by Sybil Smith
She finally places all 297 decorative pillows from her bed onto a chair in the corner and starts to crawl in. After realizing I'm not there beside her, she looks over at me and tilts her head.
"Aren't you going to get in bed?"
"Uh…yeah."
I let my nerves get the best of me as I walk over to the bed. But, it doesn't last very long because now Harper has a case of the jitterbugs. As soon as flip off the light and get under the covers, she's lying flat on her back stiff as a board. I'm guessing she just remembered how I don't like to be touched and doesn't want to bump into me in her sleep. After all of five seconds of this, I decide that's definitely not how I want to sleep tonight.
"Come here."
I pull her in to where she's lying on her side, facing me. Her arms are pulled up to her chest between us so she won't touch my back, but I pull her in as tight as I can anyway. There's just something about feeling her against me and being able to smell that scent that is very uniquely Harper. I vaguely wonder if she makes sure she smells that good so she'll never smell like the police department. That wouldn't be very sexy. But, then I realize that I'd still be cuddled up to her anyway. And that's massive because I have never been one to cuddle, before or after the ordeal.
I feel her warm breath against my neck slow down and even out as I trace abstract designs across her back. I can tell she's about to be asleep and it's three fucking thirty in the morning, but there's been something that's been nagging at me all night so I've gotta ask her before she's out.
"Harper?"
"Hmm." I feel her sleepy, muffled response vibrate against my chest.
"Why did you go to a bar tonight, anyway? I thought you were at your parents' dinner thing." I know she wouldn’t lie, so if she said she was going to a dinner, then that's where she was going. So something must've happened to make her leave and end up in a piece of shit bar.
I feel her pull in closer and shake her forehead against me. I feel like I maybe shouldn't have asked since it might upset her, but then I realize that I need to know so I can make her happy.
"Harper, tell me." My voice is barely a whisper. I want her to know she can tell me anything. That I'm here for her, just like I said I would be. She doesn't pull back, so I have to strain to make out her muffled response.
"My parents don't particularly agree with my lifestyle. My father believes women of our…status should only be seen and not heard." She pauses but I know there's more so I say nothing.
"I am a failure in their eyes. Not only am I not married yet, but I also have a girlfriend and a job my father feels is much less than desirable."
I tense up. Harper Rose just called me her girlfriend. Girlfriend. Girl fucking friend. I haven't been called anyone's girlfriend in at least five years. It's not something I've been able to do. I'm too messed up, too controlling, too detached to allow myself to open up to someone like that. Many have tried since him, but I've never let myself be that for them. I've taken what I've needed and then kicked them to the curb once I was done. It sounds cruel. Heartless, even. But, after what happened to me…that's exactly what I had become. Not anymore, though. Harper's changing me. Making me better. So, if she wants to call me her girlfriend, I'll be damned if anyone tries to stop her. I know I'm grinning like a fool, but Harper can't see it. She's taken my silence as a bad thing even though it's definitely not a bad thing.
"Roma, I…I didn't mean to presume. It's just that, well, based on—"
"Harper…"
"The amount of time we spend together—"
"Harper!" I start laughing as I finally cutoff her rambling. It takes me a few seconds to finally calm down to where I can speak. It's too fucking cute how nervous she is right now.
"Harper, it's okay. You're right."
"I'm right?"
"Yeah. I'm your girlfriend."
I can feel her smile against my chest and her breathing even out again as she slowly drifts off to sleep. It's a good thing, because we'll need plenty of sleep for what I have just decided to do with her tomorrow. It might be the best or the fucking worst plan I've ever had.
Chapter 10
Definitely the worst. I told Harper to be ready at 5; it's 5:33 and I'm still sitting here watching as she walks out of her closet displaying different dresses she could wear. We are already on outfit number twelve with no end in sight. I don't see why she can't just fucking pick one already, she looks fucking great in all of them. She finally steps out in a purpleish dress—that I'm sure she would describe as plum or some other weird as hell name—and I'm tired of waiting. I'm glad I told her to be ready an hour early or else we'll be late. And I hate being late.
