Old Sins, Long Shadow

by PG Forte

  “The girl you had me chase out of here tonight? Your big, scary feral kitten?”

  “It has a name now? How wonderful.”

  “Hey! She has a name. All right? And lighten up, would you? She’s not nearly as out of control as you made her out to be.”

  “I’m delighted you think so. But, as I told you earlier, that one’s living on borrowed time. So if you want my advice, keep your distance, my friend. Don’t get too attached.”

  Marc glared at him. “It’s a little late for that, bro. I already am.”

  “Well. That is unfortunate. I’m sorry to hear it.”

  “Yeah, well, here’s some more bad news for you. I’m going to be very seriously pissed off if anything happens to her. So I need to figure out a way to make sure everybody gets the message to back off and leave her alone.”

  Drew shook his head. “I’m sorry, Marc, but I very much doubt you’ll be able to pull a trick like that off—not even if you were to get Conrad’s backing. Which I have to tell you, is in itself highly unlikely.”

  “Oh, I’ll get his backing, if that’s what it’s going to take. Just see if I don’t. But, look, forget about that for now. Are you about ready to get out of here? Because I’m sure as hell ready to blow off some steam and it looks like you could use it as well.”

  “Sorry to have to disappoint you yet again.” Drew tossed his ledger aside and leaned on the bar. “But I’m afraid we’re going to have to call a halt to our little excursions. At least for the foreseeable future.”

  “What?” Marc’s mouth dropped open. “Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you’re sulking because I spent time with Heather tonight, instead of you? Or are you suddenly worried about what Conrad’s going to think? What’s the problem? I’ve got clout—remember? You said so yourself. I might as well use this ‘favorite son’ bullshit to our advantage, don’t you think?”

  Drew’s eyebrows rose. “And is your clout sufficient to shield us both from Conrad’s wrath? I fear I’m not feeling nearly so confident in that regard. We’ve both known all along how little he would care for our activities. Even you have heard him expound on the need to exhibit caution when dealing with humans. Did you not say so?”

  Marc laughed mirthlessly. “Heard him? I’ll say. I think I grew up hearing nothing else.”

  “Grew up?” Drew repeated, clearly puzzled by the reference—but no more surprised than Marc himself. What had happened to the lifelong ban on talking about such things? How had the words even made it past his lips?

  Hiding his surprise as best he could he faked a nonchalant shrug. “Grew as a vampire I mean. It’s a figure of speech.”

  Drew inclined his head. “All right, if you say so. In any case, up until now I thought the benefits outweighed the risks and, I confess, I too was counting on your sway with Conrad to keep us both out of trouble. But tonight I received some very disturbing news and it’s forced me to reevaluate some things.”

  “What kind of news?”

  “It appears we’re not the only two vampires who’ve been targeting the city’s undesirables lately. There’s been a rash of attacks on humans. People have been mauled, exsanguinated, left for dead. There have already been several casualties—although, luckily, no one yet suspects the real cause. It’s only a matter of time before they do, however, even in this skeptical age. And once Conrad and the other Heads of Households get wind of what’s been going on—as they most certainly will—I suspect things will turn really ugly.”

  “What’s it got to do with us? We’re not attacking people. I mean, not like that, we’re not!”

  “This is true. But have you never heard the term guilty by association?”

  “What association? Drew, we’re not doing anything wrong.”

  Drew shook his head. “That, I’m afraid, is a matter of opinion and, when it comes down to it, I’d just as soon not have to try and prove my innocence to my sire when he is in a temper. I’ve seen him under such circumstances, Marc, and I have no wish to be the object of his rage.”

  Marc glanced curiously at his friend, wondering at the grim expression on his face. “Whatever,” he sighed feeling more than a little disgruntled. Why couldn’t Drew have sprung this on him before he cut Danny loose after taking only a couple of mouthfuls? For that matter, how come he couldn’t have said something earlier this evening? Maybe then Marc wouldn’t have been in such a rush to leave Elise’s bed. “So what do we do now?”

