The Society #StalkerProblems

by Ivy Smoak

  “Well, I still feel shitty about it. So we got you a gift.”

  “Really?” That wasn’t necessary at all. But I was dying to know what it was.

  “Yup.”

  I looked down to see if they had a gift for me. But their hands were empty. So I was basically just staring at their junk. Stop looking at their sweatpants! I snapped my eyes back to their faces. Diablo raised one eyebrow slightly as if to say, “Like what you see?”

  “You used to run Dickson & Son’s Sugarcakes, right?” asked Angel.

  “Yes…”

  “And then your scumbag ex-husband stole it from you in your divorce?”

  “How did you know that?”

  Diablo cracked his knuckles. “We have our ways.”

  “Do you have your phone on you?” asked Angel.

  “No.” In fact, I had no idea where it was. They must have taken my purse when they stuffed me in the van.

  Angel typed something on his phone and then handed it to me. It was open to the Google listing for Dickson & Son’s Sugarcakes.

  “What am I looking at here?” I’d looked at this page a bajillion times trying to get Google to fix various aspects. At one point they’d said we were only open every Tuesday from 2 a.m. to 2:45 a.m. And then after we went on a podcast to promote the brand, they’d decided to label Dickson & Son’s Sugarcakes as a musical group.

  “Check out the reviews,” said Angel. “Their rating plummeted overnight.”

  “Oops,” added Diablo.

  I scrolled back to the top. “One star average on 34,000 reviews?! Jesus. How did you get so many?” I’d had to beg people to leave reviews, and that had only just gotten us past the 100 review mark. I clicked the link and started reading the one-star reviews:

  “The cupcakes are okay, but the owner gives off some serious pedophile vibes.”

  “Eating these cupcakes made my dick shrink.”

  And my personal favorite…

  “Dickson & Son’s Sugarcakes taste like they’re made by someone with a small dick.”

  They went on and on like that. Pages and pages of insults about Joe and his tiny dick. I was nearly crying from laughing so hard. “You guys,” I said through my laughter. “This is amazing.”

  “It was our pleasure,” said Angel. “It was actually pretty fun reading tons of bad reviews for other restaurants to get ideas.”

  “I just wanted to firebomb the place,” Diablo said. “But Angel talked me out of it.”

  I laughed. Because I was pretty sure he was joking. Maybe? “Seriously, that’s like the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me. How can I ever thank you guys?”

  “You can take that dress off and let us fuck you on the buffet table,” said Diablo.

  “Excuse me?” Did he seriously just say that?! My heart started hammering against my ribcage. Because…I kind of wanted them to do it. I pressed my thighs together and hoped they didn’t notice. What was happening to me? Oh right…I’m a sex-starved sexual deviant! God, Tanner needed to ask me out and soon before I gave in to my depraved urges.

  Diablo just stared at me. “It’s gonna happen sooner or later. No need to delay the inevitable.”

  “Oh really?”

  “Yes.” He sounded 100% confident in his answer.

  Angel cleared this throat. “What Diablo meant to say was that he thinks you’re very beautiful and we’d love to take you out to dinner this weekend. While researching bad reviews we actually came across a few hidden gems that we’ve never tried before.”

  I looked back and forth between them. What is this? Some sort of good cop bad cop routine they use to get girls? Diablo would say all sorts of filthy stuff, and then Angel would correct him. A devil and an angel. Weird. But also kind of effective. Because I was actually considering going out to dinner with them. I still needed to make Tanner jealous, and… My eyes drifted down to their sweatpants. Seriously, Ash, stop staring at their penises!

  “So what do you say?” asked Angel.

  “Based on where she’s looking, I’d say it’s a yes.” Diablo gave a very suggestive thrust.

  I snapped my eyes back up. It didn’t matter if I wanted to say yes. I couldn’t - we had the Wineflix & Chill launch party on Saturday. “I’m actually busy this weekend.”

  “With Ryder?” asked Diablo.

  I nodded.

  Diablo laughed. “Well, enjoy that while it lasts. Did he invite you back to his place at One57 yet?”

  “No. Why?”

