The Society #StalkerProblems

by Ivy Smoak

  Chastity blinked and tilted her head. "Just to be clear, you said he's the combination of Chris Hemsworth and Zac Efron, right? Because that dude looks like Seth Rogen after an unfortunate accident involving his hair and an industrial meat grinder."

  I shrugged. It was actually better if Chastity thought this was the guy I was obsessed with. That way she couldn’t win over my stalker for herself. "Potato, potahto."

  "Uh, no. I don't need WebMD to tell me that whatever they injected you with has ruined your vision."

  "Nope. Don't think so. That's definitely him. God, I'd love to run my hands through his thinning afro." Gag.

  On the way to spin class, I wondered if my wish had actually worked. For months, my stalker had been appearing like clockwork. And then I wished that he wouldn't appear, and he didn't. It seemed like too much of a coincidence to dismiss. Did they inject me with some sort of magic powers? The Society's logo was a genie lamp, after all. Maybe. That was still up in the air.

  I shook away the thought. There was no time to dwell on magic powers. The elevator was about to take us up to our spin class, so I had to mentally prepare myself to deal with the trauma of being surrounded by thirty women who were all taller and skinner than me. Strut your stuff, Ash. You’re confident AF and mastering the perfect revenge body.

  Chastity and I got onto the elevator and hit the button for floor 3. Just as the elevator doors closed, I thought I saw a glimpse of an electric blue suit flash by.

  "That was him!" I said, trying to wedge my hands between the doors before they shut completely. But it was too late. They slammed shut and the elevator lurched upwards.

  "What about that other guy?" asked Chastity.

  "No really, it was him this time." It definitely was. "I was just lying about that other guy."

  "You can't back-track now. I know that you secretly love ugly dudes. I mean, I should have known after you married Joe…”

  "That's a fair point. But in my defense, I thought I was going to die single and be eaten by my cats, so at the time Joe felt like a pretty good option. In hindsight, I can see that death by cats would have been preferable." And it would still probably be my fate.

  Chastity kept making fun of me for my love of uggos, but all I could think about was my stalker. Had it really been him? What was he doing here? My imagination started to run wild. I looked around at the trophy wives in the locker room. Was one of them his wife? Could be. A beautiful man like him deserved a beautiful woman.

  No! No, no, no! I hated that idea so much. I wanted him to be all mine. I needed him to be all mine. The thought of him stalking me was the one thing in life that kept me going. Otherwise I’d spiral into constantly thinking about setting Matthew Caldwell on fire. Reliving that incident every day would drive me crazy. And I wasn’t crazy.

  I took a deep breath. He was my stalker, so the most reasonable conclusion was that he had been here to stalk me.

  "Did you leave that there?" asked Chastity.

  "Huh?" I snapped back to reality. She was pointing at a little black envelope sitting at the bottom of my locker.

  "Uh, no. I haven't been here since before the party on Tuesday." How did that get in there? I looked both ways, but everyone around me looked innocent enough.

  "Then open it!"

  "Shh," I said. I didn't want her to draw any attention to us. Not because I didn't want people to know about the envelopes. I just didn’t want anyone to remember the scene Chastity had caused at my last spin class. I was hoping everyone could just forget about it and move on. If anyone mentioned it today, I for sure would never show my face here again.

  Before I could reach for the envelope, Chastity had already snatched it up and broken the gold wax seal. She pulled out the single piece of parchment contained within.

  We hope you enjoyed your first spa session. To check your results and accept our terms of service, please log in to the Society app.

  Username: Raven

  Password: 8JTY79

  "Results?" asked Chastity.

  "App?" I added. "Every one of these letters gets more confusing." And who the hell was Raven?

  The last girl to leave the locker room gave us a judgy look on her way out. Usually I would have been annoyed, but now I was just happy we were alone so we could freely discuss what the hell this letter was talking about.

  I pulled out my phone and searched the Google Play Store for the Society's app, but that was as useless as our earlier Google search. “There’s no app called that.”

  “Are you sure?” Chastity searched too, and her face looked more crestfallen by the minute. “Damn.”

  Oh well. I was done with the Society and their creepy letters. The only thing that concerned me was scheduling a doctor's appointment to figure out what those Moroccan assholes had injected into my arm. Or at least...that should have been the only thing that concerned me.

  Instead, I found myself wondering if my stalker had been the one to deliver that letter.

  Chapter 8 - Tax Codes

  Friday

  Usually having to wait an entire day for a doctor’s appointment would have been impossible, but the mystery of the Society, my stalker, and that damned app made the time pass in a flash. I searched everywhere for clues about any of it, but my searches were completely and utterly fruitless. Probably because the letters had been for some chick named Raven. It did kind of all make sense now. I was just getting them by mistake. And now I kind of wished I was this Raven person. Because her life was probably super glamorous. And her name was super cool. Raven. She sounded so badass.

  I’d dreamt of my stalker again last night. He’d appeared and saved me from my injection. And then he locked me up and kept me all to himself. It should have been a terrifying dream. But he made being tied up quite enjoyable.

