ISLAND OF LOVE

by Rosemary Hammond

  “In fact,” he said smoothly, his voice pitched low, “you’re looking especially enticing today.” His eyes dropped lower briefly, then flicked back up to her face. “That red sweater suits you. You have just the colŹoring—and the body—for it.”

  Her cheeks grew warm. She’d worn the red sweater on purpose that morning, knowing it flattered her dark hair and pale complexion, as well as her figure. She felt his weight shift on the couch beside her so that they were just touching now, and the sudden warmth of his body next to hers was like a burst of flame.

  He reached out slowly and clasped the back of her neck with one hand, then placed the other flat against her cheek. His thumb began to rub gently over her lips in a familiar caress. She was drowning, and she knew it, and she couldn’t utter a word.

  “We could have some wonderful times together, Anne,” he murmured softly. “I could take you places you’ve never been before if you let me.”

  All she could do was nod wordlessly. She knew quite well what he meant. In those few short sentences, he was making himself absolutely clear. He was asking her to have an affair with him. She tried to think, but in her heart she knew the time for thinking was long past. It was why she’d come here today, and far too late to turn back. She wanted him on any terms she could get him.

  “Yes,” was all she could say, and closed her eyes.

  His arms came around her then, holding her tightly up against him. His lips were on her hair, her forehead, her cheek, and his hands were moving over her body. She shivered as they snaked their way under the red sweater, across her bare back, and finally came to rest on her breast.

  As the seeking hands worked their magic on her, all thought fled from her mind. She gave herself up to him and the sheer joy of the moment completely, ready to give him whatever he asked of her, wanting it, wanting him.

  Then, suddenly, he stiffened. His body grew rigid, his hands stilled and he slowly drew away from her. She opened her eyes to see that he was half turned away, staring into the flickering fire and scowling darkly. In a moment he looked at her again and gave her a brief rueful smile.

  “Damn this cold!”

  He rose abruptly to his feet, crossed over to the fire and stood looking down into it for several long secŹonds. Anne sat there stunned at his abrupt withŹdrawal, watching him and waiting for him to explain, to say something. Anything! Of course he’d been sick. Maybe that was the answer. But he wasn’t that sick if he could get bathed and dressed, make coffee, and at least start to make love to her.

  “Jerry,” she said at last, “what’s wrong?”

  He waved a hand in the air. “Oh, it’s just this blasted bug.” He still wouldn’t look at her.

  She didn’t believe him. It had to be more than that to make him disappear so completely. Did he need a little prompting? She’d turned him down so many times, maybe he was afraid she’d back out again. Maybe he needed some reassurance from her.

  “Jerry,” she said slowly, “I’ve thought a lot about what happened at the island.”

  He leaned down to stir up the fire with the poker, then turned his head to give her an inscrutable look. “A lot of things happened there,” he said smoothly, “and not all of them pleasant.”

  “No. I know that.” She laughed nervously. “I don’t think I was in full possession of my faculties at the time. But I just wanted you to know that I have thought about it, about the things you said, a lot.”

  There was another long silence while he gazed back into the fire. Why wasn’t he helping her out? Why was he making this so difficult for her? Did he want her to grovel, to beg? Finally, he stood up and looked down at her, his face bland and composed.

  “I do remember encouraging you to try and get a book put together. Have you thought any more about it?”

  If he’d struck her she couldn’t have been more shocked. “Well,” she faltered, “that’s one thing.”

  “I still think it’s a good idea, and I’m perfectly willing to give you all the help I can.” He laughed. “Of course, I don’t want to lose you on the magazine. But then you have a pretty ironclad contract. I see no reason why we can’t work it out.”

  She had to get out of there, and now, right away, before she did something she’d regret for the rest of her life. What she felt like doing was throwing someŹthing, slapping the cold smile off his face, screaming at him. Instead she drained the last of her cold coffee, just for something to do while she collected herself.