  Drew shrugged. “Go home. Eat in. I understand your sister’s boyfriend may soon be made available to the general populace once more. I don’t know if you’ve sampled Brennan yet, but if you get the chance, I highly recommend him.”

  “Where the hell did you hear that?” Marc regarded Drew with surprise. He knew Julie hadn’t been talking and it wasn’t likely Brennan had let it slip either. Not before Julie was ready for word of it to get out. Not if he knew what was good for him.

  “Knowledge is power, my friend,” Drew replied, smiling slyly. “Live long enough and you’ll begin to see the wisdom of keeping your eyes open and your ear to the ground. Contrary to popular opinion, it’s precisely what you don’t know that hurts you in most cases. Surprise is a weapon like any other. It’s only beneficial when you’re the one who wields it.”

  Julie’s mind was hazed in a fog of lust by the time they arrived back at the mansion; a fog that dissipated considerably as soon as the gatehouse came into view. Not that there was anything wrong with her having gone out with Armand tonight—she’d been perfectly within her right to do so. But it didn’t mean she’d moved on already either, and she didn’t want to give Brennan the impression she had.

  Biting her lip, she cast a quick glance at the sky. She was relieved to note how very close it was to daybreak. Good. Brennan would already be off duty. By now, in fact, he was probably already settled comfortably in front of his TV with a beer and some snacks. Misery tore at her heart as she remembered all the evenings she’d spent curled beside him on the couch, his arm slung over her shoulders, his blood filling her mouth again and again…

  I thought we were happy. How did it all go so wrong?

  If only she’d kept quiet this evening when he’d started complaining. If only she’d kept her thoughts to herself. Maybe, then, this would all have blown over and nothing would have had to change…

  “Everything okay?” Armand asked, giving her hand a comforting little squeeze.

  His concern warmed her. “Yes, thanks,” she said, flashing him her brightest smile because she was just so grateful for his friendship, his thoughtfulness, his company—particularly tonight, when she really hadn’t wanted to be alone. “I had fun tonight.” Hell, she was even grateful for that trace of heat that glazed his eyes as he looked at her. It was nice to be appreciated, nice to know she was wanted by someone, even if it was still entirely too soon for her to even think about being with anyone else. Especially someone like Armand.

  Armand lifted their clasped hands to his lips. “I’m glad.” The kiss he pressed against her knuckles was tender and might even have counted as sweet, were it not for the slight scrape of fang sending shivers down her spine. He met her eyes with a knowing look. “The night’s not over yet, ma petite.”

  Shaken, Julie glanced back up at the sky. “Oh, I don’t know. It looks pretty close to over, if you ask me.”

  “Only if you want it to be. Do you?”

  “I-I don’t know,” she stuttered, too surprised by the question to lie. Her answer earned her another of those nerve-rattling smiles.

  Why should she be so surprised by the way he affected her? Despite his typically gentle demeanor, in her heart of hearts she’d known from the start he was not someone who should be taken lightly. There was a depth to him that both intrigued and frightened her. All her life she’d longed to know others of her kind. She always imagined she wanted a mate who would be her match…maybe a little more than her match. Someone stronger and more powerful than she. Someone who could make her feel like one of the heroine
s in those romance novels she loved to read, a little bit vulnerable, a little unsure.

  It was hard to feel that way when your dates were human and you were one of the bloodsucking undead. Which was one of the many reasons she’d fallen so hard for Brennan, who knew what she was and still seemed to treat her like a regular girl. Who’d never appeared discomfited by the knowledge she held his life in her hands each time he allowed her to feed. Who’d never appeared anything other than confident, competent and unconcerned about the danger she represented. Until tonight.

  As they climbed the stairs to the front porch, Julie could not keep from sighing sadly as she recalled again the look on Brennan’s face when she’d first woken up this evening. It wasn’t something they’d ever talked about, so she couldn’t say for certain, but it seemed a good bet that vulnerable and unsure was not how Brennan had ever dreamed of being made to feel…other than in a nightmare, perhaps.

