Sammy in Bali (Single Wide Female Travels #7)

by Lillianna Blake

  One of the women in the audience raised her hand.

  I recognized her as the woman that I’d spoken to in the sauna earlier in the day. “Yes?”

  “I think your words sound great, but how do they apply to real life? It’s not as if I can just decide not to go to work.”

  “You’re right, but you can decide how you’re going to experience your job. You might be bored with what you do at work on a daily basis. Is there a way that you can make it more interesting? Is there something about your job that you do enjoy that you could make a bigger part of your day? What if you change your attitude from ‘I have to go to this boring job’ to ‘I’m going to keep working at this job while I figure out what my true passion is and create an opportunity to live it’? There are so many ways to open your heart to life and just let it flow in. It’s not about throwing caution to the wind, but releasing yourself from the fear that holds you back from trusting your instincts. If your job is boring, that’s life telling you something—that’s your true self crying out for a little attention.”

  “I’ve never considered that.” She smiled and nodded. “Thank you.”

  I continued by reading an excerpt from my book that I thought applied to the conversation. After that I opened the floor to the audience, and we discussed our thoughts and theories about life and how to follow our true passions. I signed books as the people in the audience filed out.

  Wayan walked over to me and smiled as the last fan walked out the door. “That was amazing, Samantha—more than I ever expected. Would you stay a while longer and discuss the topic with my me and my family?”

  “Sure, I’d love to. Is that okay with you, Max?”

  “Yes, I’d love to get into this conversation too.”

  We gathered around a table near the smoothie bar and shared healthy snacks as we discussed what I’d experienced and the others shared about similar experiences that they’d had.

  Wayan met my eyes across the table before she spoke. “I can tell you that being a parent really teaches you to trust your instincts. It seems so easy when you’re looking in from the outside: you set rules, you set boundaries, and magically your kids will listen and follow right along. But the reality is that kids are designed to push, to explore, to test, and to be curious about everything around them. It’s a struggle, but a very beautiful one. Since I became a mother, I’ve learned more about myself than I ever knew before.”

  “That’s interesting.” Max sat forward some. “I just figured you can read a few books, try out a few techniques, and that’s all you need. But I guess it’s a bit more complicated than that.” He laughed lightly.

  “Much more.” Wayan’s husband laughed. “We’re all parents here.” He nodded to his mother-in-law and her mother as well. “Generations of parents, and we don’t have it all figured out. I’m not sure how anyone else in the world knows enough about parenting to write a book on it. But I can tell you that, even if there were a book, I’d probably still parent my way. I listen to my kids, I learn about them and I change how I interact with each one based on what I know about their individuality—just like I do with adults.”

  Max nodded and glanced over at me with a smile. “I guess we have a lot to learn. Good thing we have plenty of time.”

  “Yes.” I laughed.

  Even though Wayan was much younger than me, she offered a great amount of insight into what it was like to be a mother. I no longer saw her as a young mother, but just as a mother, whom I could turn to for advice if I ever needed it.

  As we left the shop that night and waited for a taxi to appear, Max slid his hand into mine. I smiled at the sensation of each one of his fingers wrapping around mine. It was that little motion that reminded me that he was always at my side, no matter what turns life took.

  “I learned a lot tonight, Sammy.”

  “You did?”

  “Yes. I finally understand what you experienced under the water. I really thought you might need medical attention for a little while there.” He laughed. “But I get it now. You felt a deeper connection with everything, including yourself. I hope I experience that one day soon.”

  “I’m sure you will.”

  A taxi pulled to the side of the road, but Max held me back. “Just a minute. That isn’t the only thing I learned. I learned that you can’t parent with logic and boundaries alone. You have to parent from the heart. The way you see children, the way Wayan embraces hers—I get it now. I want you to know that if we do decide to have a child, I’m not going to do anything to squash their spirit. You can trust that.”

  “I do, Max.” I smiled. “I saw the way you held the baby tonight. I know what an amazing father you will be—I have no doubt about that. I also know that even if we have disagreements, you and I will be able to work them out together.”

  “Good.” He kissed my forehead. “Now let’s go, we have to get our rest. We have a few days left to play in Bali, then we’re off to Japan to celebrate our anniversary. Can you believe that it’s been a year?”

  “I can, and it’s been the best year of my life, Max. I can’t wait to share the rest of them with you.”

  As he leaned in for a kiss, the taxi driver leaned on his horn.

  We both jumped, bumped teeth, and laughed.

  Max pulled me into the taxi, then kissed me again.

  As every sense within me was awakened by his affection, I remembered just how simple and beautiful life was.

  Bali had been an experience that I knew I’d never forget.

  Dear Reader,

  The Single Wide Female and B.I.G. Girls Club books are written for every woman out there who has struggled with their weight, self-esteem and any number of issues that we all face as we work to become the best versions of ourselves that we can be.

  They are meant to be light-hearted and fun, but I do hope that they will inspire you—to REALLY live your life to the fullest, loving yourself completely as you do so.

