“You what?” Gwen knew he often called to her to wake up, but the thought of him actually experiencing her nightmare was abhorrent.
“How could you?” Gwen turned to leave. She couldn’t even look at him. Mischa grabbed her arm.
“Gwen, I didn’t try to invade your dreams, if that’s what you think. Your distress connected us. Please listen to me.”
“I can’t do this.” Gwen twisted her arm free and ran into the garden. Finding a shadow she quickly opened a door and ported back to her apartment in London.
§
“That didn’t go well,” Desya said, walking up and patting Mischa on the back. “You look terrible, my friend.”
“Gwen and I have been separated for six months now.” Mischa stared into the night. More than anything, he wished to hold his mate. “She keeps tight shields around her mind that only loosen when she is sleeping.”
“So you’ve been pining. Let me help. A lycan male raped your mate?” Desya motioned to a bench near the house.
“Yes, ten years ago on her high school prom night.” Mischa followed him to the seat. “She never told anyone. The man responsible, Chuck Jensen, tried to kill Sergei while they fought for the Alpha position of the Argent Pack in Montana last year. Gwen shot him with a poisoned dart to save Sergei’s life. He’s dead. But some nights after one of her nightmares intrudes, I want to kill him again and again.” He sighed.
“As would any of us. I’m not sure I want to learn of these American Lycans who would let someone like that live amongst them.”
“Afraid of a challenge, the old alpha never tried to find out what Chuck was up to. Even now a year later, Sergei works to repair the damage to the pack.” Mischa shook his head, glad he wasn’t the Alpha in charge of a traumatized pack.
“Grigori said Gwen wasn’t part of a pack growing up. That she didn’t allow herself to connect to her wolf.”
“Chuck was behind that as well.” Mischa leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “He wanted Gwen as a mate, so he terrorized her to get her wolf to come out, but she kept in control and never let him know she could shift.” Mischa was proud of her for that.
Desya shook his head. “Seems like this Chuck caused your mate a lot of heartache.”
Mischa nodded. “Grigori said Gwen is doing well with her wolf now. He has been working with her since she came to England.”
“That’s why you didn’t go after her? You hoped Grigori could train her like he does all the young ones?”
“I hoped he could help her. I’m glad to know she is now whole in that sense. I shouldn’t have pushed her tonight. I grabbed her arm.” Mischa sighed. He’d read every book he could find on sexual assault when he realized what had happened. But book knowledge only helped so much when dealing with the issue in person.
“I know this is going to be hard on you. If you need to talk, I’m here.”
Mischa struggled to swallow. He’d missed Desya since following his older brother Sergei from Siberia to Montana. “I know it’s stupid to feel this way, but I hate that I wasn’t there to protect her.”
“You didn’t even know her.”
“I know, stupid, right?” Mischa grimaced.
“No. I understand. She’s your mate and she’s hurting. You want to take away the pain.”
Mischa nodded again. “That’s why I won’t force her. She has to choose me.”
“And if she doesn’t? Do you want to die?”
“No, but if that’s what the future holds . . .”
“Don’t you dare give up!” Desya rose and began to pace in front of the bench. “I’m sure there are counselors Grigori can hire. He’s her Alpha. He could distance her memories. Remove some of the fear.”
“She’d never allow it. Not everything that’s happened since the attack is bad. Look how she flipped Tolya. That wasn’t a fluke. She took martial arts classes and personal defense. She teaches the other women in her tribe how to protect themselves. She is stronger now than she’s ever been and if she is one with her wolf, then she is in the right place to face this last test.”
“Taking a mate,” Desya said.
Mischa nodded.
“There you two are,” Grigori said, walking to the bench from the house. “Dinner is served. You need to come in and eat. I guess Gwen won’t be joining us.”
Desya shook his head. Mischa frowned. His stomach seemed to always be tied in knots. He didn’t want food; he wanted Gwen. Grigori put his arm around Mischa’s shoulders.
“You’re going to eat and regain your strength, my friend. You can’t help your mate if you are physically weak. That’s an Alpha order by the way. You’re here now. We’ll make things right.”
