The Untimely Death Box Set

by James Kipling

  Chloe turned round to her female servant.

  “Allez à la cuisine et donnez lui du vin pas cher.”

  I tried to translate that in my head, and came up with ‘go to the kitchen and get them some wine.’ Or something like that. I recognized some of the words because Chloe had said them before when we first entered the hotel.

  The female servant reappeared with some wine as requested.

  “What on Earth is this?” said Veronica.

  “It’s something you’d like,” said Chloe, trying not to be too smug.

  “This is probably the cheapest wine on the market!” she yelled.

  “Well, ‘Death in the Afternoon’ is one of the most expensive cocktails on the market, so I thought you’d like the opposite.”

  Even though she was vile, I still would not treat Veronica like that if she were my guest. Veronica just turned around and walked over to the piano, muttering, “When I get home, I’m going on TripAdvisor to write a bad review of this place!”

  Then something startled even me. Christopher sat down at the grand piano, with Veronica standing next to him. He pressed a few keys, and Veronica started to sing.

  “You’re the top, you’re the coliseum.

  You’re the top, you’re the Louvre Museum.

  You’re the melody from a symphony by Strauss.

  You’re a Vendel bonnet, a Shakespeare sonnet, you’re Mickey Mouse!

  You’re the Nile, you’re the Tower of Pisa,

  You’re the smile on the Mona Lisa.

  I’m a worthless cheque, a total wreck, a flop.

  But if babe I’m the bottom, you’re the top!”

  This woman was clearly the biggest show-off I had ever seen. She had attracted the attention of everyone in the room, and worst of all, she could not sing. I wondered if she was drunk, but then again, I didn’t think she was. She then thought up her own lyrics for the song:

  “You’re the top of the Eiffel Tower.

  You’re the top, you’re the finest hour!

  You’re the boat I like on the lovely River Seine.

  If you were Champs Élysées, I’d like to say I’d come again!

  You’re the top, you’re the Pont Alexandre,

  You’re the wine, with a snail-filled dinner.

  I’m the frog without a leg on which to hop.

  But if babe I’m the bottom, you’re the top!”

  Veronica then stopped singing, and bowed to the crown. Many of the other guests who were there clapped, not including those who knew who she was. The members of staff clapped, not including Chloe. Veronica loved the attention, which proved my opinions of her gained earlier on.

  Chloe then approached me and said, “If you want a fantastic view of the countryside, go outside in the back, near the swimming pool is. You can see for miles around!”

  It was not completely dark yet, although the sun had set. I decided to catch a quick view of the countryside—I wasn’t much for socializing anyway.

  I went outside, and Chloe was right—the view was absolutely stunning. It was breath-taking. So this was what it was like to see the world, and tomorrow, I would see the whole of Paris. I was very excited about it.

  Suddenly, although he did not notice me, I spied Christopher Dewell sneaking off. He went behind the back of the building, literally tiptoeing so he didn’t make any noise. Quietly, I followed him, to see what he was up to.

  “I’ve waited so long to see you,” said a woman’s voice.

  “Did the others see us?” he said.

  “No. I made sure of it.”

  I then heard kissing sounds, and they were beginning to get more and more passionate. I then joked to myself, well, it was Paris, after all. But then I thought, who is this mystery woman? I knew it was too much of a risk to peek my head round the corner. Could it be Shona, Stephanie, or even Chloe? I thought it might be Chloe.

  Anyway, I decided to sneak back into the hotel before they caught me eavesdropping. It was ironic because they were the ones who were sneaking around, but I didn’t want to get involved. I quickly went back inside and acted as though nothing happened. After all, I didn’t feel sorry for Veronica one bit.

  It had been a long day, so we all decided it was time to head to bed, for tomorrow was going to be a big day.

  That night, in my room, it was fairly hot, so I opened the window. I heard arguing in the room next to me, which I had heard Alan and Shona Sanderson going into before.