  If you enjoy Sammy in Bali, I’d appreciate it if you would take a moment to leave an honest review here:

  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01KGJPJEG/

  And…

  ** I have a FREE book for you! **

  Wanna know what inspired Sammy to write her bucket list? Visit my website below and get your complimentary copy of “Sammy’s Big Plan!”

  LilliannaBlake.com

  Enjoy!

  Sincerely,

  Lillianna

  P.S. Also be sure to see the previews following this page for introductions to additional series by Lillianna Blake.

  Coming Soon!

  Sammy in Japan (Single Wide Female Travels, Book 8)

  * To be notified, be sure you’re on the mailing list at LilliannaBlake.com

  - Signing up for the free book there puts you on the mailing list.

  Please enjoy the following preview for

  To Love Again (Forty and Free, Book 1)

  Chapter 1

  Every wrinkle met its match with the firm pressure and glide of her palm. Even though there were very few wrinkles in the shirt, Nicole was determined to make sure that there were none. Her hand trembled as she swept it over the next wrinkle.

  How was she ever going to accept the idea that her children now had another mother in their lives?

  She glanced over at the suitcase beside her. It was piled up with more clothes than any ten-year-old girl could possibly need for a two-week trip. But Nicole needed for everything to be there. In the back of her mind, she recognized her attempt to prove that she was, and had always been, a good mother—but that didn’t stop her from smoothing out the last wrinkle.

  She set the folded shirt into the top of the suitcase and stood up from her daughter’s bed.

  So much had changed in the last year in unexpected ways. Perhaps—as some of her friends claimed—she should have seen it coming, but she didn’t. Divorce had hit her like a freight train and plowed right through her happily ever after.

  Only—if she was being honest with herself—i
t hadn’t been exactly happy, not towards the end, anyway.

  She walked out of her daughter’s room and picked up a pile of laundry that sat outside her twelve-year-old son’s door. She wanted to make sure that it was clean before she packed it. Since he seemed incapable of actually putting his clothes in his drawers these days, she just gathered all of the clothes from the floor to wash them.

  As she walked down the hall to the laundry room, framed photographs—hung exactly two inches apart—stared back at her. There was the photograph of her ex-husband, Jack, as he cradled Jordan the day he was born. Beside it, another photograph of Jack, with Melody in his arms.

  Once they were happy—she was sure of it.

  At the very top of the rows of photos was the wedding portrait. With eager smiles and much smaller waistlines, the shiny faces in the photograph looked foreign to her, as if they were people she’d never met.

  She reached up and loosened the frame from the hook on the wall. It wasn’t right to have it there—not when he was so obviously moving on.

  She dropped the laundry off and carried the photograph into her room—what used to be their room.

  The moment she sat down and sunk into the familiar give of the mattress, tears stung her eyes. She looked at the picture for a long moment. It was really over now. There was no special cement to put together what had broken many years before, and the fantasy that there might be was gone too.

  While Jack had been falling in love, she’d been struggling to deal with the notion of being forty-two and alone. While he was considering adding new babies to his life with his young bride, Nicole was thinking about menopause and whether or not to dye her blonde hair, which had began to sprout silver streaks of reality.

  Time marched on, and she didn’t know how to catch up.

  Before the tears could begin to flow down her cheeks, she took a deep breath and grabbed her cell phone from the charger on her bedside table. She logged into her new favorite website. It was a support group of sorts, but in reality it was a place for women to be honest—to talk about their fears and their joys, and, most of all, vent about life.

  Forty and Free was a website that she’d stumbled upon while attempting to figure out how to react to her divorce. She enjoyed the sisterhood that she felt there and the lively debates. As her heart ached, she typed out a message to post. It detailed her ex-husband’s destination wedding, how excited her kids were to be part of it, and how alone she felt because of it.

  When she posted it, she prepared herself for whatever responses she’d get. Within seconds she had messages of support from an assortment of women. What heartened her was the fact that these women weren’t all moms or all newly divorced. Some had been divorced more than once, some had been with their husbands from the time they were in high school and some had never been married. Everyone had their own view of what a relationship should be and no one was shy about sharing it.

  As Nicole sorted through the responses, she received an alert about a private message from one of the women she’d became close friends with, Ella.

  Cielo Spa & Resort! Trust me. Book yourself a room and have some fun. You owe it to yourself to get out of this rut, and see what the world has to offer. It’s the perfect time—with the kids away—to get to know yourself again.

  Ella’s words impacted Nicole more than she would have expected. She typed a quick response to thank her friend and let her know that she would consider it, then she logged out.

  Each message of support reminded her that her life was not over.

  Just like Jack, she needed to find a way to move forward. She picked up the wedding photograph and carried it over to her dresser. With one last look she shoved it into the bottom drawer.

  “That’s enough—enough tears, enough questions—just enough.” She closed the drawer and returned to the laundry room to get the load started.

  No, it wouldn’t be easy, but she was ready to live again.

