Photo Finished

by Laura Childs

  Way in back, close to where she’d gone in through the broken window two nights earlier, she found a dark-colored BMW hunkered down. Its nose was pointed into a grove of scrub brush, almost as though the owner had been trying to hide it.

  Does this car belong to Monroe Payne?

  Carmela ventured over and put a hand on the hood of the car. The metal was still warm to the touch.

  Damn straight it’s his car. Has to be.

  Carmela crept over to the broken window and peered in. Somewhere, toward the front, she thought, a dim light had been turned on.

  Is Monroe Payne in there with Sweetmomma Pam? Only one way to find out.

  Grasping the broken window, Carmela pulled at it. The sheer weight and bulk stunned her for a moment, then she was able to ease it down onto the ground. Hiking her skirt up above her knees, Carmela eased herself in through the window.

  The interior of the shrimp-processing plant was just as dark and dank and dusty as Carmela remembered it. But this time, with her memory to guide her, Carmela was better able to navigate her way through the jumble of machinery and conveyer belts. And, as she edged closer to the giant cooker pot, she knew her hunch had been right. Someone was moving about inside one of the old blast freezers. One of the heavy metal doors was standing partially open, and she could see the gleam of a flashlight as light bounced off the freezer’s interior walls.

  Darn. I saw those blast freezers before, but didn’t bother to look inside. Whatever’s in there must be pretty darn valuable if Monroe Payne saw fit to chase all the way over here.

  Carmela crouched down behind the old cooker as murmurs from inside one of the blast freezers grew louder. She tried to still her breathing and, at the same time, cock her head at an optimal angle to catch what was being said.

  At first she heard just fragments of words, but then she was able to make out a high-pitched, pleading voice.

  Sweetmomma Pam!

  Sweetmomma’s Pam’s voice was followed by a deep, angry voice.

  Monroe Payne.

  But what’s he up to? wondered Carmela.

  She didn’t have to wait long. Monroe backed out of the blast freezer, a clutch of oil paintings in his arms, precariously balancing his flashlight. With his right shoulder, he began to muscle the heavy metal door closed on Sweetmomma Pam, obviously intending to trap her inside.

  All the while, Sweetmomma Pam clawed frantically at the door. “Please!” she moaned. “Don’t leave me in here!”

  That was enough for Carmela. She stood up from behind the cooker and shouted loudly at Monroe, “Back off, buster! Leave her alone!”

  Startled, Monroe whirled toward her, dropping his arm-load of paintings. “What the…?” he called out, then his hand snaked inside his clothing.

  Carmela sank down behind the cooker just as he fired and a bullet plinked off the rim of the giant metal cauldron.

  At that exact moment, the front door crashed open and Lt. Edgar Babcock hurled himself in, landing in a very credible combat stance. He leveled his pistol directly at Monroe. “Drop it!” he shouted.

  “Shoot him!” yelled Shamus, who stumbled in directly behind Lieutenant Babcock, wielding an enormous flashlight. There was a scuffle of feet on the wooden landing outside and then Quigg Brevard and Chef Ricardo also appeared.

  “Watch out, everybody!” screamed Carmela. “He’s got a gun!”

  “Back off!” yelled Monroe. In one swift move he reached through the door and grabbed Sweetmomma Pam by the arm, pulling her toward him. Now his gun was pointed directly at her heart, even as his eyes flashed nervously toward Lieutenant Babcock.

  Carmela grimaced. When Monroe had hauled Sweetmomma Pam out roughly, the poor dear’s mask had slipped down over her face. She’s probably scared clean out of her mind, worried Carmela. And please, dear Lord, don’t let Lieutenant Babcock surrender his weapon. Under any circumstances.

  “Just everybody back off or the old lady gets it!” With Sweetmomma Pam in his grasp, Monroe Payne was suddenly a lot more confident.

  Trying to gauge the situation, Lieutenant Babcock lowered his gun slightly. “Okay now,” he said in a cool, reasonable voice, “let’s nobody panic. We can work things out.”

  “You can get out!” snarled Monroe, angered by the glut of people who had suddenly appeared at the deserted storage building. He stared coldly at Lieutenant Babcock. “Put the gun down.” Spitting out each word hard, Monroe meant his order to be obeyed.

