In Time to Love

by Gloria Martin

  “I know, but…” I try, but he isn’t letting me get a word in edgeways.

  “And that alien scum you were with; they’re going to pay the price for what happened to you.” He stands up, looming, exerting his dominance over me – a technique I remember him using when I was young.

  “But I just told you that they saved me. They saved us.”

  “This time Angie,” he grabs me by the scruff of my neck, bringing me closer to him, “you have to choose. Us, or them.”

  “But I…” What the hell is he going on about? And has that madness always been there behind his eyes? He’s acting like he’s fully lost it, which makes me question all that I’ve missed over the past years.

  “Choose right, and you’ll be freed this moment.”

  So I really am a prisoner here. Captured and locked away by my own flesh and blood.

  “And if I don’t?” I ask, with the same defiance that he always seems to bring out in me, even when I know that the consequences could be dire.

  He throws me back until I hit the ground, distain filling his expression. “Then you can stay here and die alongside them.”

  Them?

  At that moment, as if it’s been perfectly choreographed, Wrotg and Arlaf are shoved into the room with me, looking battered and beaten. They clearly have been through a dreadful time, and I can’t stop myself from rushing to their side, to tend to their wounds, even though my father is watching, hating me with every inch of him.

  Then, I sense him turn on his heels and stalk from the room.

  “The aliens gave you the technology to win!” I cry out pointlessly after him, but he doesn’t even acknowledge me.

  It’s as if I’m already dead to him.

  *****

  It isn’t long before the audio waves start being emitted, putting Wrotg and Arlaf through even more pain than before. I’m just sitting with them, helpless, wishing that I could do anything to help them.

  They saved me, and now I’ve gotten them into this mess and there isn’t a damn thing that I can do to make it better.

  Things are spiraling out of my control, and I hate that.

  This time alone with the alien twins is making me even more confused. My feelings have intensified, which may be down to our close quarters, or the impending end of our lives, but locked in here with them, I almost can’t resist.

  I hug them both sporadically, not even caring that my father has men watching us. The damage has been done now; it’s far too late to do anything about it.

  And then, a few days later my dad returns to me, to all of us, with a bargain of sorts.

  “I want you all to know that I have my daughter’s best interests at heart.” I roll my eyes as he lies through his teeth. “She cannot be near you two, after what your race did to our planet. The audio waves are already being emitted, and your race is already leaving. All I ask is that you go too.” He steps closer to the twins, the threat evident in his tone. “If you don’t, I’m afraid I will be forced to kill all three of you.”

  “We will go,” Arlaf jumps in quickly, not even giving me the opportunity to voice my opinion. Of course logically I know this is the best solution, the only one, but I so desperately don’t want that to be the case.

  I can’t bear it. How will my life go on without them?

  “Fine,” my dad answers, shooting me a smug ‘I won’ type look. “I will have everything set up for your departure tomorrow.”

  The tears are already streaming down my cheeks, but of course my dad doesn’t care. He only sees me as the enemy now, as someone else that he needs to defeat. I’m no longer his daughter – I haven’t been since I left this colony – and I guess I never will be again.

  When the war is over, and the Nya leave, when Wrotg and Arlaf go, I will be more alone than I’ve ever been before…

  *****

  As soon as my father goes, I allow myself to collapse fully into sobs, feeling them rack through my entire body. Wrotg and Arlaf try to comfort me, but that’s an impossible task. My heart is too damn shattered.

  “Come on,” Wrotg finally whispers into my ear. “Let’s enjoy our last night together.”

  “We can’t,” I mutter, frustrated that even our last night together won’t be free. “They’re watching us.”

  “Not if I knock out the guard.” Arlaf speaks gruffly next to me.

  “If you knock out the guard, we can escape, we can leave.” I start to feel an excited hope. Maybe this doesn’t have to be the end to us after all.

  “We cannot,” he replies sadly, shattering me all over again. “We can knock out the room guard, and enjoy some peace, but there are too many of them just on the outside. We cannot take them all on. They will kill us for sure.

  “Okay,” I eventually agree, not seeing any other option. “Do that. At least we can enjoy our last night.”

  As soon as the job is done, I feel almost an immediate shift in the atmosphere. I had wanted to enjoy some peace with the men that I feel so strongly for, but now I can sense that something else is about to take place, something that I never thought would happen again.

  We’re about to have a repeat of the cave.

  As soon as that thought hits me, Arlaf’s mouth is on me, his hands and tentacles are coving my body. I feel myself quickly getting lost all over again, but just before I do, there’s one more thing I need.

  “Wait,” I pant heavily, pushing them both away from me. “I want to see you.”

  On request, they both begin to strip, revealing their perfectly sculpted human bodies – the likes of which I’m sure I’ll never be able to get for real.

  But that isn’t what I mean.

  “No, I want to see the real you. I want to see what you look like.”

  “Are you sure?” Wrotg asks nervously, and I nod quickly as a reply. If they go tomorrow, and I’ve not seen their true forms, I’ll always wonder, and I’ll always regret not asking.