  “Because after he does, you’re never gonna hear from him again. One and done. That’s how Ryder operates.”

  What the fuck? I suddenly wished I hadn’t eaten so much cheese. I felt sick. I’d been dying to know if Tanner was all about one-night stands. And these two had just confirmed my worst fears.

  “Here’s an idea. How about we have you and Ryder over for dinner. And for dessert you can have two thick cocks while Ryder films it for this year’s gif contest. I refuse to lose two years in a row.”

  Oh my God. Every word out of this man’s mouth made me blush. “Ryder would never agree to that,” I said.

  “You must not know Ryder very well.”

  “What do you mean by that?” God, I’d already learned too much. But I somehow needed to know even more.

  “You’ll see.” Diablo smiled and grabbed the entire plate of cheese off the table. “See ya around, Raven.” He turned and walked out of the green room.

  “What did he mean by that?” I asked Angel.

  “I don’t want to throw Ryder under the bus, but there’s a reason why he won Best Recruiter for the third year in a row. He’s good with women.”

  He didn’t need to say anymore. I got the hint. I was just his latest recruit. He’d have his way with me and then move on to the next. And Diablo had taken all the cheese so I couldn’t stress eat. Damn it!

  Angel gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Maybe he’ll be different with you. And if he’s not…” He scribbled his number on the back of a napkin and left it on the table for me as he followed Diablo out of the green room.

  Well fuck.

  But wait! Maybe this was actually good news. It was exactly like Chastity had said - Tanner was a manwhore who had put me squarely in the wifey-zone. Which was why I had to make him jealous.

  I stared at the napkin with Angel’s number. Then I folded it up and tucked it into my bra.

  I wasn’t necessarily going to call them. But if I had to choose someone to make Tanner jealous with…why not go big?

  I giggled at my pun.

  “Raven! There you are!” said a frantic voice.

  I looked over. Ocelot had just burst into the green room.

  “Time to hand out the award for Best Member?” I asked.

  “Almost. But first you have to choose the winner.”

  “It sounded like you said I have to choose the winner.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Aren’t I like…the least qualified person in the world to do that? I mean, this is literally my first night at Club Onyx. I know nothing about 99% of the members.”

  Ocelot shook his head. “Not at all. You’ll be perfect.”

  Chapter 56 - Best Member

  Wednesday

  I hurried to keep up with Ocelot as he speed-walked out of the green room.

  “After tallying thousands of votes,” said Ocelot as we walked, “our five nominees for Best Member all ended up being within 10 votes of each other. So I had an idea… Why not let one lucky lady break the tie? That one simple question was really the start of my entire plan for the evening.”

  “Okay…”

  Ocelot pushed a curtain aside and led me out onto the stage next to the one remaining award. The wall was still there, so this area was currently blocked off from the audience. When it was time for the award show to start again, the wall would move and everyone would be able to see me.

  “Am I going to be choosing live on stage?” I asked. “That’s a lot of pressure.”

  “Not q
uite.” Ocelot whistled and four men joined us behind the wall. Or at least…I assumed they were men based on their height. I couldn’t really tell for sure, because all five of them were wearing elephant masks made of tons of little triangular mirrors - just like the one Liz had described seeing at school - and floor-length black robes. They all stood in a line.

  Umm…

  Ocelot stared at them. He did not look happy. He pulled a walkie-talkie out of his pocket and hit the call button. “Frankie - why am I only looking at four men here?”

  Static, and then she replied: “No one can find Karl.”

  Karl’s missing, eh? I didn’t know where he was. But I had a sneaking suspicion about who he was with. It wasn’t hard to put two and two together. Chastity had literally been drooling over his gif. And then she’d led him off stage and neither one had been seen since.

  Yeah, they were definitely banging.

  “The show must go on,” muttered Ocelot to himself. Then he regained his composure and turned to me. “Raven. It is my distinct pleasure to present to you this year’s nominees for Best Member.” He nodded at the four men as they let their robes drop to the floor.

  I gasped. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but… “Dude! They’re naked!” I put my hand up to block out their junk. These guys were lucky that the audience couldn’t see them right now because that would have been embarrassing for them.