  Lieutenant Babcock lowered his gun to his side.

  Damn, thought Carmela.

  “Ten o’clock!” boomed a tinny, mechanical voice.

  Startled, not knowing where yet another strange voice was coming from, Monroe jerked his head wildly just as Sweetmomma Pam turned toward him. The sharp beak of her mask caught him squarely in his right eye.

  “My eye!” he screamed.

  Howling with pain, Monroe clutched at his face and fumbled his gun. Seconds later, it clattered noisily on the wood-planked floor.

  “Rush him!” yelled Shamus.

  “No!” screamed Lieutenant Babcock. “Stay back!” Chef Ricardo, never at a loss for action, grabbed one of the rusty knives from the old guillotine table and tossed it. It whooshed through the air, then hit with a loud thwack, remarkably pinning the fold of red fabric that contained Monroe Payne’s upraised arm to the wall.

  Everyone gasped. It was a stunt worthy of an Indiana Jones movie.

  “Jeez,” marveled Quigg, “you hit him.”

  “I meant to,” said Chef Ricardo, pleased with what had to be a lucky, once-in-a-lifetime throw.

  Lieutenant Babcock scrambled for the dropped gun as Monroe let loose with a second fearsome shriek that would’ve done a wounded animal proud.

  “Yeoow!” he screamed. “I’ve been stabbed!”

  Men, thought Carmela as she rushed forward and swept Sweetmomma Pam into her arms. Always with the theatrics.

  “Get a doctor!” Monroe ’s outraged screams had turned to shouts and angry whimpers now. He stared fiercely at Carmela as she led Sweetmomma Pam a safe distance away, even as he held a trembling hand to his injured eye. “She attacked me with her beak!” he snarled. “Pecked me like a nasty bird from an Alfred Hitchcock movie!”

  “Shut up,” barked Lieutenant Babcock as he wrested the knife from the fabric that pinned Monroe Payne to the wall, then tossed it to the floor out of reach. Then, with little wasted effort, the lieutenant snapped a pair of handcuffs on Monroe.

  Monroe stared sullenly at Chef Ricardo. “That idiot threw a knife at me!”

  Chef Ricardo stepped forward and peered at the ripped fabric and creased flesh with a proprietary glance. “Ees nothing,” he said scornfully. “Barely a flesh wound.”

  “Sweetmomma Pam?” Ava Grieux, hair unpinned and swirling about her shoulders, teetered in the front doorway, a look of pure terror on her lovely face.

  “Ava!” said Carmela, startled by her friend’s sudden appearance. “Sweetmomma Pam’s just fine. But how did you get here?”

  “She came with me,” said Lieutenant Babcock. He pulled a radio from his belt and spoke rapidly into it, requesting a backup squad as well as an ambulance.

  Shamus smiled broadly. Sweetmomma Pam was safe, the cops were taking over, the drama seemed to be wrapping up.

  But Carmela wasn’t finished. Not by a long shot. Bartholomew Hayward had been stabbed. She’d been threatened and shot at. Sweetmomma Pam had been kidnapped. And Billy Cobb had been falsely accused and almost arrested!

  Like an overworked image from a grade B horror film, Carmela felt a sheet of red descend before her eyes. And, in the tick of a single synapse, felt herself slip from fear into full-blown rage. Neurons popped like errant firecrackers inside her brain as a wave of anger engulfed her.

  Baring her teeth in a snarl, Carmela hurled herself at Monroe Payne, grabbing tufts of red silk with both fists. “You arrogant asshole,” she yelled, “who do you think you are! Murdering… thieving…”

  Shamu
s’s eyebrows shot up. He stepped forward and put a tentative hand on Carmela’s shoulder. “Hey, Carmela, take it easy. It’s over, you don’t have to make a big scene.”

  But Carmela was not to be deterred. She delivered a sharp kick to Monroe ’s knees and yanked savagely again at his costume. “Blustering bully!” she screamed. “Kidnapping Ava’s grandmother! Stabbing Bartholomew Hayward! You’re pitiful… pathetic!”

  Lieutenant Babcock watched her with a slack jaw. This was a side to the seemingly mild-mannered Carmela Bertrand he’d never have guessed at.

