by RC Boldt
Mac looked down at her present in his hands, the shiny, custom painted motorcycle helmet even more of a reminder of how fucked up things were. She wouldn’t even spare him a glance or speak to him, let alone get on the back of his bike. And with good reason since he had treated her like absolute shit on that infamous morning.
Staring down at the helmet that had a tiny monogram with her initials painted on the back, he let out a long sigh. What the hell was he going to do? Is this what his life had come to? Sitting at home alone, staring at a helmet he had made for the one and only person he loved? The person who, according to Foster, was thinking of marrying another man?
Mac stood abruptly, carefully placing the helmet on the coffee table. Screw this. He had somewhere to be.
He had to go see the person who had his heart.
MAC HAD SEEN Raine as he had been walking over to her house and managed to catch up with her as she was cooling down from her run on the beach.
“Raine,” he called out.
He knew she heard him by the slight stiffening of her back and the millisecond of a pause in her stride. She kept walking as if she hadn’t heard him.
“Raine,” he called again and, as he drew closer, his hand circled her wrist to make her pause.
“Let go of me!” She tried to shake off his hand.
“Please, just stop for a moment,” he asked, imploringly. “Please,” he added, again.
Whirling around on him, her emerald eyes fiery with anger, she nearly bit out the words, “What. Do. You. Want?”
“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry—”
“Got it,” she cut him off and began to turn around once again.
“Wait,” he reached for her, again. “I have—”
“Are you okay, Raine?” a male voice interrupted.
Mac and Raine both turned to see Adam standing a few feet away from them, looking concerned. He looked perfectly coifed as usual.
Did this guy wake up looking perfect, for God’s sake?
“I’m fine, Adam,” she told him with a forced smile as if trying to convince him.
“I’ll be up in a moment.”
He held her gaze as if trying to ascertain whether he needed to intervene or not before turning and walking back to the house.
“What do you want, Mac?”
I just want you, he almost said. “I wanted to say that I’m sorry.”
She opened her mouth to speak but then, seemed to think better of it and closed it.
She nodded. “Okay.”
Raine turned away to start walking back to the house.
“Raine, wait. Please.” If it were at any other time in his life, he would have cringed at the pleading in his own voice.
Huffing out an exasperated breath, she whirled around on him.
“What? What, Mac? What exactly do you have to say to me that’s so important? Because it sure hasn’t been pressing enough to -oh, I don’t know- actually apologize to me at any point in the past few weeks.
“And, now you just show up out of nowhere and I’m supposed to stop everything and listen to you? Because you treated me so well the last time we spoke, right, Mac?” Her voice had risen increasingly to a loud shout, the sarcasm evident in her tone.
Looking off toward the surf, she closed her eyes as if trying to calm herself. Turning her face back to him, her eyes showcased her pain.
“I laid everything on the line. For you,” her voice broke and she looked down at the sand at her feet for a moment. “I offered you everything. All of me. And you didn’t want it.”
Her eyes grew cold, accusingly. “You threw it back in my face. And, now, maybe you’re bored or maybe you heard about me and Adam and so you’re tossing an apology my way? Because, God forbid, your male ego take a hit, right?”
“That’s not it, Raine,” he interrupted forcefully. “I’m here because I love you.”
Raine scoffed at him. “This can’t really be happening. Do you enjoy torturing me? Do you get some sort of sick pleasure at ripping out my heart all over again? It wasn’t good enough that you completely gutted me, and in front of our friends, no less but you have to do it, again?
“And, now, you say you love me?” She shook her head vehemently.
“No,” she bit out. Pointing her index finger at his chest, she poked him with each word. “You. Don’t. You don’t get to say that now!”
Raine took a step back and looked up at him with eyes so heartbreakingly sad it seemed as though someone were squeezing the breath out of him.
“I need to be with someone who truly loves me. Someone who won’t bail when things get tough or if they’re unsure of the next step.
“Someone who will take my hand and be like, ‘Hey, I have no idea what the hell is going to happen next, but as long as we’re together, we’ve got this.’
“That’s what I need, Mac, and you’ve already proven, that isn’t you. So, please,” her voice stumbled, showing her pain. “Please, just leave me be.”
With that, she turned and began walking away.
“DOES HE KNOW you, Raine?” Mac called out after her.
She ignored him, hoping -praying- that he would just go away.
“Does he know that you always bring three beach towels with you because you use two to spread out and lie on and the other one as a pillow? Does he know you’re ticklish on the side of your neck or that you love forehead kisses?” He paused and softened his voice.
“Or that your eyes change to be more of a mossy green when you get kissed?”
He continued this as he walked closer to her, her back still to him. Moving toward her, he asked, “Does he know how much you love making people laugh even at your own expense on karaoke nights? Or how you get the most adorable giggles when you have more than two drinks and get tipsy?”
Mac moved around to face her. Raine kept her head down but when he stopped in front of her, she raised it. She knew her eyes were glistening with tears, a few trickling down her cheeks.
He raised his hands, tentatively, and gently wiped the stray tears with his thumbs.
“Raine,” he said, swallowing thickly.
