Until Sydney: A Tanner Cycle Novel

by Marissa Dobson

  “Maybe, but also because I like it here.” His steps quickened. “You’ll see what I mean.”

  They stepped into the shop, into an open space with various motorcycles in different stages of completion. She wanted to take her time, to see the different areas that had been set up, but Coal didn’t give her time to take it all in. He continued toward the staircase that stood off against the far wall, forcing her to follow. The black wrought iron railing had curves and detail to it that surprised her, and mixed nicely with the dark wood of the stairs.

  At the top they reached a large office. The glass windows allowed the person inside to look down at the shop below. Stepping into the room, she immediately knew it was Coal’s workspace. Not only did the simple décor with the large, cluttered desk scream his name, but the lingering scent of his cologne hung in the air. This was his office, no doubt, but it felt personal, like she was invading his space. As she looked around, Coal placed his bag on the sofa along the wall and pulled out his laptop.

  “Are you seriously about to work? We’ve been on the road all day. You have to be exhausted.” Even as she questioned him, she realized he most likely was behind because of having to make the trip to Pennsylvania to come to her rescue. They couldn’t have flown back because they couldn’t risk anyone seeing her leave and follow them—which meant the trip had been longer with them driving.

  “Worried about me?” He raised his eyebrow at her in question. “No, I’m just putting this down here so I’m not tempted to work tonight.” He placed the laptop on the desk, careful not to knock over the stacks of papers that cluttered the surface.

  She looked at the papers, and certain things caught her attention. It appeared most of it was accounting, things that needed added into the books, parts ordered, requests for custom bikes or jobs. How did he keep up with all of that himself? “It looks like you need help.”

  “You have no idea.”

  “Don’t you have an assistant?”

  “No.” Without further explanation, he grabbed the bags and nodded toward another staircase. “Ready?”

  Unlike the other stairs, this was closed off from view but just as wide. The wrought iron didn’t have as much of a role here, being simply a twisted handrail that ran along the wall. The stairs were the same dark wood as before and with every step she climbed, she had a nagging feeling she was venturing into a place few had the privilege to enter. It should have made her feel special, but the weight of knowing she wouldn’t have been here if Jay hadn’t been arrested weighed on her. She didn’t want to be an obligation; she wanted to be there because he wanted her with him. For the first time since her mother passed away, she wanted to feel wanted.

  “I shouldn’t be here.”

  At the top of the stairs, Coal dropped the bags and came back to where she’d stopped. He sat down two steps above her so they were eye level with each other. He took her hand into his, pulling them against his chest. “Let’s not start that again.”

  “It’s the truth. You’ve done too much for me, risked too much. I can never repay you for this. Jay had no right to even ask this of you.” Her thoughts ran together. “I could kill him for putting you in this position.”

  “Baby, I want you here.” He rubbed his thumb along the curve of her knuckles. “I know everything looks dismal right now but we’re going to fix this. Cal’s working on making contact with those who are after you. We’ll see what we can do to clear up the situation.”

  “They’ll want their drugs or their money and I have neither.”

  “Then we’ll pay them.”

  He stated it like it was so simple. Money might not be anything to him but every dollar she ever had she’d worked hard for. She’d fought to keep it from her family, hiding it away in different spots, hoping they’d never find it. For her, paying them wasn’t simple. She couldn’t allow him to do that for her. It was too much and would drop him dead center into the mix. “No.”

  “Enlighten me on your reasoning.”

  “Are you serious?” Her voice rose as she looked at him. Silently, he waited for her to answer, making her shake her head. “I don’t have the money for that and I can’t let you do that. It would drop you and your family right into it once they find a connection. Drug dealers and who knows what else Jay is involved with. They would jeopardize your business, your livelihood, and your family.”