  “Get her off me!” yelped Monroe. “The woman’s gone insane!”

  Shamus continued to pull at Carmela. “Ease off, Carmela, it’s over.”

  She refused to look at him. “No, it isn’t! It’s not over ’til I say it’s over!”

  “Come on, honey,” Shamus entreated. “Back off, okay? You’re scaring the crap out of me… and, besides, you’re tearing the poor man’s dress.”

  Abruptly, Carmela released her hold on Monroe Payne. He fell back against the wall, angry, shaken, and nervous that a one-hundred-and-twenty-pound woman had been poised to clean his clock.

  Carmela turned and stared into Shamus’s brown eyes, allowing his words to slowly penetrate her consciousness. “What did you say?” she asked.

  He shrugged gently. “You were tearing his dress?”

  A hint of a grin dimpled Carmela’s face. Shamus stared at her for a second, then his mouth began to twitch as well. “I thought you were gonna kill him,” said Shamus. He gave an elaborate mock wipe at his brow. “Cripes.”

  Then the tension fell away and Carmela and Shamus threw their arms around each other, hugging and patting each other on the back, reassuring one another that everything was okay.

  “Did I just miss something?” asked Quigg Brevard, scratching his head.

  Ava shook her head. “Jeez, Carmela. Just when it looked like you were over that louse…”

  Sweetmomma Pam crinkled her old eyes and beamed. “Soul mates,” she whispered. “I can see it in their eyes.”

  Chapter 23

  MONROE Payne confessed to everything. First in drips and drops, then in a long, rambling, self-effacing story in which he also named two other art dealers from Miami whom he swore were also “embroiled” in the scam.

  “So this was all about art forgeries,” said Carmela.

  Everyone had trooped back to Quigg’s restaurant afterward for some rapid decompression. Of course, in New Orleans, rapid decompression could easily allow for generous drinks and seriously fine food.

  Baby and Del, Tandy and Darwin, and Gabby and Stuart had also been summoned. And now they were gathered around the tables at Bon Tiempe, as well.

  “They found oil paintings with museum labels still on them stashed in those old blast freezers,” said Quigg. “Apparently Monroe Payne and Bartholomew Hayward were in cahoots. Monroe would steal an original and paint a forgery. Then Bartholomew Hayward would handle the sale of the original painting via the crooked art dealers in Miami.”

  “With the forged piece going back on the walls of the New Orleans Art Institute,” said Carmela.

  Now Lt. Edgar Babcock spoke up. “It looks that way. I think when all this gets out, the board of directors at the New Orleans Art Institute is going to have a lot of explaining to do. They’re going to have some very unhappy donors.” He looked around at the still-stunned faces. “The Norton Museum, too. In Palm Beach. They had someone working on the inside there, too. With the dealers trading stolen paintings back and forth.”

  “So no one would recognize them,” said Baby. She shook her head sadly and Del clasped her hand. Baby was still stunned that her beloved Art Institute was part of such a terrible scandal.

  Carmela took a sip of wine and thought about the photos Quigg had given her. The ones that depicted Barty Hayward hosting his American Painters Expo. Had those been stolen paintings? Probably. Probably stolen from the Norton Museum or whatever other Florida museum had been part of the scam. And she remembered something else, too. Natalie Chastain sitting in her office, accepting a painting from Monroe Payne and frowning when she touched the frame. And… what else? Maybe wiping a bit of gilt paint from her hand?

  Carmela nodded to herself. Of course. Gilt paint that wasn’t completely dry. It was probably the same gilt paint that had been on the murder weapon.

  Carmela stood up and wandered over to the marble sideboard to pour herself another glass of wine. No wonder Bartholomew Hayward had such an endless supply of paintings. He was part of a major conspiracy to rob public museums and reap obscene profits. Of course, with such high stakes, it wasn’t surprising Barty Hayward and Monroe Payne had gotten into some kind of argument. One that had ended disastrously for Barty Hayward.

  Shamus noticed Carmela standing alone and casually walked over to join her. Touching her shoulder gently, he asked, “Are you okay?”

  She managed a smile. “I’m fine.”

  “God, you’re feisty.” There was nothing but admiration in his voice.

  Her smile wavered. “I am? Really?”

