Until Sydney: A Tanner Cycle Novel

by Marissa Dobson

  “I want to argue that but I can’t.” There was a softness to his voice that had her glancing over at him. “I know that look. You expected me to argue with you but how can I when I’m not convinced he wouldn’t have tried to kill you? I brought Maverick in because of his military training, thinking he’d be able to keep you safe. If he hadn’t been speaking with the officer who traveled with us to the condo, Jay would have never got the drop on us. When he stepped in, I cursed myself for not checking. I risked your safety because I was relaxed and trusted the men outside the door. He could have killed them and still made it to us but I didn’t even bother to check the peephole before opening the door. That was careless of me and I put you in danger because of it.”

  “Coal.” She set the coffee aside and turned to him. “You protected me; nothing about that was careless. If our shields were down, it was because we were both relaxed and trusted that we were safe. He hadn’t made his move and part of me thought he’d find someplace where he could lie low and not get caught. I hadn’t considered him leaving the country. I realize now I didn’t consider that option because it would have been difficult and too expensive. Jay always took the easy way out and he spent the money he made as fast as it came in. Living beyond our means was one of the reasons the cops started to suspect him picking up things from my father.”

  “Ms. Manor.”

  The sound of her name being called forced her to look away from Coal, only to find the doctor coming toward them. He wouldn’t meet her gaze and before he even opened his mouth, she knew her brother was gone. “No. Get back in there and save him.” Tears swam in her eyes and her chest tightened.

  “I’m sorry. We did everything we could.”

  “You told me he needed surgery. That it was his only chance. Why did you wait? I was sitting by his bedside for over an hour. He should have been taken for surgery immediately!” With every word, her voice grew louder until she was screaming at him. “You did this. He lost his chance because you caused a delay in his care.”

  “Syd.” Coal wrapped his arms around her, holding her tighter as she lashed out at the only person she could.

  “Ms. Manor, I believe my colleague explained that if the surgery had any chance of being successful, there was only one person who could do it. He was two hours away and had just arrived at the hospital when Mr. Manor’s condition began to deteriorate.” He glanced at Coal. “Mr. Tanner saw me in the hallway with another doctor when he hollered for help. That was Doctor Mizanin, the doctor we’ve been waiting for. We were on our way to examine Mr. Manor and have him prepared for surgery. I assure you there was no delay in his treatment and that we were doing everything we could for your brother.”

  “I have to see him.”

  “Are you sure, Syd?” Coal rubbed up and down her arm. “You don’t need to see him like that. He wants you to remember the good times.”

  “I need to…” She wasn’t sure why but she had to see him, had to know for sure he was dead. Maybe it was all the lies she had been told her whole life, but she needed confirmation on this, to know for sure he was truly dead. No matter the reason, she wouldn’t be talked out of it.

  “Very well, I’ll let the nurses know.” The doctor took a step back before pausing. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

  Sorry, as if that changes anything. Even inside her own thoughts, she realized she was being harsh. It wasn’t the doctors’ fault that Jay was dead. He’d brought this on himself the moment he opened fire on law enforcement. Some might even say he deserved what he got but even after everything he did, he was her brother and she couldn’t wish him dead. I already miss you, Jay.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Days passed and finally, the small, intimate affair to honor Jay’s life was behind Sydney but the loss of her brother remained like a hole in her chest. Coal and his brothers had been there every step of the journey for her, comforting her in ways she had never experienced or expected. They had taken her into their fold and in a way, they had become her family. She was in love with Coal and they meant everything to him; therefore, they meant a lot to her, too.

  When she’d first arrived, Coal had told her he wanted her to stay away from Cain. He hadn’t been sure how his brother would react to her presence and considered he might see her as a reminder of the past. No one had expected he would open up to her the way he had. He had followed them to Minneapolis because he’d spotted Jay on their tail and wanted to make sure she was safe. The connection between them grew stronger over the days that followed that terrible night. He had been the one she had been able to confide in and even when she didn’t feel like talking, he seemed to know exactly what she needed to say.

  While Cain had rarely left his cabin in the woods, he had done just that for her—not once, but twice. To have him there for her meant everything to her. Words couldn’t express what that simple gesture meant to her.

  She leaned back against the sofa and let her eyes fall shut. Instantly, her thoughts drifted back to the small memorial service Coal had put together. It wasn’t much because no one knew Jay there in Davenport. Chief Kingsworth and some of the other officers from the Davensport Police Department came to show their support. Even the two officers that had been shot by Jay had made an appearance; he wanted to let her know he had no hard feelings toward her, which was something that had bothered her. Jay had come to Minnesota after her, involving the local and state law enforcement agencies. Knowing one of them had ended up hurt because of her made her feel guilty, even though she hadn’t been the one who’d pulled the trigger.

  The most memorable aspect of the memorial service had been Cain’s presence. He had come to support her, although he had been withdrawn from the others, hovering in the back until he could get a moment of her time. His words were brief but he had made an appearance and made sure she knew he was thinking of her. To some it was a simple gesture but for him, it signified a huge step and this meant more to her than anything else.