"Harper, you look great."
She furrows her brow at me."You've said that about every single item I've shown you."
I exasperatedly roll my eyes. "Because it's true, Harper. Come on, we're gonna be late." Now she rolls her eyes as she turns back around to look in a mirror.
"Roma, this would be much easier to decide if you would at least tell me where we are going." She mumbled it. Honest to God, mumbled. I never thought I'd see the day where Harper Rose mumbled.
I guess she finally decides she looks good—like I told her she did a thousand times—because she finally puts on a pair of ridiculously sexy heels that make me wonder if I should've just told her to wear a trash bag. Then I realize she'd still look good. Maybe bringing her when she looks as good as this isn't such a good idea. Too fucking late now.
…
Twenty minutes later, we pull up outside my parent's house. We've had Saturday dinners since before I could remember; I just haven't come around in the past couple of years. Mom brings up stories of before and then everyone remembers just how much I've fucking changed. And I definitely haven't brought anyone around since that whole incident with him. No one has been important enough to bring around.
Mom doesn't bug me like she used to about it though; she's backed off just so I'll come around. Even if it is only once in a blue moon. I'm kind of nervous about bringing Harper just for the lone fact that she will see the person that I used to be and realize that she's getting shortchanged with the person I am now. But I look over at her and she's twirling that damn ring around her finger so I know she's nervous, too. Looks like we're in this together. She slowly turns her head to face me.
"Roma, I'm not quite sure I understand." I give her the best smile I can muster, even though my insides feel like I'm about to puke up barbed wire.
"I just figured that since you don't quite have the…best family life, that I could maybe let you get to know mine." I try to say what I'm thinking about her shitty ass family without upsetting her and since she's smiling now too, I guess I did alright. I give her a real Roma Raine smile now.
"And I guess I'm kinda stuck with you being my girlfriend now, too." Her smile kind of falters and I remember I'm speaking to Captain Oblivious when it comes to sarcasm.
"Relax, I'm kidding." I lean over and give her a kiss just so she doesn't doubt me. It might only be the second time I've ever given her one, but I already know I'll never get tired of it. Or the look in her eyes afterward. It's like I'm her personal savior. Hell, for all I know, I might be 'cause she's sure as hell turning out to be mine.
"Okay. Let's go."
I wrap my arm around her waist as we walk up the front steps to the door. I hesitate for the smallest fucking moment ever, but it doesn't matter. Mom opens the door before I even have time to knock. The look on her face tells me this is going to be a long fucking night.
"Roma! Are you just gonna stand out there all night?" She pauses and looks over at Harper. I know what's coming. "You didn't tell me your girlfriend was so pretty!" She swats me in the arm with a dish towel before she grabs Harper and all but jerks her in the door.
I hear her flapping her jaws all the way down the hall about how pretty Harper is and how I should've brought her around sooner. Of course I know she's fucking pretty. But there’s a reason I didn’t bring her around sooner. I�
�m fucked up—but my family is certified nuts.
When we get to the dining room, Mom introduces Harper to my brother Jarrod, Jarrod's bimbo of the week, and our youngest sister Francis. I'm kinda glad Jarrod brought one of his floozies, just so he won't flirt with Harper very much. I know that not flirting with her at all is kinda out of the question, so I've already steeled myself towards what he will probably say.
Francis, a mini-me in every right, sits in my dad’s former seat. She’s young, barely 22, but her face is steeled towards the world. She knows pain. With what happened to me, dad leaving us, and the bullies who got to her every day in school. She was too thin, too tall, too smart and too gay. They tried to bring her down in every way. But I’m damn proud of her. I was then and I was now. She’s smart and beautiful, and I know what kind of kindness lives inside her. I kiss her head as I pass her seat. She grins, and I know we’re good despite how long it’s been since I came over.
