by Nicole Hart
“Hold on one second, Brookie,” Natalie said in a muffled voice, as if she were trying to hold her hand over the receiver.
“Just real fast momma, then I’ll go straight to bed, cross my heart,” she said, and then I heard kissing sounds following by that laugh that had stayed etched in my memory all these years.
“Do you mind if she says goodnight?” she asked. I could hear the nervousness in her voice.
“Of course not, put her on,” I said, confusing myself with the stupid ass grin I was wearing.
“Hey Ryker!” she squealed into the phone.
“Hey there, Brooklyn.”
“I went to the movies with my friend, Josie, tonight.”
“You did? Did you have fun?”
“Yeah, it was ok,” she said as I could almost picture her shrugging her shoulders, as if she were a teenager.
“Just ok?” I asked.
“Well, it was a cartoon. Cartoons are ok. I like action movies, but momma says they’re too violent. She wants me to stay her baby forever.”
“Well, that’s because she loves you,” I assured her.
“I know, I know,” she said, brushing me off, which made me laugh again.
“I like your laugh,” she giggled.
“I like yours, too,” I answered honestly.
“Mustang is still alive, can you believe it?” she said.
“I bet it’s because you take such good care of him,” I said. I was falling into an easy conversation with a five year old. It was surprising, to say the least. I don’t know if I had talked to a five year old since I was that age.
“You should come see him,” she said bluntly.
“Maybe soon,” I said.
“How about tomorrow after school?” Brooklyn asked.
“Brooklyn,” I heard Natalie scold in the background.
“It’s ok, momma,” Brooklyn assured her mother, which made me laugh again. This kid was a riot.
“You can have dinner with us; my momma is the best cook in the whole wide world.”
“I think that might be up to your mom,” I said, not wanting to pressure Natalie to do this, but not wanting Brooklyn to think I didn’t want to see them both.
“Can he, mom? Pleeeaaasssseeee!” she begged.
“We’ll talk about it later,” Nat whispered.
“But he’s on the phone right now, please, oh please!” She wasn’t giving up.
“Listen,” Nat whispered, her voice stern. “I’ll talk to Ryker about it. You go get into your pajamas and brush your teeth. I’ll be in there soon to tuck you in, ok?”
“Ok, momma,” she said. “Ryker, I gotta get ready for bed, but momma wants you to come over for dinner, too.”
“Are you sure about that?” I asked through my laughter.
“I’m totally sure. She smiles so big when I talk about you. I can tell.”
“Brooklyn,” Natalie said.
“Goodnight, Ryker!” she said.
“’Night, Brooklyn,” I said, and heard her giggle as she handed the phone back to Natalie.
“Hey,” Natalie said quietly after a few seconds.
“Don’t apologize,” I said before she had the chance to say anything.
“I wasn’t going to,” she said with a small laugh.
“Yeah, you were,” I said through a smile.
“I was,” she said.
We both laughed and then everything went silent.
“So um . . . , do you . . . ,” she stammered.
“Yeah, I do.” I answered honestly. I wanted to see her again, both of them, if I was being honest.
“You do? Don’t feel obligated,” she said.
“I want to.”
“I’m not the best cook in the whole wide world,” she said with a small laugh.
“I bet you’re better than you give yourself credit for,” I said.
“I guess you’re about to find out.”
“Looking forward to it.”
“I gotta go, so I can help her get ready for bed. I’ll see you at 6:30 tomorrow, is that ok?” she asked, her voice still full of hesitation.
“That’s perfect. Bye, Nat,” I said quieter than I expected.
“See you soon,” she said, and hung up the phone.
I threw my phone next to me on the couch and took a long swig of my beer. Those two were something else.
And they were both destined to have me wrapped around their little fingers. I didn’t think I could stop it if I tried.
Stupid Conscience
“What are you doing, honey?” I asked as I glanced over my shoulder, and noticed Brooklyn lining up her teddy bears and her favorite toy car in front of the fireplace.