  Not even reminiscing about my dream could help me out of this hell though. I was sitting in the doctor’s waiting room, holding my breath. There were so many kids everywhere. If I breathed, I was worried I’d catch something.

  "Ms. Cooper," called the nurse. "We'll see you now."

  Thank God. I kept holding my breath until I was safely in the exam room.

  The nurse took my vitals. I was 5'2 and 119 pounds, which felt horrifying. The trophy wives in my spin class were probably the same weight, but it was spread out over their 6-foot frames. I really needed to ask them about all the protein muscle weight. I was definitely doing something wrong. Then she took my pulse. And then she took it again.

  "Take a few deep breaths," she said as she pressed her fingers across my wrist.

  That's not how this works. My normal heart rate, if it was taken at home and not after I nearly contracted the plague from Timmy in the waiting room, was fine. Probably 65 or 70 beats per minute. But my heart rate at the doctor's office had always been off the charts. I guessed she was probably clocking me at over 150 beats per minute.

  She scribbled some notes on a clipboard and then took my blood pressure. Then she told me to sit tight and that the doctor would be with me shortly.

  I waited patiently for the first 10 minutes, but then I got worried that I was doing something wrong. Was I supposed to be putting on a gown? There was one hanging on the door.

  No, that would be weird. It was like the Moroccan spa all over again. Why did I always end up in situations where I wasn't sure if I was supposed to get naked or not?

  I started reading all the posters and signs to help pass the time. There was a chart of the gastrointestinal system on one wall and a biohazard warning on a waste bin in the corner. But what really caught my attention was the ad for GenieMD taped to one of the cabinets. It boasted the secure storage of personal health records, educational material, and even video visits. Video visits! That meant no more germ-filled waiting rooms. I was sold. I immediately pulled out my phone and downloaded the app.

  I tried memorizing all the parts of the gastrointestinal system while it finished downloading. Then I navigated to my apps page, and I was about to click on GenieM
D when I noticed something odd. Bitmoji had always been last on my list of apps, but now there were two new apps after it. One was GenieMD, but the other was something called Tax Codes. Tax Codes? What the hell is that? I clicked on it and my screen turned black with two text boxes in the center. One was labeled Username. The other was Password.

  Did Chastity put another password-protected porn folder on my phone? She had done that a few months ago to try to help me through the divorce, so it wouldn't be unheard of.

  Then it hit me. Of course! This was the Society's app. They must have taken my phone at the spa and loaded it on there. I remembered my username was Raven. Or well…Raven’s username was Raven. But I couldn't recall the password. I rummaged around in my purse until my hand closed on the folded-up letter.

  Was it wrong to log in to this app when I wasn’t the person it was meant for? They had already sent me all these invitations. So didn’t that kind of make them mine? And the mistake was on them, not me. Besides, I was too curious to care. When I entered my username and password, a loading screen with the Society's genie lamp logo popped up, and then it was replaced by the home screen:

  Welcome, Raven Black!

  Wishes Completed - 0

  Last Spa Visit - April 6

  Last STD Test - April 6, Clean

  STD Test? So that's what the needle mark was for! That was good news, but I wasn't out of the woods yet. They still could have injected me with stuff. Or used an unclean needle. In a few minutes the doctor would come give me the bad news, but for now, I wanted to explore the app and get some answers.

  Below the bit about the STD test, the words "Action Required - Sign Contract" were written in bold red letters. I was about to click it when the door to the exam room swung open.

  Dr. Wozniak hadn't been able to see me on such short notice, but she'd said that the pediatrician in her office had an opening. She hadn't, however, warned me that he was super hot.

  His muscular arms threatened to rip out of his lab coat, and his short blonde hair effortlessly stuck up and to the left in a stylish yet very heterosexual way. He looked more like a doctor from a porno than from an actual doctor's office. Not that I've watched a ton of doctor-themed porn or anything. Okay, fine. Maybe I watched a few clips from Chastity's folder. Don't judge me. Divorces are lonely. And then I wasn’t allowed to go on any dates because of the incident.

  He put his clipboard down and looked up at me with his beautiful baby-blue eyes.

  "Good afternoon, Ms. Cooper," he said. "I'm Dr. Lyons."

  "Hi," I said, but it came out all squeaky and weird.

  "So it says here that you were worried about STDs, blood poisoning, and overdosing on just about every illegal drug I've ever heard of. Is that a mistake, or...?"

  "Nope, that's correct," I said. "I'm concerned about all of those things." God, I didn’t want to have this conversation with him. I wanted my old lady doctor with the glasses. Not this handsome imposter that was making me sweat more by the second.

  "Oh. Well then." He narrowed his eyes. "Do you mind telling me how you think you contracted all that?"

  "I don't want to talk about it."

  "Do you need a rape kit? As a pediatrician that isn't really my specialty, but..."

  "No, I don't think so."

  "You don't think?" He nodded. His blue eyes were filled with concern. "I guess the bit about the drug overdoses makes more sense now. If you need help with drug addiction, I can refer you to a specialist."

  "I'm not a crackhead.” Oh God, I’d definitely said that in a super defensive way that made it seem like I was a crackhead.

  He nodded and jotted something down on my file.

