Riding Solo

by Woods, Karen

  Jenny chuckled and peeped through the window, looking at the neighbours gathering outside. “I just hope everything runs to plan. If I’m being honest with you I didn’t think this wedding would have gone ahead. Harry’s been so distant lately and he’s been acting strange.”

  Paula puckered her lips together and applied the cherry red lipstick to her lips. “That’s normal, I bet he’s stressed with all the run up to the wedding and that.”

  Jenny popped a cigarette into the corner of her mouth and lit it. Taking a long deep drag from it she sat down and crossed her legs. “You might be right, but I can feel a change in him. I thought it was because his sister wasn’t coming to the wedding at first but he went to see her last night and sorted things out between them,” she shook her head and blew her breath. “It’s probably me being paranoid that’s all. You know what I’m like when I’m worked up.”

  Paula gave her a friendly pat on the middle of her arm. “You two have been through the mill lately. I never thought for one minute you would work things out with Harry. I mean, you did leave him on his arse for another man.”

  Jenny was horrified and stubbed her cigarette out in the ashtray, she hated being reminded of the past. “I cheated on Harry because he was never in; let’s face it if we’re being honest. He was a self-centred dick-head. He never took me out, never once did he do anything special for me, so what did he expect?”

  Paula fought her corner. “So, what’s going to be different this time around? Have you spoken to him about the future and what you want from him?”

  Jenny was tapping her finger on the table at the side of her and she spoke in a confident tone. “He knows full well, what I want from him this time around. Do you think I’m going to fall into that circle ever again, because I’m not you know. If I see him slipping, he’s getting carted.”

  Paula walked to the mirror and sprayed hairspray onto her auburn locks. “You’ve got him sorted then, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. I wish you both all the luck in the world.”

  Jenny tried to smile, but inside she knew her love life was anything but perfect. She’d lied to her friend and tried to make out that everything was rosy in the garden, when in fact; her relationship was a hard battle every day. Harry didn’t love her like he used to and trying to repair her broken relationship was one of the hardest things she’d ever done in her life. A voice from downstairs shouted that the wedding cars were here to pick them up. Jenny inhaled deeply and started to get her things together. Paula looked at her from the corner of her eye, and realised that for once, her friend was not her usual confident self.

  *

  Kerry sat at the kitchen table with her brother Harry. There was a bottle of brandy on the table and it was half empty. “I’m coming today for you Harry, nobody else. You know how I feel about Jenny so don’t be expecting any miracles, I can’t stand the sight of her if the truth is known.” Harry poured them both another drink as Jordan came into the room. He’d scrubbed up well and looked quiet handsome. Kerry shot a look at him and nudged her brother in the waist. “Look at that fine figure of a man. I’m so lucky he’s mine you know.”

  Jordan knew she was taking the piss out of him but loved the attention he was getting. “Yeah, remember how lucky you are. The women out there love me, so be on your best behaviour before you’re kicked to the kerb.”

  Kerry broke out into a fit of laughter. “Get a grip Jordan, men like you are ten a penny. It’s you who should count yourself lucky, not me,” she opened her eyes wide. “I’m a good catch aren’t I Harry? Go on tell him,” she was pressing for an answer.

  Harry sniggered and looked Jordan straight in his eye. “My sister is top notch mate. Crème de la crème she is.”

  Jordan sat down with them both and reached for the bottle of brandy. “She’s alright I suppose, well, for now,” he winked at Harry waiting for Kerry’s reaction. He didn’t have to wait long.

  “What the fuck do you mean for now? If you think you can do better, then off you trot nob-head.”

  Jordan held his head back laughing. “I’m joking, I’m joking you barm pot. You’re my special woman, nobody could ever fill your boots my princess.”

  Kerry sat proud and smiled. “Good job,” she mumbled.

  Harry ran his finger around the top of his glass. It was time to go to the church. Kerry sat watching him and studied him further. “Are you okay our kid, you seem in a world of your own?”

  Harry lifted his head up and smiled at her. “It all comes to those who wait Kerry, and my time is nearly here.”