  Shamus snorted. “ ’Course you are.” He paused, gazed down at his shoes. Normally talkative and glib, Shamus seemed at a loss for words.

  Carmela put a hand on Shamus’s jacket, then walked her fingers up his lapel. “You don’t really look like a mime, you know.”

  A smile twitched on his face. “Thanks. You had me worried.” Shamus looked suddenly sheepish. “Carmela… I didn’t mean those things I said before. You’re still very much a part of the family.”

  Carmela’s voice was soft, barely above a whisper. “I know.”

  They stood for a few moments, shoulders touching. Carmela noticed that Ava was snuggled in the protective arms of Chef Ricardo. She grinned to herself. Some matchmaker she was. She’d had her eye on Lieutenant Babcock for Ava, but Ava had ended up with the hot-tempered chef. That was the thing about chemistry between men and women. Kapow-you never knew what would happen.

  “I’ve been thinking,” said Carmela.

  “About what?” asked Shamus.

  “A joint photography show.”

  A look of surprise spread across Shamus’s handsome face. “Aren’t you the creative thinker.”

  “Of course, I’ll have to go meet with Clark Berthume. Show him your stuff, try to get him to agree to it…,” said Carmela.

  “He will,” said Shamus determinedly. “You’re a world-champion finagler, Carmela. Always have been. You can talk anybody into anything.”

  “You really think so?” said Carmela.

  Shamus nodded vehemently. “Oh yeah.”

  They stood together in silence, shoulders and hips touching now.

  Hmm, wondered Carmela. Could I talk Shamus into giving it another shot? Into giving us another shot? She gave him a sideways glance. It’s sure worth a try, she decided. Well worth a try.

  Scrapbook and Stamping Tips from Laura Childs

  Stamping on Glass

  You can use your favorite rubber stamps to decorate beverage glasses, glass votive candles, or even mirrors and windows. When it’s time to clean up, colorful stamp pad ink can be removed in a flash using ordinary glass cleaner.

  The Fabric of Your Life

  Using a piece of fabric as background for your photographs adds texture, dimension, and color. Also consider snippets of embroidery, antique lace, scraps of baby clothing, or a piece from a wedding veil.

  Treasure Trove Envelopes

  Glassine envelopes, incorporated into your scrapbook pages, are perfect for holding photos, old letters, valentines, beads, trinkets, sand dollars, a bird feather, dried rose petals, a single earring, etc. Envelopes also give your scrapbooks a fun, interactive quality.

  Tell a Story

  Scrapbook pages are more interesting when you tell the complete story surrounding an event. Get pictures of the before, the during, and the after. For example, a page detailing a child’s birthday could be told with the before (getting dressed or de
corating), the during (the party), and the after (the family dog lapping a plate of cake crumbs).

  Pretty As a Picture

  The same scrapbooking techniques you’ve perfected for your albums can also be used to create beautiful collages that can be framed. Family photos, old letters, and precious documents can be mounted together in a picture frame, then displayed on a wall or desk.

  Double-Duty Punches

  Use your paper punches to create other interesting shapes. For example, if you have a heart punch and a circle punch, you can create a flower. Punch out a single circle to use as the center, then a dozen or so heart shapes to use as petals.

  Food for Thought

  Since so many family events center around food, be sure to include recipes in your scrapbook. Use colorful recipe cards or print your recipe on a die-cut (a nice big apple, for example!).

  Carmela’s Favorite Recipes

  Killer Pecan Popovers

  POPOVERS

  4 eggs

  2 cups milk

  3 tbsp. butter, melted

  2 cups all-purpose flour 1/2 tsp. salt ½ cup pecans, finely chopped

  HONEY BUTTER

  2 tbsp. honey ½ cup butter, softened

  Stir honey into the ½ cup softened butter, then cover and chill. Whisk eggs, milk, and melted butter together in a large bowl. Add flour and salt, stirring until smooth. Stir in pecans. Spoon batter into 12 (6 oz.) greased custard cups, filling each cup halfway and placing them on a baking sheet. Bake at 400° for 40 minutes or until firm. Serve immediately with honey butter.

  Baby’s Sublime Applesauce

  12 large Granny Smith apples, peeled and chopped

  1 ½ cups sugar ½ cup fresh lemon juice