by M Dauphin
By now the tears are flowing freely and sobs wracking my body. How did things turn for the worst so fucking fast? We were supposed to be on a plane to Milan today for a shoot with Vogue. He was going to be their new face, he just didn’t know it yet. I was going to surprise him with the news on the airplane and watch him try to not freak out in front of everyone. It was going to be hilarious… but now I’m sobbing like a child in his hallway while he sleeps off the treatment he got today to kill the cancer.
It’s funny how things can change at the drop of a hat.
“Hey,” Braydon’s voice is soft and worried. Opening my eyes, he’s standing at the bottom of the stairs, coming down from his apartment with a girl who, even in her walk of shame status, puts me to shame.
Perfect.
“Oh, hi. Sorry.” I sniffle, wiping my face and trying to compose myself. Bray and I are close but I’ve never cried around him. He’s only seen the tough as shit Alexis that helped get Lane’s career off to the right start. He’s never seen this one.
“Everything ok?” He asks, rushing over to me once my eyes hit his. I said we weren’t as close as me and Lane, but I never said he wasn’t a good friend. He knows when something’s wrong, and something’s obviously very wrong.
“Yes. Fine.” I huff, remembering the bitch standing behind him. He spent the day fucking a Barbie wanna be, instead of being with his best friend.
What. The. Fuck.
“You know what, everything’s fine Braydon.” Glaring at him, I narrow my eyes and flick my gaze to the girl then back to him. “Obviously you have shit to take care of that’s more important.”
“Fuck, Al… Just… let me… Don’t go anywhere.” His hands come to my arms and he finds my gaze with his beautiful blue eyes. “I’ll be right back. Promise.”
“I thought you were getting me dinner!” The woman whines.
“I’m taking you downstairs and putting you in a cab, Trixie… Here’s a twenty for food.” He grunts as he passes her and takes her hand, leaving me standing in the hallway pissed and angry that he missed today to fuck some whore. A whore named Trixie. I shouldn’t be pissed. Lane had me, and he seemed totally content with that, not mentioning Braydon’s name once, but I didn’t have anyone! It would have been nice to have another support member there with me. It’s been the three of us for so long but these last few days it’s felt like Braydon’s been pulling away from us. I’m not sure what’s going through his mind, but Lane’s like a brother to him. He’d never do anything to hurt him and has always been there for him in the past.
When Braydon makes it back inside, he rushes to me and immediately wraps me in his arms, whispering apologies into my hair. Tightly, he holds on to me as I fall apart again. That’s all it takes. The look in his eyes just now when he walked back inside tells me everything isn’t as it seems. It was a look of fear. A look of sadness. He’s hurting, too… he’s just choosing other means to make him feel better.
“Shh,” he murmurs, shaking his head gently as I cry into his chest. “Jesus, Al. I didn’t think you were able to cry like this.” He chuckles when I back up and slug him in the arm. “What?! You’re our tough Alexis… tough as nails. Who is this girl?” His grin is playful but I see the worry in his eyes.
“This girl is a girl who just sat with her best friend-”
“Boyfriend.” He cuts in like it bothers him but I ignore it.
“I just watched Lane sit through hours of chemo, Braydon. I watched them poison him to kill the disease inside him. I watched him struggle to stay awake the entire time. I watched him wince as they took the IV out. I’ve watched him be so fucking strong while I sat there and stared in awe. And then we walked into the hallway, and I saw the reality of cancer… all the patients… all the loss of life… and it hit me.” I take a breath, trying to calm the tears. “Things are never.. ever… going to be the same again.” I look him in the eyes, seeing the pain in them, and shake my head. “We have to be a strong, united front for him, Bray.” I glance at the elevator, then back at him. “He needs us.”
“Yea. I know,” he huffs. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there today.” He shakes his head and shoves his hands in his pockets. “I just… Shit, Al. I remember my mom going through this, and it’s not a good memory. I guess I just needed mind numbing.”
“Well it looks like you got that with Trixie.” I roll my eyes at his teenage boy behavior and he grunts.
