A Beautiful Song: A Musical Soul Story

by Michael Cantwell

  At the end of the holiday break, Kevin gave me call and could barely contain his excitement. I don’t think I had ever heard him that happy about anything. After he calmed down, I think I was the one who could not breathe. There was going to be an outdoor concert at the end of March at the local race track. It would be an all day show. It would be made up of mostly local bands, but the headliner was a new band from the Jersey shore area called Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. We had been hearing reports they were about to break out big time and had released their first album.

  Kevin’s dad was a big time lawyer in town and they were one of the chief sponsors of the event. We were given a spot to play for thirty minutes early in the day. We knew we had to learn a couple of new songs for the event. It would be imperative to be at our best. It was also yet another lesson for me in who you know as opposed to what you know. When I told a few friends of mine what happened they didn’t say congrats and good luck, they only wanted to know if I could get them free tickets and an autograph from Bruce. I sarcastically thanked them for their support.

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  Chapter 4

  The last semester of my high school life was about to begin. I took a look back briefly and wondered where it had all gone. I had a scant few friends. I was not going to miss many classmates. Our band was asked to play at so many parties on weekends now, that I really was starting to feel used as a person. Most of these classmates would not give me the time of day, except for when they went to Kevin thinking we would play their party for free. I felt I was a generous person, but I really fought with Kevin about playing parties for free. He was using it for his stature amongst our classmates thinking he was going to win some kind of most popular award at the end of the year.

  Brian didn’t even go to our school and grumbled more than I did so we refused to play any more free parties. Debby was caught in the middle. Most of those who asked were her friends too, but I was now looking at this as a serious band. They just wanted to have fun. So for once I played politics within the band. I forced a band vote and the tally was three versus two to no longer play for free. I really only had to convince Sticks to vote my way since I knew Brian’s vote was in my back pocket. Sticks went along once his dad told him he had to start paying for half of his lessons. The local CYO seemed to be rotating three local bands now, so we only played there once every three months.

  Sometimes when you live a good life, you are rewarded in ways you are not expecting at all. I have to admit the good Lord must have been watching out for me in the spring of 1973. The band played a set in front of over one thousand people early in the day at the outdoor festival. The band was paid two hundred dollars, our largest pay day ever. We also got to sit back stage to watch the E Street Band play a three hour show later that night in front of eight thousand people. It was my first rock and roll concert and my band was a part of it!

  The following Monday I got a call from some guy at the Juilliard School in New York City. He told me I might be a good candidate for their school. At this point I was still thinking of majoring in business, but this was now the second time I was approached for a music scholarship. I knew I had progressed nicely over the years, but with Gordy keeping me humbled, I never really thought much about a real career in music. I had to rethink my position. When I told my parents I wanted to venture to New York City for the interview, my mom was thrilled, but my dad as very skeptical. I knew little to nothing about Julliard, but Gordy convinced me I would be crazy not to check it out.

  A couple of weeks later, I took the train with Debby and Kevin to spend the day in the city and go for my interview. When I asked how I got the interview, I was told one of the teachers at Julliard was in the crowd at the outdoor show and was impressed with my playing. I think I did well in the interview. I played a couple of songs for him. We talked for a long time about my commitment to being a good person and my life as a Christian. He seemed more interested in that than he did in my playing ability. I also discovered that Skunk was an alumnus of the school. Mr. Dobbs, who was interviewing me, was an old classmate of his. In fact they had kept in touch, and he called Skunk while I was in the room. Skunk told him I would be a great candidate for the school and was upset that he didn’t think of recommending me himself. I will admit I had not seen Skunk in about year now. His band was getting very popular and he spent the past three months touring Europe. After the interview we spent the rest of the day bouncing around the city and I was sold on wanting to be there. I had never been to a place that seemed so alive.

  Sure enough, a week later I got a letter not only letting me know I had been accepted to Julliard, but they would offer me a discount on tuition. My mom had to convince my dad that music was my calling in life. He thought I was pretty good at my music, but he never saw it as something I could make a career out of “to pay the bills”, as he said. I called Mr. Dobbs and accepted. I was enrolled in college and was playing music. I never expected to be a college student playing music. Debby and Kevin were both set as well in going to college in Philly. I didn’t think they would ever separate too much. I had learned over time that they were not a couple, but were more like brother and sister.

  Graduation could not come fast enough. I made my dad a promise I would do my best to make the honor roll and finish strong. I made it again by the skin of my teeth, mostly because I knew that meant a lot to him. It eased his pain with me not going to school for business. I did have someone from Julliard call him, and assure him that I had to take certain math and English classes as well as some business classes to graduate.

