The Secret Note

by Lauren Rowe

  “Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. As long as I’m the only guy you’re taking it day by day with.”

  “Fine. Good.” I pat his hand. “Good talk.”

  “Come here.” He pulls me to him and I rest my cheek on his chest.

  “Damn, I’m suddenly wiped out,” I say, yawning.

  “Sleep,” he says softly.

  I feel his fingertips glide softly down my back and my eyelids turn heavy.

  “I’ve had a blast with you tonight, Kaylee,” he says, his chest rising and falling underneath my cheek.

  “Same here,” I say softly. They’re the last words I say before falling into blissful sleep in his arms.

  Five

  Three Months Later . . .

  * * *

  I snuggle up to Ben’s naked body in my bed and read from the script page in my hand—the lines Ben’s been dutifully practicing for his big audition tomorrow. “These are evil men,” I say. “We can’t defeat them, just you and me, Trent. We’d need an army. Oh, God, I’m so scared, Trent.”

  “Don’t be scared, Lenora,” Ben coos, using his best American accent—which, I’ve got to admit, ain’t so great. “As long as we’re together,” he continues, his deep voice rumbling underneath my cheek, “we can conquer anything—even Gershwin and his goons.”

  “Goons,” I correct.

  “Goons. Goons?”

  “Goons.”

  “Goons?”

  “Better,” I lie.

  “Damn. That’s a tough one. Goons.”

  “You’ve got it,” I say, simply because I truly don’t think he’ll ever get it and I don’t want him to feel self-conscious about it during the audition. But, yeah, I’m totally lying. He didn’t get it. “That was almost perfect, babe. Just a little tweak with a vocal coach after you get the part and you’ll be golden.” He squeezes me. And I can tell by his body language, his mind is racing with anxiety about tomorrow. “Keep going,” I say softly. “Don’t worry about the accent. That’s icing. The cake is you. Your charisma. Your charm. That’s why they’ve given you three callbacks.”

  Ben clears his throat. “Let them send their tanks. Let them fire their bazookas.”

  “Fire their bazookas,” I say, correcting his accent again. “Fire.”

  “Fire their bazookas.”

  I giggle. I don’t mean to do it, but he’s so damned cute I can’t help myself.

  “Shit. I think Trent ate an Aussie for dinner last night,” he says. He groans and throws his head back against my pillow. “Fuck. I’m not gonna get it.”

  “You will. There’s no doubt in my mind.” I thread my fingers in his. “Don’t worry about the accent thing, babe. Just go in there and dazzle them and melt their panties. That’s the thing they care about, not how you say fire. If they want you badly enough, they’ll just rewrite Trent as Australian. Easy peasy.”

  “They can’t do that, babe. Fans of the books would riot if Trent Dowager talked like an Aussie.”

  “Well, I happen to think Aussies are sexy as fuck.” I throw the script onto my nightstand and then, in one fluid motion, straddle him.

  He shoots me a huge, sexy smile and immediately brings his large palms to my naked breasts. “Hello, gorgeous.”

  “Hello.”

  “What would I do without you?” he asks.

  “Lie around being very gorgeous but very sad.”

  “Fuckin’ oath, I would. I’d be bloody miserable.”

  I run my fingers over his chest . . . and lean down to kiss him . . . but suddenly, the look on his face makes me freeze before our lips connect. “What?”

  “You know what.”

  “No, Ben.”

  “Yes.”

  “No.”

  He laughs. “Yes.”

  “No.”

  “I have to say it, Kaylee. I can’t hold back anymore. Your six-month rule is stupid and I won’t obey it any longer. I refuse.”

  I sit up and cover my ears. “La la la no!”

  He sits up and grabs my wrists and pulls my hands off my ears. “I love you.”

  I shriek. “No! Too soon! Too soon!”

  He laughs. “I love you!”

  “No!”

  “I do! I love you with all my heart and soul!”

  I shriek again. “No! I’m melting! I’m melting!” But I must admit, my heart feels like it’s about to burst. My soul is flying around the room. I feel happier than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I sigh and smile down at him and then say, simply, “I love you, too.” Oh, the smile on my beautiful Ben’s face! It’s slaying me. Giving me eternal life. With a huge smile, I add, “With all my heart and soul.”

  “Good. Glad it’s mutual.”

  “Oh, it’s very mutual.”

  Ben bites his lower lip. “Let’s move in together. Fuck it. We now officially love each other, right? We spend so much time together there’s no point in us having two places. And I, for one, am never gonna love someone else, ever, ever, ever—so let’s do this.”

  I twist my mouth but remain mute.

  He slides his palms on either side of my rib cage. “Kaylee, I love you. I want you. The minute you stop wanting me back, you’ll go. But until then, move in with me.”

  I can’t help smiling like a goof. “Okay.”

  His face lights up. “Seriously?”

  I nod. “Let’s do it. Whose place? Mine or yours?”

  He looks euphoric. “I tell you what. If I don’t get the part, then I’ll move in here. But if I do get the part, then I’ll rent us a house on the beach with my big, fat paycheck.”