  Wrotg shifts and bubbles, becoming something totally new, something reddish and beautiful. Then Arlaf follows, showing me that purple I saw a flash of the last time we were together. They are truly alien, nothing like me or any other human, but in that moment, they’re perfect to me.

  So perfect that I could cry.

  Sensing my sadness, they shift back, returning to the men that I’ve come to know so well.

  “Is that… are you okay?” Wrotg asks, as sweet and as thoughtful as ever.

  “I’m fine.” I nod, trying to disguise the tears. “I just don’t want you to go.”

  Arlaf doesn’t allow me to get emotional, which is exactly what I need in that moment. Instead, he tugs me towards him, and he kisses me with a fiery passion that makes me forget absolutely everything.

  It’s hard, the knowledge that they’re still leaving remains in the back of my mind, but I’m still able to lose myself in the sensations that are flowing through my body as Wrotg and Arlaf explore me, shifting their shapes and experimenting much more than last time.

  The orgasms that crash through my body are intense, all powerful, but also bittersweet. I’m glad this has happened, that we’ve had the chance to be together once more, but it makes me even sadder to be losing them.

  There has to be something I can do. There must be a solution here, I just need to think.

  *****

  They’ve gone. They’ve really gone.

  I couldn’t solve it. I tried, I really did, but it was already too late. There was nothing I could do.

  I stood there, watching them leave. I saw the ship take off with my own eyes. They vanished from sight without even a glance back, without any kind of emotional goodbye. Of course, I have no real idea to how their culture works in this sort of scenario, but I do know that I’m gutted. I know that my heart is ruined, and that I might never be the same again.

  Everyone else is over the moon to finally have our planet back; they’re practically throwing a party. I don’t think I ever would have been that happy for life to return to what the others consid
er ‘normal’, but now I’m absolutely devastated.

  Life in the war has been my entire life; it’s all that I know. Even without the fact that I’ve just lost the men that I really think I might love, I would be hating this. The long bleak future that stretches out ahead of me is almost unbearable.

  My dad has been serendipitously shooting me looks over the last few hours, wanting me to acknowledge the fact that he’s won, but I refuse to even see him. I may be dead to him, but so is he to me. In fact, I might just leave this colony all over again. Everyone else might be happy to live under his control, but there’s no way that I can do it again.

  ***

  But I don’t go. I’m too depressed to even think about leaving. I simply stay, existing, doing only what needs to be done to get by. My dad is loving his new found role, relishing being in charge, but even that isn’t enough to give me the motivation to go.

  Everyone now has homes, jobs, structure… they all think that he’s the best thing in the entire world. Even I have a place in this new found society, but I still don’t feel a part of it. I still feel like an outsider.

  I know that I could be making a real go of things here, I really could be making an effort, but I don’t want to. I just want to exist for as long as I can until… well, I don’t know really. I don’t exactly have a plan.

  I guess I’ll just figure that out as I go along.

  *****

  Then, all of a sudden as if from nowhere, everything takes a turn for the worse. I become so incredibly ill that I’m convinced I’m going to die. It’s the only thing that makes me glad I stayed; at least here I don’t have to be completely by myself in this horrific situation. I can go and see a doctor any time I like.

  And I will, as soon as I work up the ability to move.

  I’m sick, sweaty, flu like, and I have no idea where from. There isn’t even anything going around. It came on so quickly, and has stuck around for far too long to be normal.

  I need to see a medical professional soon. I just need to be able to get up and move without violently vomiting.

  It takes me a couple of days, but I eventually make my way to the front door. It’s a horrible journey, which makes me feel a million times worse, but I’m too afraid to stay in any longer. I don’t want to die, not here, not alone, not like this.

  As I stagger through the streets of our new community, I’m aware of all the eyes on me, but no one stops to speak to me, or to help me. They all know who I am, and they’re aware that my dad hates me, so none of them bother to talk to me. Of course they don’t want to hear my side, why would they, I’m the betrayer.

  “Okay.” the doctor finally says, in a bored sounding voice. “We don’t have the ultrasound technology to do any dating or checks, but I can confirm from your bloodwork that you’re pregnant.”

  There has been a baby boom since things have been safe – people wanting to restart the population, which is why it’s unlikely that he’s surprised by the revelation.

  But I sure as hell am!

  “No,” I sit up, shaking my head. There’s no way. I can’t be pregnant; I’ve never had…

  Wait!

  Is it possible? Could that even happen? If so, then what does that mean? Surely it can’t be good?!

  The doctor is still talking to me, giving me a lot of advice about what to and what not to eat, but it’s all going over my head. There’s only one thought that keeps swirling around inside my head.

  I’m having a baby. An alien baby. Wrotg and Arlaf have somehow managed to defy all logic, and now I’m pregnant.

  I glance down at my stomach, panicking heavily at the prospect of something unknown, something new growing inside of me.

  What is it? Human? Nya? A combination?

  Something dangerous…?

  *****

  I remain in bed for a few days, just pondering on my new dilemma, only getting up when I need to vomit for what feels like the one millionth time. I have no idea how the hell I’m going to deal with this situation by myself, what the hell can I even do? There’s no option for me, I’m going to have this baby, but what then? What’s next for me?

