Ayrie: An Auxem Novel

by Lisa Lace

  I thought of myself as calm and in control, and in almost every other situation I was. I didn’t let people get me angry. I measured my words and spoke deliberately. I made the correct decisions and was responsible.

  As soon as I kissed Jayne, something changed inside me. I stopped thinking clearly and wanted her to remember me. Instead of playing it cool when we met at the dinner, I interacted with her.

  Now I had volunteered to participate in the trial. My personal reasons were different than the reasons I gave in public. I held on to a flickering hope that Jayne would take part in the program with me. If we were fated to be together, our paths would be intertwined.

  Instead of wandering around and talking with a bunch of different girls, I had come straight to her. I hadn’t made small talk or bothered to charm her. I had referred obliquely to our first meeting and demanded that she move on to round two with me.

  These thoughts passed through my mind in an instant.

  “Are we going to dance?” I repeated, holding out my hand. She looked at it, then at my face, and returned her gaze to my hand.

  Finally, she smiled and grabbed it confidently. I pulled her to her feet and moved us toward the dance floor. A slow song had started playing. I couldn’t wait to hold her in my arms. She put her hands around my neck, and I held her waist. The pleasure of the single touch was indescribable.

  “I don’t know what exactly you’re hiding or why you’re doing it.” Her words came out carefully and slowly. “But you can trust me, Arnon.”

  It was the first time she had addressed me directly. Hearing my name on her lips felt electric.

  JAYNE

  Arnon’s hands rested on my hips. My eyes fluttered shut. It was a simple, innocent movement, but it was arousing when he did it. I loved the feeling of his hot palms against my waist. I wanted him to put his fingers on my back so he could pull me to him.

  I remembered what his flat abs and hard chest looked like as he sat beside me on the bed. Something occurred to me now, though I didn’t think of it earlier. He didn’t have a shirt on at the time because he was flying. I stared at him, thinking about his wings and staring at his body.

  He looked reluctant to say anything, but eventually asked me, “What are you thinking about?” I wondered if he truly wanted to know.

  Should I say what was on my mind? I knew I shouldn’t ask, but I wanted to know everything about him, not just the polished veneer he showed the rest of the world. “I was thinking about how hot a guy with wings would look.” I held his gaze and saw his face grow wary. “It’s a shame I don’t know any.”

  “I know we haven’t known one another very long, but if things go the way I hope, we’ll have many years ahead of us to learn about each other. I might have secrets I need to keep from you, but when I speak to you, it will always be the truth.”

  Damn. “You should know this about me, Arnon.” I paused before continuing, trying to make sure I had his complete attention. “I can be trusted with your secrets.”

  I gazed at him as he thought about my words, then rose onto my tiptoes, kissed him on the cheek, and walked away.

  ARNON

  I watched Jayne’s sweet ass sway back and forth as she left the room. I wanted to fuck her so badly that I ached. But there was a desire in me that wanted more than her body alone. I longed for someone who would fill the emptiness I had been living with for many years. I wanted the high that came from her presence. I craved it. I needed her. I had to have her.

  If she didn’t want me too, I would have to win her heart. But how could I trust her with a secret that could cost us our treaty with Earth? Would anyone believe her story that the aliens had wings? I hoped not, especially since she had been in bed and half-asleep during her encounter.

  Our planet was in a remote corner of the galaxy and, until recently, we kept to ourselves. We were far away from home now. Any stories about descendants of the Great Race with wings would probably sound like fairy tales.

  We had started experiments on other planets, but we had not revealed any information about our wings. The fathers knew that they shouldn’t mention them to their offspring until the time was right. We called the time when our wings first emerged the excludunt. When the excludunt was imminent, the fathers would have to reveal everything and help their children deal with the pain.

  I heard a familiar voice behind me. “Do you like what you see?”

  “Mind your own business, Ayrie.” I didn’t bother looking away from Jayne’s retreating form.

  “She’s just a human, you know. Are you going to bond with her?”

  “Maybe.” I turned to look at him when Jayne disappeared. He handed me a beer. I took it, taking a long pull immediately. “What are you doing here? You’re not looking for a wife yourself, are you?”

  My younger brother and I had always been close. There were five siblings in the family, but only two years separated us. Ever since tragedy struck our people, Ayrie and I had grown to be best friends as well as brothers.

  “As a matter of fact, I am. I’ve volunteered too.”

  I frowned. “Why?”

  “What do you think? I’m bored.”

  I shook my head. Ayrie could be frustrating at times. He was talented at everything, a fast learner, handsome, and never seemed to work hard for anything. His attitude drove me crazy. Finding a bond mate was important. His best match might not be in the first round of human volunteers. He might be better off waiting until the program was made official by the Earth government. But he decided to come here because he was bored? Unbelievable.

  I didn’t bother reprimanding him. Telling him he shouldn’t do something might have the opposite effect and make him unwilling to change his mind. Maybe he wouldn’t find anyone or no woman would choose him.

  I suppressed a sigh. Every woman would want him.

  He watched me quietly before speaking. “What’s on your mind, Arnon?”

  I wished he didn’t know me so well. “Nothing,” I said quickly.