God, it was so damn hard to have him touch her.
“Does he know how much you love holding hands?” He paused as he reached down with one hand and linked their fingers. “Just like this.”
More tears slid down her cheeks as she stared down at their entwined fingers before she finally spoke.
“You pushed me away,” she reminded him, brokenly, shaking her head.
“You didn’t want me. How am I supposed to believe this or anything you say?”
Pulling her fingers loose from his, she wiped the remaining tears from her cheeks. Looking him in the eyes, she delivered the final blow.
“Adam has asked me to marry him and I’ve . . . accepted. I hope that, at some point in the future, you and I can go back to being friends, but right now, I just need you to let things go.”
Raising up on her toes, she kissed him softly on the cheek. “Goodbye, Callum.”
As Raine walked away from Mac, she could do nothing but try and hold in her sobs until she made it back to her house.
Leaving her heart and soul with the man standing alone on the beach.
MAC STOOD THERE, frozen, hurt radiating throughout his entire being. He’d lost her. He had succeeded in pushing away and losing the most important person in his life. The only person he could imagine being with for the rest of it.
Unsure of how long he stood there, alone, stunned at how the events had played out, he forced himself to snap out of it and make the walk back to his place.
Hands in his pockets, Mac made his way home without really seeing anything. He needed a drink, damn it, and to wallow in his own self-pity. Mac snorted at his own pathetic thoughts.
“You’re a fucking moron,” he mumbled to himself, as he made his way up the steps to the back of his house.
“I’ll second that one, dude.” Foster was leaning against the railing of the back deck, holding a
six-pack. He held it up, gesturing to it. “Thought you might need this.”
“Comforting to know you had that much faith in me.” Mac threw him a dirty look before kicking off his flip flops to enter through the sliding glass door.
Foster followed, placing the beer in the fridge after pulling one out. He opened it and handed it to Mac who had taken a seat on the couch.
“Nah, just thought I’d check on you and this could either be a ‘wallow in self-pity’ beer or a ‘celebrating getting the girl back’ beer.”
“Safe to say it’s not the latter.” Mac took a long drink from the bottle.
“I gathered that.” Foster sat down in the chair across from his friend. Leaning his forearms on his knees, he asked, “So what’s the plan?”
Mac’s gaze flew to his, brows arched in disbelief. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Dude, you can’t just give up.”
Slamming down his beer on the coaster, Mac stood abruptly, walking to the windows facing the ocean.
“She’s marrying him, Fos.” His voice cracked and he cleared his throat. “She fucking told me to leave her alone.”
From behind him, he heard his friend rise from his seat and walk over to face the windows beside him. “Sometimes, it takes more than one round, Mac.”
Whirling on him, Mac threw his hands in the air. Sarcastically, he lashed out, “Really, Fos? And you know this, how?”
Foster stood calmly before him and turned his gaze to the view of the ocean. It looked as though his friend were lost in thought. Finally, on a long sigh, he turned to face Mac.
“Just trust me on this one, man. Don’t take yourself out of the game, yet.” He gently slapped Mac on the shoulder. “Call me if you need me.”
Mac turned back to the view outside his windows as he heard the front door click shut, highlighting the fact that he was all alone.
Again.
“ARE YOU GOING running, again?”
The question startled Raine as she had been lost in thought, still mulling over what had happened between her and Mac on the beach over a week ago. Looking up from where she sat on the porch step, pulling on her running shoes, she saw that Adam had a concerned look on his face.
“What do you mean, again? I try to run during the workweek.”
“Isn’t that a bit much, though? You’ve been kind of overdoing it lately.”
“I really need to run, tonight, Adam. We’ve had so much going on with parent-teacher conferences this week that I’m beyond stressed.” She stood up and began to stretch.
“But all you ever do is run.” He frowned, a worried expression upon his face.
“Because it’s my thing, okay?” She threw her arms up, exasperated with the conversation.
“It’s not going to fix your heart, Raine,” Adam spoke quietly.
“Please don’t do this,” she begged with a whisper, shaking her head.
He took a step toward her, taking her hands in his.
“Raine, I saw him that day on the beach. I saw his face. That was not the face of a man who was simply trying to soothe his wounded pride. That was the face of a man who was dealing with the anguish of completely ruining the best thing to ever come into his life.
“And your face told me–looking at you right now, it still tells me- that you’re not going to get over this . . . over him. I can’t consciously let you marry me, Raine. Not knowing there’s a chance for you to be with the person your heart belongs to. I can’t cheat you of that, sweetie,” he finished, his eyes full of sorrow.
Sighing loudly, she leaned back on the deck railing, looking at the man she had known for fifteen years, now. A man who loved her unconditionally.
“What about you?” she asked him, softly.
Adam looked both sad and lost.
“I continue being me,” he shrugged his shoulders. “The version of me that my parents feel is acceptable.” He looked away for a moment. “It’s not in the cards for me, Raine. But you, on the other hand, you can have the real thing. With him.”
“I’m scared, Adam,” her voice was small, choked.
He gave her a tiny smile. “I know, sweetie. I know. But sometimes the risks we’re most afraid of taking are the most worthwhile.”