  “Syd?” Coal’s voice was low, letting her know he was hoping she had finally fallen asleep and he wasn’t about to wake her.

  “I’m awake.” Opening her eyes, she found him standing a few feet away, still in his suit from earlier but his tie had been loosened as if he could no longer stand the noose around his neck. “I thought you had a business call you had to take.”

  “Cay’s handling it.” He sat down next to her, drawing her into his arms. “You’re more important. Always Syd, always.”

  “I’m fine.” She leaned into his embrace and rested her head on his chest. “It’s been a rough few days but things are bound to get easier. Tomorrow we leave for my first business trip as your assistant. I should be excited about it.”

  “About that, Cay offered to go in my place.”

  “Why?” She tipped her head up toward him so she could see him. “Because of me?”

  “Syd—”

  “No, Coal. You’ve already put too much on hold for me. Your brothers have stepped up to help, doing things you would normally do on top of their own work. I appreciate it because it gave us time together and I needed that. But enough is enough. Getting back to work will help me move forward. But there’s something else I must do.”

  “Name it.”

  “I have to go to Waynesburg, Pennsylvania. I need to see my father and find out the truth.”

  “He might not discuss it.” He rubbed small circles down the length of her back. “There’s no statute of limitation on murder. If he admits he killed your biological father, he could face charges for it if enough evidence is gathered. As it stands, he could be released from prison before he dies. Unlikely, but it’s possible. Another murder charge and that possibility disappears.”

  “Then we’ll see Tim. He’s on death row in the same supermax security prison.” She watched him for a moment before adding, “I have to at least try.”

  He seemed to consider it for a moment before he nodded. “I understand the need to know the truth but there might be another option. If I ca
n get you the answers without involving your father or Tim, would that satisfy you?”

  “How? Because if I could have thought of another option I wouldn’t be considering visiting my father. He’s the one who planted the idea in Jay’s head that he needed to kill me before I could testify against him. What kind of father does that?”

  “Maverick’s mother.” He paused, allowing her a moment to let that sink in. “I never considered the possibility that your mother had an affair but Jay’s announcement made things click. She raised Maverick alone after her husband abandoned her and to supplement her income, she rented out the basement apartment.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Anthony Brown rented the apartment. I was there a lot hanging out with Maverick. He lived closer to me so I would stop by his house and we’d head over to Jay’s together. It wasn’t until Jay mentioned an affair that I remembered seeing your mother there a lot.” His hand stilled at the center of her back and his gaze found hers. “Anthony went missing a month after you were born. If I remember what I overheard, the police believed he was murdered. I was only ten at the time so I might not be remembering things correctly, but I believe they found blood in the apartment.”

  “Can you call her and see what she remembers? If she knows anything?”

  “If your mother confided in anyone, it would have been her. They were good friends. Your mom was close to my mom too, but we can’t ask her.” He slid his hand into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. “I’ll call her and see what she remembers. If she can be of help, we can stop and see her before we leave town.”

  “Leave town? She lives here?”

  “I convinced her to come to Minnesota a few months after we settled here. Maverick was picking up work from us when he was on leave from the military and it seemed logical for her to be here, too. She’s the last family we have and I wanted her close.” He unlocked the phone screen and scrolled down to her number. “It’s been over a year now that she’s been dating again. He’s an electrician and things are starting to get serious. Now that Maverick is out of the service, he’s settled down here as well. Family is important and having them close by means more now than it did when I was younger because I know what the loss is like.”

  “Losing someone close to you makes you cling to those who are still there with you. For months after Mom died, I was terrified anytime Jay left the house. I thought he’d end up dead just like Mom. Fear controlled me so much that I followed him once.”

  “I bet Jay was pissed if he found out.”

  “Pissed doesn’t begin to cover it. I’d never seen him so mad at me.” She let out a deep sigh. “That’s when I realized he was running drugs. He wasn’t the dealer on the corner as he had done while he was in school. He was bigger than that. He had others working for him, doing the actual dealings.”

  “It wasn’t just drugs.” He held her tighter to him, as if he was worried she’d pull away. “Guns were another big money maker for him. Anything illegal he could get his hands in, he’d do it. That’s when I realized I had to sever my connection to him. Callaway, Cain, and Cyrus were underage; they needed me. As their legal guardian, I couldn’t risk involvement with him.”

  “But you were still there for him. You bailed him out of jail; you hired lawyers for him.”

  “No, Syd, not for him.” His gaze locked on hers for a moment as she realized what he was saying. “It was always for you. You couldn’t stay there alone with your father and once he was in prison, Jay was all you had. I considered letting him rot in jail but that meant you’d be put in the foster care system and I didn’t want that for you.”

  “Thank you.” She cupped the side of his face, dragging her fingers along the light stubble of his five-o’clock shadow. “Even though you weren’t there, you were still thinking of me. Your actions prove it.”