Everyone is already sitting at the table waiting on us—I knew we'd be late—so I pull Harper's chair out for her and sit down next to her. Jarrod and his blonde are across from us, Francis beside me, and Harper beside my mother—poor thing.
Mom starts to pass around one of the five million dishes on the table before Jarrod speaks up, causing her to pause.
"What, we aren't going to say grace?"
I feel my face heat up as I give him a look that would surely kill the devil. He knows that we don't fucking say grace while I'm here because I don't like anyone touching my hands. He's just trying to look cute for his flavor of the week and embarrass the hell out of me in front of Harper. Too bad his dumbass girl has no idea what's going on and Harper already knows about my aversion to hand touching, so he just ends up looking like a jackass.
Francis ends our glaring contest by reaching over and smacking his arm. “Don’t be an ass, Jarrod. We have company."
I always knew Francis was my favorite. Ma doesn't even chime in about Francis's language, either. She's just glad I'm actually here for once. After everyone has their plates loaded up as high as Mount Everest—besides Harper who doesn't have a single thing touching each other on her plate—Mom decides it's time to play her game of '21 questions towards the pretty guests in our house' and starts her inquisition. I knew it would come to this. I don't even care about Jarrod's Miss Big Tits in the corner, I only hope Harper can fend for herself.
"So, Harper, what do you do for a living?" Oh God. She hates detective talk at the table, I can only imagine what she'll say to this.
"I'm a Lieutenant," she says. “I actually just started working across the hall from Roma a few months ago.”
Ma's eyes light up and I can tell she has no fucking idea what that means. "Oh! That sounds lovely, dear. You seem so young for such a title. "
I stifle a laugh and catch Francis doing the same. Then Jarrod pipes up and I want to stab him in the face.
"What about my girlfriend?”
Fucking Jarrod. He's so jealous that I brought home a Certified Ten and he has little Miss Thang with a piece of spinach stuck in her teeth. I'd be jealous if I were him, too. I don't even have to worry about Harper now, though 'cause she's totally turned it around to make herself sound like the fucking dead whisperer and Mom is soaking up every word.
"Well, that is fascinating, Harper," she pauses just long enough to look over at me, "You better keep her around, Romie. Looks like she’ll help solve your caseload."
"Don't call me Romie, Mom." But, of course, she ignores me and looks over to Jarrod's girl who is using her phone screen as a mirror as she tries to dig out that huge fucking piece of spinach that's been staring me in the face for the past twenty minutes.
"And what about you, Claire?" Apparently, she has a name. And she's about to speak for the first fucking time tonight. Definitely interested in where this is going.
"I'm an Oncologist, Mrs. Raine." Some fucking detective I am. I sure as hell didn't see that coming. And judging by everyone's faces, no one else did either.
"You're not the only one that can bring home a nice piece, Roma." Jarrod gives his 'suck on that' smirk and winks. Mom’s pretty much had enough of his bullshit now, I can tell. It's like her eyes are on fucking fire.
"Jarrod Anthony Raine, you know not to talk about guests like that in my house.” She gives a glare that puts my worst to fucking shame. He’s always been the black sheep of our family. And knowing how I am—that’s saying something. He even somehow managed to get worse when our father left—which is almost fucking sad considering Jarrod turns 28 this year.
I can see Jarrod swallow from across the table. Guiltily, he gets up and starts to clear the table, not-so-dumb-bimbo in tow. Harper starts to get up to help but I just put my hand on her leg so she won't.
"We can get it, Harper," Francis pipes up as she starts carrying stuff to the kitchen. Mom, Harper, and I sit at the table for an awkward beat until Mom asks something that I really wish she hadn't.
"Are you bringing Harper on our trip, Romie?" Damnit. I wasn't planning on it. No one needs to suffer through a dumbass camping trip tradition. Especially not Harper. I'm pretty sure she doesn't even own a regular pair of shoes. I start nervously scratching my head.
"I, uh…hadn't exactly had a chance to bring it up to her yet." I look over at Harper, giving a sheepish grin. She really doesn't need to be drug into this.
