Blog of the Dead - Life

by Lisa Richardson

  The rubber soles of my baseball boots squeaked on the tiled floor as me and Kay inched our way to the left of the kitchen, past shelves of gleaming pots and pans. Around a corner, I saw a small window above a big stainless steal sink. ‘Hell yeah,’ I said as I placed the candle down on the draining board, no longer needing it with the natural light, and I climbed up so I stood in the sink. The window was about three foot wide and no more than a foot high; a tight squeeze, but it was a way out and that was all I cared about.

  I opened the window and pushed it out and up as far as possible. I could see the pavement was only a few inches below, and it came out into the street that led off Marine Parade and up to Remembrance Hill, up to town. But I could also see the slow, shambling, rotting feet of some zombies just a few metres up the road.

  I ducked back inside and turned to Kay. ‘We’re going to have to be quick,’ I said. ‘There’re some zombies out there.’

  ‘Well, there are serial killers in here, so, yeah, time is of the essence,’ said Kay.

  I turned back to the window, amazed at how less frightening zombies were when compared with serial killers, and, with my knife through my belt, I grabbed hold of the window frame with both hands and hauled myself up and through. I’m fairly skinny, but squeezing between the base of the window frame and the window pane above wasn’t easy. I dug my nails into the pitted surface of the pavement outside and heaved my upper body outside, keeping my eye on the nearby zombies who now staggered towards where I shimmied on the ground. ‘Come on, come on,’ I muttered to myself. With my arms hugging the pavement and my legs kicking out into the kitchen below me, the first zombie reached its ravaged hand down to me. ‘Fuck shit,’ I said, stopping to manoeuvre my knife from my belt.

  No chance for a head shot from my current stomach on the ground position, so I stabbed repeatedly at the outstretched hand of the zombie until I had torn it to useless dangly shreds. The zombie didn’t seem that bothered about its obliterated hand and, instead, reached its other hand down towards my head. ‘Yeah, come on,’ I said to it, tilting my head sideways to expose my neck, all the time keeping my eyes on the other four zombies lumbering towards me. ‘Get a piece of this, why don’t you?’ The zombie lowered its jaws towards me, more than happy to take up my offer of a nice piece of juicy neck flesh. Once it had stooped low enough, I slid my knife into its ear and it slumped down to the ground in front of my face. ‘Sorry, I’m just a tease,’ I said to its dead, rotten body.

  ‘Get a move on, for fuck’s sake,’ said Kay from inside the kitchen. ‘We haven’t got all day.’

  ‘I’m trying,’ I said as I shoved the zombie’s body aside and dug my fingers into a hole in the pavement so I could drag my way free from the window. ‘You’re welcome to give me a push.’ I felt hands on my arse as Kay shoved me from behind.

  Another zombie had reached me and this one, I swear, had a glimmer of intelligence because instead of going for me at my head end – where I could reach it with my knife as it bent down to bite – it staggered past my head and went for my bum, that I had just squeezed outside. As it bent down to bite me, I shimmied forwards on my stomach, pulled my legs through the window, rolled over onto my back and threw my body forwards, plunging the knife into the zombie’s head.

  I scrambled to my feet and kicked the zombie’s body clear of the window. ‘Come on,’ I called down to Kay. ‘I’ll keep the zombies back while you crawl through.’ I turned, surged forwards and drove my knife through the ear of the closest zombie, pulled it out and plunged it straight into the head of the next. As the last zombie lunged for me, I kicked it back, pulled my blade from the one I’d just killed and slammed it between the eyes of the zombie as it came at me again. I looked up to see more zombies, a sizeable crowd, staggering towards me from Remembrance Hill.

  I darted back to the window and grasped Kay’s hands as she wiggled her way through the window. I pulled until I’d dragged her free. She sprang to her feet, and with zombies to the right of us and psychos to our left, we sprinted down a narrow road behind the hotel that led to a car park and back out onto Marine Parade. We didn’t stop until we had reached the cover of the Lower Leas coastal park. We slowed to a jog until, exhausted as the adrenaline left our bodies, we stopped to rest on a bench.

  This part of the park used to be a landscaped garden, with trees and little bridges over paths that weaved through beds once filled with seasonal flowers, but now grew thick with weeds and long grass. ‘We need to think about taking cover and finding some food,’ I said.

