“This probably isn’t what you want to hear, but having Mary was the best thing that ever happened to me. I never wanted kids and now I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”
I smile sadly. Harper is married to the CEO, Zach Lockwood. She’s had a baby and a wedding and met her soulmate. Somehow being a single mother struggling on one salary doesn’t really seem like the same thing, but I hold my tongue. All I can do is force a smile and nod. I blink back the tears in my eyes and try to ignore the prickling in my eyelids.
Harper hugs me again and I let a tear fall down before pulling away and turning to the mirror to fix my makeup.
“Ok, so what are the artists?” I say a little bit louder. “I have draft campaigns for six of them but they can be adjusted pretty easily. I think hitting social media harder than McKinley and Lee were is going to be more effective. We need to go where the customers are.”
“Definitely. Don’t tell me, tell the agent. He’s landing in New York tonight and wants a meeting first thing tomorrow morning. Can you have a deck ready for 7am? Just two of your best campaigns, updated for current singles and albums.” Harper opens the bathroom door and we step out. “We’ll want to make the transition to our campaign as seamless as possible so you’ll have to explain how that will work, and how we’ll scale up the social media and scale down the traditional advertising.”
“Right.” I pause. “Harper, I’ve never done this before. You know, lead something this big.”
Harper stops and turns towards me, smiling. “You’re talented and confident and hard-working. Zach wouldn’t give this to you if he didn’t think you could do it. If I didn’t think you could do it. You’ve already done all the work and now you just need to show it off. And like you said, it’ll get your mind off the other thing.”
I nod and take a deep breath. The strength inside me grows a little and I stand up straighter.
“You’re right. Ok, I’ll have it ready for 7am.”
“I’ve called a sitter so I’ll stay as long as you need me tonight. We have the rest of the team working on the financials and the bones of the proposal, but we need your content and your creative direction.
I nod again and start walking to my desk. The pregnancy test is gone for now at the bottom of the garbage can. Between now and tomorrow morning I won’t think of the baby growing inside me. I won’t think of Lucas, or single motherhood, or diapers or cribs or anything except delivering this advertising campaign as well as I can.
Harper’s right, this is a blessing in disguise. I get to my desk and glance up to see Harper looking at me from across the room. She smiles slightly and dips her chin down. I nod as well and can’t help but smile back. This is what I’m good at.
Chapter 17 - Lucas
The wheels touch down and my heart jumps. I try to ignore the image in my head - the image of Rosie in front of me with her head back as I kiss her body from head to toe. I’ve seen it in my mind’s eye almost every day for the past two months.
I’m back.
I know I won’t see her - New York is a city of eight and a half million people. It was already blind luck to run into her once, it won’t happen again.
Besides, it’s better this way. What would I even say to her? Show up at her house and just say: Got the message, you want nothing to do with me. Or maybe I’d pretend like nothing happened. Hey! What’s up?
There’s no point thinking like this. I won’t see her, so it’s a waste of time anyways.
I have bigger things to worry about. My client’s success and future hangs in the balance and is completely dependent on the deals I can negotiate with Lockwood’s firm. They must know that I need them. They’ll be able to charge me whatever they want and I’ll have to accept. All I can do is use the fame of my clients and bluff my way through these meetings.
I make my way off the plane and I feel no less nervous than I did when I left LA. The next few days are critical for not only my clients but for my own career. I’m thinking about Rosie, and worried about what hypothetical me would say when I hypothetically run into her when the bigger problem is what I’ll actually say when I’m locked in negotiations for the next three days.
I sling my small carry-on bag over my shoulder and make my way towards the exit. I don’t expect I’ll be in New York for more than three or four days and I’ve packed light.
6:01am. I should be at the firm’s offices by 7am, just in time for my first meeting. They assured me they’d have a proposal ready but I don’t know what they could have done in such a short amount of time. I’m not expecting much.
I jump in a cab and give the driver the address. Staring out the window, I remember driving in the opposite direction. I remember how happy I was when I left Rosie, how hopeful I’d been about pursuing this crazy connection I thought we had.
Now it’s just bitterness. The thought of her makes the anger curl up my spine and close around my throat like a black hand. The thought of my rejection, of the hours I spent wishing she would call.
It’s embarrassing.
I was a one night stand for her, and like a fool I thought it meant more. I’m not usually like this, and I don’t know why it was different with her. Was it even different with her? Maybe it wasn’t, but I’ve been so focused on work, so focused on Allie that I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be with a woman.
Maybe it wasn’t different at all.
Maybe it wasn’t special, it wasn’t a connection, it didn’t mean anything.
I mean, she never called, so of course it didn’t mean anything. She made me feel like it did, and then she just disappeared.
A part of me knows I can’t blame her. We met, we had sex, and then I left to go back home on the other side of the country. What kind of relationship is that? What kind of future would there be?
I shake my head and sigh. I’m finding excuses to avoid the relationship that I never even had in the first place. These thoughts are pointless. She didn’t want me, and she didn’t call. We had one good night and that’s it. I should be grateful I got laid that night at all.