  Then she rose to her feet. “Thank you,” she said. “That’s very generous of you. I’ll appreciate any help you can give me. Now, I think I’d better go. I don’t want to tire you.” She started walking toward the hall, where she’d left her coat.

  He jumped to his feet and held a hand out to her. “Anne,” he said in a low voice.

  She turned slowly around. “Yes?”

  He was frowning down at the floor, his face working, and when he raised his eyes to hers there was a haunted look in them. “Nothing,” he said curtly at last. “I’ll see you to the door.”

  “Better not,” she said, hurrying away from him. “I wouldn’t want you to have a relapse.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  ANNE drove blindly along the city streets, her cheeks burning, her hands shaking. What a humiliating exŹperience! You’d think she would have learned what he was like, she agonized, from all the years she’d known him! “Never again,” she swore through her teeth. She’d take a vow of celibacy before she’d ever offer herself to a man again.

  Why had he led her on that way only to back off the minute she responded? Was it simple revenge for the way she’d rejected him in the past? But that didn’t sound like Jerry. She couldn’t even really be angry with him. It wasn’t his fault if he’d decided he didn’t want her. Why should he be satisfied with second best? She’d turned him down after all when he’d wanted her.

  It was still only midmorning when she left, and she headed downtown. She knew now what she had to do and was anxious to get the next step over with before she lost her nerve.

  At the office, she went straight to the personnel diŹrector, a kindly, middle-aged woman who stared at Anne aghast when she informed her that she was leaving the magazine.

  “But it’s such short notice, Anne,” she protested. “I don’t have anyone to replace you. And you do have a contract with us.”

  “Listen, Roberta, you don’t need a replacement for me,” Anne replied firmly. “I only do feature articles,

  and I can just as well do them on my own. I don’t want to be tied to a job any more, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still do whatever my contract requires.”

  “Well, can’t you at least wait until Jerry gets back?”

  Anne rose from her chair. “No. I can’t do that.”

  Roberta gave her a long look of appraisal. “All right,” she said quietly at last. She stood up and held out her hand. “Good luck, Anne. We’ll miss you around here.”

  “Thanks, Roberta. Thanks for everything. I’ll let you know where you can reach me as soon as I know myself.”

  The older woman’s eyebrows shot up. “Are you leaving town?”

  “I might. I haven’t decided yet. But I’ll be in touch.”

  There, she thought, on the way home, it’s done. I should have done it ages ago. That’s one thing I have to thank Jerry for. If it hadn’t been for his encourŹagement I wouldn’t have had the nerve to take such a drastic step.

  The first thing she did when she got home was call Mr. Pembroke in Friday Harbor.

  “Mr. Pembroke,” she said when he came on the line, “this is Anne Cameron. I want you to take the house off the market. I’ve decided to keep it myself.”

  “Well, that is a surprise, Anne. I was just going to call you today to tell you I received an offer on it. Are you sure you don’t want to sell?”

  “Yes. Positive. I’ll be coming back in a few days and will stop by your office to pick up the keys.”

  Suddenly there were a million things that n
eeded doing. A permanent move was far more complicated than a two-week trip. She’d set down strong roots in

  Seattle. Actually, she was grateful for the distraction. It kept her from thinking about Jerry.

  By the following night, she’d packed most of her dishes and other household articles in boxes provided by the moving company, but still had her clothes and personal belongings to get ready. She’d arranged to stop the paper, have the utilities turned off, change her address and inform her landlord she was leaving on Monday, the day the movers were coming for her furniture.

  The apartment was already beginning to look bare, unlived-in, with the pictures off the walls, chair cushions and other objects missing. She was trying to eat up as much of the food in the house as possible so she wouldn’t have to shop again, and was in the kitchen finishing up a grilled cheese sandwich and a glass of milk when the doorbell rang.

  She opened it to see Jerry standing on the other side, his hands on his hips, his face like thunder. “What’s this about quitting your job?” he barked.