  ‘The Mermaid Café,’ suggested Kay. The Mermaid stood a little way down through the park and overlooked the beach. It was the only building down here, other than the Toll House further along at the very end of the park.

  ‘OK, good thinking,’ I said.

  We followed a path down to the seawall, thinking it would be the safest route – with the beach on one side and the tall seawall on the other. We reached the steps up to the café and took them two at a time until we came out to the entrance to the café’s veranda.

  Inside, I made straight for the counter. The place looked pretty bare, but I grabbed a couple of bottles of orange Fruit Shoot and threw one to Kay, before picking up a packet of ice cream cones – bypassing the shrivelled, mould covered burger buns. Kay sat at one of the tables and I joined her, tossing the ice cream cone packet on the table in front of her, and opened my drink. I took four big gulps before placing the bottle on the table and rubbing my face with my hands. ‘I’m tired,’ I said, lowering my hands and looking at Kay.

  ‘Yeah, we could be back at camp, our luxury caravan bunks awaiting us … but you had to be like, “Let’s go and set a serial killer free so he can rejoin his psycho sister and kill a ton of people”. Bloody fucktard.’

  I ignored Kay and closed my eyes, but all I saw was Josh’s bloody body laying on the steps. I snapped them open. ‘I need to pee,’ I said. I stood and headed for the café door. Outside I turned right at the steps and jogged up another flight of stairs. At the top, I could see the adventure playground. Before the outbreak, a group of us students came here after dark and played on the zip wires and climbed the huge wooden structure, sliding down the spiral slides. It had been fun back then, but now the playground looked like a waste of precious energy.

  I ducked into a patch of small trees and bushes, directly behind the café, slid my knife through my belt and undid my jeans, shoving them down to my ankles. I lent back against the wall of the café for support while I peed.

  I’d had an unfortunate-weeing-outside incident a few years back on a camping trip, where I crouched down and got my aim totally wrong and ended up pissing all over my jeans. Once I’d started I just couldn’t stop and my jeans got soaked, and my friends took the piss out of me for the rest of the weekend. And I never got anywhere with the cute boy I fancied. I couldn’t even remember his name now, but I’ll never forget how embarrassing it was to return to camp with soaking, stinking jeans that I had to take off and wash in a lake because I hadn’t packed another pair. But over a year in the zombie apocalypse with no flushing toilets had made me quite the peeing-outside-with-my-trousers-around-my-ankles expert.

  Job done – successfully – I stood and pulled up my jeans. I did up my flies while I hurried through the trees. I stopped when I heard the sound of feet pounding. My heart thumped in my chest and my hand went to the handle of my knife. That’s when he lumbered through the trees before me – Sean. He stopped at the sight of me and his eyes widened.

  ‘It was you. You killed them!’ I said, but before I could pull my knife from my belt, his eyes narrowed and he dived at me, the crowbar he’d nicked from St Andrews raised in his right hand.

  I tried to dodge him but in one swift movement he wrapped his left hand around my mouth, moved his body so he stood behind me and pulled me backwards onto the ground. He sat behind me as he held me – my body between his legs and my back against his chest. Sean kept his hand over my mouth while his right arm swung around to gr
ip my waist, pinning my right arm to my side. I couldn’t move to get my knife. ‘Shhhhhhhh,’ Sean whispered. ‘Shhhhhh. Don’t make a sound.’ I glanced down at the crowbar held in his right hand and I wondered if I could get hold of it with my left arm. I struggled but he only held me tighter. Images of the mutilated bodies at the hotel spammed my mind. ‘Shhhhhhhh, keep quiet,’ he said. Tears rolled down my cheeks and onto the back of his hand.

  I heard feet pounding on hard earth. I heard the sound of branches swishing against moving bodies. My muddled mind tried to make sense of it. Someone else was here. Was it Anna? But I heard more than one pair of feet … Chris, Soph, Misfit … tracking Sean? I struggled, desperate to call out, to say, ‘He’s here!’ But Sean held me so tight I could hardly breath, let alone free myself enough to cry for help.