  Ocelot smiled. “Of course they are. How else would you choose the Best Member?”

  “Uhh…maybe by seeing their faces? Or chatting with them for a few minutes? Or just hearing a simple list of names and accomplishments?”

  “That all seems rather unnecessary.”

  “Does it? Because unless I’m supposed to be judging who has the nicest cock, then this line-up is pretty useless.”

  Ocelot stared at me.

  Oh. Oh! Duh. Best…Member. This award wasn’t for who had contributed the most to Club Onyx. It was an award for the best member. As in…penis. That made sense, given that two of the other awards had been Best Breasts and Best Ass.

  I took a deep breath and dropped my hand.

  Holy shit.

  I recognized two of the men immediately. The tan skin, excessive tattoos, and huge cocks were unmistakable. Angel and Diablo.

  I didn’t recognize the other two, but they were similarly well endowed.

  I knew that these were probably some of the biggest cocks at Club Onyx, but still… I couldn’t believe how small Joe was in comparison. What would it be like to ride one of these monsters?

  I pressed my thighs together and tried to focus. Angel and Diablo had left me feeling a certain kind of way and now I’d completely lost my mind.

  “Impressive, huh?” asked Ocelot. He sounded so proud of himself. “Although something feels missing… Gentlemen, if you would be so kind, please picture Raven on her knees. Imagine her soft lips wrapping around your thick cock as she strokes her wet pussy.”

  All four men started to get hard. At the thought of me blowing them. Oh my God.

  But seriously, OH MY GOD. If they were big earlier, now they were huge.

  “Ah, much better,” said Ocelot. “Now, Raven…if you would be so kind, please announce your choice for Best Member. We don’t want to leave our audience waiting any longer.”

  I looked back and forth between all the men just to be sure of my decision. Or maybe I just wanted to stare at them a bit more. Can you really blame me? Not only were they hung, but they also all had ridiculous muscles. I counted their abs. Yup. All of them had eight-packs. Eight-packs! How was that even possible?

  I don’t care how much fun Chastity was having with Karl - she was going to lose her shit when I told her about this.

  But enough staring - I had to make a decision.

  Easy choice. I pointed to the one I thought was Angel. “Him.” Despite his brother being a scoundrel, Angel was a total sweetheart. And that kind of behavior should be rewarded.

  “Are you sure?” asked Ocelot.

  I nodded, but then I noticed a pitchfork tattooed on the chest of the guy I’d chosen. Shit! “Wait! No. I pick him.” I pointed to the other tan guy with tattoos.

  Ocelot looked at me. “Final answer?”

  Yes? Maybe? I don’t know! I should have paid more attention to their tattoos. “Can I just choose both?”

  “Oh you naughty girl!” Ocelot shoved my arm playfully. “I like the way you think. This is going to make quite the spectacle.” He dismissed the two I hadn’t chosen. They both covered their junk and walked away very dejectedly. Then he beckoned Angel and Diablo over.

  “Congratulations, gentlemen. You both just won Best Member.” He glanced down at their erections. “Well deserved, I must say.”

  Weird. This Ocelot guy was so confusing. One minute he was talking about his girlfriend, and the next minute he was complimenting two dudes’ dicks.

  Ocelot turned to me. “Are you ready for the real surprise?” He sounded so excited.

  “Maybe?”

  “Okay. Here’s what’s gonna happen.” He rubbed his hands together. “Tonight is no ordinary night. Tonight is my secret sex party.” He said it as if it was this huge reveal, but I had no idea what the hell he was talking about.

  Angel and Diablo gave each other a fist pump.

  Ocelot looked at me expectantly. Then he shook his head. “Oh, right. This is your first night. Okay. So… Usually here at Club Onyx we have pretty strict rules to make sure everyone is comfortable. Some clothing required. No sex unless you’re in a designated area. That sort of thing. But every now and then, we throw all those rules out the window. And to kick things off, I always surprise everyone with a public display of debauchery.”

  I had a general sense of where this was headed. And I didn’t like it one bit. Well…maybe one bit. But not a lot of bits.