  “Don’t worry.” He reached up and cupped the side of her face. “Nothing’s going to happen to me. Cal’s working on it, but we’re using a third party. Nothing will be traced back to us. Not because I’m worried about the police or some drug dealer. They’ll never find out we’re the ones taking care of it, or that you’re here. You’ll be protected. I promise.”

  “Why are you doing all of this?” She wanted to believe that everything would be okay but the fear she had been living with most of her life seemed to become suddenly overwhelming. She wasn’t sure how to deal with it any longer.

  “For you, Syd.” Grabbing the back of her head, he brought her down to the step in front of him so she was kneeling between his legs and their faces were so close, she could feel his breath on her cheek. “You deserve the world. Everything you’ve ever wanted should be yours for the taking.”

  “If only life worked like that.”

  “Come on.” He stood and took her hand in his. “Let’s get you settled and if you want to watch a movie or something, I’ll make popcorn.”

  “Movie night, just like old times.” There were aspects from the relationship they had before—especially the ease of everything—that she wanted back. While on the other hand, she wanted to take things to another level. The man she’d wanted for as long as she could remember stood before her and she had the opportunity to see where things went. Maybe they wouldn’t go anywhere. Maybe he was dating someone, even if she hadn’t heard about it through the gossip magazines or Internet. Either way, she had to try. He said she deserved anything she wanted. Well, she wanted him.

  Chapter Five

  The next morning, Sydney stood at the loft railing, looking out over his sanctuary. The space was amazing. Modern and clean, yet welcoming and lived in. It was him, down to the simplest aspects. The large living area down below had a huge dark brown sectional that almost looked like leather, but was soft and welcoming. There was enough seating room for all his brothers to sprawl out and probably half a dozen more people. The television dominated the wall but below it, the fireplace proved just as much of an eye catcher.

  The only surprising part of the entertaining space was the kitchen. The Coal she knew could do the basics when it came to cooking, but the kitchen here was fit for a chef. The large prep countertop would make anyone envious with the bar stools lining the opposite side. The bar was made of concrete, but it somehow fit the place. The exposed beams and ductwork were reminders that this had at one time been a warehouse and he had turned it into a home.

  The loft overlooked the whole space and fit his personal style and requirements. The king size bed stood against the stone wall, with no headboard or bedframe to distract the eye from the natural stone, taken from the creek that ran through the property. The night before, prior to crawling into the bed, she’d ran her fingers over the smooth walls and he had explained that they had been worn thin by the water cascading over them for years. The charcoal comforter was heavy and plush, inviting her to curl up under it.

  This was his personal space but he had allowed her to spend the night there while he had been a gentleman and slept on the sofa. Thinking of him, her gaze traveled to where he still lay asleep. Her heart skipped a beat as she wished she was waking up in his arms again. As if feeling her gaze on him, his eyes fluttered open. Embarrassed, she spun away to look around the room again. A picture next to the bed caught her attention. There were other photographs around the room, most of them on the long ebony dresser that lined the wall next to the walk-in closet. She had been too tired to take them in the previous night and had crawled into bed almost immediately to sleep.
This picture frame was the only one on the nightstand, piquing her attention.

  She walked across the room and picked it up. The image had her dropping onto the bed.

  It was a week before Halloween and the chillness in the air sent a shiver through her but she stood waiting on her front porch in her prettiest dress, her hair pulled back in a French braid her mother had done for her that morning. He’d come—he always came; she just had to be patient.

  “What’s so special about today, sweetie?” her mother asked, carrying two glasses of her homemade iced tea and chocolate chip cookies out onto the porch.

  “Coal will be here soon. Jay’s sick but Coal promised he’d come to take me to the park. It’s just going to be the two of us.”

  “Sweetie…” Her mother sat the tray down and came to kneel in front of her. “Coal might be busy. He’s a big boy, just like Jay. I can take you to the park in a bit.”

  “No!” She slammed her little foot down, making the wood under her feet groan. “He promised!”

  “Would I ever let you down?” Coal came around the side of the house, a grin stretched across his face. “Get Jay and we’ll go.”