  The sound of the feet disappeared into the distance. ‘I’m going to move my hand away,’ Sean whispered into my ear. ‘Promise me you won’t scream.’ I didn’t move. ‘Sophie, it’s not me you have to fear, OK? Promise me you won’t scream or shout. Please, for both our sakes, trust me.’ I nodded and Sean moved his hand, hovering it near my mouth, ready to cover it again in case I disobeyed him. He loosened his grip around my body and I sprang forwards, out of his arms. I turned, and on my knees, I looked at Sean with wide eyes. ‘Where’s Kay?’ he asked, keeping his voice low. ‘Sophie, we need to get out of here now, understand? Where’s Kay?’

  ‘Down there,’ I nodded with my head in the general direction of the steps.

  ‘Come on,’ said Sean. He stood, grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. I led the way to the steps. ‘Down here,’ I said, unsure whether to believe I didn’t need to fear him or whether he was just after tricking me to get a two for one deal. But something about the fear in his eyes … ‘Quickly,’ said Sean. ‘They’re everywhere out here.’ I didn’t bother asking who, instead I practically tumbled down towards the café.

  Kay leapt to her feet as I burst into the café with Sean following me. She raised her axe and lunged at Sean. ‘NO!’ I yelled, putting a hand up to hold her back. ‘It’s OK … I think.’ Sean slammed the café door and I watched as he shoved tables and chairs up against it.

  ‘What the fuck –’ she began, but Sean grabbed her arm and pulled her around the back of the food counter. I followed and the three of us crouched down on the floor, resting our backs against the pale blue painted wood.

  I watched Sean put his face in his hands. After a moment he ran his fingers through his hair before resting his head back against the counter. The swelling had gone down around his right eye, but the skin remained an angry purple. ‘What’s going on Sean?’ I said. ‘Who are we hiding from? And tell us everything this time.’

  ‘Anna –’

  ‘Oh and just so you know,’ began Kay, cutting Sean off, ‘we’ve just checked out of Hotel Hell, so we know this isn’t just about your little sister. Not unless she’s trying to give Ted Bundy a run for his money.’

  ‘She wouldn’t have hurt a bloody fly before,’ said Sean, not reacting to Kay’s comment.

  ‘Before what? asked Kay.

  ‘Before she was brainwashed.’ Sean looked from my bemused face to Kay’s bemused face.

  ‘Fuck off,’ said Kay. ‘Brainwashed … by who?’

  Sean leaned his head back against the counter and stared up at the ceiling while he spoke. ‘A guy called Marco –’

  ‘Wait,’ I said. ‘Marco … a smarmy bloke with black hair and a perma-grin?’

  ‘You know him?’ asked Sean.

  ‘No. But he turned up at our camp wanting us to join his safe house. We sent him packing. I thought … me and Kay thought … the bodies at the hotel … we thought they were Marco and his people. We thought … we thought you and Anna killed them.’

  ‘The bodies aren’t Marco and his people. They’re the victims of Marco and his people.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘That bastard twisted her mind … all their minds.’

  ‘Who’s minds?’

  ‘You couldn’t leave well enough alone so you’re going to find out now anyway – they’re all over this place.’

  ‘Who are?’

  ‘Marco’s Saved ones.’ At the sound of hands slamming the windows at the front of the café, Sean fell silent and we all snapped our heads in that direction. I couldn’t see anything from beneath the counter. I glanced at Sean, my eyes wide, and he placed a finger to his lips to silence me. But at the sound of smashing glass, Sean rose to his feet, limped to the corner of the counter and peered around to the other side. ‘Fuck,’ he said, his crowbar firm in his hand. ‘Game’s up.’

  I stood and peered over the counter to see five Human Zombies, their nails and teeth sharpened to points, slamming their fists and bodies against the door and window of the café. Another HZ snarled at me through a hole in the glass door, baring its sharp teeth as it reached its filthy arm inside. Its hair was long and matted with dirt and blood, on its head, it wore a hat made from a human face. In its right hand it held a carving knife. ‘Kay, Sophie, meet my sister,’ said Sean. ‘Meet Anna.’

  Entry Fifteen

  ‘Shit. Fuck,’ I said as me and Kay followed Sean out from the counter in the Mermaid Café. Three more HZs joined the six already outside. I won’t lie, my bowels threatened a worrying opening sort of manoeuvre at the sight of them but I clenched tight. I thought we’d killed all the HZs, back in town when we saved Kelly and her kids from them and a hoard of zombies outside the old cinema. Apparently not.

