Doubt

by Anne-Rae Vasquez

  Stop thinking about it and it will go away.

  She sank down on the chair and closed her eyes. She took in a deep breath and then let out a long exhale just as her father had taught her.

  “Be careful, Cristal,” her father’s voice hummed in her head.

  After a few minutes of deep breathing, the shaking stopped.

  “Are you okay?”

  She opened her eyes and saw Gabriel and Kerim standing in the doorway looking like repentant little boys begging forgiveness from their mother.

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” she replied. “Did you guys make peace?”

  Gabriel lips curled into a smile.

  He turned to Kerim and said, “Hey, how did you learn those cool self-defense moves?”

  “I was in the Turkish Army for four years for mandatory service,” Kerim said.

  “Could you teach me some of that? I’m really good at fighting in the game, but man, it would be really cool to be able to do it for real.”

  Gabriel threw him a fake punch to his stomach.

  Kerim doubled over. They began fake wrestling together, bumping into the doorframe.

  “Okay, boys. Are you guys done yet?” Cristal said, relieved that they were no longer at each other’s throats.

  Suddenly, a high-pitched sound blasted into the room knocking the action figures off the shelf. The floor began shaking beneath her feet. She paused for a moment, wondering if she was causing this. She looked at her hands. They were steady and she noticed too that her breathing was even. But I stopped shaking. This shouldn’t be happening.

  She glanced up to see Gabriel’s hand on the doorframe and the other one holding onto Kerim’s chest, his eyes closed tight. Kerim’s arms were outstretched, his hands holding onto the doorframe. His eyes were staring at her, wide open; his face pale.

  Her multiple experiences with the room shaking, minus the high-pitched sound, made her relatively calm despite what was happening. As if in a dream, she watched in slow motion her laptop slide off the desk along with her mouse, the jar of pens and other miscellaneous office supplies.

  Her chair seemed to sway with the waves of turbulence, almost as if the legs had shock absorbers attached. Although the shaking seemed to be in slow motion for her, she knew that it wasn’t the same for Kerim and Gabriel. She could see the doorframe shaking violently, the wall almost seeming like it was going to implode. For brief instances, it seemed that Kerim and Gabriel disappeared into thin air. Freak, I’m seeing things now.

  She opened her mouth to call out to them but the thunderous roar around them muted her voice. It seemed like hours but really was only seconds later when the floor stopped shaking. She noticed that the high-pitched sound had also vanished. Everything grew eerily still.

  Kerim let go of the doorframe, his arms falling down to his sides. Gabriel was still clutching to him; his eyes closed.

  “Oh!” Gabriel whimpered.

  After a few seconds, he opened one eye and looked around the room. He glanced up at Kerim who was glaring down at him. He half-smiled, letting go of Kerim.

  “I mean, wow that was really friggin’ amazing, huh?” Gabriel said.

  Kerim pushed Gabriel aside and rushed towards Cristal.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  She gave him a thumbs up but was still unsure if she were the cause of what seemed to be a mini earthquake.

  “Yeah, I’m okay.”

  What just happened here? Was it an earthquake or was the shaking isolated to the room? So many thoughts were filling her mind.

  Kerim bent down to pick up her laptop. The light from the screen was still on—a good sign that all her work was not lost.

  “Looks like your laptop is just as tough as you,” Kerim said, while placing the computer back on top of the desk.

  On the screen, the video chat window was open, and Harry and Joanna were watching them.

  Joanna’s mouth was wide open, her eyes wide with shock. Harry was grinning from ear to ear. He was speaking, but there was no sound. Behind them, people were picking up things off the ground. From what Cristal could make of it, they were mostly cups, cutlery, and overturned chairs.

  Cristal reached over and pressed the volume button until Harry’s voice was audible. Gabriel came over and stood behind her while Kerim moved to the other side.

  “…that was spectacular, guys. Dr. Saeed and I were working on some tests. We believe we are closer to proving my father’s theory. We want to talk to all of you in person tonight. I will text you the details.”

  Chapter 8

  Questions That Need Answers

  CRISTAL STARED AT HER monitor in disbelief. The video chat window went black.

  “Were you in on this?” Gabriel asked, turning to her.

  Cristal said, “No,” and sat back.

  Suddenly Kerim leaned towards her, grabbed the chair’s armrests with both hands and spun her chair towards him. With his hands still on the armrests, he leaned over and looked directly into her eyes.

  She heard Gabriel ask, “What was that, guys?”

  Kerim’s eyes seemed to be shooting accusations into hers while she was trying to process what Harry had told them.

  “You were very calm during the whole thing,” he said to her raising one eyebrow.

  She stared back, not one to be easily intimidated. She could hear Gabriel moving around behind her.

  “She didn’t seem calm to me,” Gabriel said.

  Kerim tilted his head towards him.

  “Gabriel, you had your eyes closed the whole time.”

  She felt her body relax for a moment.

  “Well, not the whole time,” Gabriel replied. “Okay, most of it.”

  Kerim’s eyes met hers causing her body to tense up again.

  “Before you answer, Cristal,” Kerim said, “I want to know, can we trust him?”

