Like a Bird

by Varga, Laurie

  Back in his office, he started the software for his tracking device, but the weather was not cooperating; he was unable to connect with a satellite. He cursed and slammed his fist on his keyboard, smashing it in half. Wisdom ran for the cover of an armchair with her tail between her legs. Gareth put his face in his hands for a moment and sighed, then stared at his screen as if something would magically appear.

  Rose peeked into the room with her raincoat on. “Takao and I are going to out to look for Sky. We won’t be gone long if you need anything.”

  “I’m coming with you,” Gareth said and followed Rose downstairs.

  He ducked into the kitchen to collect half a baguette and a bag of salami. He stuffed both in the large pockets of his military raincoat, slipped on his rain boots, and checked the tracking app on his phone. Still no signal.

  The three of them split up with Gareth heading west, Rose heading southwest, and her brother scrambling over the rocks to the northwest. Water from the heavy rain dripped from Gareth’s hair, reminding him that Sky was out in the woods alone with no cover. He knew hypothermia could overtake her and she might not last the night. He imagined running his fingers over her smooth, pale skin and her beautiful amber eyes staring up at him, taking in every crevice on his face. Gareth called out to her, but the wind carried his voice back to the house. Even a voice as deep as his was no match for the thunder that followed. In the distance ahead a bolt of lightning struck a tall pine and sent an ear-splitting echo through the valley.

  Four beating hearts stumbling through the woods did not offer a bright enough beacon in such a vast landscape. Slick mud, large roots, and the encroaching darkness make it hard for Gareth to keep his footing. He slipped on a wet log and fell into a river of mud. As he picked himself up, he noticed his dinner had flown out of his pockets and was getting soaked. He shook the food off and ate the clean parts of the bread, the salami still safe in its wrapping.

  Gareth called out again and heard her name bounce off the rocks and return to him. With his head lifted toward the clouds he screamed out her name until his throat hurt. He heard his own name behind him and turned to see Takao sliding down the muddy hill.

  Takao frowned and shook his head; there was no sign of Sky. The two of them followed the trail back up the hill toward the house, the evening growing darker with each footstep.

  As soon as he was inside and had taken off his wet clothes, Gareth was itching to head back out. Wearing fresh jeans and a T-shirt, he grabbed an old keyboard out of the closet and sat at his computer, trying to make a connection. When it failed he paced around the room, rubbing his chin as he mumbled to himself.

  His phone rang and he rushed to pick it up. It was a picture and a message from Kitty.

  I messed up and I’m sorry. Will you call me?

  Gareth scowled and dropped his phone back on the desk. From the window he looked out over the dark valley, seeing nothing but flashes of rain in the house lights. He picked up his phone to take a closer look at the image Kitty had sent. Her pink hair fell over her shoulders and Gareth’s eyes drifted from the smile on her bright lips to her breasts, where cleavage spilled out of a blue top with lace trim. The distraction provided only momentary relief.

  Gareth walked into the kitchen to find Rose scurrying about. She broke out of her trance when she saw the towering outline of him in the doorway and offered to make him tea. Gareth insisted he make it himself. Rose left him to stare out the kitchen window at the soaked earth as the kettle boiled.

  With a hot cup in his hand, he went to the library for solace. He placed the cup next to the chair, but as soon as he sat his foot began to shake. He resumed pacing, stopping now and again to stare at the animated flames in the fireplace, his brow furrowed and his chin cupped in his hand.

  The dancing yellow light whispered something to him. He left the library to gather supplies from the storage room and packed them in an old surplus backpack. He donned his rain gear, still damp from his earlier foray into the storm, and turned to Rose, who stood behind him in the foyer, waiting for instruction.

  “I’m going to be gone all night,” he said. “I’ll return just after sunrise.”

  Rose frowned but said nothing as her gaze followed the bulky, waterproof figure out the front door and down the trail.

  - -

  Kitty walked into her living room to find Daniella making out with someone on the sofa. Daniella startled at the interruption and pulled her face away from the boy she was attached to. Kitty was surprised to see Johnathan, her one-afternoon-stand sitting beside her roommate.