  “I thought of you every day. Each morning I’d wake up, shut off the alarm, and see the picture of us together, and that picture was the last thing I saw before I went to sleep. You were a part of my thoughts every day.” He tipped his head and kissed the palm of her hand. “You’ve always held my heart; it just wasn’t until recently that I discovered you’re the woman I want to share the rest of my life with.”

  “I’ve known you were the man I wanted to spend my life with since I was six years old.” She slipped her leg over his waist and climbed on top of him so her body was straddling his. “Mom told me to be patient and one day I’d have all my heart’s desires. Patience was never my strong suit but she was right: it paid off. I got you.”

  “I’m glad you see it that way.” He looped his arm around her back and brought her closer, chest to chest.

  “Patience is about to pay off in another way.” Reaching down between them, she grabbed the hem of her shirt before quickly pulling it over her head. “While we didn’t get to have sex on your old desk before it was hauled away, there’s new office furniture that needs to be broken in. I think we’ve waited long enough.”

  “I guess it’s a good thing Cay is taking the business call at the house instead of in my office.” He glanced at the phone he was still holding with his aunt’s phone number on the display, waiting for him to press the call button. “Shouldn’t we force our patience to last just a little bit longer and let me make this call first?”

  “No. Whatever we learn won’t change anything. If Anthony is my father, then he’s dead so it’s a closed door; and if he’s not, then it still leads me to wondering who. I’m not sure I really care anymore. The man I’ve always thought was my father and both my brothers are criminals, each of them with blood on their hands…I guess the idea there may be another man who could be my biological father is a weight lifted off my shoulders. Perhaps I’m better than them because I’m not them. I guess I’d like to live with the hope they’re no relation to me for a little bit longer.”

  “Then let’s not waste any more time.” He dropped the phone onto the sofa cushion and tipped his head, motioning for her to get up.

  She hopped off him and headed toward the stairs, slipping out of the rest of her clothes as she did, and leaving a trail for him to follow. “Come on, handsome.”

  “You better hope no one’s in my office,” he teased as he followed her, his own tie and shirt already discarded.

  “What?” She paused on the steps, just before she would have disappeared out of sight, and glanced back at him.

  “I’m teasing.” Catching up to her, he lifted her into his arms, pressing her naked body against his chiseled chest. “Everyone is over at the house. Cay was the last one hanging around, but he left before I came up here. We’re alone.”

  “Jerk.” She smacked her hand off his chest. “You had me terrified I’d walk naked into your office and find one of your brothers there. I could have never looked at them again.”

  “Don’t worry, baby. I’d have killed them for catching a glimpse of my girl naked.”

  He carried her down the rest of the steps as her thoughts continued to circle around the way he’d said my girl. She still couldn’t believe she was finally with him. An official couple. For years, she’d dreamed of him, but to actually have him in her life like he was still shocked her.

  “Don’t get lost in your thoughts.”

  “I wouldn’t be taken out of this moment kicking and screaming. I’ve been looking forward to it since we ordered the furniture.” As they stepped into the office, she looked at the matching dark maple executive desks with the black drawer handles and black leather office chairs to match. The only item on top of the desk was the office phone. Everything was still stacked on the filing cabinet that ran along the back wall, waiting for them to put things where they belonged. “I’m sorry.”

  “What baby?”

  “If it wasn’t for me, we’d have the office back in working order and Cay wouldn’t be covering for you.”

  He lowered her down onto the top of the desk. “Don’t, Syd. None of this is your fault. You’re more important to me and C
ay’s capable of handling things. As for the office not being set up yet, it’s all for the better; this way we don’t have to move anything. I can have you spread out over the desks…or fuck, I think we need to do it on both desks. I’ll have you screaming my name every which way and there won’t be a single inch of this office that won’t remind you of tonight.”

  “Promises.” She shot him a cocky grin. Maybe it was because she was willing to forget about everything but them for a few hours, or maybe part of her believed him—either way it didn’t matter.

  “Let me show you.” Without giving her a chance to respond, he pressed his lips to hers. Slipping his tongue between her lips, he devoured her, forcing her to arch into him.

  “You’re overdressed.” She hooked her fingers in the waistband of his dress slacks.

  “Don’t worry, baby. I’m planning on losing them soon. Don’t think, just feel.” He kissed along her jawline until he reached the sweet spot just below her ear.

  “I feel…” She let out a soft moan as his cool breath brushed along her flushed skin moments before his teeth grazed along her neck. “Your pants…material. I want you naked.”

  The feeling of being overwhelmed and lost in a sea of emotions were gone now that she was in his arms. She needed him like her next breath of air. He was her knight in shining armor and brought her back from the edge. He was her everything.

  Claiming her nipple with his teeth, he scattered her thoughts. He teased the bud of her nipple between his teeth, gently tugging it until it hardened, and then moved over to the next one.

  “Before you came into my life I never thought about making love on the desk but if you keep doing that, I’m going to take charge and you’ll be on that chair with me riding you.” She raked her nails lightly down the front of his chest and let her gaze linger on his. “Coal, I need you.”