Still, when I close my eyes and try to focus on the meetings I’m heading to, all I see is the little freckle on her cheek and the way she tucked her hair behind her ear. How can I have such a clear image of her after two months?! We only spent a few hours together!
The cab driver stops in front of a tall office building and clicks a button on the meter.
“$42.25,” he says unceremoniously.
I sigh and hand him fifty dollars. “Keep the change.”
Stepping out of the cab, I stare up at the wall of windows in front of me. There must be fifty or sixty floors in this building. I straighten my tie and take a breath, walking through the revolving glass doors and heading to the wall to look for Lockwood Advertising. I scan the list of businesses and find the name with ‘Level 43’ next to it.
With one last breath, Rosie disappears from my mind and I put my game face on. It’s time to negotiate like my life depends on it and make sure I can secure my clients’ futures. Some chick I slept with a few months ago shouldn’t even register in my mind right now. I have way more important things to take care of.
The elevator doors close as I press the little round butting with number 43 written on it. It lights up and I take a step back, squaring my shoulders and inhaling deeply as I feel the elevator whizz upwards.
That familiar sense of calm comes over me and I know I’m in the zone. Nothing can throw me off now. I know what I need to negotiate and I know what I can offer. I should be in and out in a couple hours and then I can go back to Los Angeles and forget about Rosie once and for all.
Chapter 18 - Rosie
It’s 6:52am, which means the agent will be here any minute. I smooth down the front of my skirt and skim my fingers over the scar on my ribs. My hand trails over my stomach for a second before I let it drop. I wonder how many more scars and stretch marks I’ll have on my abdomen when this baby is born?
The thought doesn’t scare me, it excites me. Somehow the thought of my body changing to create another human fills me with the deepest sense of wonder and excitement I’ve ever felt. I square my shoulders and stack the notes for my proposal before heading to the conference room. Every decision now feels more important, like the fate of my baby rests entirely on my shoulders. This proposal, my career, my health - it all means so much more than it did before.
I get to the conference room and put my hands on my hips as I look around the room. The projector is set up, my laptop has the proposal deck queued and I have my notes ready.
This is the biggest project I’ve ever led, and definitely the most responsibility I’ve ever had. This client is critical. If we land this contract, it’ll add a good 30% of business to our portfolio and put us as the #1 advertising firm in the eastern United States. The pressure is immense.
I just hope it’s good enough.
Harper has told me time and again that I’m talented, that I have a good eye, that I know what sells, but there’s always a voice at the back of my mind that says it’s not enough. It’s not modern enough, it’s not on trend enough, it’s not sharp enough.
If this proposal isn’t enough, the loss will be on my shoulders. I glance at my notes and sigh. These are all mockups that I did in my spare time, basically just to prove that McKinley & Lee didn’t deserve to be the top advertising firm in the city. They’re not exactly polished.
I try to shake the thought out of my head and take a cleansing breath. I know this agent needs us and that his clients need us. He’s just been dropped in the middle of God knows how many advertising campaigns. He needs a new advertising contract immediately, and we can deliver it.
But still, as much as he needs us, I need him to buy into my proposal. We need him just as much as he needs us, but we can’t let it show.
I glance at the clock. 6:57am. The minutes are crawling by.
Harper slips into the conference room and gives me an encouraging smile.
“You’ll be great. You got this.”
“I don’t know Harps, a lot of it is just sloppy. I was mostly just messing around when I made most of these.”
“Rosie, they’re good. You’re talented and this is way more than any other firm will have. You got this. Zach wouldn’t have chosen you as lead if he didn’t think you could do it.”
I nod just as Zach walks in. He squeezes Harper’s shoulder as he walks by her and I feel a pang in my chest. They found each other last year and within a couple months were madly in love with a baby on the way.
My hand drifts to my stomach again and I feel the familiar loneliness start to curdle inside me.
“I need a coffee,” I announce, trying to ignore the feeling. “Anyone else?”
“Sure,” Harper says as Zach shakes his head. I nod and head out towards the office kitchen.
My hands are shaking as I grab two mugs. I’m not even supposed to be drinking coffee, but I have to make an exception this morning. It’ll calm my nerves and give me something to do before he gets here.
The coffee is dark and strong, steam curling up from the mugs as I pick them up and head back to the conference room. I can hear voices inside. Harper, Zach, and a man’s voice. I frown as something inside me recognises the voice. Where have I heard it before?
Instinctively, I know where I’ve heard it before, but it can’t be him. My mind must be playing tricks on me. It’s not him, it must be the nerves.
I take a deep breath and turn the corner towards the door. Just two more steps and I’ll be there, about to have the biggest moment of my career thus far. I step through the doorway and immediately freeze as my eyes lock onto the agent who’s here to hear my proposal. My jaw drops and I let the two mugs fall down a couple inches. The coffee splashes up the sides but doesn’t spill on the ground.
My mouth is suddenly dry and I close it again, licking my lips to try to speak. Finally my vocal chords start working and I say the name that’s been on my mind for the past three months.