  “Oh, hi!” Kitty said, still excited from her coffee date with Creep.

  Johnathan stared at her with his mouth slack. Daniella wiped her lips with the back of her hand, too surprised to speak.

  “Carry on,” Kitty said and went into her bedroom.

  She gathered her sketchbook and pencils and sat at her desk, clearing off all the crap with a swipe of her arm. She turned up her music and sketched out the designs that had existed only in her head.

  For almost two hours she wore down the graphite as her ideas spilled onto the pages. A hollow rumble in her stomach finally forced her to put her pencil down and raid the cupboards for a fast meal. Kitty grabbed a thick chunk of cheese and some crackers and returned to her desk.

  Just after lunch she looked at the clock. “Oh, shit!” She spun around in her chair to find clean clothes for work. She threw on a simple stretchy dress and plain heels, spritzed herself with perfume in lieu of a shower, and ran, as best as she could in heels, to the bus stop.

  Kitty hollered to the driver just pulling away from the stop. He noticed her pink hair waving behind her like a vibrant flag and stopped to let her on. She dropped herself into a seat, where she began applying makeup. The rough ride made for a messy application so Kitty didn’t dare attempt mascara.

  She arrived at the shoe store with her hair windblown, her dress in a twist, and makeup hastily applied. Her manager, behind the counter training a new hire, raised her eyebrows at Kitty, who just smiled and headed toward the back room. In the half-assed bathroom with a dim light, she adjusted her dress and fixed her makeup. Looking somewhat pulled together, she strutted out into the showroom.

  “You’re an hour late,” her manager said.

  “I’m so sorry, I don’t have a good excuse. I just lost track of time.”

  The manager glowered at Kitty. She lectured the new hire about the importance of punctuality as if Kitty weren’t standing there. Kitty went to the back room and pretended to organize the shoe boxes, although there was nothing out of place and there were no new shipments that needed sorting.

  The manager eventually found Kitty waterproofing a pair of shoes with toxic spray. She made a futile effort to wave the cloud of chemicals out of her face. “It’s become clear that you don’t really want this job, so I’m letting you go. Collect your things and head home. You’ll be paid for a half day. You can pick up your check next Friday.” Without waiting for a response, the manager left. Kitty couldn’t hold back the sadness that crept up from her stomach and filled her eyes with tears. It was a good thing she wasn’t wearing mascara.

  On the bus ride home she slumped in the seat like a limp doll with her head pressed against the window. Her phone buzzed away in her purse, but she wasn’t compelled to pull it out. Staring out the window with glazed eyes, Kitty was oblivious to the constant flow of people.

  “Oh my gawd, is that Kitty? The Kitty from the Kat’s Meow?” A thin man with bleached hair and eyeliner gasped as held onto the bus railing with one hand and pressed his other hand to his chest. He leaned in toward a forlorn Kitty, who slowly turned toward him and his tall friend. The man reached out and took her hand.

  “Oh my gawd, I’m a huge fan of your show.” The bus slammed to a halt nearly sending him flying backward. He caught himself in time. “Holy shit, the bus drivers in this city are insane. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve almost died on public transit. It’s a complete tr
avesty. Oh, but darling, your show, it’s amazing. I watch it religiously,” he gushed.

  The tall man rolled his eyes. “It’s true,” he confirmed.

  Kitty smiled and pulled her hand out of the stranger’s light grip. “Thank you, you’re very kind. It’s nice to meet my fans.”

  “I’m Oscar, by the way. Oh, how rude I hadn’t even introduced myself until now. Could we get a picture?” The man pointed at himself and Kitty. Before she could respond, he passed the phone to his companion, who held it up as Oscar squeezed next to Kitty and threw his arm around her. Like a dutiful celebrity she put on her photogenic mask and smiled sweetly for the camera. Oscar insisted on two more photos because he wasn’t showing his best side. When they finished he thanked her profusely.