They both fell silent, lost in thought.
“You’re a pretty wise doctor, you know,” she told him.
Moving closer to him, she reached for his hand. “I’ll always love you and be here to support you. You know that, right?”
He looked down at her hand in his for a moment and then gave it a squeeze, raising his head to look into her eyes.
“Of all the uncertain things in this world, that is and always has been a certainty for me.”
Pulling her close in a hug, he held her for a moment before she felt a kiss on the top of her head and heard him whisper, “And I love you just the same, Raine.”
THE FOLLOWING DAY, Raine was bombarded with prep work for the final day of scheduled conferences with parents after school. She was trying to get folders organized and print updated progress reports when Laney burst into her classroom.
“Girl, what’s the good word?” Her red and black patterned dress flowed as she walked. Raine smirked as she caught sight of the fluffy-looking slippers on her feet.
This was the typical end of the day attire for her friend.
“The good word is that today will be the final day of conferences, thank goodness.” She glanced up at the clock on the wall before looking back down at the reports she was stapling.
“Luckily, I have five left so I shouldn’t get out of here much later than five o’clock.”
Sliding over into the chair across from Raine, Laney cleared her throat. “Uh, that’s not what I was asking.”
At Raine’s confused expression, she went on. “I had to leave my house early this morning because I had to drop off Harley at the vet for his teeth cleaning and grooming. And as I was heading past your place, Adam was in the driveway.” With a pointed look, she added, “Loading his suitcase into the car.”
Sighing, she looked at her friend tiredly. “Laney, you know what you saw. He’s leaving for his next rotation spot in pediatrics. You already know the rest.”
Laney jumped up from her seat so fast it nearly tipped over as she whooped, throwing her fists in the air. “YES!”
“Tell me how you really feel,” she remarked dryly.
“Oh, come on, Raine. You know I’m not excited about him actually leaving, but I’m excited about you finally coming to your senses about marrying him.”
Raine just stared at her with raised eyebrows. “Really.”
“Yes, really. You need someone who—”
“Excuse me,” a deep, familiar voice rang out.
They both turned their attention to the door. Mac was standing there, looking as handsome as ever in his khaki pants and dark lavender fitted button down shirt.
His gaze stayed on Raine for an extra moment before he spoke.
“I was just coming to tell you that I was in the office when the call came through that your last conference of the day for 4:45 had to cancel.”
Giving him a smile, Raine nodded. “Thanks, Mac.”
He winked. “Anytime, Raine.” Then, he was gone.
Laney sighed, still looking at the empty doorway.
“What’s the sigh for?”
Turning to Raine, she answered, “Just thinking of how you two screwed things up. Such a shame. But it’s a relief to see that there’s some sort of truce, at least.”
She pushed in the chair she had been using. “Gotta run. Have to go get Foster’s pooch from the vet.”
She stopped at the door and called out over her shoulder, “By the way, we’re totally celebrating on Saturday.”
“What are we celebrating?”
“The end of Hitchedmageddon.”
Rolling her eyes at her friend’s back, Raine went back to her stapling.
“SO, WHAT ARE your plans for this weekend?”
&
nbsp; “Yeah, like, do you have any hot dates planned?”
Mac groaned as he looked up to see his friends both leaning casually in the doorway of his classroom. “Get in here and close the door.”
Lawson clasped his hands together with apparent glee and turned to Zach after pulling the door closed behind them.
“If he wants to talk to us in privacy, then he must have some spicy plans.”
“Or,” Zach held a hand to the side of his mouth as if he were telling a secret, “he has something more elicit to tell us. Like maybe he hired someone to help him get over this rough patch.”
“Whoa. Dude, you’re probably onto something there,” Lawson mock-whispered.
Tossing his pen down from grading papers, Mac blew out an annoyed breath and leaned back in his chair.
“This isn’t Sex in the City, guys. No guy with any self-respect talks like that,” he gestured to the two of them.
“Pfft. Sex in the City is so early 2000’s.” This came from Lawson.
Wagging his finger, Zach corrected him. “Actually, it began in the late nineties and ended in the early 2000’s.”
Lawson put his hands up in acquiescence. “I stand corrected.”
“You ladies finished, now?” Mac asked, sarcastically.
Lawson walked toward Mac’s desk. “We just stopped by to check on your status.”
“My status?” he spoke slowly, raising an eyebrow at the question.
Lawson chimed in. “Yeah, man. As in whether you need help brainstorming or not.”
Bouncing his gaze back and forth between his friends, he shook his head. “I’m going to regret asking this, I know, but what exactly would I be brainstorming?”
“Mac, Mac, Mac,” Zach shook his head. Glancing at Lawson, he said, “It’s more serious than we thought if he’s in denial.”
“Okay, that’s enough. Just spit it out, already, guys.”
Were everyone’s friends this irritating?
With a pitying look, Lawson answered, “Brainstorming on how to get her back, of course.”
Stunned, all Mac could do was stare at them.
“You’re assuming that I have an actual chance at getting her back.” Clenching his jaw, he picked up his pen to resume grading. “Which I confirmed I do not.”