“I should have been there. The minute I saw you in the hallway I knew I made a terrible choice. I should have been there with you today.”
“Should have… but you weren’t.” I shake my head and take a breath. “Listen… it’s over. I have to go out and grab food while he’s sleeping. You eat yet?”
“Nah. I’m good. Wanna let me in… I’ll stay here while you’re gone in case he needs anything.”
“Yea, sure. I’ll be right back.”
So I leave. I take a moment to collect myself, then I go out into the world that’s so cruel and unforgiving.
By the time I make it back it’s already dark outside and I walk into a dark apartment. Clicking the door shut, I set our dinner on the table and listen. The TV is on in the living room, so I walk in to see Braydon passed out on the sofa, beer still in hand. Laughing to myself, I grab the beer so it doesn’t fall, and in the process wake him up.
“Hey, sorry,” I whisper. “He’d kill you if you spilled this, though.” Setting the beer on the table, I glance to the hallway where I hear Lane’s footsteps coming down the hall.
“Hey,” his groggy voice makes Braydon stand and turn to see his friend coming down the dark hallway. Shit, I know he just started treatment today but he already looks different. Maybe that’s all in my head, though. Maybe I’m just projecting my feelings on him and that’s not going to fly. We can’t be weak in this.
“What’s going on?” He asks, watching Braydon and then flicking his gaze to me. If I didn’t know any better I would think that was a look of jealousy on his face, but I know Lane’s not like that. He’s never been like that with the three of us. I can hang out with either or both of them and neither cares.
“I brought back dinner. You need to eat, babe.” Walking to him, I wrap my arms around him and he groans and holds on to me, taking a deep breath at his face goes to my neck.
“I wanted you back in bed with me,” he whispers. “I missed you.”
“I needed to get us food. You need to eat and there’s nothing here. Come on while it’s hot.” I take his hand and walk into the kitchen with Braydon trailing behind us. I’ve never thought anything about it being the three of us, but the way that Braydon’s eyes flicked to mine and Lane’s joined hands had me thinking that maybe this is more awkward for him that I thought.
The night is spent just like any other night with the three of us. From banter to laughter to current LA gossip, the ‘c’ word isn’t brought up one time. By nine I’m a yawning mess, Braydon looks about ready to pass out, and Lane looks like he’s already sleeping. I know Bray wasn’t with us today, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t thinking about it. He’s always had his own way of coping with things. His mind was definitely on Lane and the chemo treatment, but he just deals with things differently. The look on his face earlier told me he’s not going to make that mistake again.
“I’m heading up, you two love birds,” Bray announces, standing from him chair. “Call or text… or break my door down… if you two need anything.” He looks at Lane, then gives me a look that tells me that he expects me to contact him if I need anything, then leaves us to ourselves.
“I think I’m going to head to bed too, Al,” Lane mumbles, standing up. “Thanks for today. I loved that you were there with me… wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. You made the impossible seem possible.”
“I wouldn’t have had it any other way, Lane. I love you. I’m here for you. Come on, let’s go to bed.”
“Oh,” he says, stopping in his tracks. “Um… you don’t have to… I mean… I’ll be ok
.”
What? He’s kicking me out? I can’t leave him alone tonight, what happens if he gets sick? Who’s going to be here to take care of him. Hell to the no, he’s not making me leave.
“I’m staying with you tonight, Lane.” I say as nicely as I can. I know he doesn’t like to show weakness… apparently none of us do… but he needs to know that he’s going to need help if something were to happen.
“Al, really. I’m ok. I’m just tired and want to rest. You haven’t slept in your apartment in days… don’t you think you need to get back and at least make sure it’s still standing? Plus, you’ve had a crazy long day too. A good night sleep is what we both need, then you can be back here first thing in the morning.”
I know he’s lying. I know he wants me here but he just doesn’t want me to see him in case he gets sick, but it still pisses me off. I thought we were past this. I thought we were older than this. He should know that it’s going to take more than that to get me out of his apartment tonight. I’m not willing to fight with him over this, but he just needs to understand that I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.