  “Hey. What are you writing?” I craned my neck to see, but he turned to block my view. “Are you writing that I’m a crackhead? Because I said I’m not.”

  He gave me a sympathetic smile. He had definitely added “crackhead” to my file.

  “Can you just tell me about my blood work?"

  "Of course." He flipped the page. "It looks to me like you're fine. The preliminary drug test is clean, although we won't have the full results until next week. And you definitely don't have blood poisoning." He paused. "You may have diabetes, though."

  "They gave me diabetes?!"

  He looked at me like I was crazy. "Did you fast for 12 hours before your blood test this morning?"

  "Yes," I said. But it came out as more of a question.

  "Are you lying to me?"

  "Okay, fine. You caught me. I had two donuts right before the test. I get all barfy if I don't have carbs in the morning. And I really don’t like getting my blood taken so I was nervous. And I like to eat when I’m nervous."

  Dr. Lyons smiled, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Okay, no diabetes then." He flipped the page again. "Hmmm, the STD report is missing. Excuse me for a moment."

  I let out a sigh that I'd been holding ever since I left the Shifting Sands Spa. They hadn’t pumped me full of meth. They hadn't poisoned me. And if the app was to be trusted, I was STD-free.

  I pulled out my phone and texted Chastity: "Got the blood work back. No drugs, no STDs." Then I went back to the Society's app and clicked on CONTRACT. Maybe that would finally give me a clue about what this crazy society was all about.

  Chapter 9 - Yes, Doctor

  Friday

  The Society contract popped up on my screen. I figured I had a while until Dr. Lyons returned, so I started reading:

  TERMS AND CONDITIONS

  MISSION STATEMENT

  The Society provides a safe space for the fulfillment of our members' wildest fantasies.

  To ensure a positive experience, all members must agree to the terms and conditions included herewithin.

  NON-DISCLOSURE

  1) The Member will never speak of the Society to anyone.

  MEMBERSHIP

  2) The Member begins as an initiate (bronze).

  2.1) Novus (silver) membership is obtained automatically upon the completion of the Member’s three wishes.

  3) The Member must be single and under 40 years of age.

  3.1) The Society may grant exceptions to this rule on a case-by-case basis.

  4) The Society reserves the right to refuse membership as they see fit.

  5) The Member will pay a $1,000,000 security deposit.

  6) The Member may end her affiliation with the Society at any time via the app. At that time, her security deposit will be refunded in full so long as:

  6a) The Member has graduated to at least novus (silver) membership.

  6b) The Member is not being terminated as set forth in Clause 49.

  7) Once the Member reaches the level of novus, she will be eligible to nominate new members for consideration by the Society.

  8) The Member must never speak to a nominee about the Society or ask if the nominee was accepted.

  WISHES

  9) Wishes refer to all Society-sanctioned events.

  10) The Member will begin with three wishes.

  10.1) More wishes can be earned as set forth in Clause 39.

  11) The Society will fulfill all wishes to the best of its ability. However, the satisfaction that the Member garners will be dependent upon the clarity with which the wish is worded and the performance of other members.

  11.1) For specific instructions on wish formation, see Appendix A - Wish Formation.

  AVAILABILITY

  12) The Member will be assumed to be available on the following days:

  12a) Tuesdays, 8:30 pm to midnight

  12b) Thursdays, 8:30 pm to midnight

  13) If the Member will not be available on days listed in clause 12, she will note it on her calendar via the app.

  14) Wish invitations will be delivered via discreet black envelopes. Once an envelope is received, the Member will accept or decline the invitation via the app. Please note that participation in some wishes is mandatory. For those, there will be no option to decline.

  WARDROBE

  15) The Member
will arrive in appropriate clothing for all wishes.

  16) The Member will maintain a wardrobe of the following categories:

  16a) Casual

  16b) Activewear

  16c) Lingerie

  16d) Business

  16e) Formal

  17) If costumes or props are required, the Society will provide them to the Member.

  EXPECTED BEHAVIORS

  18) The Member will be ready and willing to engage in:

  18a) Role-playing

  18b) Kissing

  18c) Fellatio

  18d) Receiving cunnilingus

  18e) Voyeurism

  18f) Unprotected sex

  18g) Public Sex - only in front of other members

  18h) Group sex

  What the actual hell? Voyeurism? Unprotected sex? Public sex? What kind of crazy sex club had I accidentally been signed up for? My heart was pounding. This was all a joke. Right?

  I backed out of the app and sent Chastity another text: "I found the Society's app. The contract is rather enlightening."

  Chastity immediately called me.

  "Tell me everything!" she said.

  "Okay, okay." I brought her up to speed on how I suspected that someone at the Shifting Sands Spa had installed the app on my phone and how my tests had come back clean. I read her the mission statement and then skipped to the expected behaviors.

  "Please find a way to let me join," said Chastity.

  "Well, according to clause 7, I can nominate you as a member as soon as I've obtained novus membership."

  "And how do you do that?"

  "By getting raped three times. Sorry, I meant to say completing three wishes."

  Chastity sighed. "Now you're just being dramatic. Getting raped wasn't listed as an expected behavior."

  "True, but I’ve only read half the contract."