  As the bus approached her stop all eyes were locked on her, examining each movement as she stumbled to the back door and lurched down the stairs with her big purse and bulging plastic bag of paraphernalia from work. She stopped to take a breath just inside the front door of her building, which smelled like urine today.

  Kitty’s phone vibrated against her hip. She ignored it and trudged on until she was in the safety of her room and free of the sweaty plastic bag that represented everything she knew she sucked at. Even the purse, its bright blue leather that felt like baby’s skin under her fingertips, was bought with her employee discount. With its delicate gold hardware and absurd price tag, it was harder to hate. She figured she could sell it to buy groceries, if it came to that.

  She threw herself onto the bed and imagined the cracks in the ceiling were like the cracks in her career — about to crumble and fall on top of her.

  Her reverie was shattered by a crash from the kitchen.

  “Doesn't she ever work?” Kitty said out loud, getting up to investigate. As she rounded the corner, Kitty screamed when she saw a man from behind with long, dark hair, raiding the cupboard in search of a coffee mug. Johnathan turned around and Kitty's heart rate began to return to normal.

  “Oh, it’s you,” she said.

  “Hi,” he replied. “Sorry about the glass. Um, I’ll clean it up. I was just trying to make some coffee. I’m sorry about the glass. I’ll replace it, if you want. It’s just, I don’t have a job right now so . . .”

  “Neither do I,” Kitty said. She returned to her room. Johnathan followed and poked his head through the doorway. Kitty dropped onto her bed.

  “That really sucks about your job." Johnathan looked confused. “I thought you did that video thing. I heard you’re really popular. Well, that’s what Daniella said.”

  “Yeah well, I’m not popular enough to pay the bills. I just lost a good part-time job today.”

  “Mm, well you’re smart and pretty. I’m sure you’ll find another job right away.”

  Kitty smiled. “Thanks.”

  Her phone vibrated next to her. Kitty groaned and threw herself backward.

  “You should get that,” Johnathan said.

  “I don’t feel like talking to anyone right now.”

  “What if it’s good news?” Johnathan leaned on the doorframe.

  Kitty lifted her head. “What if it’s not?”

  Kitty pulled herself up and picked up her phone. She glanced at Johnathan.

  “I’m gonna go clean up the glass,” he said, taking the hint.

  “That’s a good idea,” Kitty agreed as she tapped on her phone to hear the voice mail.

  “Hi Katherine, this is Kris from Dream Date. I’m calling to let you know your application has been approved. I need you to call me back right away to get your password so you can set up your profile. If I don’t hear back from you within twenty-four hours I’ll assume you’re not interested and your application will be void. Thanks.”

  Kitty replayed the message to be sure she had heard it right.

  "Holy mother Mary of fucking gawd!” Kitty pranced over to her computer and turned on some music, turned on the video camera, and hit record. “When you get good news, you just gotta dance,” she squealed and proceeded to shake her hips and swish her pink hair. At first, she didn’t notice Johnathan return to her doorway.

  “Oh, honey you were so right!’

  Johnathan’s face brightened. “I was?”

  Kitty hopped over to him and gave him a big squeeze. “I have to tell Daniella.” Bending over to pick up her phone off the floor, she flashed her underwear at the boy in the doorway, who didn’t know what to say or do with the sudden energy in the room.

  “Oh, shit!” Kitty ran to her computer to pause the recording.

  - -

  A bright light broke through the darkness of the woods. Gareth approached the familiar cave and crawled through the small opening, his backpack catching on the sharp rocks and jolting him backward. He removed his rain poncho and then the bag to pass through the entrance. Inside the cave was high enough for even Gareth to stand upright, though he squatted to empty the contents of his bag on the dirt floor. Gareth had visited this cave many times and had stored a generous collection of kindling and wood. He gathered an armful of fire-making supplies and crawled back outside. Running west along the valley floor, he found a sheltered place to build a fire in hopes Sky might be drawn to it.