  “Coal!” she screamed, running down the stairs into his arms. “You came! I knew you would.”

  “I’m afraid Jay’s sick. He’s not able to go today,” her mother explained, rising off her knees. “I was trying to explain that to Sydney just now.”

  “Mrs. Manor, if you’re fine with it, I’d still like to keep my promise and take her to the park.”

  Her mother’s eyebrow rose in question at his statement. “I’m sure you have better things to do than watch her.”

  “Mommy, please?”

  “I have the afternoon off and nothing else planned.” He glanced down at her then back up at her mother. “I’d hate to disappoint her and I’m sure you have your hands full with both Jay and Tim sick. We’d just be down the street at the park.”

  Relenting, her mother nodded. “Okay, but Sydney I want you to go inside and get your sweater.”

  Without hesitation, she ran back inside the house. When she came out, she found her mother standing closer to Coal, her voice hushed as they finished their conversation. Not knowing what they were discussing, she ran back to Coal, the excitement of spending the afternoon with him at the park coursing through her.

  “You know how much she means to me.”

  “Yes, Mrs. Manor. You have my word.” He took her hand, squeezing it softly.

  “Thank you, Coal.” She gave him a quick smile before looking down at Sydney. “Now you behave yourself and when he says it’s time to come home, I want you to listen. None of that ‘just five more minutes’ backtalk you give me. Understand?”

  “Yes, Mom.”

  “Go on. I’ll save your iced tea and cookies for when you return.”

  Moments later, they were strolling down the block, heading toward the park, her hand in his. Everything seemed so perfect. Jay wasn’t with them to ruin the afternoon with his attitude. She wasn’t happy about what had happened to him but having the afternoon alone with Coal held too much excitement for her to worry about her brother.

  “I thought you’d come down.” Coal stood at the top of the stairs, a pair of pajama pants slung low on his hips and his chest bare. “What do you have there?”

  If it’s possible, I want you more now than I did that day. Instead of answering, she held out the picture to him and when his gaze landed on it, his lips curled up into a smile but the lightness of it didn’t quiet reach his eyes. “I didn’t know she’d taken a shot of it.” Heat filled her cheeks as she realized her mother had taken a picture forever capturing her most embarrassing moment.

  “You remember.” More of a statement than a question, but she nodded.

  “I remember.” Images of that day continued to float through her mind, wrapping her up and transporting her back to an innocent time.

  Everything about the afternoon at the park was perfect and by the time they made it back to the house for tea and cookies, she knew that it was now or never. Plating the cookies, she glanced up at him. “Marry me, Coal?”

  “Excuse me.” He choked on his iced tea, coughing as he tried to clear his airway.

  “Marry me. I love you. Mommy said one day I’d find a husband, one who would cherish me. Instead…” She stopped, not willing to discuss what had happened behind closed doors. She placed her hand over his, her little hand so small in his larger one. “You gave me the courage to come down from the tree. I want you in my life. Mommy says you can’t be my brother like Jay and Tim, so I’ve decided I want to marry you. Then you can always be here.”

  “Sweetie…” He adjusted uneasily in his chair. “You’re too young to make that decision. You have so much growing to do yet. You don’t know who you want to spend the rest of your life with yet.”

  “I know I want you.”

  “And I’ll always be there for you. I’m like a big brother but the best part is I don’t have to report to your mom and dad. You can tell me anything you want without risking getting in trouble. We can go to the park just like today, and have fun whenever we want, without the commitment of marriage.” He took her hand into his and smiled at her. “One day when you’re older you’ll realize that I’m not the man you want. I’m too old.”

  “What if I still want you?”

  He was silent for a moment, as if unsure what to say. “Then we’ll discuss it when the time comes. No matter what, Syd, you’ll always be my special girl.”

  “I guess my girl has something for older men,” her mother joked, coming near them with a fresh pitcher of tea.