  “Right. Nothing is always on your mind when you have that pensive look on your face.” We drank in silence. “Do you want to tell me about this nothing?”

  “Nope.”

  “That’s an indication that you should probably spill your guts. Are you in trouble?”

  “Probably. I didn’t give her a mind wipe.” Even though I blurted out the admission, it felt good to get it off my chest finally.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me, Arnon. What’s the matter with you?”

  I struggled to explain it because I didn’t understand it myself. “I just couldn’t do it. I wanted her to remember me.”

  “That’s the purpose of the mind wipe. It’s in the name. They’re not supposed to remember you! You could jeopardize everything.”

  “I couldn’t help myself.”

  “What do you think she’s going to do with the information?”

  “She said I could trust her.” The words sounded feeble when they came out of my mouth.

  “Right. Of course you can. If you couldn’t trust her, she would tell you, wouldn’t she? We’re supposed to follow the rules! You’re going to have to clean up your mess.”

  “It’s too late.”

  “It’s never too late. I can get you one for a specific memory.”

  “How can you get something like that?” I asked. “They cost a fortune, and there’s a huge waiting list.”

  “At this point, does it matter how? I am telling you I can get it. The only question we need to answer now is if you’ll give it to her.”

  I hesitated. It was too late. “Yes. Of course I will.”

  He glared at me. “You’re supposed to be the responsible one.” His voice sounded accusing.

  “If you’ll get it, I’ll give it. But make sure it’s reversible.”

  “Why would you use a reversible one? We do not want her to remember anything! You know they are unstable.”

  “It doesn’t matter. If you want me to do it, it has to be reversible
.”

  “It’s your funeral. I’ll meet you in your room after the dance.”

  “You can get it that fast?” I was surprised and unprepared.

  Ayrie gave me a scathing look that made me reluctant to ask any more questions. I felt sick at the thought of the memory wipe. I felt like I would be betraying Jayne. But I didn’t have any choice. She was an unknown quantity, and nothing was more important than saving our people.

  If I had to betray my future bond mate, I would. I had already screwed up once. I wouldn’t do it again.

  Chapter Five

  ARNON

  The wind blew through my hair. I was standing shirtless on the balcony of a twenty-seventh-floor hotel room, thinking about jumping off.

  If I didn’t want to die, I needed to deploy my wings. It was theoretically possible to pull them out while falling, but it required intense concentration. It was hard enough to do it while standing still. But in the middle of a free fall when the consequence of failure was death? The pressure could make anyone fail.

  Death wasn’t going to be part of my future today. I was going to unfurl my wings before I jumped and went with Ayrie to see Jayne and erase her memory.

  We were going to fly there. I would get my wings out any moment now. Any time at all would be terrific.

  Still, I hesitated. Even after all these years, I was reluctant to do it. There was a ball of dread in my belly. I knew I was strong enough. I had done it hundreds of times since I received my wings. But each occasion was still a struggle.

  I took a deep breath and took action without overthinking. With a thought, my wings unfurled from my back. Next came the pain. I had promised myself that I would be quiet this time, but I couldn’t help crying out in agony.

  Sweat started dripping from my face, and I began shaking. I tried to stay still, balling my hands into fists at my side as I waited for the agony to pass. “Fuck!” I whispered. I tried to breathe and relax. Sometimes putting myself in the right frame of mind could help.

  It wasn’t helping today.

  I tensed my muscles, willing the pain to stop. Finally, without warning, it did.

  I inhaled deeply, glad that it was over and vowing that this time would be the last. Every time my wings came out, I was never completely sure if I could do it again. No one else in the universe did what we did. We could fly, but it comes at a price.

  I had already disabled the force field preventing people from accidentally falling off the edge. I climbed onto a wide railing surrounding the balcony.

  My wings flapped in the breeze as I gave them a tentative test. Even though I had not used them for some time, they felt fine. Usually, I would be worried about someone looking up and seeing me, but there were exceptional circumstances. It was night, and this city had a policy against light pollution. They used a combination of different strategies. Lights only activated when someone was close by. Street lights only illuminated the area below them, and an invisible force field over the city deflected photons away if any light happened to stray off the path. Danin had explained everything about the area to me when I had mentioned that I might need to take to the skies.

  There was no bright light above the city. There was only blackness lit by starlight. No one was going to notice a couple of new creatures in the darkness.

  I leaped up and pumped my wings, feeling a strain in my pectoral muscles. I hadn’t used them to fly for days. I was airborne in an instant. As soon as I caught a wind current, I used it to glide, conserving my strength for when I needed it. We moved through the air like birds of prey, rarely flapping our wings and gliding as much as possible.

  I soared above the city for a few minutes, allowing myself the luxury of enjoying the flight. Unbidden, the map I memorized to Jayne’s house came to my mind. Thinking about her gave me purpose. I aimed toward a park near her house where I was going to meet up with Ayrie.

  The scent of smoke was in the air, but I didn’t think much of it. There had been a faint taint of burning in the air for days. Wildfires raged in the area and were controlled by fire-fighting crews.