§
“Ms. Quiet Thunder, your meeting with the head of security of the building on Lincoln’s Inn Fields Street has been canceled.”
“Mr. Thomas? Did he say why?” Gwen asked, surprised. What about the broken camera?
“He spoke to Mr. Grigori this afternoon on the phone and is satisfied that the building is safe,” her assistant said.
“With both bosses out of the office this week, it’s making it difficult to talk to the clients. They all want to speak to Grigori or Brencis.” Gwen reached for the file on the Sardinia Government Building and made a note before setting it aside. She could hop over there after work and check the camera connections. That way she’d find out if the camera actually needed to be replaced.
The door to the outer office opened and a voice called. “Hello, delivery.”
“I’ll get that.” Gwen’s secretary hurried from the room. In moments, she returned with a huge flower arrangement of yellow roses in her hands. “These came for you.”
“Really?” Gwen rose from her chair to take the vase. The smell of roses filled the air and she remembered last night in the Alpha’s garden.
“There’s a card,” her assistant sounded hopeful. Was Mischa using her staff to help woo her?
Gwen put the flowers on a table and plucked the card from the middle of the arrangement. She walked back to her desk. When she didn’t immediately open the card, her assistant reluctantly left the room.
Gwen sat down and fiddled with the envelope. She shouldn’t have gotten so upset with Mischa last night. It wasn’t uncommon for telepaths to pick up someone’s distressed thoughts. She used to get caught in Lindy’s dreams. She hadn’t handled their meeting at all well.
She opened the envelope and pulled out the card. It read: Never has a woman thrown me for a loop before. Forgive my impudence in reaching for perfection. I hope we can be friends, your servant, Tolya.
“Tolya?” Gwen asked, rising from her chair. Not Mischa. Why did she feel so disappointed?
“Did you call, miss?” her assistant asked from the door.
“No. Why don’t you take lunch now? I’ll watch the phones while you’re gone.”
Her secretary nodded. “Okay, I’ll be back in an hour.”
Gwen nodded and waved. She sat slowly in her chair. Then she smiled. Tolya was a terrible flirt, but harmless. Gwen laughed.
An hour later, Gwen looked up from her computer in surprise. The smell of male lycan floated on the air. She wrinkled her nose, her first reaction distaste. That first whiff of musky fur smell always reminded her of Chuck. She took a deeper sniff, looking for the notes below. She recognized this scent, pine and cinnamon.
“I hope I’m not interrupting your work,” Tolya said, leaning against her door jam, his face pale and his eyes a little wild.
“Is everything all right? You look . . .”
“I need to sit down.” Tolya sank into the chair in front of her desk. “What do I do now? I’m not ready . . .” He dropped his head into his hands. “You weren’t ready to meet Mischa, right?”
“Ready? Tolya, you’re not making sense.” Gwen frowned. Something was wrong. Maybe she should call the Alpha.
“I met my mate. At Meadow’s shop. Angeline. What do I do?” Tolya looked at Gwen. She could see the fear on his face. He looked
extremely shaken. She understood the feeling. At least Tolya would have an easier time of claiming his mate then Mischa had with her. Her chest ached and she closed her eyes a moment.
“You’ve got to help me.” Tolya’s voice came barely above a whisper. Gwen sighed. She liked this lycan.
Oh, she respected and admired Grigori and Brencis, but with Tolya, she felt differently. Almost like she did with her foster brothers, Raven and Derek. In fact, Tolya reminded her of her foster brother, Derek, too pretty for his own good. She smiled.
“Okay, I’ll help you. What do you need?”
“You will?” he asked, his head popping up. “Oh, thank you! I’ve never dated anyone before. I don’t know what to do and she’s a human.” The door to the outer office opened and Gwen’s secretary walked in.
“I’m back, you can go . . . now.” One look at Tolya and her mouth fell open. She blushed. “Oh. Hello.”
“Don’t get worked up,” Gwen said, rising from her chair. “He’s taken.”
“Oh,” the secretary’s face fell. “Oh, is this your boyfriend? The one who sent the flowers?”
