Don’t Lie to Me

by Amber Bardan

“I’m your darkest desires, Emma, and I intend to fulfill them all.”

  Avner

  I pressed a palm to the wall above the toilet and shook my cock.

  Thump.

  I spun around. Darkness blanketed the bathroom. I hadn’t turned on the light so as not to disturb Emma. She’d more than earned uninterrupted rest after what I’d put her through today. The memories of which threatened to have me right back in that bed—retracting the promise I made to myself not to wake her. I returned to the bedroom. Her deep, even breathing filtered through the room.

  Thump.

  Tension twitched through me. My gaze snapped to the door. We were supposed to be alone. The staff quarters occupied an adjoining building and none would dare enter here without permission. I went to the bedside table and eased the drawer open, retrieving a handgun. Not my first choice when arming myself, but if someone made it past my personal guard...

  Thump.

  The weight of metal in my palm offered a steadying reassurance. I left the bedroom and crept down the hall and approached the office.

  Thump.

  I raised the weapon and turned in to the room, aim flying to a billow of white. My sight flashed—streamed with a vision of sheer fabric hanging off a tall, gaunt body.

  Thump. Thump. This time the sound was inside me—knocking through my chest. I saw her turn. Her stream of midnight hair illuminated by the window. Her eyes the same almond shape as my own, narrowed, as she raised a finger to her lips—Shh.

  I staggered into a cabinet. The rattle jarred my joints. I blinked, yet the memory haunted the back of my mind. My palm slammed on the wall behind me and flicked on the light.

  The curtain billowed, cord smacking into the wall. Thump. I lowered the twitching gun. I should’ve burned the house down.

  My breaths raged through the office, a room which had once been a bedroom. The bedroom I was born in, if I had to guess. Back when the fences surrounding the property existed to keep people in rather than out.

  The sickly, salty taste of my own sweat entered my mouth.

  Back when this house had been a brothel—a secret extravagance for those who could afford whatever their perversions might cost.

  Thump.

  I straightened, opened the cabinet and shoved the gun inside. Then stalked to the window, grabbed a fist of the drape and shoved it aside. When I’d returned here and purchased this place, there wasn’t a single inch of it that tweaked a memory. As if a door separated the day I met my adoptive parents and everything that came before—and through that door everything was utterly dark.

  Until now.

  I slammed down the window, bars long gone, but for an instant their shadows streaked my vision too. I’d never stayed in this house. Never spent a night here since I’d been compelled by some driving need to have it remodeled. Until now.

  Until I had something I wanted these walls to protect. I returned to the bedroom.

  Emma leaned up on her elbow, the lamp beside her on but dimmed, giving her rumpled yellow hair an almost angelic glow. “Everything alright?”

  “Just shutting a window.” I crawled onto the bed and planted my face in the center of her naked chest.

  She stilled for a moment, then her hands moved to my head and her touch brushed across my scalp. Her scent flooded me, fresh and feminine. A sigh eased free of my lips. I dragged my jaw against the curve of her breast, lost in the luxury of her comfort.

  “You were right and wrong, you know.”

  Wrong? I rolled to the side and faced her.

  Her bottom lip tugged between her teeth. “If I were looking for excitement, I’d have had enough of that after our first time.”

  Enough? Of me. I grabbed her hip. Perhaps I’d better show her again, that there could never be enough of us.

  “It’s not only that you excite me.” Her lashes fanned over her eyes, and her gaze slunk to my chest. She placed a palm there and eased her head back down onto the pillow. “I missed you when we were apart.”

  My fingers tightened on her hip, not too dissimilar to the way my heart tightened in my chest.

  “I missed the way you make me want to say things I know only you will understand.” She lifted her gaze, and in the lamplight those pale eyes of hers were far too warm to be blue. “I’ve come to care for you, Avner. And you’re right—that scares me as much as it thrills me.”

  I hauled her closer. A rumble rattled through the room, it took a second to realize that sound was me.

  “And you were also right, the water scares me too.”

  My heart boomed. I knew. She hadn’t remembered giving me that secret. I’d dragged her into the water. Gently, and never letting her dip too low, but I’d known, and I’d tested her anyway.

  Tested to see exactly how far she’d go to guard herself from me. Guilt struck in rolling waves. Could she forgive me for the game I’d played?

  She looked past me, over my shoulder. “We were at a barbeque at the Tucker place next door.” Her throat moved with a swallow. “Dad drank too much and hit Mum in front of everyone.”

  A charge of fury whipped through me. I eased my fingers from her hip.

  “I guess the adults were distracted.” She sniffled. “I was six. I don’t remember falling into the pool but I remember water in my face—” Her hand moved in front of her. “How it felt to breathe it.” Her voice cracked. Moisture gathered in her lashes. She blinked, but several fat drops leaked free. “Mr. Tucker revived me.”

  She dropped her hand.

  Silence settled between us. I stared at her. At her wet lashes, and the pop of her freckles on her suddenly pale face.

  She looked at me again, her gaze pleading for something. I’d have given a nut to be good enough at this kind of thing to hear what else she tried to tell me.