  “Why did you have to get involved with him again?” Alan said, extremely angry.

  “How many times do I have to tell you, Alan? I didn’t get involved with him!”

  “Then where did you go when he went outside for a cigarette?”

  “I told you. I went outside to look at the view!”

  “You’re lying!”

  “Prove it!”

  “Alright, I will,” said Alan. “I’ll go and ask that Tammy tomorrow, shall I? She was outside when you were, so let’s see what she has to say!”

  My fears had come true—I did not want to get involved in it, but if Shona was having an affair, then perhaps Alan should know the truth. Then I thought about their ten years of marriage, realizing the future of that marriage might be in my hands.

  Chapter 28

  Throughout the night, I lie awake, thinking about the next day. Ever since I was a small girl, I had wanted to go to Paris to see the Eiffel Tower, and today was going to be the day. I had never had time to go on holidays, nor did my parents—we were always too busy taking care of other things over the years.

  The morning eventually arrived, and surprisingly, I was not tired. We got dressed in summer clothes, because the weather forecast had predicted that the day was going to be sunny. I couldn’t understand what they were saying but thankfully there were recognizable symbols. We were getting a painfully early start, but at least that meant we would have the full day in the city. Chloe said that it would take about half an hour to get to the city center, which was not too bad, considering Paris was a capital city, and we were on the outskirts.

  When I got downstairs, I was surprised to see that almost everyone who was going on the trip was there already. The Sandersons, Stephanie and Brendan, and of course, the Wilsons, although they were not seated with the others in the red outdoor seating area. They were sitting out of the way at a nearby table. Chloe then arrived, looking as stressed as ever.

  “Right, everyone,” she said. “The bus will leave in ten minutes. Now, where are those Milton’s?!”

  The Miltons, of course, were more elderly people, so they would take their time with things. I worried that they might not make it in time.

  “If they don’t hurry up we’ll have to leave without them!” Chloe cried, pulling her hair.

  “They’ll get here,” said Veronica. “Don’t worry.”

  “Oh,” said Stephanie. “I’ve forgotten my sun cream! I’ll just be a minute.”

  “You were looking for it earlier, weren’t you?” said Brendan.

  “Yes. I don’t know where it is,” replied Stephanie.

  “I’ll help you look for it,” I offered, considering I had nothing else to do. Stephanie agreed, so we went up the stairs and onto the first floor, directly above the outdoor seating area. We looked for a couple of minutes.

  “It’s a lovely place, isn’t it?” she said.

  “It’s one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been to,” I replied, still feeling as though I was living a dream.

  Stephanie then went out on to the balcony, where she saw the bottle of sun cream. Before picking it up, she took her dry, red towel from the balcony, and then put a wet, blue towel over the balcony, leaving the green one in the shade.

  “I’ll have to leave this one in the shade,” she said, pointing to the green one, “because this one tends to fall off and fall into the seating area.”

  Stephanie and I continued to make small talk. She seemed like a very nice
girl, and I was happy for her that she was engaged. That reminded me of Alan and Shona—they were in a hot mess. Neither had approached me to ask about last night, but I sensed it was coming. I knew it was.

  We arrived downstairs, and surprisingly, the others were now by the swimming pool, including Veronica.

  “It’s nicer here,” said Shona. “We get more sun.”

  Alan, Shona and Brendan were all talking to Veronica, and I found it rather strange. Then again, she might have been nice to talk to if she didn’t dislike you. I thought about whether I wanted to approach her to start a conversation with her, but decided to go out and check in with my parents instead.

  “Those bloody Miltons!” worried Chloe. “We’ve only got five minutes before we leave!”

  “They’ll get here,” said my father, trying to calm Chloe down.

  “I knew this would happen. I knew it! Every week, we go into Paris, and nothing ever changes. Someone either gets sick, is late or there is some other sort of drama!”

  “Calm down!” said my mother, getting rather stressed out herself for no apparent reason.

