Blaze

by Nina Levine

  “Why?” I almost whispered, afraid of the answer. My legs felt shaky and chills surged through me. I reached out and gripped the top of the chair to steady myself. His eyes flicked to my hand on the chair, and then back up to my face. “Because I didn’t want to shatter your world completely,” he answered me softly. I didn’t say anything, just stared at him, waiting for him to continue. He took a deep breath before going on. “Your father showed another side of himself to me while I was away, a side that you won’t like, and I was trying to shelter you from that. Problem was that I was also trying not to have secrets between us. So, I’ve been fucking stuck between the two, not knowing how to proceed.”

  Relief coursed through me. I thought that he’d been going to tell me something about himself, something that would affect our relationship. This was better; this I could cope with. “You can tell me anything about my dad, J. I already know what an asshole he is.”

  “I know you think you hate him, but all that aside, he’s your father. He’s the fucking man who raised you. He should be the man you assess all other men by; the man who should always be setting an example for you. And as much as you don’t want anything to do with him now, I’d have bet that over time you two would have found your way back. I fucking prayed for that, babe, because a life without a father in it fucking sucks. So, this shit I know now, it’s probably gonna destroy any love you might have left.” He paused and searched my face. “That’s why I couldn’t talk to you. That’s why I was distant. I fucking wanted to be with you but I couldn’t find the way to do that while I was keeping this secret.”

  My heart swelled with love for him. “I get it, baby,” I said, and laid a hand on his chest. “But you can tell me now; I’ve got you to help me deal with it.”

  “Yeah, you do,” he said, a sad smile threatening his lips. “Your father sent me to the Adelaide chapter, said he wanted me to check out a suspected paedophile in the club. Made out like he wasn’t sure if the guy was that or not. Turned out that he’d known he was and he’d known that for about a year. Known what the cunt was doing and fucking let it happen. All so he could wait to use it against the guy when it suited his purpose. He also knew there were others. It makes me sick that he let that shit go on for a year.”

  My legs threatened to give way and I fought the rising bile. In that moment, I truly hated my father. I thought I already hated him as much as was possible but now I realised that J was right; I’d still had some love and hope there, but now, that was completely fading. “How could someone do that?” I gasped.

  “I don’t know, babe.”

  I had to sit; my legs couldn’t support me anymore. J sat next to me, concerned eyes never leaving mine. “What did you do?” I asked him.

  His chest rose and fell in a heavy movement. After a short moment, he said, “I killed him and two other guys. Not gonna detail that for you, sweetheart, but I don’t want that a secret between us.”

  It didn’t surprise me that he’d done that, and while thinking that, a horrible revelation came to me. “Dad played on your past didn’t he? The stuff that happened to your cousin.”

  Pain flared on his face, and he nodded. “Yeah, he did.”

  “You said he waited till it suited his purpose. Why now?”

  “The guy was the VP and was blocking a drug deal that the President wanted passed. Marcus helped him achieve that by using me.”

  My mind was racing to process all this. “Where are you and Dad at now?”

  “He told me today that he wants me to do some more jobs for him. I’m not though. I’m done with him. And if he wants me out of the club, he can fucking fight for that because I’m not backing down and I’m not leaving.”

  “Scott won’t let that happen.”

  “No, but your father has an agenda, babe. He told me he won’t let me marry you.”

  Butterflies hit my stomach at his words. “We’re getting married?”

  His forehead creased. “Of course, we’re fucking getting married. Told him he’s got no say in it.”

  I smiled; a huge smile, because in amongst all the awful stuff he’d told me, he’d given me the one thing I really needed to hear. I leant my face to his and lightly kissed him. “He’s got no say in it,” I promised.

  Now he smiled. “I know.” His hand curled around my neck and he rested his forehead against mine. “Fuck babe, it feels so good not to have all that shit between us anymore; as much as I hate you having to deal with it.”