  “Come to my room,” Armand suggested as he held the door open for her. “There’s time yet, before dawn. We can talk for a while. And if, perchance, we work up an appetite and you get hungry again, we can order in.”

  Julie glanced at him in surprise. His smile said he was only joking…but was he really? “I don’t think so. It’s late and I haven’t unpacked and there’s the party tomorrow. I want to get settled in before I go to sleep.” She sighed again at the thought that she’d be sleeping alone. Her bed would feel so empty…

  “Perhaps I should come to your room instead then? I could help you get settled.”

  Julie shook her head. “I don’t think so.” She should never have kissed him in the alley tonight—that was where she’d made her mistake. She should have realized it would send him the wrong kinds of signals, but she’d been in the moment and hadn’t been thinking clearly. She’d gotten carried away by the thrill of the chase, by the venom and the blood…although she didn’t know why that should be the case.

  From the time she was a little girl she’d hunted the streets at night. True, she’d been accompanied by either Conrad or Damian for the most part, but this wasn’t the first time she’d been accosted or faced danger. It certainly wasn’t the first time she’d seen a male of her species put his game face on, but she’d gotten a charge from it just the same.

  Armand had fascinated her tonight. He’d been playful and deadly and self-assured. And persistent. So very persistent.

  “So…you don’t think so,” he murmured as they crossed the mansion’s wide foyer, and headed for the stairs. “But you’re not sure. Is that what you’re saying? What would it take to persuade you, I wonder?”

  “I don’t know. But I don’t think I want you to try.” In actuality, what she was really wondering was whether it would take any persuading at all. Maybe she should spend the day with him. Was it really that bad of an idea? Deep down, she knew it was. Getting involved with Armand would not be smart—not unless she was very, very sure it was what she wanted. Because this could never be something she could easily walk away from.

  “Chérie,” he said, a tinge of reproach coloring his voice. He tugged on her hand and brought her to a halt with one foot on the bottommost step. “You don’t really mean that, do you?”

  “Julie?” Conrad emerged from the library, surprising them so that they jumped apart. Just as though we were guilty of something, Julie thought, annoyed at herself for even thinking such a thing. “I thought that was you I heard coming in. What a pleasant surprise. We don’t often see you here this late at night.”

  “We were just out. Dancing.” A blush warmed Julie’s cheeks as she heard herself stumbling over the words. “And-and having a bit of a snack. You know.” As though I were ashamed. As though I had something to hide.

  “Wonderful.” Smiling, Conrad crossed the foyer to join them. He gave her a quick hug and nodded genially at Armand. “And you, my friend? You had good hunting, I hope?”

  Armand sighed. “Oui,” he answered, sounding much more glum than Julie thought the question warranted. “It was…a very pleasant evening.” The look he gave her was resigned, almost regretful. It chilled her to the core. Pleasant? Was that all he could think to say about it? If the look on his face was any indication, even that was an exaggeration. Had he only been pretending to enjoy her company?

  Conrad’s arm was still wrapped around her. Julie allowed herself to lean into his shoulder just a little, to luxuriate in the strength and the comfort radiating from him. For a moment, she felt as safe and cared for as she always had as a child. On an impulse she turned and kissed his cheek. “It’s late. I think I should say goodnight. To both of you,” she added, shooting a semi-apologetic glance at Armand who was watching with that same resigned expression on his face. “I’m tired. It’s time I went to bed.”

  “Of course.” Conrad gave her another affectionate squeeze. “Why don’t you let me walk you out? Was there something in particular you needed here before you go?”

  Walk me out? Julie pulled back, startled by the question. “Well…no, I… Actually, I was just going upstairs. I-I thought you knew? I decided to move back in here for a little while. Didn’t Damian tell you?”

  “No.” Conrad’s mouth tightened into a grim line. His voice stayed level and he hid it well, but Julie could tell he was furious. “He…neglected to mention it, I’m afraid. What with all the preparations for the party, no doubt it slipped his mind.”

  “But, it is all right…isn’t it? You don’t mind?”