  But it was far too easy, seeing her like this, to be overcome by the picture of a tiny six-year-old Emma. What she’d have been like—a dainty little thing.

  Who could possibly fail to protect something so precious?

  I pressed her to me, and held her as fiercely as possible without crushing her. Who had she ever been able to count on?

  Count on me.

  Her breath shuddered against my neck and her nails sank into my back. Everyone who should have protected her had let her down—or hurt her.

  I’d been hurt too. Abused. Neglected. From what my file said, even starved.

  I inhaled from her hair, and rocked us together. Her pain seeped through her and into me—a cruel vise that seized my heart.

  But there was a distinction in our pasts that made all the difference. I’d been given a second chance. A family who’d loved and cherished me.

  Until I’d let them down in a way that could never be recovered from.

  Never again.

  Never again would I fail those who trusted me. Never again would someone hurt Emma. The footage from the shopping center surveillance I’d hacked rolled through my mind. It was only a matter of time until I found out who’d stalked her, and then I’d destroy them.

  I’d destroy everyone who’d ever dared hurt her.

  Her pathetic excuse for a father would be first.

  “Avner?”

  I looked down, a frown drawing my muscles tight. “Yes?”

  “Nothing needs to happen to my dad, okay?” She reached for my cheek. “I’m safe now.”

  Yes, she was. She was safe now that she belonged to me.

  I covered the hand on my cheek. “So you think you have me figured out?”

  “Not at all.” Her brow worried. “You were wrong about something else as well. You’re not my darkest desires.” Her fingers twitched. “You’re my deepest.”

  That vise in my chest cinched tighter.

  Her teeth set on edge. “And that frig
htens me most of all because I have no idea what yours are.”

  I clutched her hand. Feelings swelled under my ribs, all the desire I’d ever possessed rising to claim what I now knew was wholly mine.

  “Avner.” She whispered my name again, this time hushed. “W-w—” A stammer twisted into her words. “Why doesn’t your mother speak to you?”

  Agony stole into my bones. I witnessed there in the tremble of her stutter and the piercing vulnerability in her eyes, that these were the gates to her secrets opening—and if I did not give back, they’d never be unlocked again.

  My own teeth gnashed. The grind filled my head. Where could I start? With the mother who bore me in this house?

  Or the one who saved me?

  Her breath held, and she scanned my gaze.

  Where could it end? There was no way to explain without telling the whole sordid, dangerous story—and that was something I would not reveal.

  So I gave her what I could. I rolled us over, swooped up her hands then pressed them above her head. Her eyes went wide, possibly disappointed, but I wouldn’t give her much of a chance to be. I couldn’t give her my secrets, but I’d give this truth.

  “Emma.” I pressed her wrists deep into the pillows. “You want to know my desires?”

  Her chin lifted. My gaze flew to her neck, to that little flutter that betrayed her.

  “I desire to hold you down.” I leaned my full weight on her. Held my face so close our noses brushed. “But not like this—in my fantasy I’m holding you here, in this house.”

  Her chest hitched with breath.

  “I’m keeping you all for myself, where nothing can hurt you. No one can touch you but me.”

  Her wrists jerked in my grip.

  I wedged my knee between hers, and forced apart her thighs.

  “Because you’re mine.” My cock, hard now, brushed her sex. “Mine to take. Mine to protect. Mine to fuck. And I’m the only thing you want and the only thing you’re going to have.”

  I flexed. My erection rubbed between her folds. Her arousal coated me like heaven. How the fuck did she get so wet already?

  “And I take you, Emma. I take you every-fucking-where.” I shoved into her.

  Her back bowed, and she let out the sweetest howl.

  Her cunt clutched me tight and hot, and it was all I could do not to finish instantaneously. I dragged out and plowed back in, almost losing the ability to speak, but I did. “I’m taking you everywhere you can be taken.”

  She shouted, straining in my grip, pussy flooding on my cock. As much as she fought it, she loved this—when I robbed her of all control.

  Made her submit—to me, to my touch, to my desires.

  To my affection.

  And I knew firsthand how to someone neglected, affection is a tremendous thing to bring one’s self to accept.

  “I come in you, on you, all over you.” I thrust deep, and shifted to hold her with only one hand so I could grab her jaw, make her listen to every single word. “And there’s nothing protecting you from me—I fill you up, knock you up.”

  Her eyes strained wider, and she trembled. I rocked, right there in the spot where she couldn’t take it.

  “You give me everything.” Tension traveled down my back, and rippled into my middle. Comfort. Love. A family of my own. Second chances. And it wasn’t only a fantasy—it was everything I craved, and she knew it.

  I swelled, and shoved harder.

  She screamed, the sound high and loud and music to my soul. Her orgasm sent her muscles jerking and spasming. Her pussy pulsed around my cock—milking me. Proving she wanted every damn thing I promised.

  “Because you’re my deepest fucking desire too.” I growled with the last of my breath, and erupted inside her.

  She held me, still shaking. I melted into her, letting her take all my weight, and knowing with all her strength inside and out that she could bear me like no one else ever had or ever could.