  My arms circled him. “I’m glad you finally told me. I was beginning to go insane wondering what the hell was going on with you.”

  We sat there like that for a long time. I savoured the closeness and the feeling of fresh beginnings. J was finally mine again; completely mine. I chose to focus on this for the moment rather than on the sense of loss I felt over my father.

  Chapter 7

  Jason

  I sat back and watched Madison, Brooke and Crystal, and not for the first time this week, I realised I was a lucky bastard. It had been almost a week since I’d finally told Madison about her father, and while it’d been a long fucking week dealing with the emotional fallout of that, it’d also been a fucking fantastic week with her.

  “J, earth to J,” Brooke called, interrupting my thoughts.

  “What?”

  She shook her head. “You keep zoning out on us. You okay?”

  “He’s probably thinking about club business; it’s always just club business,” Madison teased with a wink. “Brooke wants to know if we want to go to the movies with her and Crystal next Thursday night instead of doing Thursday night dinner.”

  Thursday night dinners had become our new tradition. Brooke and Madison had started it while I was away and they made sure I was there every week; my life wasn’t fucking worth living if I didn’t make it. “Sure,” I agreed, “Whatever you want.”

  Brooke rolled her eyes. “J, you can say no if you’d rather just stick to dinner. It’s a kids movie after all.”

  Fuck me. I hated kids movies. “All good. I’ll be there.” I looked at Crystal to see her staring intently at me. “What are we seeing, kiddo?”

  She hit me with a mega smile. “It’s a dog movie. You’re going to love it, J.”

  Christ, a fucking dog movie. I plastered a smile on my face for her. “Looking forward to it, sweetheart.” Crystal was a good kid; she was still trying to get over her mother and brother’s deaths, and the three of us were working hard to help her. Building a strong family was part of that so a dog movie was the least I could do.

  We finished dinner and Brooke insisted I help her clean up while Madison helped Crystal with an assignment for school.

  “You and Madison seem a hell of a lot happier this week,” she said as we did the dishes.

  “Yeah,” I agreed. I hadn’t mentioned anything about our problems to Brooke so I wondered where this was coming from. “Did Madison say something to you?”

  “No, I’ve got no idea what’s been going on with you two but there’s definitely been tension for the last couple of weeks. You two alright?”

  “We are now. Been a long few months but we’re working on it.” I hated talking about this shit but Brooke was like Madison and invested copious amounts of fucking energy into trying to get me to talk.

  She didn’t fail me today. “When are you going to ask her to marry you? I thought you’d have that all done by now, the bossy ass that you are.”

  “We had shit to sort out,” I muttered.

  “And have you sorted it now?”

  “Fuck, Brooke. Yes, it’s fucking sorted.”

  She turned and looked at me intently. “Good, because I want to see you happy, big brother. You two have been through so much crap and I, for one, want you to get your happy ending. You and I were dealt a crappy hand with our family; Madison changed our luck.”

  “Shit.” She’d stunned me. “I didn’t realise you were such a huge fan of Madison’s after all the shit from years ago.”

  “I spent
a lot of time with her while you were away and we wiped the slate clean. You’ve seen us together; I thought you knew we were closer now.”

  “I’ve been preoccupied. I also thought you were just making an effort for Crystal and me.”

  “Nope. She’s good for you and she’s given both of us the family we never had. Plus she seems to have gotten herself together and worked out how to handle you. I’m surprised she put up with whatever you two had going on between you for so long.”

  “Yeah, you and me both.”

  “So, when are you proposing?”

  “Soon.”

  She smiled at me. “Good. And then we can have some little J’s running around.”

  I grinned at her. “Fuck, we’d drive Madison fucking insane if we had more of me running around. How soon do you reckon I can make that happen?”

  ***

  “Babe, how much longer are you gonna be in there?” I called out to Madison. She’d been in the bathroom for a long fucking time doing her face or some shit, and I’d been waiting for her to come to bed. My patience was running out.