  He pointed at Gabriel.

  “Hey! Wait a minute!” Gabriel cried out.

  She shoved her chair back, releasing Kerim’s death grip on the chair, forcing him to stand up. She looked from Gabriel to Kerim. Question is, can I trust either of them?

  “If you really want to know…” she said drawing out the words like maple syrup dripping out of a bottle.

  She could see Gabriel pleading with his eyes for her to continue. Oh, no, here we go.

  “This isn’t the first time this happened to me.”

  Gabriel leaned back on the desk, his mouth open in astonishment.

  “What do you mean?”

  Kerim moved towards her, kneeling down on one knee. He placed his right hand on the armrest. His steel grey eyes searched hers. It felt like he was digging into her mind for answers.

  “Do you want to know what I saw, Cristal?” Kerim asked in a low voice.

  Her arms felt as if they were paralyzed, her legs stiff.

  Kerim continued, “You started the earthquake and the bright light, right?” he asked in a hypnotic tone.

  Cristal clenched her fists and struggled to get up. Why can’t I move?

  Summoning all her strength and will power, she managed to push Kerim away. She stood up, causing him to stumble backwards onto the desk. This time she leaned in towards him, planting her fists on her hips.

  “Is this an interrogation, Kerim?” she hissed.

  She could feel her emotions getting out of control.

  “I was watching you and there was a beam of light coming out from your chest to the ceiling and it bounced back to the ground. It was like the light was coming through you.”

  Kerim took a step forward, approaching her with caution.

  What is he talking about?

  Her hands fell to her side. Even though every cell in her body wanted to escape from the mindless inquisition, she forced herself to stay put. It was impossible for her to tear her gaze away from him. If he leaned any closer, their noses would have touched.

  “I don’t know anything about that,” she admitted, not knowing what else to say.

  “When the
room was shaking, you were motionless. Your eyes were empty. But I could see things above your head.”

  Gabriel threw him a look.

  “What things?”

  “I don’t know how to explain it,” Kerim continued. “It was like watching a movie from an old projector onto the white screen. Except the screen was the light that was coming out from inside you.”

  She blinked in astonishment. That’s impossible. Does he think I’m going to believe this BS? I have to get out of here.

  “Cristal, did you feel or see any of that?” Gabriel asked. “Are you okay?”

  “No, I’m not okay. I don’t have to stay here and take this crap.”

  She leaped up, bumping Gabriel to the side as she grabbed her laptop and her backpack and headed to the door.

  She hurried down the hallway with Kerim and Gabriel tailing her. When she reached the living room, Kerim grabbed her by the shoulder with Gabriel blocking her path.

  “Cristal, you can’t leave now. We need to talk about this,” Kerim said.

  Who the hell does he think he is?

  “No, we don’t. I need to go and find Harry. Let me go.”

  She pushed his hand off of her.

  “Harry?” Gabriel asked.

  She noted the sound of concern in his voice.

  “No, I agree with Kerim. We need to figure this out as much as we can before meeting Harry and the rest of the group tonight.”

  She couldn’t think properly much less talk about it. Beam of light? Projections above my head? What next?

  Just then, her cell phone beeped. She scrambled to get it out of her backpack. New text message from Harry. The sound of Gabriel and Kerim’s cell phone text message ringtones followed soon after.

  Zero: Meet me at the GN University, Physics Dept., Room 1130 at 6 pm today. Confirm receipt.

  She started to type a text back when her phone started ringing. Harry’s name came up on the screen. She swiped the screen to answer.

  “Yes?” Cristal asked.

  “Cristal, checking to see if you’re okay.”

  Harry’s voice seemed serious, but she could hear a hint of excitement. His phone call should have calmed her, but she was feeling more anxious than ever.

  “No, not really. What were you talking about earlier? What tests?” she said.

  Should I tell Harry about the light that Kerim saw? No. Don’t tell him anything until I figure out what he is up to.

  “I’ll meet you back at GN and we can talk then,” he said.

  Before she could say anything, he ended the call.

  Chapter 9

  Who to Trust

  CRISTAL’S THOUGHTS WERE rattling in her head like a pinball machine, each one banging into the other.

  “I have to go,” she said still staring at her phone.

  “Okay, I’ll drop you off,” Kerim replied.

  He went into the living room grabbing his helmet off the couch.

  “No, I’m taking a cab back to the office.”

  Kerim appeared startled by her response.

  “Okay, then. See you tonight,” Kerim said slowly.

  Gabriel stared at her with a look of concern.

  “We should talk about this some more, but that’s just what I think,” he mumbled to himself.

  Maybe Gabriel is right. She paused for a moment but then shook her doubts from her head and walked out the door.

  ***

  Outside the building, she welcomed the fresh air. She stood still for a moment, taking in deep breaths, hoping to relax. She looked around. People were scattering on the streets like the fire ants that used to seek safety from the garden hose she used to wield on in the backyard of her childhood home.

  “There is no signal,” a young man said to her. He was waving his cell phone. “Do you have a signal?”

  She shook her head, knowing full well that her cell phone was working fine. It was connected to a satellite and not on a regular cellular network. Harry had made sure that all the Truth Seekers were able to communicate with each other at all times.