  “You saved me from falling to my death and I became infatuated with you. You must have hated me.” She couldn’t even look up at him. Was she doing that again? No, she’d never stopped wanting him. He had been the one good thing in her life.

  “You were only five feet off the ground. You weren’t going to die.” He sat down next to her on the bed, close enough that their shoulders brushed against each other. “You were so scared of heights. I still don’t know why you even climbed that tree.”

  “I was even more scared of spiders.” She turned her head to look at him. “Billy Fuller had one and backed me up against the tree, threatening to let it loose on me. The only way I could get away from him was up the tree.”

  “Ah, Billy. I remember that little punk.” He reached over and took her hand. “I could never hate you and your infatuation was adorable.”

  “Adorable, but you wouldn’t marry me,” she teased. “I couldn’t have been that cute.”

  “You were cute then but you’re gorgeous now.”

  “You told me that when I was older I would realize you were wrong for me.” She twisted so that she could look at him. “You were wrong. I still want you, Coal Tanner.”

  “Fuck, baby, don’t say that.” He turned to face her.

  “Kiss me.” She reached up and touched his cheek, the five o’clock shade tickling along her fingers. “Please, Coal.”

  “This is wrong. I’m supposed to be your protector.” Even as he argued against it, he leaned into her and claimed her lips.

  The soft peck of a kiss turned hot and full of passion the moment her mouth opened, allowing him access. He wrapped his hand around the back of her head and slid his tongue into her mouth, forcing a moan from deep within her. She wanted him like nothing she’d ever wanted before. He was everything that she would ever need. She yearned to scoot closer to him on the bed, to feel his body against hers, but she resisted the urge out of fear that it would break the spell and he would come back to his senses.

  As if reading her mind, he reached out, wrapped his arm around her waist, and tugged her against him. With one last kiss on her lips, he tipped his head and kissed along her neck. His teeth scrapped over her skin, while he fisted her hair, just enough for her to know he was in control. His warm breath brushed along her neck, sending goosebumps over her skin. Unable to control herself any longer she reached
over to run her fingers along his chest, needing to feel the contours of his muscles under her fingers.

  “Fuck!” He pulled back from her and shot off the bed before she had a chance to stop him.

  “Coal.” Her chest tightened with the sudden change in him.

  “What the fuck am I doing?” He shook his head, sending his shoulder length dark brown locks into his face. “You’re a child, I’m supposed to protect you, not force myself on you.”

  “I’m eighteen and you’re not forcing yourself on me.” Jay thought she was old enough to step up and help him run drugs and who knows what else, while Coal could only see her as a child. This was screwed up on a number of levels. The one person she wanted to see her as a woman was rejecting her.

  “Eighteen…” He leaned against the dresser, his arms crossed over his wide chest, and watched her. “I know. You don’t know what you want. You’ve just begun to live. I remember what I was like at eighteen.”

  “Me too.” She met his gaze, willing to challenge him if he wanted to go down this road. “You were working full time and going to school at night. When you weren’t trying to keep Jay out of trouble, you were helping your mother raise your brothers, or doing things for me. You knew what mattered and had a plan to get out of the city. So don’t you dare stand there and tell me I don’t know what I want.”

  “Syd—”

  “I’m a big girl, Coal. I’ve been on my own since you left. My father was too drunk to give a shit about any of us. Jay was moving into the shit Tim left in his wake and training some young kid to continue running the drugs on the street. With Tim behind bars, Jay thought he was the one running the show, the king of the streets. When Dad got that huge shipment of cocaine, it pissed off Jay but when things went down…”

  “He was thankful that it was your father going to prison instead of him,” he supplied when her words died off. “I know. He called me, relieved that he hadn’t taken that shipment. That was the first time he’d ever admitted to dealing drugs, at least to me. Before that, he only admitted to being a hired hand when needed. He said he’d fuck up anyone who needed it, but he wasn’t a hired hitman.”