  She looked at him as if he’d lost the plot. “What do you mean by that,” she asked as she stood next to him with her hands on her hips.

  “You’ll see,” he whispered. “You’ll see.”

  The church was set back from the main road. It was quite old and dated. If you looked from afar you could see that lots of slates were missing from the roof. In fact, the church was in need of some desperate repairs. Jenny pulled up in the wedding car and she was excited. Her father Chris was by her side, and he looked proud sat in his grey suit. Paula came to meet Jenny as she got out of the car. “You’re late. Harry’s been here for ages now. I bet he thinks you’re not turning up.”

  A look of relief filled Jenny’s face and she started to relax. “It will do him good to wait. Remember that old saying. Be mean and keep them keen.”

  Her dad poked his slim hairy finger into her waist. “Don’t start with all them mind games love. If you love the man, then let him know. It does my head in all that playing about .If you love someone you should just tell them.”

  Jenny started to walk towards the church. “Don’t hate the player father, hate the game.” Paula ran ahead and informed everyone the bride was here.

  Jenny took a deep breath as she started to walk down the aisle. Everyone’s eyes were on her and she was smiling. Kerry snarled as she passed her and she didn’t care who heard what she had to say. “Dirty hoe, just because you’re getting a ring on your finger now, it doesn’t change the fact that you will always be a cheap tart in my eyes.”

  Jordan grabbed Kerry’s arm and spoke to her in a low voice, but everyone could still hear him. “Will you keep your voice down? You said you were going to be on your best behaviour today for Harry’s sake, remember it’s his day not yours.”

  People were looking at them both with disapproving expressions. Kerry growled at them and that was enough for them to turn back around. “Oh be quiet Jordan, she just makes my blood boil, and you know that more than anyone.”

  Jenny was near the front of the church now and Harry turned his head slowly just as she got to his side. Mark was stood next to him and he was smiling from ear to ear. He knew Harry had been unhappy without Jenny by his side and he was chuffed his mate was getting the happy ending he deserved. The priest welcomed the congregation. He was an old man with a bald head. His figure was round and he looked like an egg on legs. Jenny’s father sat down now as did Mark. Paula was sat forward in her seat and she kept dabbing a white cotton tissue in the corner of her eyes. Jenny’s mother Marie was tearful too. Jenny’s Dad Chris took hold of her hand and squeezed it gently.

  The service was lovely and the priest’s words were meaningful as he explained the vows of marriage. Harry was looking at him and nodding his head as he agreed with him. The exchange of the wedding bands began. The priest held the gold wedding ring in his hand and passed it to Harry. Mark had made sure as soon as he got in the church he passed it over to the priest, he’d had nightmares of losing the ring for weeks and he was glad to see the back of it. Jenny was anxious and stood fidgeting; small beads of sweat were visible on her forehead. Harry coughed to clear his throat and turned to face the guests who were there. Everyone was on edge; this wasn’t part of the service.

  Harry looked at Jenny and gave her an evil look. “Payback time,” he whispered. “I would like to thank everyone who’s attended today, but I’m sorry to say, there won’t be any wedding.” Jenny’s father
stood to his feet and his wife was dragging him back by his jacket to sit back down. Harry continued and he held everyone’s attention. “Jenny left me months ago, and to tell you all the truth I was a wreck, in fact I was dead inside.”

  Jenny smiled and patted him on his arm. “You don’t have to go into all that Harry, it’s in the past now. Just let’s get married.”

  The priest tried to continue with the service but Harry stopped him as he raised a flat palm in his direction. “This woman is evil; she’s an out and out liar and doesn’t deserve me. To think I was even considering marrying her is beyond me.”

  Kerry was shouting now from the back of the church and she loved every minute of Jenny’s humiliation. “You tell her brother. You can’t polish a turd. The woman’s damaged goods!”

  Mark came to Harry’s side and whispered into his ear, but whatever he said had no effect on whatever Harry was going to say next. “Jenny you was my world when we were together, yes we had a few problems, but who doesn’t?” Jenny was hysterical crying and she was pleading with him to stop. “I don’t love you anymore Jenny. I just wanted to humiliate you just like you humiliated me. You’re nothing but an out and out liar and as from this day, I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire. My heart is with someone else and I was a fool to ever think I could have a life with you again. It’s over Jenny, we’re equal now, don’t you think?”