  I then noticed Christopher off by himself, doing nothing but sitting in the sunshine in the red seating area.

  Fortunately, the Miltons arrived, dawdling their way down the stairs.

  “Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Milton,” Chloe said, altering her tone of voice. “Did you sleep well?”

  “Yes,” said Mr. Milton. “Very well. We aren’t late, are we?”

  “No, no. Of course not!” cried Chloe.

  Now that everyone was here, we all set off on toward the bus—me, my parents, Chloe, the Miltons, the Sandersons, Stephanie, Brendan, and of course, the Wilsons. We all piled on the minibus, ready for our exciting adventure into the heart of the city of love.

  Chapter 29

  There is one word that describes the main part of Paris—breathtaking. It was the most beautiful place I’d ever been to. Everywhere you looked, it was beautiful. The buildings just blew me away—they were so wonderful. Their structure amazed me. I loved every single molecule of Paris at that moment in time, and I truly believed I was in heaven. Everyone else around me loved it as well, except for Chloe, of course, who was too busy stressing out about the day’s schedule. We were in the bus, and had been driving through Paris for five minutes, when Chloe picked up a microphone and started to speak.

  “Good morning, everyone,” she said. “We usually have a larger group than this, but never mind. It’s easier with just a few people, anyway. Today, we are going to see the main sights of Paris. First, we’ll be going on a boat trip. It’s a little unusual for daytime, but less people are present, and it’s just as nice anyway...”

  I didn’t care for the way Chloe expressed her opinions as facts either. The boat trip quite obviously would be more impressive in the dark.

  “...While we are on the boat, we will pass some monuments, some famous bridges, the Notre Dame Cathedral, and of course, the Eiffel Tower. We will then go off into town for some dinner, and then we will actually go to the Eiffel Tower!”

  There were cheers all around on the bus and I was even tempted to join in. This was going to be the perfect day—I knew it.

  As Chloe said, the first thing we did was go on the boat trip. That part of the day was amazing, even though it was in daylight. The boat went through the city slowly, allowing us to see the sights of the most romantic city in the world. While I still thought it would be particularly beautiful at night, I was forced to reconsider my hasty criticism of Chloe on the matter.

  On the boat, my parents and I sat near the front, while Stephanie, Brendan and the Sandersons were behind us. The Wilsons were sitting back out of the way and the Miltons sat next to them as well, taking in the sights, and perhaps enjoying the peace a bit away from the more boisterous crowd on the boat.

  “Do you mind if I take a photo?” said Stephanie, seeing that I had a camera in my hand. “I’m interested in photography.”

  “Of course,” I said, passing her the camera.

  While Stephanie was taking the photo, Veronica surprised me again by conversing normally with the Miltons and Chloe. Before, she had shown no interest in the Miltons at all, or Chloe either for that matter, but now, she was seemed happy to visit with them.

  “So, what other exciting adventures are we getting up to this week?” asked Veronica.

  “Well, on Thursday, I’m arranging a visit to the little French village next to our hotel,” said Chloe, attracting the attention of the neighbors. “It’s a nice place. A lot of things that happened in the war remain there, and it’s quite interesting to see what the people from World War One left for us.”

  “Sounds fascinating,” said Veronica, smiling.

  Christopher just sat there, listening in, saying nothing while the rest of the group was having fun.

  To my great and utter shock, when I turned round, underneath the empty seat next to me, I saw a gun. It was a pistol.

  “That was not there before!” I cried. “How on earth did this get here?”

  Everyone on the boat just sat there in silence, staring as we approached Notre Dame.

  “Somebody has just put this gun here!” I cried.

  “Well... we’ll hand it over to the police,” said Chloe, acting a bit nervous and shaky.

  There was no doubt it was real, and pretty common as handguns go.

  I wondered who could have put the gun there. Perhaps someone on the boat dropped it when they walked past? No crime there, but I would have thought someone would have claimed it.