“I want to show Ryker my stuff,” she said without looking in my direction. She was too busy concentrating.
“Just don’t make a big mess ok?” I asked.
“Ok momma,” she mumbled.
I shouldn’t do this. I shouldn’t expose my daughter to a man I hardly knew. What if this didn’t work out? She would be heartbroken. I didn’t want that for her. I didn’t want her to lose anyone else. Not that she even remembered Kyle. She was only a year old when he was killed. She knew who he was from his pictures and my stories, but that was it. But I knew it bothered her when other dads dropped their kids off at daycare. She had only mentioned it once, but it devastated me when she asked why she didn’t have a dad like the other kids. I cried myself to sleep that night.
On the other hand, I didn’t do this on purpose. I didn’t know Ryker would be on the beach. I didn’t know Brookie would take to him after a few minutes. I didn’t know she was going to ask him over for dinner. My sneaky little girl. She was too smart for my own good. The sound of water sizzling on the stove broke me from the debate I was having in my mind.
“Shit,” I mumbled as I grabbed a towel, and moved the pan of lasagna noodles out of the way.
“I heard that.” Brooklyn giggled from the living room.
“Sorry,” I said as I continued prepping the food. Ryker would be here in forty five minutes and I was still in my scrubs. I needed to hurry. But I could do this. I was a mom. I was used to being in a hurry.
At exactly 6:30 the doorbell rang. My stomach did a little flip as I examined myself in the full length mirror in my bathroom.
“He’s here, momma,” Brooklyn sang as she bounced into my room.
“Best behavior, ok, Brookie?”
“Yes ma’am,” she said, and gave me a soldier’s salute. She was dressed in her favorite shirt. It was a hot pink t-shirt with a monster truck on it. It was a souvenir she got at a truck rally she went to with my dad over spring break. She loved it, and tried to wear it at least twice a week. She had her hair in a French braid that went half way down her back. Her hair was getting lighter from being at the beach so much this summer. When she was born it was almost jet black, but had changed into a soft brown with natural highlights. Paired with those big green eyes, she looked like a little doll. She was perfect.
“Come on, silly girl,” I said as I took her by the hand, and walked to the front door. My nerves were getting the best of me, and I could feel my body trembling.
“Don’t be nervous, momma,” Brooklyn whispered quietly as we stood at the front door.
“I’m not nervous,” I lied, and gave her smile.
“Yes you are,” she said, and shook her hand that I was holding. “you always squeeze my hand really tight when you’re nervous.”
“Sorry,” I whispered.
“It’s ok, momma,” she said, and gave my hand a perfect little kiss.
I opened the front door and sucked in a shaky breath. He was so sexy. His eyes met mine and I wanted to reach over and kiss him. I didn’t, not in front of Brooklyn, but I sure wanted to. He was wearing a pair of dark jeans and a grey t-shirt. It hugged his broad shoulders and clung to his abs. His tattoos peaked from under the sleeves and wrapped their way down to his wrists. His beard was just a little shorter than yesterday. Still a full beard, whic
h I definitely appreciated. Good Lord. He was wearing a baseball cap tonight, which reminded me of the boy I met on spring break. But he wasn’t a boy anymore, he was all man.
“Hey,” he said as he continued to stare at me. I could tell by the look on his face I wasn’t the only one craving a kiss right now. He raked his teeth across his bottom lip. I swallowed hard, trying to distract my tongue from the urge to lick him. I couldn’t help it. He looked delicious. He gave me a quick wink before turning his attention to Brooklyn.
“Hey there, Brooklyn, I like your shirt,” he said as he gave her a smile.
“You do?” she asked as she took her hand out of mine and grabbed Ryker’s, leading him into the living room.
“My Papa got it for me at Monster Jam; I love trucks,” she chatted as she pulled him behind her. Ryker looked over his shoulder at me and gave me that heart stopping smile of his.
“Your Papa sounds pretty awesome.”
