment to the rhythm of the water.
“I used to be so worried that we would lose this,” I murmured, my lips nestled into his neck.
“Lose what?”
“This connection that we have. That life—the years that go by, the changes that take place—would somehow rob us of this.”
He frowned and looked into my eyes. “I worry about that too. I know that there are changes ahead of us—big ones—but I have to admit that everything is so perfect right now, a part of me doesn’t want anything to change.”
“But things were perfect a few months ago and a few months before that.” I smiled. “Things have changed, but we’ve changed with them, and I think we’re more connected than we’ve ever been.”
“I can agree with that. But I look at other relationships—our friends having kids, buying houses, being the types of grown-ups we’re all supposed to be—and I wonder if that lifestyle would suffocate us. I’m sorry.” He frowned. “I probably shouldn’t be telling you all this.”
“Why not?” I drew him down on the seat of the boat beside me. “We should be comfortable talking about these things together.”
“Because I don’t want you to think that I don’t want any of those things—with you. I’m just a little apprehensive about them.”
“So am I, Max—or at least I was. But I’m not any more.”
“What changed?” He took my hands in his.
“Something about that dive we took. I don’t know exactly—seeing that untouched world, it just got through to me. We don’t have to worry so much. Nature takes its course on its own if we allow it. Maybe all the planning and worrying is the reason we don’t get to the places we’re meant to be.”
“I agree with going with the flow, but there are some big choices that can’t be changed once you make them.”
“That’s true, but as long as we follow our instincts, I think whatever choices we make can lead to the perfect experience—just like yesterday. If I hadn’t been so worried about things, I would have been excited about the dive. As it turned out, it was one of the most memorable experiences of my life. If I hadn’t gotten past my fear—thanks to you—I would have missed out on something that’s changed my entire perspective.”
“I’m glad it was so powerful for you.”
“I’m still buzzing from it.”
“Buzzing? Do you think we need to get you checked out?”
“No, Max. I’m fine. I feel more alive than ever. Maybe it’s the change in diet, or how active we’ve been, or maybe it really is the dive, but it seems like everything makes sense to me all of a sudden.”
“Okay, but if you start to feel anything else you need to let me know, alright?”
“I will.” I smiled at him.
“I’ll get us out to where we can have some privacy, then we can have some lunch.”
As Max headed back to the controls of the boat I thought about his confession. I loved the fact that he was able to tell me the truth, and for once it didn’t send me reeling off into a place of insecurity. Max had his concerns and fears too. That was normal and healthy, but the fact that he felt safe telling me them let me know that he trusted me.
As the water whirred past I stared down at it. I thought about what was hidden beneath its surface—such beauty, such perfection. Hadn’t that been the case with everyone I’d ever interacted with? Every face I saw, every new person I met—they all had that beauty and perfection hidden beneath the surface. If only we were all able to recognize it, our world might be a very different place.
“You’re so quiet.” Max rubbed his hand along my back. “Are you doing okay? Still feeling a little wobbly?”
“No. I feel solid for the first time—maybe ever.”
“Solid?”
“As if I found my truth.” I smiled. “As if I finally understand what I’ve been looking for all these years.”
“Really? Tell me about it.” He powered down the motor.
We were out in the middle of the water, with very few boats around us. When he turned to look at me the sun danced across his hair and face as if he were its canvas.
“It’s hard to explain. I’ve been trying to figure out just how to put it into words, because I want to include it in my next blog post, or maybe talk about it at the book signing. I’m just not sure how to say it.”
“Just relax, it’ll come to you.” He rubbed my hand and smiled. “You’ll find just the right way to say it when you’re ready.”
“I guess you’re right.” I laughed. “Want some lunch?”
“Yes, I do.” He patted his stomach. “I could eat everything on this boat, I think.”
“Well, good thing I brought lots of supplies.”
I spread a blanket out across the bench seat of the boat. Then I began to lay out our picnic. Each piece of fruit, each vegetable, and the freshly baked bread thrilled my senses. Even the sun on my skin, as warm as it was, inspired a sense of joy in me.
Chapter 16
We shared our feast and commented on the different flavors that we were enjoying. I considered where we might be able to buy some of the produce when we returned home.
“Home.” Max laughed a little. “At this point that seems more foreign than any place we’ve been.”
“We’re travelers now, I suppose. Practically the whole world has become our home.”
“It’s been amazing.”
“And it’s not over yet.” I leaned back and looked up at the wide-open sky. “Japan—I wonder what it will be like?”
“Far different than Bali, I think.”
“Me too.”
As we finished our meal the sun blazed above us.
“Want to go for a swim?” Max wiped some sweat from his brow.
“I didn’t wear my bathing suit.”
“Oh well.” He tossed off his shirt and began to shimmy out of his shorts.
“Max, no way.”
“Is underwear any different than a bathing suit?” He shrugged. “I’m going in. You can either join me willingly or I can just toss you over the side.”
“Not funny, Max.”
He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “Not joking. Remember when you said we needed more fun in our lives? Less boundaries, less worries about what might happen? We’re out here on the water, with no one else in sight and we are hot. So why don’t we go for a swim?”
I thought about his words for a moment. He was right about the need to cool off. My instincts were telling me to jump right in. But what if…
“You’re right!” I suddenly stood up. “There’s no reason not to swim.” I shed my shirt and my shorts. Even though the bra and underpants I wore left little to the imagination, they still covered a bit more than a common bikini would.
As we jumped into the water I laughed out loud at the rush of coolness hit my skin.
Max swam right over to me and scooped me up in his arms. “This is life—enjoying every moment.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
We swam close to the boat, with Max always tugging me back toward it. Even though he was ready to live adventurously, he was not about to let the bo
at drift away.
As enthusiastic as I was to swim and have fun, I got tired pretty quickly. I’d been doing more than usual, and the detox from sugar and processed food seemed to be affecting me a bit. I decided to stretch out and float for a while.
The water rocked me into a very peaceful place. It wasn’t until I heard a shout that I even remembered there was still a world around me. I thought maybe I’d drifted too far from the boat and moved into a position to swim. But the boat and Max were only a few feet away.
“Sammy, watch out!” Max reached for my hand.
I looked in the direction he was looking in and saw a boat headed straight for us. All at once all the fear that had dissipated from my body slammed back into me full force. All my muscles seized with panic, and despite the fact that I knew I needed to move, I just couldn’t. I could hear Max swimming toward me and the man on the boat as he shouted at me.
As the boat neared me, a hand thrust down from the side of it. Without a second thought I grabbed it. In seconds I was pulled up onto the boat of a stranger, clad only in my now nearly see-through underpants.
Max ducked out of the way and the boat barely grazed ours.
I stared up at the man in a daze. He was a mountain—of muscles, flesh, and hair—lots of hair. I could have mistaken him for a bear if it weren’t for his tanned skin and his white teeth as he grinned at me.
“That was close.”
“Yes, it was.” I sat up. Only then did I remember how exposed I was. I tried to cover myself.
“Sorry, I lost control of her—of the boat. I tried to warn you, but I guess you didn’t hear me.”
“No, I didn’t. You should be more careful.”
“I usually am, but this boat has a mind of its own sometimes. Anyway, all that matters is that you’re safe.”
“You’re right.” I smiled with relief. I’d been a few seconds away from being squashed between boats or even trapped beneath them. Even though I could have been angry at him for coming so close to us, I chose to be grateful that no harm had come to me or anyone.
“Sammy, are you okay?” Max shouted from our boat.
Sammy in Bali (Single Wide Female Travels #7) Page 5