"Roma! You have to bring her. She'll love it!"
Mom's beaming now. I'd hate to fucking disappoint her, so now I have to drag Harper into this. I glance over at Harper and she's looking at me, expectantly.
"We have this overnight camping thing every year…It's in two weeks. If you'd like to go." I look back over at Harper expecting this horrified look on her face, but she's smiling so bright I swear you could see it from the moon.
"Of course I'd like to go, Roma. I've never been camping before." Now Mom is practically dancing in her seat. I haven't seen her so happy in a really, really long time.
"That settles it, then. Don't let Roma try to talk you out of it." Mom wags her finger at me as she says the last sentence. She knows me all too well. I try to get out of this fucking thing every single year. It never works.
“I won't. Give me a break." I scowl at her. She only scowls back harder.
"I know you better than that, Roma—"
"No, don't even." I cut her off before she gets that God awful middle name out of her mouth. Harper definitely doesn't need to know that.
After everything is cleaned up, I decide Harper's had enough Raine fun for the night and we go to leave. Right before we walk out the door, I hear Jarrod's annoying as fuck voice right next to us.
"If you decide you want a real Raine, just let me know." No one else is around so I almost turn around and punch him in his prick ass face. But I've already got a broken hand so that wouldn't go over very well. And I decided that I wouldn't do that in front of Harper ever again unless I absolutely had to.
I don't even dignify him with a response. He starts laughing and walks back to the living room. I just lead Harper out the door. Once outside, I turn and push her up against the house, letting jealousy get the best of me. I want her to know she's mine. And only mine.
I push my body flush against hers, pressing my lips on hers. She opens her mouth and I push my tongue in, tasting the wine she drank on her lips. She finally gets over her initial shock and moves her lips and tongue with mine. The way her mouth moves so perfectly, so fluidly against mine sends goosebumps up my arms. Her hands wind in my hair, pulling me closer. For once, I actually don't fucking care that she's taking a little bit of control. Her breathing turns into a sigh, then into a moan. I started this to let her know she's mine, but now it's kind of like she's claiming me as hers. I feel her struggle to keep from panting as her body tries to start grinding against me. Involuntary or not, it's fucking sexy.
I pull back with her bottom lip between my teeth, relishing the moment when I feel it slowly slide out from between them. I look in her eyes and see
exactly what I know mine must look like. She's biting on her bottom lip and her chest is heaving as she tries to catch her breath. We have to go before I start to fucking her on my front porch. I wouldn't put myself above trying that with how fucking turned on I am right now.
"Let's go."
She nods and all but runs to the car. Tonight's gonna be something else. I can already tell.
Chapter 11
There's no time to waste, the anticipation of the ride over was almost unbearable. I barely wait for the door to close before I push Harper up against it. I press my mouth against hers, sliding my tongue across her lip before pushing it inside. She still tastes just as good, if not better, than before. She tangles her hands in my hair, urging me closer. I move my mouth down to her neck and start licking and biting at it, loving the moans falling from her lips. I don't even care if I leave a mark. It'll only remind her that she's mine and no one else's.
I feel her hands shift down to the front of my shirt and I know she's about to unbutton it. I don't want that. Not before I tell her what I can and can't do, courtesy of him. So instead, I just drop down to my knees, pushing her dress up around her waist as I go. Her hands automatically resume their spot in my hair as I slowly trail her panties down her legs. I throw them somewhere across the room and lift her leg up across my arm, my hand pushing her hips back against the door. I trail my other hand slowly up her leg, causing her to try and push against my hand to get her hips down closer to me. I finally rest my hand on her thigh as I move my mouth in to her. She's so wet that I can see it in the dim lighting. It's the best fucking thing I've ever seen in my entire life. And right then my jealousy flies right out the fucking window as I remember that she's not something I can control, not something that I can claim. She's so much more than that. I want to cherish every second of this and show her that this is all about her and not my need to own her.