“I’m not leaving. I’ll sleep on the couch if anything, but I’m not going anywhere.” I cross my arms and bring back that stubborn, strong Alexis everyone keeps telling me about and glare at him. I will win this.
“You’re not sleeping on that couch, Al. Seriously. I’m fine. I love you. Go home and get good sleep.”
I don’t say anything, I don’t move… I just stand there. Arms crossed, stern face, and I watch him as he starts to chuckle.
“You’re not going anywhere, are you?’
“Nope.”
“And if I make you leave?”
“I’ll sleep on the other side of your door.”
He sighs and laughs, then says something under his breath. Rubbing his hands through his mussed hair, he shakes his head.
“Alright then. Let’s go to bed.”
I smile and let out a ‘whoop’ of victory. “Thank you,” I say, wrapping my arms around him and kissing him like I feel like I haven’t done in ages. It’s not fair of me, because I know he’s tired, but I need to touch him.
In any way I can.
His kiss deepens and his arms wrap around me, picking me up and letting me wrap my leg around him. I love that about him, that he’s able to pick me up without any hesitation and carry me around like it’s nothing. Savoring the moment as it is, but deep down knowing this isn’t going to be happening for much longer, my lips find his as he turns and walks down the hallway with me effortlessly in his arms.
Walking back to the bedroom, he shuts the door behind us as he walks us to the bed, kissing my neck and grabbing my ass as he sits on the edge of the bed.
“Your turn tonight, babe.”
Lane
She’s looking at me with this gleam in her eyes. I’m tired as fuck but the minute she kissed me it was all over and all I could think about was fucking her. I don’t have a ton of energy, but I can’t not fuck her. She’s so fucking beautiful and strong and it’s been too goddamned long since I’ve had her.
“Lay down,” she whispers, immediately helping me down and going for my belt buckle. Her hands swiftly and efficiently remove my clothes and I’m left with nothing while she’s fully dressed.
“That’s not fair, babe.” I reach up and start to take her shirt but she slaps my hands away.
“You said it’s my turn. Lie back and enjoy the show,” she whispers before nipping my bottom lip.
When she stands and starts to slowly sway, her hands go to the hem of her shirt and she slowly pulls it off, revealing a hot pink and black lace bra. Fuck. Then her hands go to her pants and before I know it she’s standing in front of me in matching panties and bra, slipping her hands down the front of her panties and moaning as her fingers push into her. I reach out to help, to touch, to feel… but she pushes me away again laughing and tsk-ing her tongue at me.
“Touch yourself if you want to touch something,” she says, grinning and flicking her gaze to my dick. My hard as fuck dick.
Groaning, I start stroking, watching her moan and huff as she fingers herself. Each stroke I get more and more frustrated that she’s not riding me yet. Every touch from her makes me harder and harder for this beautiful specimen in front of me. She slows and opens her eyes, cheeks flushed with arousal, and smiles as she watches me pump my fist harder and harder. Licking her lips, she crawls on top of me, but instead of sitting on me, her mouth goes for my dick and when she wraps her warm lips around me I about lose my load from her warmth and wetness.
Fuck!
“Al, I need to be inside you,” I gasp as she pops the tip of my dick out of her mouth and smiles up at me.
“I know,” she says, grinning and taking me back into her perfect fucking mouth and practically swallowing me she goes so deep.
Jesus Christ.
As soon as I feel the orgasm start to build I tense, not wanting to blow my load inside her mouth quite yet.
“What’s wrong, baby?” She asks, her hands wrapping around my dick and pumping gently as she lays kisses on the tip. Her eyes are watering from gagging on me and the sight alone makes me want to cum but I don’t. I need to be inside her.
“Get up,” I all but growl at her. If she’s not going to fuck me, I’m going to have to take measures into my own hands.
She giggles, something I’m not used to hearing from her but something I love all too much, and crawls up my body. She tries teasing me, letting my dick feel just how wet she is but not letting me go all the way, but when I flip her over and push into her suddenly, she gasps, then moans as I start fucking her harder than I’ve ever fucked her.