  “Not long. Why?”

  “You never finished what you started this morning, and I’m more than fucking ready for you to do that.” My cock had been hard for her all day, and she’d been at work. Then we’d had the dinner at Brooke’s tonight so there’d been no time when she got home from work. The fucking universe had been against me today.

  She appeared in the doorway between the bathroom and the bedroom, hand on hip. “May I just remind you that I never finished what I started because you got called into work early?”

  Fuck, she was so sexy when I managed to rile her up. I grinned. “You could have finished me off real quick but you didn’t want to.”

  Her mouth fell open. “You’re an ass, J. Sure I could have finished you off but what about me?” She shook her head and turned around to walk back into the bathroom, muttering something about bastards and hand jobs. I fucking loved her sexy mouth and hotheadedness.

  I left her alone for a couple of minutes before heading into the bathroom to see what she was doing. The sight that greeted me almost made me come on the spot. She’d stripped and was standing naked in front of the sink. Currently, she was raised up on her toes and leaning forward to look in the mirror which meant her ass was up and out. I zeroed in on that ass and started walking towards her so I could get my hands on it.

  “Stop,” she ordered.

  Shit. Madison doing bossy was a turn on. I did what she said and found her gaze looking back at me in the mirror.

  “Touch my ass and you’ll be going without tonight,” she said.

  I raised my eyebrows and folded my arms across my chest. Smirking at her, I said, “Sweetheart, I’m not going without tonight.”

  She raised her brows back at me. “Oh really, J? Got that hand ready, have you?”

  “Don’t need it; got something better. Something that never fucking says no to me.”

  “And that would be?”

  I moved to her, my front brushing up against her back, and slid my hands around her waist, letting them dip down to her pussy. Running a finger between her wet lips, I murmured in her ear, “This.”

  Her head fell back on my shoulder and she moaned. Then she murmured back to me, “I think I love you.”

  I moved my face to brush my lips across her temple, and thrust my finger in further and with more force. “You think?”

  “Well, we could move it up to a ‘I know for sure’ with a little more coaxing.”

  I withdrew my finger, and lightly circled her clit before stopping altogether. “How about without a little coaxing? You think it would take long for you to admit it?”

  She didn’t miss a beat. “I’d probably admit it a whole lot quicker if you were to take that cock of yours that I love and show me what you can do with it.”

  Fuck. My cock was straining against my pants, more than ready to show her, but I wanted to take her to the edge and make her cave first. I moved my hand to her nipple and rubbed it. “My cock wants to hear your words just as much as I do, baby.”

  She swivelled around to face me. Her hand went to my dick but I caught it and stopped her. I realised that Madison’s game playing skills were much better than mine when she began touching herself with her other hand. My gaze moved to her pussy instantly; I was a fool for her when she touched herself.

  “Fuck, you play dirty, woman,” I growled, and dropped to my knees and pushed her hand out of the way. My tongue darted out to lick her pink lips and my hands grasped her ass, pulling her sweet pussy to my mouth.

  Her hand grabbed my hair, she moaned, and then murmured, “I know I love you, J.”

  I groaned. This had started out as me telling her that I wanted her to finish what she’d started this morning. Now here I was, on my knees and at her mercy. My woman fucking owned me.

  Chapter 8

  Jason

  “J, I’m busy. I don’t have time to go for a ride with you today. Dinner at Brooke’s last night meant that I didn’t get any housework done that I really needed done by tomorrow.” Madison argued with me in the frustrated tone she reserved for when she was especially annoyed at me rather than just mildly annoyed at me.

  I wasn’t taking no for an answer though. “Too bad. You’re coming,” I said forcefully, in the tone that I used when I wasn’t giving her a choice.

  Her head snapped up from the dishes she was doing. “So you’re going to help me finish off the housework when we get back? I want this house spotless when everyone comes over tomorrow.”