  She glanced down at her phone and noticed there was a text message from Serena.

  Lioness: We just had a small earthquake here in Manila. No physical damage but lots of people are saying they saw weird things. Like visions… Will send you pics soon.

  What? An earthquake in the Philippines too? She began typing a response when she noticed some commotion on the corner of the intersection.

  A group of teenagers on the corner were pointing towards the sky. She tilted her head to see what the big deal was. Something was very different. Angry strokes of crimson red with charcoal rain clouds hung above them. Streaks of lightning were crisscrossing each other like an intricate woven rug. If she squinted, she could make out an image, almost like a painting. The image of a middle aged woman was becoming more vivid and clear.

  I must be seeing things. Have to get out of here.

  She scurried down West 34th Street praying to find a cab that could take her out of the chaos but abandoned cars were making the normally traffic congested street even more difficult for cabs to get through. She started picking up her pace, half walking, half running. She had to get to GN, which was on Lexington and East 33rd Avenue, probably a good twenty-five-minute walk.

  Pockets of people passed her by, their eyes opened wide, blinking fast as she raced past them. A woman with snow-white hair and clear blue eyes caught her gaze. She was walking towards her, clutching her black purse, her shoes with thick black heels hitting the ground making a sound like a crack of thunder with each step. Cristal covered her ears hoping to block the sound. Walk past her. Look away.

  She tried to avoid making eye contact, but her eyes were drawn back to the woman. The old lady was now stopped in front of her raising her crooked finger at her.

  “It was you. You were in my vision during the earthquake.”

  Cristal froze, the old lady’s words crawling into her skull. Her skin felt like fire ants crawling up her arms.

  “I don’t know what you mean,” she said, half believing her own words.

  The woman continued, clutching the gold cross around her neck like it was the only thing keeping her alive. “It was you. There was a bright light coming down from heaven through your body into the earth.”

  Cristal shook her head and said firmly, “No, not me! It wasn’t me.”

  She yanked her arm away from the old woman and started sprinting down the street. Her heart was pounding; her palms sweating as she ran. Her backpack bounced against her and the straps rubbed against her shoulders.

  She kept running, oblivious of the people bumping into her. The words repeated in her head like a mantra.

  “It wasn’t me. It wasn’t me!”

  She looked up and realized that GN was at the next corner. Need to get Harry to tell me what the hell is going on.

  She dodged traffic and ran across the street. As she ran up to the busy intersection, another voice entered her head.

  “But it was you, darling.”

  Chapter 10

  Earthquake or Not?

  CRISTAL’S PULSE WAS RACING, her lungs gasping for air. “Was it me?” she asked herself.

  She felt as though she had just finished doing the 100-mile sprint of her life. It seemed hilarious now that she was far away from the old lady. Imagine being frightened of a little defenseless granny. Harry would probably tell her to get her head checked if she told him what just happened. Deep down inside, the fear was like lead weighing down her gut. She had to get to Harry to get some answers.

  She pushed her way past the people on the street and ran across the intersection. Some GN staff were standing in clusters all around the designated safe areas. She saw members from her team gathering at the end of the street. She weaved her way through the crowd, searching for Harry. She could hear comments as she walked past.

  “It’s the climate change that did this,” a lady from the accounting department said.

  “I bet you it had something
to do with terrorists,” another said.

  “It was scary. I thought we were going to die,” a man from the helpdesk support team told a fellow team member.

  As she came closer, the sound of their voices filled her head. The sound was rising as if someone had cranked up the volume full blast. She needed to calm down and take control of herself.

  Get out of my head! She closed her eyes and slowed her breathing.

  It was working. The voices were fading, except for one. Harry’s.

  “Cristal, is everything okay?”

  She opened her eyes to find Harry staring at her intensely. A wave of relief swept through her body until she noticed Joanna beside him, clutching onto Harry’s arm as if she were holding onto him for dear life.

  Cristal wanted answers but not to the expense of having Joanna listening in.

  “Harry, we need to talk.”

  Harry must have noticed Cristal’s anxiety. He glanced down and pulled his arm from Joanna’s vice-like grip. Joanna put on a show by glaring at him, crossing her arms and pouting.

  What a spoiled brat, Cristal thought.

  “They’re doing a head count,” he said, switching back to Cristal.

  “Good to know,” Cristal replied.

  “Can you take me home?” Joanna asked, tugging at Harry’s arm. Harry shook his arm free, the expression on his face reflecting his irritation.

  “Are you listening to me?” she whined.

  He responded but his gaze never left Cristal’s face.

  “Joanna, calm down. After they give us the all-clear signal, we have to go back in.”

  “You’re the manager! You can let us go home, if you wanted to,” she said.

  Cristal gritted her teeth. Patience with Joanna was not her strongest quality.

  “Get a hold of yourself, Joanna,” she finally snapped. “At least you’re okay, so stop acting like such a bitch.”

  “Okay? I’m NOT okay,” Joanna blurted out. She waved her arms to emphasize her point. “None of this is okay!”

  “Do you realize what happened today?” Cristal asked, her anger rising.