  She had stepped back from the door the moment she saw him, and now he pushed it open, came inside, and shut it behind him with a loud bang. “Answer me! Why did you quit your job behind my back?”

  “I—I just thought it was time, that’s all. You were the one who said I should strike out on my own. Now that I own a house and have a little money, I just decided to take your advice.”

  He glanced around the room at the boxes stacked against the wall. “You’re going away,” he said.

  “Yes.”

  “When?”

  “The movers are coming on Monday.”

  “Back to the island, I suppose.”

  “That’s right.”

  He glared darkly at her for several seconds. “It’s Ben,” he said at last in a low growl. “You’re going back to him.”

  “No, of course not. I told you. That’s all over. Ben has nothing to do with my decision.”

  “But I do,” he said. She turned away from him, but his arm shot out and he twisted her around to face him. “What is it, Anne? Why are you really leaving? Have I done anything to upset you?”

  “No. Of course not. It’s something I should have done a long time ago. It has nothing to do with you.”

  He gave her a long look. “You’re lying,” he said at last.

  She pulled herself free and started walking away from him. “I have an awful lot to do, Jerry, and not much time to do it in, but I could give you a quick drink if you like. How are you feeling, by the way? All over the flu, I see.”

  “Anne!” His voice cut into the room like a gunshot. “Anne,” he said in a softer tone, moving to her side. “Look at me.”

  If she did, she knew she’d be lost. She kept her head turned away, her hands clenched into fists at her side, every muscle rigid. Why had he come storming over here like this? She could see that he might be annoyed at losing her from the magazine, but surely Roberta must have explained to him that she still planned to write for him if he wanted her to? Only at a safe distance.

  His hands came down on her shoulders and she heard his low voice behind her. “Anne, you can’t go like this. We have unfinished business between us. I—

  I” He faltered, and his hands tightened on her.

  “I don’t want you to go. I need you here.”

  She turned around. “As I told Roberta, I’ll be available for feature articles if you want them. It’s not as though you needed me to be right there, under your thumb in the office.”

  He shook his head. “I didn’t mean that. I meant / need you. Me. Personally.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He dropped his hands from her shoulders. “I did a very stupid thing the other day when you came to the house. In fact, I’ve handled this whole thing beŹtween us badly right from the start. But that was probably the dumbest episode of the bunch. The fact is, when you were actually there and seemed, well, interested in me at last, I simply panicked. I was terŹrified. It was the last thing I’d expected.”

  He started pacing around the room, his hands stuck in the pockets of his dark pants, scowling darkly. Anne didn’t know what to say. There was nothing to say, not yet. Finally, he came to stand before her again.

  “You’ve got to understand, Anne. Until you showed up, for all I knew you were dead set on marŹrying Ben, perhaps already had. Then, when you came back, my first thought was that now there was some hope for me. Anyway, to make a long story short, my plan, if you can call it that, was the same as it had always been—to talk you into an affair with me.”

  “I knew that,” she said calmly. “I was even ready for it when I came back the next day. But you virŹtually sent me away. At the very least, you showed a decided lack of interest.”

  “Yes, well, that was the really dumb part,” he said glumly. “When you started talking about the time we

  were together on the island, I knew you were ready to give in.” He threw his hands up helplessly. “But somehow, seeing you there, so brave, so self-giving, I just couldn’t do it. You just aren’t that kind of girl.”

  Anne’s mind was racing. All she could think of was that he didn’t want her to leave. He was obviously trying to tell her something, but she couldn’t quite see what it was.

  “I see,” she said at last. “But don’t you think I’m the best judge of that?”

  He shrugged. “Perhaps. In any event, that’s what my conclusion was—that a brief affair was no go.” He sucked in a lungful of air. “However, the alternative was not only terrifying, it was something so entirely new to my way of thinking that I didn’t even recognize it until I found out today that you’d quit your job. Then I knew. I can’t let you go.”