  “So here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m going to reopen the show with a montage of the five nominees for Best Members. Then I’ll read out the winners, but the spotlight won’t be able to find you. That’s when this wall will slide back to reveal you double-teaming Raven on the trophy table.”

  “What?!” I yelled.

  “You heard me right, you lucky little girl. You get both of these lovely cocks just like you requested. Kristen is going to be so jealous that she missed out.”

  “I didn’t request this!”

  “Masks on or off?” asked one of the guys. It sounded more like Diablo.

  “Hmmm…which would be more dramatic?” asked Ocelot.

  “What if we keep our masks on the whole time we’re fucking her, and then after we cum on her face, we rip off our masks and all yell, ‘Welcome to the secret sex party!’ ”

  Yup, that was definitely Diablo talking.

  “Oh my God,” said Ocelot. “I just got chills.” He pushed his sleeve up to show off the goosebumps on his arm. “Pure perfection. This will definitely go down in history as the best Onyxies ever.”

  What the actual fuck is happening right now? In theory, getting fucked by Angel and Diablo would be spectacularly hot. But the thought of it actually happening was terrifying. Especially in front of thousands of people! Or hundreds. Or however many horned-up people were in the audience.

  Although it would definitely make Tanner jealous…

  Nope. No way. Not in a million years. I wasn’t going to have sex with two strangers in front of an audience just to make Tanner jealous. I just wanted Tanner. How do I get out of this?! Think!

  “Oh shoot,” I said, pretending to check an imaginary watch on my wrist. “I just saw the time. I have to get going or I’m gonna be late for my thing.”

  “What thing?” asked Ocelot. “Ah, say no more. Stage fright? I totally get it. And I have the perfect antidote.” He walked around me and unzipped my dress.

  What is he doing?! I put my hand up at the last second to stop the top of my dress from falling down.

  “I was going to have you wait until the montage started, but nothing kills stage fright bette
r than taking a big cock. Just promise me you’ll take it easy on them so that they don’t cum before the big reveal.” Ocelot gave me a saucy little wink.

  Angel and Diablo both stroked themselves as they walked to either side of me.

  Oh God, oh God, oh God.

  Was this seriously happening?

  “Raven?!” yelled Tanner. He’d just burst through the curtains.

  Tanner! I was saved!

  “Ah, Ryder,” said Ocelot. “I’ll be with you in just a second. First we have to get Raven situated here. Don’t tell anyone, but tonight is my secret sex party. And she’s going to be the opening act.”

  Tanner looked at Ocelot. Then me. Then the two erections. “Not happening. Let’s go, Raven.” He waved me towards him.

  I almost ran into his arms. But I didn’t. Not yet, at least. Because this was the perfect opportunity to make him jealous as hell.

  “No thanks,” I said.

  “What?”

  Shit! What do I say now? I tried to channel my inner-Chastity. “Don’t get me wrong. I’d love to come hang out with you. But that would be violating Single Girl Rule #8.”

  He looked so pissed. “Which is what exactly?”

  This one was Chastity’s favorite. I’d heard her quote it more times than I could count. “Rule #8: If a man has 8 abs and 8 inches, he may not be refused. And well…” I stared at Tanner as I reached out to either side of me and ran my hands down Angel and Diablo’s abs. I meant to stop there, but I accidentally went too low and touched their cocks. And at that point it just felt right to give them each a stroke. At the end I booped each one on the tip and said, “Boop!”

  Oh my God what is wrong with me?! I just took that way too far! I’d only meant to molest their abs. Not give them handjobs and dirty boops!

  Tanner narrowed his eyes at me. His irises almost looked…stormy. God, I loved when he looked all mad like that. It was so hot.

  Mission accomplished.

  And then a horrible realization came over me. What if I had miscalculated everything? Tanner was part of this crazy sex club. And Diablo had said that I didn’t know Tanner very well if I thought he wouldn’t be down for a swingers’ dinner. If that was true, then Tanner would happily sit back and watch me get fucked. Hell, he’d probably be thrilled that one of his recruits was the opening act for this weird secret sex party thing that Ocelot kept talking about.