  I bite my lower lip. “Sounds good.” I glance at the clock. “Shit. I’m gonna be late for my class if I don’t get going.”

  “Hang on a sec.”

  I stop and look at him. My heart is racing.

  “Say it one more time, just so I know it wasn’t a dream.”

  I smile shyly. “I love you.”

  He sighs dramatically. “Best three words in the English language.”

  Six

  I’m lying on my couch, freaking out. I check my phone again. Will it to ring. Check to see if Ben has texted me. Nothing. I look at the clock again. I’d have thought Ben’s big audition—his fourth callback—would be over by now. He promised to call the minute it was over to tell me how it went. Why hasn’t he called yet? There’s a noise at the door. I look up. Ben.

  I hold my breath. I can’t read his face. He might be holding back a smile. And he might be trying to smile through abject misery. “How’d it go?” I ask tentatively.

  Defeat. It flickers across his face. “They’re gonna go with another guy.”

  I get up and hug him. “Aw, baby. I’m sorry.”

  He wraps me in his muscular arms.

  “For Trent,” he adds. And then he laughs. “Last minute, they decided to cast me as Gabe.”

  I pull back. “What? Oh my God!”

  “They’re gonna rewrite Gabe as Australian!”

  I whoop with laughter and throw my arms around his neck . . . and then, out of nowhere, burst into tears of relief. I squeeze him tight and he wraps his arms around me and holds me and we stay like that for a very long time.

  “The paycheck’s not much,” he says after a moment. “I won’t be able to afford renting us that house on the beach just yet.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I say. I wipe my eyes. “I don’t care about that. I just . . .” Emotion floods me again. I press my lips together, unable to continue.

  Ben’s beautiful face contorts with concern. He wipes my tears. “What is it, sweetheart?”

  I gather myself. “I was so damned nervous waiting here for you, Ben. And not about this part, specifically. There will be other parts for you. Bigger parts. I was nervous because I knew you wanted this part so badly—and I desperately want you to be happy. Because I . . .” I swallow hard. I know I’ve already told Ben I love him. But in this moment, it’s suddenly clear to me what the words mean. That his happiness means even more to me
than my own. “Because I love you more than literally anything,” I whisper, shocking myself.

  Ben’s face is the portrait of a man completely bowled over. He lays his palms on my cheeks and kisses me with deep passion, making me melt like a puddle.

  “Marry me,” he whispers, his eyes ablaze. “Marry me, Kaylee Rae. Be my wife.”

  My mouth hangs open. I can’t speak.

  He smiles. “Do you want anyone else?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Then give me one good reason why we shouldn’t make this official.”

  I shake my head. “Ben, we’ve been together for three months.”

  “And seven years.”

  I make a face like that’s patently ridiculous.

  His dark eyes are amused.

  “I’m not a believer in marriage. You know that.”

  “Well, I am.”

  I open and close my mouth.

  “I’m not your father, baby,” he says. “You’ve owned my heart for a very long time and you always will. I’m not going anywhere. Ever.”

  I smash my lips together. My brain is melting. I never thought I’d feel this kind of love, ever. But . . . marriage?

  Ben grabs my hands. “I want you to be my wife. The mother of my babies. I don’t want to move in with my girlfriend. I want to make a home with my wife. And I want to do it before my career takes off—if it does.”

  “It will. It absolutely will.”

  “Well, then. Let’s do it. Let’s commit to this crazy ride together. You and me.”

  I feel like I’m going to hyperventilate. I’ve always said I’ll never get married. Not after my parents’ messy divorce. Not after watching their love morph into bitter hate. But, by God, I want to be with Ben forever. I know I do. And yet . . . Ben’s career is just beginning to take off. Who knows what adventures will await him when he’s a big star? “Let’s take it one step at a time,” I say. “We’ll move in together and take it from there.”

  Ben eyes me for a very long time like I’m some sort of Sudoku puzzle he can’t quite make out. “Bloody hell, you’re a tough nut to crack, Kaylee Rae.” He smiles. “But you know what, sweetheart? You’ve met your match.”

  “Is that so?”

  “It is.” He winks. “I happen to be a highly motivated nutcracker.”

  Seven

  Two months later . . .

  * * *

  Everyone is having a blast around the campfire, talking and laughing and singing while my brother, Carter, plays his guitar and stares at his girlfriend’s boobs. Ben and I hadn’t planned on joining Carter and his crew on this trip, but when Carter mentioned it, we decided to join in on a whim. Why not? Ben had just finished shooting his scenes for the Trent Dowager movie and won’t be shooting that TV pilot for another two weeks, and Tatiana and her new boyfriend said they’d love to come, too. So off we went.

  Ben sits next to me and hands me a bottle of beer.

  “Thanks,” I say. I bring the bottle to my lips . . . and suddenly realize the paper label wrapped around the bottle isn’t a label at all. It’s a note. Smiling, I unfold the scrap of paper . . . and instantly smile wickedly.