  I played with the church band through the Easter service but decided it was time to leave that group. It had been really fun playing with them. It had grown to a nine piece band over the years. The Saturday group started to crumble ever since we stopped playing for free. It really put a distance between us. Plus Randy started to withdraw from the band for some reason. He was late for practice many times which was very unlike him. He was the one who kept us focused during practice time, but it was obvious the outdoor show would be our biggest moment by far. To keep the friendships in order the band played a free show for a graduation party of a close friend of Kevin and Debby. I paid Brian without the other three knowing about it, or Brian was not going to show up. He said it was a matter of principle and I really could not blame him, so I paid him. I really didn’t like band politics at all. But since I was the one who sold them on not playing for free, it was hard to argue with his point of view. We did play a couple of other graduation parties, but were paid at least a partial fee. I think we could have charged more, but I was not going to press Kevin at that point. It was obvious we would soon be finished as a band. I didn’t want to leave with bad memories. I guess it was appropriate that our last performance was a graduation party.

  Now that high school was in my rear view mirror, and I was no longer in any bands, I had time to practice at least six hours a day with my new guitar. My grandmother shocked me by presenting me with a Martin D-28 as a graduation gift. Gordy had found one that someone was returning since his spoiled rotten kid would not practice. It had been scratched up a bit, but I didn’t care. It had a wonderful sound to it. I played that guitar for hours and hours every day. I continued to give lessons to the young kids at the store to help pay my future college tuition.

  I knew it was going to be hard to leave the area, but in truth it was only a two hour train ride home. I figured I would be home often enough to satisfy my mom. I did spend more time with some friends from the neighborhood along with Debby over the summer. We ended up taking the train to the new Veterans Stadium to see a couple of Phillies games. Gordy surprised me with a trip to see Elvis Presley in concert. I got to meet Elvis back stage after the show. Elvis acted like he was really happy to see Gordy. I kept asking Gordy all the way home how he knew Elvis. All he would say was that “Elvis and I crossed paths a few times over the years. He is a generous man with his resources and I will always consider him a friend.” He
mumbled that it had been “too many years.” Elvis looked tired to me, but it was enjoyable to see a living legend perform.

  The summer ended with a few days down at the beach in Wildwood, New Jersey. Kevin talked his buddy that we did the free graduation party for, into letting us crash at his parent’s beach house for a few days. Debby was not allowed since her dad was concerned it was all guys. Brian showed up one day, but left the next morning saying “I have business to take care of back home.” He had become withdrawn from the rest of us, and he didn’t look good at all to me. He was very pale and had lost some weight. For some reason one of the guys was happy to see Brian. They spent a few hours somewhere alone while we hit the beach. I had my suspicions, but maybe I didn’t want to know the truth. I had learned over the years with my neighborhood friends that when they said “You don’t want to know”, I really didn’t want to know. Despite my age I really was still very naive about certain things. I liked it that way. Gordy and my dad both told me to walk away when I was not feeling right about a situation. I did my best to abide by that advice. I was not totally ignorant to drugs. I mean I did see some of it at the outdoor show, and at the Elvis concert. I also heard one the of Kerns brothers telling someone he was going to make someone pay for selling him five dollars worth of oregano. I was not really sure why he was buying oregano, but I assumed it’s not what he thought he was really buying by his tone.

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  Chapter 5

  Julliard was the most amazing place for a musician. I knew within the first week that I had made the right decision. My roommate was this amazing keyboard player from Ohio. Scott Karstens wrote songs and had played in a jazz band back home. His goal was to return home to teach kids the keyboards and learn to appreciate music. Neither of his parents had an ounce of musical talent, but sacrificed over and over driving him to recitals and performances for years. All of my instructors were amazing musicians. I really felt like I belonged here, even though everyone here was every bit as good as I was or better as a musician. I knew quickly this was my new home.

  I didn’t go home for the first month until my mom threatened to stop paying my bills. I was having so much fun meeting students from not only the United States, but from as far away as China. I sent a letter to Debby hoping she would be home the same weekend. I was missing her as much as anyone from home, other than my family. Every weekend was filled with trips to see bands play, or just hanging out with my new friends at school. Scott and I started to write some songs together on weekends.

  I finally made it home. After seeing my family including my grandmother, I went over to see Gordy on Saturday. I also got to meet up with Debby and Kevin, who both came home for the weekend. It was not hard to find Debby at home, since she was home every other weekend. Kevin drove over and picked her up after classes on Friday. I had not spoken to either of them since school started, even though I did send Debby a letter earlier that week. I really was so absorbed in what I was doing at school, I didn’t have time to write home, or to friends. I did call my mom and dad every Sunday to keep them from being too upset. Gordy was happy to see me. He told me he had a new student who had some talent. I am sure however, the kid could not sweep the floor as well as I did.

  The first semester went by like a speeding bullet. Gordy had given me a solid foundation in music theory, but I was stretched to really thinking beyond the patterns that I had fallen into over the past few years. All I could keep thinking about was the time Skunk’s band had come over and showed me there was so much more to music than the major scales. Scott and I started to write very moody songs using minor scales almost entirely. Gordy taught me all those scales long ago, but since I was playing mostly rock and roll, I didn’t need them too often. I was now playing different types of music, partly because of Scott’s influences, and partly because of what I had to do for my school work.