  The tension pulsed, pleasure quaking from my balls to my belly. I took a breath, pulled back, took myself in hand then withdrew to my tip. I squeezed my length, letting the last bead of fluid trickle onto her exposed cunt. The sight of it—her pink little pussy dripping with my come, had my balls tightening again. I pressed a palm to the mattress and rubbed the head of my cock over her soaked flesh.

  She stared down. Little tremors twitched her shoulders, her whole face overwhelmed. I met her gaze, and the possessiveness that filled me was a wicked, wicked thing.

  “Say you love it.” I covered her again, taking her cheeks between my fingers and thumb. “Say you love it when I come in you.”

  Tears blinked from her eyes. “Avner, I love it.”

  I held her firm, couldn’t show mercy until she admitted it all. “When I come in you.”

  “I love it when you come in me.”

  Satisfaction burst through me, because I was the only man who ever had, and one thing was now sure—I was the last who ever would.

  I kissed her. Her teeth clashed with mine. She cried into our kiss, and yes, my passion was wicked, because I’d never wanted anything as selfishly as I wanted those tears.

  Chapter Twenty

  Emma

  “What is all of this?”

  I looked at Avner from my mountains of books strewn on the office floor. “You said I could order whatever I wanted?”

  “For recreation.” He shook his head and took off his jacket and set it over a chair. “You’re not supposed to be working this week.”

  “You are.” I raised a brow. I hadn’t initially realized he’d bought me here because there were things he still had to do in India.

  This was the second time he’d disappeared for hours to meetings, leaving me alone in a house that was more of a castle than a mansion, surrounded by walls that couldn’t be seen over, and an entire platoon of guards and staff, only two of whom spoke English. So different to the humble Avner I’d come to know in Australia.

  “And this is recreation.” I grinned.

  I really shouldn’t be grinning. Truthfully there was at least ten hours of reading saved on my Cloud Reader that I really should keep up with. Giving in to this short break didn’t mean I could afford to miss journals and studies that might help me.

  He picked up a book, and glanced at the cover. “You’ve developed a new area of interest?”

  His face brightened just a little.

  I laughed, and cocked my finger at him.

  He stepped over books and leaned down to where I lay on the floor.

  I snatched the pregnancy book from him and planted a kiss on his mouth. “Easy, babe, my interest is exclusively in Angelina’s pregnancy.”

  Movement shifted behind him at the French doors.

  “Ah, could you tell Rohan to take it down a notch. He’s creeping me out.”

  He pulled back. “How so?”

  “Every time I look out a window, he’s standing there.”

  “That’s his job.”

  “Is it necessary?”

  “It’s not unusual to have this kind of security here.”

  “Maybe if he liked me a little more it wouldn’t be so creepy. Do I need to bake him cookies?”

  Avner went very still. “Why would you think he doesn’t like you?”

  “Because I’ve never sensed so much internal eye rolling from someone who doesn’t seem to blink. He doesn’t usually get sent out to fetch things, does he?”

  “No, but he can handle it.” His chest rumbled with laugher. “Want to go shopping again?”

  “No,” I answered quickly. The only reason I’d let him take me when we’d arrived three days ago was because it was completely his fault I hadn’t packed for this.

  And it’d still felt awkward.

 
; “But if you could scrounge me up a marker or highlighter that would be great.”

  “You mean you haven’t snooped through everything I own already?”

  I smiled again—a look that seemed perpetually attached to my face the past few days. “I’ve been too busy doing things in this room to snoop through it yet.”

  Avner went over to the desk and tugged open a drawer. “So where have you snooped?”

  “The bedroom, but that was boring. Other than the one bottle of unopened lube, I’d never have guessed you used to live here.”

  He paused, his gaze flicking abruptly to the drawer.

  My smile slipped, but I shook off the feeling. “I checked out your jocks.”

  “But they are private, Emma.” He shut the drawer and moved to the next one. “You persist in being such a naughty girl. It’s almost like you want to be in trouble.”

  I squirmed. Yep, naughty me. Trouble would be great. Should I bend myself over the desk right now?

  I sat up.

  He moved to the next drawer. I froze. He’d been gone a few short months and forgotten where he’d kept things? I’d seen his home fridge and pantry, everything so meticulously organized he’d never forget a proper place...

  I looked away. My gaze settled on the cell phone resting by the book I’d been making notes in. My cell phone that hadn’t worked since we’d landed. For some reason this palace had two pools, a gymnasium, but no land phones I could find.

  “In my fantasy I’m holding you here, in this house.”

  “Here you are.” He handed me three fluorescent highlighters.

  “Thank you.”

  He smiled.

  My chest fluttered. Gah. I was being dumb and suspicious again. It wasn’t his fault my cell phone didn’t like India. He wouldn’t actually prevent me from making calls. “May I ask for one more favor?”

  “Of course.” His eyes twinkled.

  I almost did ask to be bent over the desk, but I really needed to check in with Angelina. “I need to borrow your cell phone. Mine hasn’t worked since we arrived.”

  “Sure.” He took his phone from his pocket. “Calling Angelina?”

  “Yeah.”