  There had once been a time in her life when there were more important things than laundry and a broken dishwasher. A spark of eagerness drew a smile to her lips. Like an old but treasured friend, her desire began to resurface.

  For many years the only question in her mind was about what she could do for everyone else in her life. She’d trained herself not to think about what she might be missing out on, or how she might prefer things to be. It didn’t matter what she wanted, as long as her husband and kids were happy.

  That method hadn’t worked out very well. She’d sacrificed her needs, and in the end, her husband wasn’t happy. The family life that she’d expected to have had crumbled, no matter how hard she had tried to hold it together.

  What was left was a lonely soul—long overdue for some real fun.

  Chapter 2

  Gavin Bell leaned forward in his chair so that his elbows rested on his desk while he spoke into the phone. “You’re not making sense to me, that’s all I’m saying. What I’m offering you here is a golden opportunity to launch your brand in a way that will get the attention of modern consumers. I understand that you promote tradition, and I assure you that we can create a mixture of tradition and modernization that will retain your current customer base as well as gain the attention of many other demographics. So what’s to lose?”

  He pressed the phone closer to his ear and leaned back in his chair. As he listened to his client describe his apprehension, he smiled. He loved a challenge, and more than that, he loved creating solutions. Every time a client gave him a reason to turn down an offer, he enjoyed solving the problem.

  “I hear you, I do. And that’s important to you too, isn’t it? If you agree to this deal, you have Gavin Bell on your side. I respect how passionate you are about your brand, which is why I intend to walk you through every step of the process. You will have a say in everything—before the posters go up, before the commercials get made, before the actors are even hired. This is your baby and I get that. All I want to do is dress it up a bit for you.”

  He looked up at his computer screen for a quick review of the client’s information. He always kept personal notes about the clients on hand so that he could speak to them as friends rather than business associates.

  “Great, Ted. You’re making a wonderful decision, which I can promise you won’t regret. Thanks for taking the time to talk with me. I’ll have my assistant fax you all of the paperwork by the end of the day. Give my best to Karen and the kids.”

  He hung up the phone and pumped his other fist through the air in the same motion. The door to his office swung open and Lance Tavish stepped inside.

  “How did you get here so fast to congratulate me?”

  “I’m not here to congratulate you, Gavin.” Lance pushed the door shut.

  Gavin arched an eyebrow.

  Lance held his shoulders straight and his hands were tight at his sides.

  “What’s wrong? I just landed Ted Bramley. We’ve been trying to get him to agree to a new campaign for over a year.”

  “That’s great. It really is.” Lance narrowed his eyes. “But you’re not supposed to be here, are you?”

  Gavin rolled his eyes up toward the ceiling and sighed. “I know, I know. But Ted was only in the country for a few days and I wanted to catch him while he’s here so he can sign all the paperwork.”

  “There’s always an excuse, isn’t there, Gavin? I mean, there are people who would kill to have a boss that insisted they take a vacation.”

  “And there are just as many bosses that would be thrilled to have an employee as skilled and dedicated as me.” Gavin rested his hands on his desk. “Why are you trying to force me to do something that isn’t necessary?”

  “Because it is necessary. Because yes, you are my best asset, and I want to keep you for as long as I can. You’ve been going full tilt ever since you left Amy—”

  “—This isn’t about Amy.”

  “Yes, it is.” Lance grabbed a chair and pulled it up in front of Gavin’s desk. “I’ve watched you for the past
five years. You’ve done nothing but work. You don’t even bring a date to the office party.”

  “So what?” Gavin cleared his throat. “I tried it once, it didn’t work out. I don’t see why that’s a problem.”

  “Because one of these days it’s going to catch up to you, Gavin. It’s going to hit you in the gut and knock you back. You’re not getting any younger, you know. You’re losing your hair and your trim waistline.”

  “Hey, I’m not losing my hair.” Gavin reached up and touched the waves of thick brown hair that rested on the top of his head. “Am I?”

  “Even if you’re not now, you will be soon. You’re forty-four, Gavin. You know what comes next?”

  “Forty-five?” Gavin smirked.

  “Seventy. That’s what comes next.”

  “I think you’re a little off on your math there.”

  “I’m serious. You know how much I care about you. You can’t live your whole life like this. What will you have when you retire?”

  “Lance, give it a rest, alright?” Gavin looked back at his computer screen as another e-mail from a client came in. “I have work to do. I can’t take a vacation right now. Besides, all I’m going to do is work at home. What else would I do?”

  “Gavin, we’ve been friends since high school. You have never prioritized your emotional needs.”

  “I don’t have emotional needs.”

  Lance leaned forward until he could meet Gavin’s eyes. “Everyone does, Gav. Everyone. You can ignore it for as long as you want, but there comes a time when it’s just too late to fix it.”

  Gavin held his gaze for a moment, then looked away as his phone began to ring. “Duty calls.”

  “Don’t answer it. We’re having a conversation here.”

  “Is that my best friend talking or my boss?”

  “Whichever one works to keep you from answering that phone. I’m worried about you. I want you to be happy—and you need a break, Gav.”