  “Of course I don’t mind,” Conrad replied, almost crossly. “What a question to ask! My house is your house, child. Always. You have your room picked out already, I assume? And everything you need there?”

  Julie nodded. “Yes, thank you. I think so.”

  “Good.” Smiling, Conrad placed a hand beneath her elbow. “But, all the same, why don’t I go up with you and make sure you’re settled comfortably?”

  “I’d like that,” Julie murmured grateful to have had the decision taken from her and feeling only the tiniest bit guilty at the look of chagrin on Armand’s face as they said their goodnights and left him behind.

  From the comfort of one of the armchairs with which Julie’s room was furnished, Conrad watched his daughter unpack her belongings and put them away. The scene brought back such fond memories. “This reminds me a little of all the moves we made while you and your brother were growing up,” he told her. “What a long time ago it seems now. It’s nice to have you both back under my roof again. I’ve missed you.”

  Julie glanced at him curiously. “Is it all right to talk about that? I thought we weren’t allowed?”

  “I hope you know I would never object to your speaking your mind without good cause,” he said, mindful of Damian’s earlier admonishment. It would be cruel to disallow the twins any relief from the burden of silence. “When it’s just the two of us alone like this, we can discuss whatever you wish. There are only a very few subjects I would keep secret from you.”

  An odd expression flickered across Julie’s face. For a moment, Conrad expected her to put his assertion to the test. “We missed you too,” she said instead. “You and Damian. And I know it wasn’t your idea we come here, Grandfather, but I’m glad you didn’t make us leave. It was too lonely with just the two of us.”

  Grandfather. Conrad smiled again—this time at the memory of Damian teaching the children to call him that when they were very young. At the time it had seemed to be the simplest way of describing his relationship to the children he’d accidentally sired in the process of attempting to sire their mother. He sighed. “Yes, my dear. I’m sure it was very lonely for you. And I apologize for that.” There was very little anyone could tell him of loneliness or the vampiric imperative to maintain contact with the other members of one’s bloodline. It took an exceptionally strong will, or an equally strong motivation, to keep one’s distance for any length of time. “But at least there were two of you. You still had each other.”

  “I know,” Julie said as she went back to her work. “It
just wasn’t the same, that’s all.”

  Conrad glanced around the room. It was beautifully furnished in rich shades of plum and wine. The décor was all Damian’s doing. In truth, Conrad’s household was never so well run as when Damian was in charge of it. He shook his head. “Perhaps it would have been easier if I’d allowed Damian to stay with you but…” But then how would I ever have lured him back here? What other excuse could I have used? “At the time, it seemed better to have him accompany me here.”

  Julie nodded. “I know. He told me. You were both pretending to be a couple to keep anyone from suspecting that you’d been raising us.”

  Pretending to be a couple. Though spoken innocently, the words stung and everything in Conrad wanted to deny the truth of them. No. It’s not just pretend. He’s mine—mine by blood. How dare he force me to keep my distance all this time? I’ve every right to him. I’ve every reason to demand he yield himself to me, that he give me what I crave, what I need. That he give me everything…

  “Not that I understand why everything has to be such a secret,” Julie grumbled. “And the way you act…it’s as though there’s something wrong with us.”

  “My dear, of course there’s nothing wrong with you.” Conrad smiled at her sadly. “On the contrary, you and your brother are both very special, very special indeed. But enough of that. Tell me what’s prompted this move of yours tonight? I thought you were happy with Brennan. Has anything happened I should be made aware of?”

  “What do you mean?” Julie asked, a wary light springing into her eyes.

  “Was there a reason for your change of heart? Has he displeased you in some fashion, or done anything that would require a reprimand?”

  “No, of course not,” she answered quickly, the wariness becoming alarm. “Not at all. It’s nothing. We just… Well, we had a fight is all, and I just thought—”

  “He fought you?” Conrad’s blood surged. He sprang from his chair almost blind with rage. Someone had laid hands on his daughter in anger? “How dare he?” It didn’t matter the fool could never have been a match for her; he’d kill him just the same.