“Shit, Lane,” she groans as my fingers find her clit. I’ve always made soft love to her but when she’s been teasing me like this for so long all I can think about is fucking her brains out and leaving her a puddle of tingling hands and feet. “Ah fuck!” she yells, not even trying to keep quiet this time as I slam into her. Her walls clenching around me, I feel her already starting to come undone and growl, reaching down and grabbing her nipple and pinching.
Hard.
“Jesus Christ!” She bucks her hips up to me, I’m so fucking deep and her clit is rubbing on me with each thrust. Chuckling at her need for release, I pull out and go to my knees as quickly as I can and push one, then two fingers inside her.
Fuck she’s so wet and warm and tight.
“Oh my god, Lane,” she moans. I wrap my lips around her clit and suck and bite until I feel her orgasm starting, then don’t let up until she’s screaming my name. As soon as her release starts, I sit up and slam into her again, pressing on her clit with just enough pressure to continue my release as she rides out her own orgasm on my dick.
“Fuck, baby,” I growl, allowing her to milk me as I release into her. “Shit,” I hiss when her hands come down and grab my dick as I’m pulling out.
“No. Stay,” she whispers. “Jesus Christ, please stay.” She’s breathing heavily and I’m panting and she’s right. I shouldn’t go anywhere. We can clean up later. Right now I need to be right here. So I do as she asks and lay down, arms bracing myself on the sides of her head, and kissing her deeply.
“I love you, Al.”
“I love you just a little bit more, Lane.” I sigh and let her have this small victory, mostly because I’m suddenly too tired to even talk.
And that’s how we fall asleep. Wrapped and twisted in each other’s arms, full of love and tingling limbs.
***
“Mom! He’s sick again!” Tommy yells from the bathroom as I empty my lunch into the toilet for the third time today.
“Oh baby.” She walks in the bathroom and coddles me just like any mom should. Warm towel, popsicle, clean clothes.
She’s the best mom ever. Even when I’m bad she’s not mean to me. She’s awesome.
“Mommy my tummy hurts,” I cry, laying back down on the couch.”
***
Fuuuuuck.
Holy shit.
“Oh god,” I manage, stumbling out of bed. Oh my fuck.
“Lane?” Her worried voice comes from behind me as I move faster than I’ve ever moved before.
Rushing to the bathroom, I just make it to the toilet before emptying everything out of my stomach. Holy shit. Everything hurts and I can’t get off the fucking floor. What the fuck? This isn’t supposed to happen this fast!
My limbs don’t want to work without hurting, my stomach is rolling and here we go again. Puking has never been my strong suit. I don’t think it’s anyone’s strong suit, but I fucking hate it. After two rounds of getting sick and sweating like I just ran a few miles, I prop myself against the bathroom wall and try to catch my breath. I seriously feel like my stomach is on fire and I can’t get off this floor.
This is it. This is where I’ll be if anyone needs me. Right here, because I can’t fucking get up.
“You ok in there?” Her voice is a whisper but I hear her. I can’t see her, but she’s out there.
“Where are you?” I manage, my throat raw. “I need some water,” I rasp, hating how I feel so useless right now but not really having enough in me to care or fight it. I just want to lie here and die.
Holy shit.
“I know.” She appears in the doorway with a glass of water for me and a cool rag, gently smiling that courageous smile. “Can I help you up?”
I nod, not wanting to use my voice because it hurts too fucking bad, she slowly helps me up and waits as I regain my balance. I can’t believe this is really happening. I felt so good earlier. Refreshed after my nap, the sex was fantastic, I really thought tonight was going to be a good night. Now I’ve puked my guts out and feel like I’m spinning and on fire at the same time. Once I’ve regained balance I take a drink of water, sipping it slowly as Alexis watches me intently.
“You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, Lane,” she whispers, her hand coming to my cheek.
I turn away from her because I know I look like shit and she doesn’t need to be touching that close to my mouth right now, but she’s adamant that she wants her hands on me and turns my face back to look at her.