“Please have a seat,” I said as I pointed to the sofa.
“Wait, what’s in that bag?” Brooklyn asked as she eyed the gift bag in Ryker’s hand. I didn’t even notice he was holding anything.
“I almost forgot,” he laughed, “I got you a little something.” He handed the bag to Brooklyn. My heart rate spiked and my stomach did another flip. Brooklyn squealed and peaked inside the bag.
“It’s a cage and toys for Mustang!” She was so excited. We had put the crab in a small bucket with sand and surprisingly it had survived so far.
The oven started to beep so I walked into the kitchen, holding up one finger at Ryker to let him know I would be right back.
“I’m going to put Mustang in the cage,” she said, and ran to her room.
“Do you need help?” I yelled after her as I pulled the dish out of the oven.
“Nope, I got it,” she said from her room. I pulled the aluminum foil from the lasagna and examined my work.
I felt him walk behind me and put his hands on my waist.
“Do you know how hard it was not to kiss you?” he whispered into my ear. My eyes instantly fluttered shut and I leaned my back into his chest.
“I do actually,” I whispered as he planted soft kisses on my neck.
“You look beautiful,” he whispered, his lips grazing against my ear, his hot breath causing goose bumps along my shoulders. He felt so good against me. And his smell was intoxicating. I was drawn to it, to him.
The next second he moved away from me and I was jerked back to reality.
“Do you need help?” Ryker said casually as he looked at Brooklyn walking out of her room, and then back at me, winking again.
“No, I got it,” I said in the same casual tone. “Go, sit.”
Ryker did as I asked, and Brooklyn followed right behind him, planting herself next to him. I started to set the table and noticed Brooklyn examining Ryker’s arms. He stared at her, smiling; he didn’t speak, he just let her move his arm up and down staring at all the designs. One particular one must have caught her eye, because she stilled his arm and concentrated. I held the silverware in my hand, watching.
“Fig . . . fig . . . fig.tt” She was trying to read. We had been working on her letters for some time now. She could read a few things, and knew most of the sounds the letters made. But she was a little stumped.
“What does that say?” she asked.
“It says fight without fear,” he said, and then pursed his lips together tightly.
“What does that mean?” she asked curiously.
I was curious to hear his answer. Brooklyn had a knack for putting him on the spot.
“It means always be brave,” he said, and glanced over at me, giving me a small smile.
“Cool.”
“Are you guys ready to eat?” I asked, interrupting.
“Always,” Ryker said with a smile as he stood up.
“Sit next to me, Ryker,” Brooklyn said as she led him by the hand to the table.
Please don’t let her heart get broken. I pleaded to myself, to God, to whoever would listen.
So fucking persistent
“She finally gave up,” Natalie said quietly as she walked out of Brooklyn’s room, and sat beside me on her oversized couch. She tucked her bare feet under her and pulled that sexy ass blue sundress over her knees, brushing her shoulder against mine.
“Is she a hard sleeper?” I asked, tired of keeping my hands off of her.
“Most of the time,” she whispered and lifted her head, piercing those green eyes into me. I slid my arm around the small of her back and lifted her onto my lap. The little shriek of surprise that came out of her was so damn cute.
“I need to kiss you. Now,” I said softly as I put my hands around the back of her neck, pulling her closer to me.
“Now?” she whispered with a grin as she swept her lips across mine without making full contact.
“Right fucking now,” I said and pulled her into me. A quiet moan escaped her lips as our mouths met. Her hands went to my head and she threw my baseball cap onto the couch. The way she ran her fingers through my hair caused my dick to stand at attention.
“Fuck,” I whispered as I grabbed her ass, and pulled her closer to me. I needed to feel her. I didn’t want to push her, but she felt so good, I needed her closer. Our kisses became more intense as I ran my hand over her breast. I could feel her heat against me, and I thought my dick was going to explode out of my jeans.