  What I really need to do is find a way to communicate with Wrotg and Arlaf to let them know, to ask them for help. They may know what will happen to me, they may have some of the answers I’m looking for.

  Of course, they may not but I’d like them to know anyway. I don’t want to be in this alone.

  But of course, they’re in another galaxy entirely. There’s no magical way to speak to them…

  Or is there?

  I suddenly sit up, panic stricken by the new idea that maybe, just maybe, my dad might have a communication method of some sort. From what I heard in whispered rumors, the aliens from the underground movement left a lot of technology behind, just in case.

  I throw some clothes on, my heart pounding, and I race across the streets until I reach my father’s home. I probably look like a mad woman, but I really don’t care. I feel mad, so it really doesn’t matter what other people think of me.

  Knock, knock, knock.

  I pound heavily and furiously on the door, desperate for him to answer. I know he’s ignoring me, I know that he hates me, but this is more important than that. He’s going to have to talk to me, whether he likes it or not.

  After what feels like forever, his front door swings open.

  “What Angie?” he snaps as soon as his eyes spot me. He eyes me up and down, smirking to himself, before continuing. “What do you want?”

  “I just… dad I really need your help right now.”

  He must be able to see the sickly look on my face, and the desperation in my eyes because by some miracle he invites me in.

  Or maybe he’s just afraid that I’ll embarrass him.

  “Come on.”

  I step inside, taking a second to look about in amazement at the luxury he’s somehow living in. It’s not like the rest of us are living in squalor anymore, but none of us our homes are anything like this.

  Of course, this is all just a part of his ‘I’m better than you’ routine, but I can’t help but feel a little impressed and jealous all over again.

  “What’s wrong, Angie?” my dad finally sighs, forcing me to talk.

  “I… I need to…” I start stammering, suddenly wondering how the hell I’m going to get this sentence out. I should have planned what I was going to say before rushing over here like a loon. This is a conversation that I really needed to plan out in advance – I was an idiot for not doing so.

  “What?” he yells. “Just say it.” He stands up, looming over me, getting right in my face.

  His anger is enough to make me blurt out my request without even thinking. He’s scaring me, and I know that if I don’t speak now I never will. “I need to talk to the Nya dad, it’s important.”

  “Oh for God’s sake. Haven’t you left all of that bullshit behind?” He slumps back into his seat, shaking his head frustrated at me. “They’re gone, we won. I know you got a little confused somewhere along the way, but it’s time to put this to bed now.”

  “I wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t important.” The fact that he hasn’t immediately outright said no, that it’s impossible, suggests to me that there might just be a way. He probably has something somewhere; I just need to persuade him to let me use it. But how? “I… I really, really need this.”

  “Why?” he shoots back, completely stumping me.

  I can’t tell him the reason why, can I? Would it be best to, or will that ensure that he’ll never agree to it? Knowing how much he hates the aliens, he might even have me killed as some kind of example.

  No, I can’t tell him that I’m pregnant, but I have to say something.

  “I… I…” I try, but like an idiot, nothing comes out.

  “Get out, Angie. Stop embarrassing yourself. You have a life now, and you’re going to end up throwing it all away.”

  I wish I had something I could throw back, but I don’t. There’s just no
way.

  I guess I’ll just have to do it alone.

  “Never mind, dad. Don’t worry about it.” I stand up, smiling weakly. “You’re right. Just a moment of madness.”

  With that I spin on my heels and leave his home without even glancing back. He’s never been a father to me, so why the hell did I expect anything different now?

  I’m better on my own anyway, I always have been.

  *****

  I wait until the early hours of the morning before I sneak back there. Filled with desperation, and a new found determination, the side effects of being pregnant seem to subside for the time being, which is perfect.

  This might not work – in fact, chances are it probably won’t – but I don’t have any choice. I have to do something. There’s a chance that I might be able to speak to Wrotg and Arlaf, to finally tell them the truth, and I can’t just let that pass me by.

  Security is lax – I guess because my dad is confident in his new found role – so it isn’t a challenge at all for me to get in. I simply slide through one of the windows and creep room to room, until I find exactly what I’m looking for, just what I suspected was here.

  Devices, made by the Nya race, and lots of them.

  They helped us, and my dad hates them. It’s such a pointless cycle.

  I play about with everything, until I find something that I’m sure must be for communication. I can’t be certain, but everything else seems to be some kind of weapon.

  I fiddle with the buttons until it all lights up, then I take the chance to relay the message that I’ve been practicing all afternoon. I can’t risk getting caught out before I’ve at least attempted to do what I came here for.

  I speak, knowing that it’s probably pointless, knowing that even if by some miracle it’s heard, there won’t be many that can understand it. But it’s the only chance I have, and I need to at least try.

  “Erm… okay,” I say, feeling stupid. “This is a message for Wrotg and Arlaf. It’s Angie. This might be crazy but I’m… I’m pregnant. I’m having a baby, which of course is yours. One of yours. I just…” The tears begin to fall as I speak. I’m so overwhelmed by all of this; I don’t even know where to begin. How can I explain my bizarre situation in just a few short sentences? “I don’t know what to do, I don’t know whether it’ll be safe, or… or anything. I just… I don’t know.”