  Gareth started a second small fire near the cave entrance. Fissures in the rock ensured the smoke signal would drift up, as though the gods had intentionally crafted this perfect hiding place. The small fire warmed the cave, and Gareth used it to boil water for another cup of tea. He prepared a place to sleep, sweeping away the small rocks so they didn’t jab him through the thin mat he placed on the ground. He sat down and let the steaming mug warm his hands. Though he couldn’t feel much through his scarred left palm, the heat ran through his body and reached to his core.

  Gareth passed an hour or so by whittling rough animal shapes from a large stick. Growing bored with that, he carved an arrow on the end of another thick stick and carefully smoothed the edges and refined the point by the firelight. Outside the cave, the sound of water dripping and trickling back to the creek accented the silence. Gareth left three times to check on his second fire, but even in the darkness, there was no sign of activity.

  Inside the cave, red and orange flames created a meditative backdrop that allowed Gareth’s thoughts to settle like a pond after a storm. Though his breath was steady he was still unable to shake the dread that squeezed his chest, and he lay awake long into the night, listening to the rustle of small animals scurrying about in the deep crevices behind him.

  - -

  Before the sun emerged, Gareth startled awake. His heart raced and his bones ached from the hard ground that was nothing like the mattress he was accustomed to. He tried to wipe the blackness from his eye but still he could see hardly anything in front of him.

  A strange rattling sound came from the crevices behind him. Gareth felt around for his flashlight and shone it into the black cracks where shiny little eyes reflected back at him followed by the scraping of sharp nails on the rocks as tiny critters scattered. The rattling abated. Gareth took a deep breath and thrust his arm into the largest crevice, expecting to be bitten or scratched. Instead, there was a small gasp from inside as his hand brushed damp cloth with soft flesh underneath.

  “Sky? What are you doing in there?”

  The only response was quiet sniffling.

  “It’s OK. Please come out. You need to get warm.” Gareth held out his hand to her and she slid out of the awkward hole, one small body part at a time; though stiff and sore she managed to wiggle her way out. Her skin was cold and she was shaking uncontrollably, whether from a chill or fear, neither of them could say. Gareth sat on the ground and directed her to sit in his lap. He wrapped the sleeping bag around her and held her tightly.

  “We’re going home,” he said.

  Sky may have nodded; it was hard to tell. Gareth kissed the top of her head and she leaned into him, her wet hair making a dark impression on his shirt.

  - -

  Rose greeted them on the doorstep with h
er hair a mess and bags under her eyes as though she hadn’t slept. Gareth carried Sky, who had stopped shivering and was now mumbling nonsense.

  “We need to get her in a warm bath right away,” Gareth said to Rose, who nodded and rushed up the stairs to run water. Gareth placed Sky on the floor and threw all his gear in a pile before scooping her back up and taking her to her bedroom where Rose was filling the tub.

  “Not too hot,” he instructed, “keep it lukewarm and we’ll add hot water as she begins to thaw.”

  The two of them peeled off her damp clothes as Sky slurred tearful apologies over and over. Gareth lifted her into the tub and she slid down until the water almost covered her head. Gareth held her under her arms. He swept her hair out of her face and touched her blue lips that eerily suited her. He remained crouched next to the tub for a long while as her skin began to warm and her fingers glowed pink again.

  “What are you going to do to me?” she whispered, returning to her senses.

  Gareth shook his head. “Nothing,” he whispered back.

  Sky turned on her side to rest her head against his arm that was still holding her.

  “Don’t ever take off like that again,” he pleaded, the words rolling out more gruff than he intended.

  - -

  A few days later, Gareth stood on a ladder installing another camera in the basement when his phone buzzed. He stopped to pull it out of his pocket. It was a message from Elise.

  Are will still on for lunch today?

  I am, are you?

  I know I’ve been lousy, I’m sorry. Heading over soon.

  Gareth finished installing the camera and cleaned the lens with a cloth. Satisfied with his workmanship, he climbed down and stored everything back in his workshop. He had changed the code on the door and developed a system to alter it each week, although there was nothing left to discover in his workshop.