  Jenny ran at him and tried to sink her long talons into his eyes. Paula ran between them and pulled her off. “You low life bastard,” Jenny screamed out as she fought to get at him. “I was marrying you for the kids, no other reason. You’ve done it this time Harry, don’t think you can come running back to me when it all goes pear-shaped. I’m done with you forever.”

  Harry walked to her side and looked her deep in the eyes. “No Jenny, get your facts right. I’m the one who’s done with you.” Harry Bailey started to walk down the aisle as the congregation watched him. They were all gobsmacked and couldn’t believe the drama they’d just witnessed. Kerry was waiting for Harry at the back of the church and she was still shouting abuse at Jenny. Harry got outside and searched his jacket pockets for his cigarettes. His hands were shaking and he was desperate for a blast of nicotine.

  “Top one, our kid,” Kerry sniggered at the side of him. “She got what she deserved didn’t she Jordan?”

  Jordan nodded in agreement, but you could see he felt sorry for the bride. “Come on then Harry, let’s go and get rat- arsed. This is one of the best days of my life, let’s celebrate it. I can’t wait to tell everyone that Jenny has got her comeuppance.”

  Harry inhaled deeply on his fag. “You go Kerry and I’ll catch up with you later. I need to go somewhere first.” Kerry was rubbing her hands together with excitement.

  “You’re going for Amanda aren’t you? It’s her you love, isn’t it?”

  Harry nodded slowly as he started to kick his shoes into the ground. “You’re right Kerry. I’ve not stopped thinking about her. I just hope she feels the same about me and it’s not too late.”

  Kerry pecked him on the side of the cheek. “Go and find out then. Love just doesn’t die overnight. Surely she must still love you.”

  Harry started to jog off as the rest of the guests started to come out of the church. Kerry stood tall and made sure everybody heard her. “Love moves in mysterious ways, doesn’t it Jordan?” she sobbed.

  “It sure does Kerry, it sure does,” Jordan replied.

  Harry pounded his clenched fist on Amanda’s front door. He’d been knocking for over five minutes and she still wouldn’t open the front door. He knew she was in because he could hear the TV from inside. Sinking down to the floor he drew his knees up to his chest. “Amanda, I know you’re in. Please open the door. I’ve treated you badly I know, but I’ve been so mixed up and didn’t realise how much I loved you.” He banged the back of his head against the door and continued. “I’ve jilted Jenny today. I was supposed to be getting married you know? Every day since you’ve been gone I’ve missed you. I suppose I was blinkered so to speak. I should have told you how I felt about you sooner.”

  Amanda sat on the other side of the door and she was crying. She held her hand over her mouth to cover her pain. Harry’s voice was still loud and clear and she could tell he was upset. She held her ear to the door and stroked her hand over the lower part of her stomach. Harry continued, he didn’t know she was listening. “Just let me speak to you for ten minutes Amanda. If after that you don’t feel the same then I’ll walk away. I promise you, I’ll walk away.”

  The front door opened slowly and Harry flung his arms around Amanda the moment he set eyes on her. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” he blubbered. Amanda pushed him away and walked into the front room and sat down on the sofa with her legs tucked up behind her. Harry sat facing her and cracked his knuckles. He’d planned everything he wanted to say to her in his head a hundred times before but now he was here sat in front of her his mind was blank. Looking around the room he noticed the changes. Paul’s photograph from the back of the room was missing, and so were the candles. The room looked cleaner and fresher. The curtains were even open letting light into the room.

  Amanda played with her hair and sat tall with a firm look held on her face. If this man thought he could just walk back into her life without a fight, he could think again. “Say what you have to say Harry, then do one.”

  Harry sucked on his gums; he knew this wasn’t going to be easy. “I love you Amanda. I was a dick-head and I was weak. I went back with Jenny for the kids. You know I love my children don’t you?”