“Lucas?” It comes out as a squeak.
He’s here. He’s sitting across from Zach, dressed in a white shirt and navy suit. His hair is styled and he looks just as attractive as the last time I saw him, maybe even more. The nervousness inside me blossoms into desire as I see the man that I’ve been missing. Time slows down as he turns his head towards me, his clear blue eyes lifting to meet mine.
The father of my child.
He’s just as shocked as I am, but recovers more quickly. He closes his mouth and his eyes harden. His stare is cold and he dips his chin down once.
“Rosie.”
His coldness pierces through me like a dagger. He looks down at the paperwork in front of him and I glance at Harper. My eyes widen and I feel my mouth open and close like a goldfish. Suddenly I’m off balance.
Harper clears her throat. “You two know each other?” Her voice is steady but her eyes are questioning me.
Lucas answers before I can.
“We met once,” he says shortly. “Should we get started?”
“Of course,” Zach jumps in, giving me a meaningful stare.
I’m still speechless. I nod and put a mug of coffee down next to Harper. She squeezes my forearm and looks at me again with a face full of questions. I glance away, trying to ignore the thumping in my chest.
The world has tilted sideways and I’m scrambling to keep my footing. I walk around the table towards my computer and stare at the screen. I can’t make out any of the words. I can’t remember any of the proposal. I can’t even remember what this is about. I’m completely blank.
The most important moment of my career has just turned into the most uncomfortable moment of my personal life, and I’m not sure how I’ll make it through the next hour without bursting into tears or screaming at the top of my lungs.
“Whenever you’re ready,” Harper says softly. I glance at her and she nods. Her stare fills me with strength and I take a deep breath. The letters on the screen rearrange themselves into words and I remember why I’m here.
“Right. Let’s get started.”
Chapter 19 - Lucas
I don’t hear the first twenty minutes of her proposal. My mind is running circles around me as I try to understand what’s going on.
I mean, I know what’s going on. She’s the editor in charge of my proposals. That’s clear. What I can’t figure out is how I came to be sitting at this table without realising she would be here.
God, she looks good. That skirt is hugging her curves perfectly, and her hair is pinned back to show her graceful slender neck. She’s standing sideways and all I want to do is kiss that little spot just below her ear.
Just as the thought crosses my mind, I push it away. This is the woman who ignored me, who left me hanging and had me believe there might be something more. Sure it was one night, and everything inside me told me to forget about her, but for some reason the rejection stung more than usual.
It’s a constant tug-of-war in my mind. On the one hand, she looks amazing and all I want to do is talk to her and convince her to go out with me again, for real this time. On the other hand, she made herself very clear when she never bothered to tell me she wasn’t interested. The least she could have done was texted me to tell me, but even that was too much effort.
“.. and we forecast that this combined with the social media campaign will give you at least a 150% return.”
Rosie turns to face me and I realise that I haven’t heard a word of what she’s said. I clear my throat and glance down at the printout that they’ve given me. Her work is good, there’s no denying that. Maybe even better than the last advertising firm. But how can I consider hiring them?! I’d have to see her and talk to her all the time!
I nod and glance at Zach Lockwood. I can’t look at her, so he’s the next best thing. His face is unreadable. “This looks very good. Would you be able to give me a few days to review everything and consult
with the artists?”
“Of course. Can we expect an answer by the end of the week? As you can appreciate it’ll take some time to launch the campaign.”
“I’ll have an answer by close of business tomorrow.”
“Great,” he says, and stands up to shake my hand. The commercial director, Harper, stands and does the same. They leave the office and before I know it, I’m alone with Rosie. She’s tidying her papers and stands up when I do.
Finally, our eyes meet again. I haven’t looked at her since she walked in the door and almost knocked me off my chair.
“Lucas,” she starts. Her hand brushes her ribs and I remember the scars that marked her body. I feel an almost magnetic pull towards her and all I want to do is take her in my arms, but then I remember she doesn’t want me. This is an act. Her eyes are almost pleading and I tighten my lips into a thin line. I don’t want to hear her excuses, to hear her apologise for ignoring me or whatever she’s about to tell me. I don’t even want to hear her voice, it sounds too nice and makes my resolve weaken. I interrupt her.
“Thanks for all that work, Rosie. You’re clearly talented. Like I said before I’ll have an answer by COB tomorrow. I just need to speak with my clients.”
She looks surprised, her eyebrows jump up a fraction of an inch but she nods quickly, rearranging her face with a mask of professionalism. She glances down at her things and closes her laptop gently, unplugging it from the projector.
“Of course, thank you for coming in this morning. Let me know if you have any questions about the mockups.”
“Will do.”
I brush past her, making sure not to touch her body. I keep my head down and stalk out of the room. It’s not until I’m in the elevator on the way down that I realise I’ve been holding my breath. I let it all out at once and all of a sudden feel like I’m about to fall over. The elevator doors open and I stumble out, making my way to the street and into a cab towards my hotel.
Knocked Up by the Single Dad Page 6