  Although everyone was still agitated, they continued to take photographs, because the boat was quickly moving away from the Cathedral.

  “Let’s just try to forget about this,” said Chloe, laughing ever so slightly, but clearly rattled.

  I couldn’t help being suspicious of everyone on the boat, but when I left the boat, I decided to forget about it. After all, there were dangerous people in the big, bad world and for that matter, there were plenty of upright law abiding citizens who made the choice to carry a weapon.

  After having wandered around the city a little, we visited a fancy restaurant for some dinner. I was anxious to try the French food, although I was going to give the snails a pass.

  Dinner was nice, but I was still saddened to see the destroyed relationship between Alan and Shona. They were speaking quietly and sitting at a separate table from the rest of the group. I could never quite make out what they were saying, but it was obvious they were still arguing about what had happened the night before. In contrast, Stephanie and Brendan were loving every minute of it. It was a traditional romantic meal in Paris and they were sharing spaghetti, getting ahold of one piece of the pasta, they slurped it together until reaching the end, resulting in a kiss. Personally, I thought that was a bit overdramatic, but they were on vacation in Paris and they were young lovers, so I accepted it. They spent plenty of time laughing and joking too, and then they took photos using their mobile phones, standing against the window, which showed the Eiffel Tower in the background.

  Then I turned my attention to the Wilsons, I didn’t know how to describe them exactly in my head. They just didn’t speak. They looked in opposite directions, as if they had been told some devastating news or something. Occasionally, each of them would take a sip of their soup, or a bite of their baguette. Finally, I looked at the Miltons. Again, it was nice to see romance, both young and old. The Miltons were obviously happy together, and had been all their life. They were eating the French food that I had found a little disgusting. They then got up and looked out the window, watching life go by in one of the most stunning capitals of the world.

  When everyone was finished with their meal, Chloe got up and announced, “if everyone is ready to proceed, we shall—and our next stop… the Eiffel Tower!”

  Again, there were cheers and clapping, as we all got up to go off to what might possibly be the most amazing experience of our lives.<
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  Chapter 30

  All of my senses were tingling as we approached the Eiffel Tower. This was the moment I’d been waiting for my whole life. I had dreamed of this moment ever since I was a young girl. Now that I was here, standing right next to the Eiffel Tower, my dream had finally come true. It made me forget for just a while about the horrible event that had occurred at home, and all of my anger and self-hatred had gone. I now felt more confident in myself, and looked forward to enjoying life again, putting that brief period of depression behind me.

  Chloe got all of the tickets for us, and it was announced that we would have to take the stairs up to the second floor, because the lifts were far too busy and the lines too long. Although there were several groans behind me, I would have preferred to walk it anyway as it was part of the overall experience of my dreams. However, I turned round and realized that the Miltons would have to walk up with us.

  “I’ll help escort you up,” I offered, realizing that they must be in their eighties.

  “Why, thank you, young lady!” said Doreen Milton.

  “I can do that,” said Chloe, grabbing Frank Milton by the arm.

  “I can come with you, anyway,” I stated. “I would prefer to walk slowly anyway.”

  “Well, if you insist,” said Chloe, looking somewhat disappointed.

  The others dashed up the tower (including my parents, who left me behind). I just waited with the Miltons and Chloe. On the way up, I looked through the iron bars, and kept looking down. It was a huge drop, and it gradually increased as we walked up each flight of stairs. I loved every minute of it, though. I was on the Eiffel Tower! I kept touching the bars, just so I could touch the Eiffel Tower. I then noticed that the tower had an unusual structure to it—from where I was standing, it seemed that each bar went off in the opposite direction than the one next to it. I could see right through some of the gaps at times, right to the other side. It was fantastic.

  “Are you alright?” Chloe said to Doreen, who was beginning to slow down more and more.

  “Perhaps we could have a five-minute break on the first floor?” replied Doreen, rather out of breath.