The Society #StalkerProblems

by Ivy Smoak

  “He clearly has a crush on Matt,” Chastity said.

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “I was talking about the outhouse thing. But yeah, his reaction to Matt was a little strong too.” I tried to wriggle out of my restraints. “Please tell me you found something out when you were with Karl.”

  “No, I was going to learn all Tanner’s dirty little secrets after Karl was happily banged. That’s how that works. But Tanner rudely interrupted us. Like he knew what I was planning all along.”

  “But you were with him for like…half an hour. How did you not find out anything?”

  “I was building a rapport. But I did ask him the most important question of all. Single Girl Rule #22: Always make sure he’s 18.”

  Damn it! I didn’t care if Karl was 18 or not. Well…actually I did. I didn’t want Chastity to go to jail. But the Tanner questions were equally important!

  Nigel walked back into the room. He looked more composed now. “I’m sorry about earlier. I wasn’t ready to converse because I wasn’t sure it was allowed. But I just received more thorough instructions via my cellular device. Let’s start over more formally. Master Tanner had to leave on important business, but he wanted me to watch you both so you didn’t do anything else naughty this evening. So…timeout. No more talking.”

  He crossed his arms in front of his suspenders and leaned against the wall. I was pretty sure it was supposed to be intimidating. But…it certainly was not. He looked ridiculous.

  “Nigel, I’m not going to do anything else crazy,” I said.

  “Shh.”

  “I swear. Please just untie us.”

  “No can do. I’m following orders.”

  “Come on, Nigel. At least come sit down and make yourself comfortable.” Despite what he said, his outfit looked wildly uncomfortable. Maybe it was just comfortable in comparison to his butler uniform. Either way, he should at least take a seat.

  He slowly approached us. “You’re a very kind mistress.”

  “Mistress? Is that what Tanner calls me?”

  “Um…no. He calls you…babe? Sidepiece?”

  What?!

  He shook his head. “Baby Momma? No…girl.” He sighed. “I don’t know the words you people use. But I know that Master Tanner is very fond of you. And I can’t let anything happen to you.”

  “Aww, that’s so sweet,” said Chastity.

  He put his finger to her lips. “Hush, child. I don’t know who you are.”

  She licked his finger.

  He yelped.

  Stop it, Chastity. Couldn’t she see that her flirtations weren’t working with this guy? “I have one more question. And then I swear we’ll both be quiet.”

  “Splendid,” Nigel said. “What is it?”

  “What’s Tanner’s secret?” Honestly he probably had too many secrets to count. But I was hoping Nigel would just spill the biggest. The vampire one. Because I’d had a lot of time to think this over on the ride back here with a bag on my head. Angel had implied that Tanner was a one-night stand kind of guy. And I was thinking that Tanner definitely had tons of one-night stands because that was all that was possible…since he killed all the women he slept with right after he came. It was genius really. Everyone loved a good snack after sex. I preferred ice cream, but Tanner clearly preferred blood. Sometimes I wanted something salty like cheese. But never blood. Not even once. Vampire!

  “Secretses?” Nigel shook his head. “No, we have none of those. We’re very normal boys.”

  The fact that he’d just said that wasn’t normal.

  “How about I draw the two of you a bath to help you calm down?”

  Chastity laughed. “You want me and Ash to hook up in front of you, you little perv?”

  “No. Baths are for relaxation purposes only. They’re not sexual. They’re soothing. Let me draw you one so you can see. And I’ll stay with you the whole time to make sure the temperature of the water stays consistent.”

  That sounded very sexual to me. He wanted me and Chastity to bathe together? And he wanted to watch the whole time? “That’s okay, Nigel,” I said. “We don’t need to bathe.”

  He shrugged. “Millennials.”

  Really, a millennial dig? He looked the same age as us. What was his deal?

  “How about some green juice then?” he asked. “I make a juice that will fix all your ailments. It should calm you both down. Maybe even put you to sleep.”

  I was actually quite calm despite being tied up. A little less so now that it seemed like he wanted to drug us.

  “We don’t have any ailments,” Chastity said. “Just questions.”