  I tried to avoid thinking about why I was visiting Jayne. I wasn’t eager to erase her memories. Instead, I thought about our single night together, as if I could remember everything for both of us. I couldn’t forget the feeling of her body in my arms. I savored the thought of being with her again.

  I arrived over the park near her house and looked for a secluded spot. There was no one in the park at this hour, but there was no point in taking useless risks. When we were off-planet, we had a habit of keeping ourselves hidden when we had our wings out.

  I swooped down silently, feeling a mild jolt as I passed through the force field preventing light from escaping the city. I landed lightly on my feet behind a large bush.

  My wings were going to stay deployed for now. I never wanted to take out my wings more than necessary. I was going to have to use them again to reach Jayne and return to the hotel.

  I stayed out of sight in the shadows. When I heard a noise above me, I looked up to see my brother landing next to me. He had a big grin on his face.

  Flying was truly Ayrie’s first love. There was nothing he liked to do more than be in the air. He had told me many times that one of his life goals was to taste the air on every habitable planet. If we weren’t out looking for women, he would have joined the Aeronautical Academy. It was an exhausting job, and not everyone could do it.

  We embraced each other, but other noises distracted me. Three other noises. One by one, my other brothers landed beside us. I gave Ayrie a dirty look.

  “I didn’t realize this was going to be a party.” I glowered at them. I had imagined going in, giving Jayne the memory wipe, and get out of there quickly. I didn’t want the attention or the ruckus of a group of five.

  Ayrie and I were the oldest brothers. Avren and Allex were the youngest. Anders was in the middle. I looked at him curiously, and he shrugged. He had never cared what I thought, being the stereotypical middle child. Difficult, always pushing the boundaries, and never happy with what he had.

  Avren looked completely unconcerned about anything. “Don’t worry, big brother. We’ll be quiet. And we’ll stay hidden.”

  I shook my head. “Five large, winged men will have a hard time breathing without anyone noticing. Do we need everyone to do a simple mind wipe?”

  He laughed then. “There was no way we were going to remain grounded when we found out you and Ayrie were going to fly. You know us better than that.” Avren raised a finger, letting the scientist inside his soul out to give a quick lecture. “Besides, if we don’t fly on a regular basis, our wings can get infected. You know that. You should have invited us for medical reasons.”

  I rolled my eyes. “If you feel like you need to fly because you are afraid of an itch, go ahead. I’m not stopping you. Ayrie was supposed to be discrete. You could have gone back to the ship, whip your wings out, and no one would have seen you.”

  Ayrie shrugged helplessly. “They caught me shirtless on the balcony. What was I supposed to tell them? They weren’t going to believe I was tanning at ten o’clock at night.”

  I smiled in spite of myself. “I assume Ayrie filled you in on my mistake.” I felt ashamed revealing my transgression in front of my family. They all nodded, and none of them mocked me, for which I was grateful.

  “If you don’t want us here, we’ll leave,” Allex said. I could tell that he didn’t expect me to force them away.

  Allex and I got along well. We were eight years apart. I took care of everyone after Mom died, but there was a special bond between us. I knew he looked up to me and would never admit it.

  I was annoyed that they were here, but I didn’t want to make any of them unhappy. I understood their need to fly. I felt it too, despite the pain.

  “I don’t want you to go, but we need to make sure that no one sees us.”

  “Your girlfriend’s going to see us, right?” Anders smirked. He was always trying to get under my skin.
>
  “She’s not my girlfriend.”

  “Beloved, perhaps?”

  I shook my head. He wasn’t going to bait me into responding to him. I held up a syringe with the solution inside. Did I want to do this to her? Earlier it would have been used on a nameless female I would never see again.

  Now I was about to use it on a person. It felt like I was betraying Jayne. But it was better to betray her than my planet.

  “She’ll be asleep by now. All I have to do is give her a single injection. It’s a one-man job.”

  “How do you know she’s going to be sleeping?” Avren was always practical.

  “It’s the middle of the night. Don’t you think the humans sleep?” I wondered if I was right. If we had to wait for Jayne to go to bed, it was going to be a long night. “I’ll fly up and do some reconnaissance before I enter. She has a balcony.”

  Anders frowned. “Do I smell smoke?”

  “Haven’t you heard the news? Wildfires are burning outside the city. Apparently they’re under control.”

  “We didn’t see anything on our way over here. The light pollution force field must be hiding the fires.” Ayrie looked at the others for confirmation. There was a murmur of agreement.

  “It’s not our problem right now. Let’s fly.” I pumped my wings and leaped into the air, feeling sweet freedom as I soared. I heard my brothers take off behind me. In a few minutes, we were over Jayne’s house, descending in silence. I landed on the balcony while the others touched down quietly in the backyard.

  Jayne had left her door open again. I wondered if there was a lot of crime on Earth. They must have an excellent security system if her parents let her leave the house unguarded all the time. It probably identified intruders on foot, not those coming in through the sky.

  The smell of smoke was stronger here than in the air.

  I pushed back the sheer white curtains and saw Jayne lying on the bed with her eyes closed. It certainly looked like she was asleep. She wore a thin camisole with spaghetti straps on top and a pair of shorts covering her waist. She had thrown off the covers and lay with one arm over her head.