“You feel so good against me,” I whispered into her neck as she started to grind against me. Her quiet whimpers matched her movements. The buzzing of my phone caused her to still and she pulled away slightly, and looked into my eyes.
“Do you need to get that?” She asked through ragged breaths, running her fingers through her hair.
“Nope,” I said as I pulled my phone from my pocket, declining the call without giving it a glance. I threw it on the couch beside me and pulled her to me again.
I kissed her lips and waited for her to open her mouth for me. I slid my tongue inside her mouth, craving the taste of her and wanting more. My phone started buzzing again and I reached next to me, declining it again, without breaking our kiss this time.
When it started buzzing once again, Natalie broke away from me. She was so fucking beautiful. Her hair was a little wild from my hands, her cheeks were flushed and her lips were swollen and red. Fucking sexy.
“Maybe it’s important,” she whispered, touching her fingers to her lips. I let out a loud sigh and ran my hands up her bare thighs; her dress had made its way up to her panties. I took one look down and wanted to bury my face there.
The buzzing of my phone jerked me from my thoughts and pissed me off.
I looked down at the screen. It was Cain. I wanted to decline it again but knew I probably shouldn’t. He never called multiple times in a row. If I didn’t answer, he usually just left a voicemail or sent me a text.
I nodded my head and kept one hand on her thigh as I picked up my phone with the other.
“This better be important,” I said into the phone.
“Did I interrupt something, bro?” he asked, and then it was followed with a deep chuckle.
“You did. What’s up?” I asked.
“I take it you’re not alone,” he said.
“No, what is it? I’m a little busy.”
“If your cock is buried in someone, I’d rather you take it out so you can concentrate for a minute,” he said, laughing again. My eyes went to Natalie, who was staring above my head, biting her bottom lip, looking sexy as hell, but I could tell she seemed nervous.
“Is this something that can wait?” I asked, getting irritated.
“I have a proposition,” he stated. It had something to do with money. I could tell by the change in his tone.
“I’m gonna call you later, bro,” I said. I wasn’t interested in talking to him now; I wanted to concentrate on Natalie.
“Momma?” I heard a voice in the distance, followed by the quiet squeak of a door and the swift movement
of Natalie launching to her feet.
“Ryker, this is important!” Cain said sternly.
“I’ll call you later,” I said, and disconnected the call.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” Nat said in a sweet voice as she walked towards Brooklyn’s bedroom door. She was standing in her doorway, rubbing her eyes and gripping a teddy bear.
“I can’t sleep,” she said with one eye open, and her fist in the other.
“You look like your still sleeping,” Nat giggled, and looked over her shoulder at me, mouthing the word “Sorry.” I shook my head at her and gave her a grin.
“Will you lie in my bed, just until I fall asleep?” she asked, and I heard Natalie’s quiet sigh.
“Go get in bed, I’ll be there in just a minute.”
“Ok, goodnight Ryker,” she said and turned her back, shuffling back to bed.
“Night,” I said quietly.
“I should get to her,” Nat said, apologetically. “She’s been going through this phase for a couple of months now.”
“Ok,” I said, and ran my finger over her nose.
“I’ll walk you out,” she said as she ran her hand down my arm and intertwined our fingers, leading me to the door.
“Can I call you tomorrow?” I asked as I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her to me.
“Of course” she said as she put her head against my chest.
“Look at me,” I said quietly as I touched her chin, and guided her face in my direction.
She stared up at me, her green eyes shining in the moonlight.
“God, you’re beautiful,” I said, and pressed my lips to hers.
“Goodnight,” I whispered when our lips fell apart.
“Goodnight,” she repeated, our hands touching until we couldn’t reach each other as I started down the sidewalk, making my way to my bike. I rolled it out backwards, waiting until I got to the street to start it, not wanting to scare Brooklyn with the roar of the engine. I kept my eyes on Nat until I put the bike in gear. She hadn’t moved. She stood there, in all her perfection, watching my every move. I gave her a grin and a nod as I rode away.