  Nigel pretended to zip up his lips and then swallow the key. Which made no sense. None of what he did made any freaking sense.

  But that was a good thing. Nigel was all over the place. And maybe if I started asking questions about something besides Tanner I could slowly trick him into giving us more information. “Do you know Ocelot?”

  Nigel just stared at me.

  “He was at Club Onyx tonight. Big hair. Kind of a diva vibe. Anyway, it seemed like he had a crush on Tanner. He even said he was in love with him.”

  “He did?” asked Chastity.

  I nodded and turned back to Nigel. “Is Ocelot in love with Tanner?”

  Nigel rolled his little eyes. “Nonsensical. Ocelot is an odd little boy. He does not know the difference between love and in love with. Like…I love baths. I’m not in love with baths. Ocelot doesn’t understand the distinction. Although he does look like he appreciates a good bath.”

  Okay. “So he isn’t in love with Tanner?”

  “No. Ocelot is straight.”

  “What? How is that possible? And why does everyone keep telling me that?”

  Nigel ignored me.

  Ocelot was the least of my concerns. “So Tanner isn’t dating Ocelot. Does Tanner have a bunch of women over to his apartment?”

  No response.

  “Do you ever see the same woman twice?” This response would surely confirm whether my vampire suspicions were accurate. Would Nigel even tell me though? Because if Tanner was a vampire…Nigel might be too. He did carry us both up all those stairs to my apartment. If that wasn’t super vampire strength, I didn’t know what was.

  “You wouldn’t understand,” said Nigel.

  Answer my question, damn it! “Please.” I was desperate for information. And I could tell by Nigel’s guilty face that he had all the juicy gossip. Hmm. Was he a little gossipy? That could help. “Give me the deets you little slut.” Wow, that came out harsher than it sounded in my head.

  Nigel stared at me.

  “That juicy goss.”

  Nigel frowned. “What is that?”

  “Like…gossip. All the hot goss. A girl’s chat.”

  “Oh.” He looked sad. “I can’t. I want to. But I can’t. I love the juicy goss. But you’re both supposed to be in timeout! Now you can both shut your whore mouths. And don’t you ever say Matthew’s name again.” Nigel put the bags back over our heads.

  A few seconds later it sounded like the bath turned on. And I was terrified that he was either bathing in my tub or he was about to bathe me. Holy hell, who is this strange man?

  Chapter 58 - They’re Back Again!

  Thursday

  I’d barely slept at all, thanks to the itchy canvas bag over my head. I was completely exhausted. But when I woke up on the couch, the bag was gone and my hands weren’t tied anymore. I looked over at Chastity. She was still hogtied and bagged.

  Damn, Nigel really hates her.

  The smell of bacon and eggs filled my nose. My eyes snapped to the kitchen, but Nigel was nowhere in sight. There was just some delicious looking food on the stove and a note sitting on the counter. I got up and read it.

  Mistress Ash,

  My apologies for having to bag you again. But in my defense…you were very naughty. And you were in timeout.

  If there is anything you ever need from me, please don’t hesitate to ask. My number i
s below. I am at your service, Mistress.

  Have a good and prosperous day at work. And remember, you have a cake tasting with Master Tanner this evening. He does not appreciate tardiness.

  Yours,

  -Nigel

  XOXO

  P.S. I made you breakfast. Only you. Not the stranger on your couch.

  I looked over at Chastity and then back at the delicious looking food. Nigel said the breakfast was only for me. And I didn’t want to get on his bad side like Chastity was. I’d unbag her right after breakfast.

  ***

  Tonight was the night. Tanner was finally going to ask me to be his girlfriend.

  Or at least…that was what Chastity thought. She kept saying it all day at work. And after work in my closet while she helped me get ready.

  I wasn’t as convinced. But maybe I was still just disoriented from having a canvas bag on my head all of last night. That weird little Nigel man was literally the worst. I tried to focus on Chastity. Just thinking about Nigel was getting me all hot and bothered. In a rage way. Not in a sexual way. I got zero sexual vibes from Nigel at all. And I still had no idea what he’d done in my bathtub. I had a feeling I needed to stop by the store and buy some bleach. I was 99 percent sure he’d bathed in my tub. No, 100 percent sure. Damn it, Nigel! Who does that in a stranger's tub?