“He sent the flowers, but he is not my boyfriend. Come on, Tolya. You can take me to lunch and we’ll talk.” Gwen grabbed her purse. Now this she could handle, helping a friend with his girl problems.
“It was nice meeting you,” Tolya said to the secretary as he followed Gwen out of the room.
“Uh huh,” Gwen’s secretary said, following them into the outer office.
§
“I’ve made an appointment for you. Here’s the address.” Grigori handed a card to Mischa as he sat eating in the kitchen.
“I thought my job was guarding you and your mate.” Mischa took the card and ran his finger over the raised lettering.
“Jurek and two of the English pack members are here for added security. Plus, there are police parked at our front gate. I don’t think anyone would be brazen enough to attack us in broad daylight. We’ll be fine.”
“Who is Dr. Janice Jamison?”
“A counselor who specializes in treating sexual assault victims. She will give you suggestions on how to approach your mate.”
“Are you sure we can trust her?” What would Gwen think of him soliciting the help of a counselor?
“Of course. Let’s say she is highly recommended by a friend. Desya will accompany you. Your appointment is at three this afternoon.” Mischa began to rise. “Finish your lunch or Rosie’s feelings will be hurt.” From the Alpha’s tone of voice, Mischa realized that would be a grave sin. He nodded and took another bite of left over beef stew from last night’s dinner.
Desya walked in and joined them at the table. “The boys will be in shortly from their physical training. That obstacle course is amazing. Wish we had something like that in Siberia when you trained us, Grigori.”
“We had the whole forest to train in, but I thank you for the compliment. Grab some lunch. Once the boys get to the left overs, they’ll be gone.” Grigori chuckled. Mischa couldn’t agree more. Young lycans needed a lot of fuel.
Desya helped himself from the pot on the stove. “So we’re going into London this afternoon?”
“Yes, you’ll need to leave as soon as you’re finished to make the appointment on time. If you want to do some sightseeing or maybe check in at Solovyov Security, that would be fine. Let us know so Rosie can plan dinner.”
“Don’t hold dinner for us,” Mischa said, quickly taking the last bite in his bowl. He wanted to see where Gwen worked and maybe convince her to go out to dinner and talk. “I’ll be right back. I need to get something before we leave.”
§
Gwen chose one of the nicer restaurants in the area to eat. The hostess waited for Gwen and Tolya to take their seats before she placed the menus in front of them, leaning over a little more so Tolya could glimpse her cleavage.
“If there’s anything you need, please don’t hesitate to ask.” Tolya smiled at the woman and she sauntered away.
“Okay, that has to stop now that you have a mate.” Gwen shook her head. This might be an impossible mission.
“What?” Tolya asked, looking confused.
“Smiling at other women like that.”
“I was being friendly.”
“The only woman you are friendly with now is your mate. I’m not saying to be rude, just tone it down a little. You ooze sex appeal.”
“I can’t help it. I look amazing and women want me.”
“Modest, too.” Gwen chuckled. “Look, do you want my help or not?”
“Of course. I hate to admit it,” Tolya leaned closer, “but I’m terrified. What if I screw up? What if she doesn’t want me for me? You know, besides my looks. Women never get past my looks.” Gwen’s thoughts strayed to her own mate. They’d been doing that a lot since seeing him last night. Was Mischa as scared as Tolya?
Tolya reached across the table and pressed her hand. Surprisingly, the touch didn’t have any adverse effect. “Tell me what to do, Gwen.”
“The best advice I can give is be yourself. Don’t pay attention to other women. Focus your attention on Angeline. Let her see the real you. The person underneath the layers of charm and good looks you share with the world.”
“Is that the part you give to Mischa, the real you?” Tolya squeezed her hand. She pulled it free and placed it in her lap.
“Is this a set up? Do you really need my help or are you trying to pave the way for your friend?”
“I do need your help, but if I can pave the way for my friend, then I will. Mischa is your friend too, Gwen.”
“Is he?” Gwen picked up her menu and began to peruse the offerings.