  I spent the entire holiday break catching up with my family, and hanging out at the shop with Gordy. I went to see my grandmother almost daily since I could tell she had grown frail. “Stu, you will always be my beautiful grandson. One day soon you will be challenged to hold true to your core principals. Never forget who you are in life and be true to yourself. Make that promise to me Stu.”

  “I will grandma. You don’t have anything to worry about. I’m loving school and staying away from any trouble.”

  “Stu, you listen to me and listen hard. One day the sharks will circle you. That will be the day you will find out if you are the bait, or the fisherman. Remember my words my dear boy, now tell me all about the girls up there.”

  My grandmother always had a knack for telling the future of others. For some odd reason many times she was right. People thought she was an old lady suffering from dementia, but I knew better. She had come here from Germany with her brother and nothing in her pocket but lint. By the time she retired, she owned a string of convenience stores she started in the area with my grandfather. He had passed away when I was quite young, but my grandmother ran those stores well into her late sixties. She finally sold them to a national chain who wanted market share in our area. She was a very shrewd business lady. I remember one time when I was maybe 8 years old, my mom and I stopped in one of the stores to see her. She was tearing into some poor salesman because he had promised a shipment of a product earlier in the week. I got the impression it was a new product and she felt cheated by the guy. I am sure he left knowing he had better not come back without what he had promised on his next visit. The moment he left, my grandma turned to me and gave me a giant smile and hug like an entirely different person. She was tough as nails, and one of the most disciplined people I knew. She had seen it all in her life. So when she tried to offer a life lesson, I listened, even if she didn’t think I did. I had a sinking feeling that she had given me her last lesson. She seemed so adamant about me paying attention one last time.

  Father Daniel stopped me after Christmas mass. “Stu, I have been visiting with some of my elderly parishioners at the retirement home down the street. I would consider it a personal favor if you would stop by with me and play a few songs. And bring Debby with you, if that’s possible. Everyone there is very excited. I told them you would be there later in the week. Thanks Stu, I knew I could count on you.” He smiled and walked away.

  Debby and I played there three times over the holidays. We were looking for an excuse to play together and this was the perfect venue since we could work on different songs. If we goofed up, I was not sure how many could actually hear us anyway. But I did notice Debby’s vocal range had improved. When I asked her about it, she told me that she had found a chorus group near her college and was singing with them twice a week. “One of the singers in our group was a Broadway singer for many years. She has taken a special interest in me and has taught me some exercises to strengthen my vocal chords.” It was nice to see she was still singing while away at college.

  At the end of the holiday break, I was at Gordy’s shop when Skunk wandered in. It had been well over a year since I had seen him. He had an air of success about his now. He drove a new sports car and his band Dr. Wu had hit the big time. Their fourth album went platinum with four top ten hits on it. Previously the band only had two top forty hits until this album. They were never receiving airplay on all the big radio stations like WNEW in New York and WMMR in Philly. Since the band members were all from the New York area, they had been far more popular in New York than they were across the country. That all changed with the new release. They were now huge hits in Japan. Skunk told me they had just come back from playing seven sold out shows in Japan. He told me that the leader of his band Don Brecker didn’t like that they could not really get the sound from a concert that they could in a studio so they were going to take a long break from touring and only concentrate on making good sounding albums now. Skunk wanted to tour, he thrived with a live audience, but said they had been on the road for almost eighteen months in a row, and could use the break. He said they had one last show at Madison
Square Garden and wanted to know if Gordy and I would be his guests back stage. I gobbled my two passes, but Gordy refused to attend. “I’m sorry Skunk, I am booked solid with lessons that day. I can’t possibly leave the shop. Maybe next time, but thanks for the offer my friend.”

  Skunk and I both knew that was total nonsense, but I grabbed all four passes. I took a stab at getting Gordy to change his mind but mumbled something about, “I’m at peace with this life and I no longer want to return to that life.” I told him it was a 2 hour show not a lifetime. I didn’t think he would ever appreciate my humor.

  Back at school I was getting more and more immersed into song writing. I learned a great deal about the techniques of how to build a song from the class I had during that semester. My instructor had actually written songs for some singing groups in the mid sixties. That instantly gave him credibility to me when he spoke. With each passing day, I was becoming more and more convinced that music was now my life’s work and passion. Middle management in some department store was never going to be my goal. I think my dad recognized that fact over the break, but he pretended not to notice. I was getting very good grades, and as promised I was taking the basic life skills classes along with music oriented classes. My dad really could not complain. Scott and I wrote twenty five songs that semester together, ranging from very bad to not quite as bad.

  Towards the end of January, we went to Madison Square Garden to see Dr. Wu perform live. We were led down a long hallway and onto a small platform back stage where we could not see the entire stage, but I could see Skunk very well. Scott and his girlfriend who was a drama student at school, tagged along with me. I called her his “Drama Queen” because everything always had to be about her. I really didn’t like her at all. I don’t know what he saw in her, other than I will admit she was a very beautiful girl.