  At least he was an amazing cook. Those scrambled eggs this morning almost made up for all the weirdness. Almost. My poor tub!

  I shook away the thought as Chastity zipped up my little red cocktail dress. “How can you be so sure Tanner’s going to ask me out?” I asked.

  “I just know these things. And with you wearing that?” She whistled. “He’s done.”

  I looked in the mirror and spun around with a huge grin on my face. I wasn’t sure I’d ever looked this good before. I felt like freaking Cinderella. But in a slutty little dress rather than a ballgown. It’s finally going to happen. Tanner’s going to ask me out!

  “Just make sure you don’t let up until the moment he asks you out. You’re so close to getting un-wifey-zoned. But one misstep and you’ll be right back where you started.”

  “What constitutes not letting up?”

  “Just little things. Text me a few times to make sure you aren’t giving Tanner too much attention. Make a comment about one of the waiters being hot. Or better yet, flirt with a waiter! And no matter what, do not, under any circumstances, recant your actions at Club Onyx last night. As far as Tanner is concerned, you whole-heartedly believe in Rule #8 and would have gladly let Angel and Diablo go to town on you.”

  Hopefully that won’t come up. “Are you sure he doesn’t just hate me?” He’d been out inspecting the yacht so I hadn’t seen him all day. And Chastity had forbidden me from texting him so that I wouldn’t seem desperate. But I was desperate. I liked him so much my chest actually hurt. Oh, God, am I having a heart attack?!

  Chastity grabbed my shoulders and turned me toward her. “There’s no way he hates you. I could feel the jealousy radiating off of him last night when he dragged us out of Club Onyx. And then he had Nigel babysit us to make sure we didn’t go back. That was when I knew for sure he was about to make things official. If he hated you, he wouldn’t have done all that. Now put these Odegaards on and go get your man.” She handed me a pair of strappy red heels with the signature blue bottoms.

  “I think I’m having a heart attack.”

  She shook her head. “Cut it out and put on the shoes. You’re fine.”

  She never believed me. One day, when I actually was super sick, she’d be sorry. Especially if my greatest fear actually happened and I punctured my liver real good. I’d talked about that so much that she’d never believe me if it actually happened. Which just made the fear of it happening that much worse. I took a deep breath and tried to shake away the thought. You will not puncture your liver tonight!

  I put the heels on and did a final outfit check in the mirror. Hopefully sexy is the right vibe this evening…

  Chastity put a few finishing touches on my makeup and then I went downstairs to catch the ride Tanner had sent for me.

  Nigel was in a full chauffeur outfit leaning against a limo. When he saw me, he scurried over.

  Oh God, please no! Why Nigel again? I wanted to run the other way.

  “Good evening, Mistress,” said Nigel with a little bow. “Did you enjoy the breakfast I prepared for you?”

  I pictured the bacon, sausage, and scrambled eggs from this morning. It was some of the most delicious food I’d ever eaten. But I’d had to scarf it down so that Chastity didn’t know she’d been left out. Sure…I could have saved some for her. But even though I was slightly annoyed with Nigel, I still wanted him to like me. Because I wanted everyone to like me. Being unliked sucked. That was why people hating me was #7 on my list of greatest fears. Worse than my fear of going to jail. I cleared my throat. “It was lovely.”

  “Excellent!” He opened the limo door for me.

  What were the odds of me being bagged again if I climbed inside? But Nigel wasn’t staring at me like he was about to attack. He just looked very, very friendly. Overly friendly? He was probably going to murder me or something. Or suck my blood…

  I awkwardly peered inside without getting too close to Nigel. Tanner unfortunately wasn’t inside, but there was at least a glass of champagne waiting for me. And champagne was just what I needed to calm my nerves. I climbed inside. Tanner sending a limo felt like a good sign for tonight. Maybe he really will ask me out! My stomach did a little flip. Tanner Rhodes was going to be my boyfriend! How was this real life? I started playing out different scenarios in my head as Nigel crawled into the front and hit the gas.