“Mischa is willing to die for you. Is that not friendship? To put the needs of another before your own?”
Gwen lowered the menu, feeling foolish for hiding.
“If he is feeling what I’m feeling,” Tolya shook his head. “How he has lasted so long is a testament to his self-control. I want to run back to Meadow’s store. I want to grab Angeline and kiss her, make love to her, claim her heart and soul. I know that is my wolf talking, but my human side isn’t far behind. Only fear keeps me here at your side. The fear of doing something wrong, something that will make her deny me. I’m not ready to mate. I thought I would have more time.” Tolya speared his fingers through his hair. “Forgive me. I’m not normally so out of control.”
Out of control, that’s how Gwen felt when she realized Mischa was the one. Her wolf wanted to claim and conquer too. She could do it with her martial arts training. It would take someone better trained then her, lycan or human male, to best her now. Did she run from Montana because she feared Mischa or because she felt out of control?
“Gwen? Are we still friends? Can you forgive me for pushing?” Tolya’s voice cut into her thoughts.
“There’s nothing to forgive. You’re right. Mischa has only done right by me. I’m the one who keeps screwing up.” The realization shifted a burden Gwen didn’t know she carried. She controlled her relationship with Mischa. He gave that to her from day one.
“Fear will do that. Sometimes the thing we fear the most is the unknown.”
They talked and teased through lunch. Gwen comfortable with Tolya even when he persisted on touching her, which he did often.
He insisted on paying the bill when they finished and even ignored how the waitress kept flirting. Maybe there was hope for this playboy lycan after all. Gwen even let him take her arm to escort her outside into the afternoon sunshine. They’d started walking toward her office building when Tolya suddenly clutched his head. He moaned.
“What is it?” Gwen asked.
“Angeline. Something is terribly wrong. She’s terrified. I have to get back to Meadow’s shop.”
“Over here,” Gwen clutched Tolya’s arm and led him around the corner of one of the buildings and out of the direct sunlight. “Are your clothes made of all natural fibers?”
Tolya nodded a questioning look on his face. A shadow wavered
near the ground where an extension protruded into the alley. Gwen quickly knelt and opened a door into the Shadow dimension.
“Take my arm, and whatever happens, don’t let go.” Gwen pulled Tolya through the portal.
Black writhing mist immediately surrounded them. Gwen turned and closed the entrance.
“Govno! Where are we? Damn, it’s cold.” Tolya shivered.
“Shh, I have to concentrate.” Gwen began to picture the alley behind Meadow’s shop. She’d placed a camera on the back of the building just yesterday and knew the perfect place to come out of Shadow.
As soon as she could see the scene on the other side clearly, she opened another door and walked them back onto the Earth plane.
“Damn! Amazing. Frigid.” Tolya shivered. “They told me you had special abilities, I didn’t realize that meant teleporting.”
“That’s Shadow Walking.” Gwen shrugged.
A car roared up and screeched to a halt. Brencis jumped out of the vehicle. “What are you doing here?”
“Someone has Angeline. She fears for her life. She’s here. I can feel her through the mating bond,” Tolya said, hurrying over to the car.
“In the basement,” Brencis motioned. “They have Meadow too. She’s drugged.”
“I’ll break down the door.” Tolya hurried down the steps.
“No need. Meadow gave me a key.” Brencis placed the key in the lock. “Gwen you stay back. Contact Grigori.” He rushed into the darkened room, Tolya on his heels, leaving the door open.
“Men,” she muttered. She’d watch the doorway and make sure no one escaped.
Gwen peeked inside and glimpsed figures wearing black robes with hoods and heard chanting. She shivered. A feeling of evil washed over her and made her want to gag.
Using her telepathy, she reached for Grigori with her thoughts. He connected with her immediately.
“Gwen, stay back. Help is on the way. These people are witches and use magic. I’m not sure how it might affect you.”
Magic? “I’m actually pretty good in a fight. I’m not helpless, you know.” Gwen sent back.
Lycan's Mate: Book Twelve of the Siberian Volkov Pack Romance Series Page 3