  We stood in a line, me with my knife raised, Kay with her axe across her body and Sean with his crowbar held high. The door gave way and the tables and chairs squeaked against the tiled floor as they were shoved back. The first HZ squeezed through the gap – a skinny male, naked other than a drying piece of tattooed flesh that must have once been someone’s back piece but was now strung on a piece of string and tied around the filthy HZ’s waist. It stalked towards me, its eyes boring into mine, a smirk on its lips.

  I was aware more HZs had slipped inside the café but I kept my eyes on the one heading towards me. It licked its lips and laughed. I lunged at it with my knife but it was quick and it dodged me, grabbing the lapels of my biker jacket. It shoved me so my back went over the table behind and it forced its body on top of me. It snapped its jaws. I gagged as the smell of its breath – like rancid meat in the sun – hit my face.

  I managed to get my left hand up and I placed my palm on the HZ’s forehead. As I pushed its head back, I swung my knife arm up and rammed my blade through its open mouth. Its body slid off me and slumped to the floor while I pushed myself up from the table. I turned my attention onto the next HZ, this one wielding a knife while it performed boxer stylee footwork before me, when I heard Sean shout, ‘Leave my sister to me!’ I risked a quick glance to the right to see him smash an HZ in the head with his crowbar, while Kay split the head of another one with her axe.

  I turned my attention back to the HZ before me. It swiped its knife at me in a toying manner, while I dodged the blade. It laughed, enjoying watching me dance. Another HZ took advantage of me being busy and it pounced on me from the right, knocking me to the floor on my left side. It grabbed the hand that held the knife and dug its long, sharpened nails into my skin. I cried out and dropped the knife. The HZ rolled me onto my back and pinned me to the ground by my wrists, its blood smeared body straddling me. Its hair smelt like sheep, while the odour wafting from its body was of stale sweat, coppery blood and human shit.

  The HZ with the knife screamed and grabbed the matted dirty blonde hair of the HZ on me, pulling it back and dragging it off me, angered by a rival stealing its pray. The blonde HZ clawed at Knife HZ and Knife HZ slashed Blonde HZ’s chest with its knife, drawing blood. Not a deep wound, just a warning.

  I scrambled to my feet, grabbed my knife and drove the blade through Blonde HZ’s ear. ‘There you go,’ I said to Knife HZ, ‘I’m all yours.’ The HZ slashed its blade at me. I ducked and plunged my knife through its
heart, wiping its perma-smirk off its face.

  I glanced behind to see Kay bury her axe in the head of an HZ, but before she could pull the axe free, Anna leapt at her. The force of the attack knocked Kay sideways and she lost her grip on her weapon. She hit the ground on her left side with Anna on top of her, her knife raised above Kay’s head. Kay thrust her right hand up and grabbed hold of Anna’s wrist, keeping the blade from going down any further. With a sharp shove upwards, Kay bent Anna’s wrist backwards, causing her to drop the knife. Furious, Anna punched Kay in the jaw and rolled her over onto her back, pinning Kay to the floor by her wrists. Dazed from the blow, Kay lay beneath Anna, unmoving.

  I charged at Anna with my knife raised but Sean grabbed my elbow, yanked me back and shoved me sideways where the side of my left leg slammed into a chair. The chair toppled and I grabbed the backrest with my left hand and swung my right arm in the air to try and get my balance, but, as the chair crashed onto its side, it took me down with it. My knife fell to the floor with a clutter as my hands instinctively threw out in front of me to break my fall and my palms slammed against the tiled floor. I came to a stop with the edge of the chair seat digging into my groin.

  From behind me, I heard Sean yell, ‘Anna, no!’ followed by the horrible sound of Kay screaming. I used my hands to push myself back, off the chair and, still on my knees, I turned just in time to see the last HZ throw itself at me. I grabbed the legs of the chair and swung it up and at the HZ. The weight of the chair prevented me from putting any great force behind the swing while on my knees but it was enough to knock the HZ off course in time to grab my knife, spring to my feet and stab the HZ in the neck before it could steady itself for another attack.

  As the HZ’s body slumped to the ground, I turned to see Kay laying on the floor clutching her throat. Blood oozed from between her fingers. Anna, vibrant red blood dripping down her chin, thrashed wildly as Sean held her under her arms and dragged her off Kay’s shuddering body.