  Would the cake tasting actually be a romantic dinner for two? I could totally see him doing a big romantic gesture and renting out the entire restaurant so that it’s just the two of us.

  Or maybe he’ll put a ring in one of the cake samples…

  Okay not that. Who would be crazy enough to propose without even being exclusive first? But Tanner was kinda crazy, just like me. And I’d totally say yes. I mean…it was Tanner Rhodes. My stalker. And I’d been in love with him since the first moment I saw him step out of One57. For the first time I didn’t chastise myself for thinking it was love. And I didn’t even care how stalkery that was. Because it was true. Tanner was everything I’d ever wanted, wrapped up in a fancy suit.

  And he was about to be either my boyfriend or freaking fiancé. I was sure of it. And I had no idea how I’d gotten so lucky.

  Or maybe I did. I thought about my list of new things to try.

  Try new smoothie flavors.

  Go for a run.

  Get blackout drunk.

  I smiled to myself. It was a dumb list. And it only had three items, one of which I’d definitely not accomplished. Well, technically I had gone on a run…if running away from fake FBI agents counted. But it wasn’t about the individual items. It was about the spirit of the list. Because I sure as hell had tried a lot of new things over the past month.

  I’d joined a sex club.

  I’d blown a guy in the middle of a museum.

  I’d auctioned off my body to the highest bidder.

  I’d presented foot-long dick trophies in front of hundreds of people.

  And most importantly, I’d fallen in love.

  All because I’d decided to stop being afraid and start trying new things. Okay, fine. I’d been terrified the entire time. But it had so been worth it. As long as Tanner didn’t break my heart.

  Was Diablo telling the truth about all those women? I was terrified that he was. Because this wasn’t just run-of-the-mill ordinary love. This was the real kind of love. Not whatever Joe and I had. Because that didn’t compare at all. And that meant this could hurt so much worse than when Joe cheated on me. This would…this would destroy me.

  “Nigel?” I asked.

  He adjusted the mirror to look at me. “Yes, Mistress?”

  I had to be careful with my wordin
g. Last time I’d asked him about Tanner’s other women, he’d totally shut me down. “It seems like you and Tanner are pretty close, huh?”

  “He is an excellent master.”

  “Do you guys ever just hang out?”

  “I occasionally indulge in leisure time, yes.”

  “With other people?”

  Nigel got a big grin on his face. “Sometimes Master Matthew joins us.”

  So. Freaking. Weird. “Anyone else?”

  His grin vanished as quickly as it had come. “Yes.”

  “A girl?”

  “Pardon me, Mistress, but I must focus on my driving.” He started to raise the partition.

  “Wait!”

  The partition paused.

  “I’m sorry. I know you don’t like when I ask about that. I just need to know…” I took a deep breath. “Is Tanner going to break my heart?”

  “Master Tanner will stop at nothing to make your heart whole.” He gave me a small smile and then closed the partition completely.

  What does that mean? And what was that smile all about? It almost looked like he pitied me. Or was happy for me? I had no freaking clue. His expressions were crazy.

  I leaned my head against the window and watched the buildings zip by.

  Maybe I was overthinking it. Nigel had a weird way of speaking. I shouldn’t read into it. I should just take it at face value. He’d basically told me that Tanner was in love with me!

  My heart skipped a beat. God, my emotions were all over the place tonight. Ridiculously excited. Nervous. Terrified. Exhausted.

  In just a few minutes, my life could change forever.

  I did some breathing exercises to try to calm myself.

  It took nearly 45 minutes, but eventually the limo came to a stop. I looked out the window and couldn’t believe my eyes.

  Santiago’s! We were having a cake tasting at freaking Santiago’s! First Spaceboy, and now this? Tanner was incredible.

  Nigel opened the door for me. Tanner was waiting by the entrance, looking amazing as ever in an impeccably tailored suit. Usually he would have been wearing a colorful tuxedo at this time on a Thursday, but tonight he was just Tanner.