  Feel free to come into my sleeping bag tonight after your brother and everyone else have gone to sleep. No need to bring a condom. If we make a baby, that’s perfectly fine with me because I intend to make you my wife. Ben

  I turn to look at him and find him smiling broadly. He raises his eyebrows like he’s asking me if I’ll come. I make a face like, “Maybe, maybe not,” and he laughs. But, of course, I slide my hand in his and squeeze, telling him I can’t wait.

  Several hours later, while hanging out with Tatiana and her boyfriend next to what used to be a roaring campfire, I look around and suddenly realize Ben is nowhere to be found.

  “Oh,” I say out loud. I pop up. “I think I’m gonna hit the sack, guys.”

  “Yeah, we’d better hit it, too.”

  We say our good-nights.

  I make my way in the dark to the tent Ben set up for us for the night. Once there, I poke my head into the tent and whisper, “Ben?”

  “Kaylee?” comes Ben’s familiar voice.

  I chuckle. “Yeah. Can I come in?”

  “I’m naked. Is that a problem?”

  “Fuck no.” I enter the tent, every cell in my body surging with joy, and begin stripping off my clothes. “It’s fucking freezing,” I say.

  “Get in here and I’ll warm you up,” comes the sexy reply.

  “I can’t see,” I say. “Turn on the light on your phone, babe.”

  I hear Ben shuffle around. And then a dim light fills the tent. Just enough light for me to make out Ben’s smiling face in the sleeping bag . . . and the sparkling ring he’s holding up toward me.

  My jaw drops.

  “You want to come into my sleeping bag?” Ben says, a huge smile on his face. “Then say yes. That’s the password. Say yes, Kaylee. Otherwise, you can stand out there all night long and freeze your perfect tits off.”

  I laugh.

  “Say yes.”

  My naked flesh is covered in goose bumps. My chest is heaving. “What’s the question, again?”

  “Will. You. Marry. Me?”

  Every cell in my body surges with certainty. Love. Joy. He’s right. I’m a tough nut to crack. But he’s also right that he’s a damned talented nutcracker. “Yes.”

  He whoops loudly. “Get your hot arse in here right fucking now!”

  He opens the sleeping bag to me and I practically dive inside. He slides the ring on my finger and pulls me in for the most euphoric kiss of my life. In short order, we’re mutually swept away in each other, our lips and tongues and fingers busy. And when Ben finally pushes inside me without a condom for the first time in our relationship, every nerve ending in my body comes alive all at once. I’ve never let down my walls and loved this completely before. I’ve never felt so utterly and completely loved.

  “I love you,” I gasp out as an orgasm rips through me.

  “I love you, baby,” Ben replies, just before he unleashes inside me . . . and as I feel his erection rippling and his seed spilling inside me, I’m not the least bit anxious we might be making a baby in this instant. In fact, I’m surprised to realize I hope we are.

  When we’re both quiet, Ben takes my face in his big hands and nuzzles my nose with his. “Mrs. Ben Watson,” he says. “I can’t wait.”

  Epilogue

  Eight years later

  Coconino National Forest, Northern Arizona

  * * *

  As I approach the campfire, holding drinks, everyone is having a blast, talking and laughing while my brother plays his guitar and stares at his pregnant wife’s massive boobs. It’s the first time we’ve left the baby, but she’ll be fine with her two older siblings and Ben’s parents, who are visiting from Melbourne. Indeed, Ben’s parents encouraged us to take a weekend with our best friends without our kids. “You haven’t had a chance to unplug and unwind, just the two of you, in so long,” Ben’s mom said. “Go and have fun.”

  So we went. Because we both desperately needed a break from The Machine. That’s what Ben and I call Hollywood and its never-ending appetite for all things Ben Watson.

  I hand Tatiana and her husband bottles of beer and they thank me and clink. I hand Ben a bottle of beer wrapped in a scrap of paper . . . and then take a seat next to him.

  “Cheers,” he says, clinking my beer with his.

  “Cheers.”

  As Ben brings his bottle to his lips, I can feel him noticing the paper I’ve slipped him along with his beer, but I don’t look. I keep my eyes trained on my brother playing guitar. But when I sense Ben’s hands unfolding the note out the corner of my eye, I can’t help grinning like a Cheshire cat.

  Feel free to come into my sleeping bag tonight after my brother and everyone else have gone to sleep. No need to bring a condom. If we make a fourth baby, that’s perfectly fine with me. Why? Because I love you with all my heart and soul, my
beautiful husband. And I always will. Forever and ever. Forever yours, Mrs. Watson

  Thank you for reading. Looking for more books from Lauren?

  The Bestselling REED RIVERS TRILOGY, a scorching hot, enemies to lovers romance is complete! Start reading today with Bad Liar.

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  Or you can start reading about the Morgan Brothers - Colby, Ryan, Keane, and Dax, plus their best friend, Zander? The recommended reading order is:

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  Hero

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  Ball Peen Hammer

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  Mister Bodyguard

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  ROCKSTAR

  (Dax, a rockstar romance),

  These are all standalones that can be read in any order.

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  Acknowledgments

  A quick note of thanks from Lauren Rowe: Big thanks to my Aussie friend, Madonna Blackburn, for helping me make Ben talk like an authentic Australian! You’re the best! Mwah!