  Amanda hissed at him and her forehead creased as she let rip. “Don’t give me all that crap. You went back to Jenny because you loved her. Don’t think I’m that vulnerable to believe you. I’m not that thick you know?”

  Harry tried to sit next to her but she got up and moved away from him. “Harry just go back home. We’re done; you had your chance with me and fucked it up.”

  He melted with the pain he felt in his heart, but he wasn’t giving up just yet. “I was mixed up, you must understand that. You saw what I was like when Jenny first left me.”

  Amanda laughed sarcastically. “Oh, poor fucking Harry. You’re not the first person to go through a break-up and you won’t be the last.”

  “Just listen to me will you?” he pleaded. “I realised that my love for Jenny was dead. I couldn’t stand her near me,” he was opening his heart and telling her everything.

  Amanda wasn’t listening though. “I bet you weren’t saying that when you were in bed together though, were you,” she shot him a look to kill. “Yeah, you’ll be quiet now won’t you Harry? I’m not being second-best, not now, not ever. So thanks, but no thanks, I don’t do sloppy seconds.”

  Harry examined every inch of her, she looked different. His eyes shot to the front of her stomach and he could see a small bulge. Trying to make light of the matter, he smiled at her. “So you’ve been comfort eating without me then?” He pointed his finger at her stomach.

  Amanda panicked and tried to loosen her t-shirt. Her cheeks were beetroot and she was stuttering. “Just leave me alone Harry. Go back to Jenny and the kids. It’s what you want really.”

  Harry tried to plead his case again, but it fell on deaf ears. He walked into the hallway and knew he only had seconds left to speak. “What can I do to prove that I love you Amanda? Go on, tell me and I’ll do it?” Amanda just opened the front door wide and dipped her head low, she never answered him. The front door closed and she was alone, her heart was pounding inside her chest and she looked queasy. Kicking her foot against the bottom of the door she broke down and cried her eyes out. “I love you too Harry,” she whispered under her breath.

  Harry sat on the front step of Amanda’s house. He knew this wasn’t going to be easy and stayed sat down on the small step in the corner of the front garden. Just staring at the windows, he ragged his fingers through his hair. The rain started to fall and he pulled his collar up on his black sui
t to try and keep the rain off. He could hear the sound in his ears of his own heart beating again, and he shook his head slowly.

  Amanda ran inside the bedroom and scanned the area. She could see Harry sat in the garden and her heart was in her throat, she was just about to open the window and talk to him, but she stopped herself at the last minute. Pacing the bedroom she grabbed the phone and sank onto the bed. She dialled a number and sat listening to the ringing tone. “Hello Marcy, it’s me Amanda. I’m sorry for ringing you but my heads in bits. Harry just been here declaring his undying love for me and I’ve flung him out. The mental bastard is sat in my garden now in the pissing down rain. What the hell should I do?” Amanda listened eagerly to the advice from the other end of the line. She kept peeping out of the window checking he was still there. The phone call ended and she sat on the bed chewing the skin on the side of her fingernails. Taking a deep breath she stood up and opened the window, she was anxious as she looked for Harry, she couldn’t see him anymore, he was gone. Running down the stairs she opened the front door in a panic, her hands were shaking and she was panicking. Walking out further into the garden she shouted his name again, but there was no sign of him.

  Looking to the sky, tears streamed down her face, she’d lost him forever. The rain was falling down heavy and she was getting soaked. With a heavy heart she turned slowly and froze. Harry was stood there and he was more than ready to take her in his arms. “Where were you?” she asked in a low tone.

  “I needed a piss so I was watering your flowers at the side of the house for you,” he joked.

  Punching him softly in his arm she smiled. “Do you want to come back inside and talk?”

  Harry was already heading back inside the house and didn’t need to be asked twice. Once they were back into the front room he looked at her before he sat down. “Can I take these wet clothes off before I get pneumonia, you don’t want me dying now do you?”

  He pretended to sneeze and she shook her head. “Take them off, but don’t be getting any funny ideas. You’re here to talk, nothing else.”