  At this point, I’d have promised her the fucking world just to get her on the back of my bike this afternoon. “Yes.”

  She lifted her hand out of the water and pointed her finger at me, splashing water on the floor. “Okay, but you promised, so I’m not letting you out of it.”

  I nodded in a hurry the fuck up motion. “Let’s move this along, babe. Running out of afternoon the longer we stand here.”

  She blew out an exasperated sigh, and muttered, “Not sure why this is so important that we have to do it right now.”

  I smacked her on the ass, my anxiety to get her moving reaching an extreme level. “Now, babe. We gotta go.”

  ***

  An hour later we arrived at our destination, and Madison turned to me in surprise after she got off the bike and removed her helmet. “We haven’t been here for ages,” she said softly.

  I ran my thumb over her cheek. “Yeah, thought it was time.”

  Her face slowly broke out in a smile. I got off the bike and grabbed her hand, and led her to the clearing. The view from Mt Glorious always stunned me. I could sit here for hours just staring at the view and thinking about shit. I moved behind her, put my arms around her and leant my chin on her shoulder. We didn’t say a word; didn’t need to. This was our place and all we needed was each other and the silence.

  Eventually, I murmured, “I love you, Madison Cole.”

  I couldn’t see it, but I could hear the smile in her voice when she said, “I love you too, Jason Reilly.”

  I moved my arms so that I could turn her around to face me. My eyes searched hers and I dipped my head and kissed her. Slowly. Deeply.

  We pulled apart, and I said gruffly, “This is where I decided to make you mine.”

  She nodded. “I know, baby.” Her hand rested on my chest, and I moved my hand around to rest on her ass. She smiled at that; she couldn’t get enough of that, and neither could I. I knew I never would.

  “This is where I’m gonna make sure you’re mine forever.”

  Her eyes widened and her face flushed with colour.

  I kept one hand on her ass and with the other, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the little blue box I’d been carrying around for fucking weeks. Reluctantly, I had to move my hand off her ass because I needed it to open the box. I flipped the lid to reveal a diamond ring that cost me a small fucking fortune.

  Her breathing had picked up and her chest was ris
ing and falling fast. And there was a huge fucking smile on her face.

  “Baby, will you make me the happiest fucker on this planet by marrying me?”

  She grabbed the ring off me and shoved it straight on her finger, then jumped up into my arms and wrapped herself around me. After she kissed me hard, she breathed out, “Yes.”

  I held onto her for a little while longer and then let her down. “Thank fuck,” I said.

  She frowned slightly. “You knew I’d say yes, right?”

  “Sometimes you make me work for it, babe, so I wasn’t sure if today would be one of those occasions.”

  She held up her hand with the ring on it. “J, I’d say you nailed it with this baby,” she said, grinning, but then her face took on a serious look, “There’s no way I was ever saying no to you. I wasn’t letting you go again. We’re a forever deal now, okay?”

  “Trust me, sweetheart, you haven’t got a hope in hell of ever getting rid of me.”

  “Ditto,” she said.

  She reached out and hugged me, and I let my hands run up and down her body. And I decided I really was the happiest fucker on Earth right now.

  Chapter 9

  Madison

  “Show me that ring!” Harlow exclaimed, grabbing my hand. “Oh my God, it’s huge! And how did he know that you love Tiffany rings?”

  Before I could answer, Brooke wandered into the kitchen where we were, and interjected, “I might have had something to do with that. Not that I realised it at the time, but I was browsing the Tiffany website one day when J was at my house. I casually mentioned something about you loving a particular ring. Remember, you showed it to me once?”

  I nodded. “Yes, I do remember. Thank God for that! And shit, he actually paid attention to what you said.” I was so impressed with J at the moment, and he was reaping the rewards of that; we’d had so much sex last night and this morning that I wasn’t sure I had the energy to get through this party.

  “Where’s the birthday boy?” Brooke asked.