  She still couldn’t quite grasp what he was driving at. Only one thing was clear to her. He had come back to her. He still wanted her. And she still wanted him, on any terms she could get him. A great feeling of hope settled on her, calming her.

  She smiled at him. “You’re not really making much sense, Jerry, but I think you’re saying…” She falŹtered, not quite sure of herself.

  “What I’m trying to say is that I want you, Anne, on any terms I can get you.”

  At his words, so exactly echoing her own, she had to laugh. At the same moment, they both moved the step closer that separated them, reaching out blindly, and the next thing she knew she was in his arms, half laughing, half crying into his shoulder, the tweed jacket rough under her cheek.

  He held her tightly, as though afraid she’d disappear if he let go, to the length of his body. She raised her arms up around his neck, clinging to him with all her might, while he stroked her hair and murŹmured her name, gentling her. He pressed his face against hers, his mouth at her ear.

  “I want you, Anne,” he murmured. “I want you so badly.”

  She felt as though she was floating mindlessly, giving herself up entirely to the present moment. His hand was moving up and down her bare arm in a soothing, hypnotic rhythm, and her arms tightened around his neck.

  “Oh, Jerry, I want you, too,” she whispered happily.

  He raised his head to gaze down at her, his dark eyes gleaming. “Are you sure?” he said in a low voice.

  She nodded. “Absolutely.”

  He gave her a quirky smile. “What happened to my girl who was so hell-bent on safety at any price? Have I created a monster?”

  She smiled. “I don’t know. Try me.”

  He slowly lowered his head. She closed her eyes, waiting, and when his lips touched hers a deep sense of joy filled her whole being. His mouth was soft, brushing lightly over hers in a slow, sensuous motion at first. Then, suddenly, as though both bursting into flame at once, they clutched blindly at each other, clinging together in a frantic embrace.

  Then, wordlessly, in complete tacit understanding, they moved slowly down the hall to the bedroom. When they reached the side of the bed, Anne turned into his arms and raised her face to his. Their lips met

  again, and as they sank down
on the edge of the bed Jerry’s mouth opened over hers in sudden urgency.

  Under the force of his kiss, she lowered her head back on the pillows. He leaned over her, his hot tongue probing and insistent, demanding entrance. With no thought except for him, she surrendered to him totally, as though this was what she was born to do. As his tongue explored her mouth, his hands moved over her body possessively from her shoulders, over her breasts, then down to her thighs and back up under her skirt, as though wanting to memorize every inch of her.

  He tore his mouth away then and pressed his cheek against hers, so that she could feel his hot, rasping breath in her ear. He was lying half on top of her now, their thudding hearts beating in unison.

  “God, what you do to me, Anne,” he breathed harshly. He raised his head, his dark eyes boring into hers. “There hasn’t been a day that I haven’t wanted you.”

  With their eyes still locked together, he brushed one hand lightly over her breasts, then slipped it underŹneath her thin blouse to rest on her bare midriff. His touch on her skin sent a shaft of liquid fire coursing through her bloodstream. She moaned faintly and closed her eyes as his hand moved slowly upward, then she sighed deeply when it closed around her breast.

  “Sit up,” he whispered, guiding her to an upright position so that she sat facing him.

  He tugged upward on the loose blouse, and she raised her arms so that he could slip it over her head. When she was free of it and he had dropped it behind him at the foot of the bed, he held her arms in place with one hand, while with the other he trailed his long

  fingers down her upraised arm and bent his head to lay his lips on her bare shoulder.

  Then he pulled back from her, releasing her arms, and swiftly removed his jacket before unbuttoning his shirt. “Touch me,” he said.

  Eagerly, she reached out both hands to run them lightly, tantalizingly, over the lithe, sinewy muscles of his strong arms and broad chest. As her fingers trailed lower, fluttering on his flat stomach, he sucked in a deep breath, and she could feel the muscles quivering under her touch. He reached behind her then to unŹclasp her bra and slip it off.