Somehow I’m able to keep it together until I get into my hotel room and collapse on the bed. My hands fly up to my face and I groan as I rub my eyes.
I turn over and grab the stack of papers that I got at Rosie’s office. Her proposal is good. Excellent, even. I’d be a fool to turn it down. I thumb through the papers and shake my head. Even the artists will be able to tell this is smarter and sharper than the last launch campaign. They’re waiting on my call, so it’s not like I can pretend I don’t have it.
I have two more meetings with other firms today but I already know this will be the best. Unless I can come up with an excuse, I’m going to have to come to terms with the fact that I’ll be working with Rosie very closely for the foreseeable future.
I roll over onto my back and groan again. I stare at a water stain on the ceiling, tracing the dark outline of it with my eyes until I have it memorised. My mind jumps back and forth - I could ask to work with someone else, citing a conflict of interest, or just say that I won’t work with her. I could put someone else in charge of these campaigns. I could hire another firm.
Every possible solution that I come up with falls short. She’s the brains behind the campaign, that much is clear. If I refuse to work with her then I basically refuse the campaign. If I put someone else in charge on my end I can’t guarantee they’ll deliver. If I hire another firm I’m doing my clients a disservice.
I can’t see any way out of it. I’m going to have to work with Rosie, and somehow forget the way her body tastes and smells, somehow forget the look on her face when she’s in the middle of an orgasm, somehow forget the days and weeks I spent staring at my silent phone and feeling like a fool.
With a deep breath I make my decision. I’ll work with the Lockwood firm. I sit up and prep for the next meeting, even though my mind is made up. It’s the best decision for my clients, that’s why I’m doing this.
I try to ignore the part of me that fills with excitement at getting to see Rosie again.
Chapter 20 - Rosie
I’ve been staring at a blank screen for ages. I’m numb. He hardly even looked at me, and couldn’t get away fast enough. He practically ran out the door before I could say anything.
What would I even have said?
Congratulations, you’re a father!
Please.
I sigh and put my elbows on my desk, resting my forehead in my hands. This is awful. Not only is he the father of my child and he doesn’t know it, but this whole mess has probably lost me the biggest opportunity of my career. When will I get the chance to lead this type of campaign again?? Especially if I have a kid to take care of.
The tears start gathering behind my eyelids and I take a few deep breaths to try to stop myself from bawling at my desk. I don’t know how long I’m sitting like this when Harper’s voice pulls me back to the present.
“You ok, Rosie?”
I look up and see her leaning against my cubicle wall, concern lining her face. I sit up a bit straighter.
“Yeah.”
I can’t think of anything else to say. Harper glances around and pulls a chair over.
“Are you sure? You don’t look ok.”
She sits down and leans forward, taking my hand in hers. I close my eyes and the tears spill down my cheeks.
“It’s just…” I whisper. I pause. I can’t tell her Lucas is the father! She’ll tell Zach, and then they’ll blame me for losing them the account. I look up at her and see her face lined with worry. “It’s nothing, Harper. I’m just worried about the baby.
She puts a hand on my arm and squeezes gently.
“It’ll be ok,” she says. The words are frustrating instead of pacifying. How could this possibly be ok??
I nod and force a smile. “Thanks,” I reply weakly.
“I have another meeting, let me know if you need anything. I mean it, Rosie, anything.”
I nod and ignore the lump in my throat. She walks away and my hands shake as I dial Jess.
“Jess,” I say as soon as she picks up. “He’s here. He was in the office. Oh God!”
“Who?” I can hear the panic in her voice. “Who, Rosie?”
“Lucas. It’s the guy from my birthday. It’s the…” I can’t bring myself to say it until I open my eyes and see Harper’s mouth drop open. Her eyes open in shock. I nod. “It’s the father. He’s hiring the firm.”
I hear Jess blow out the air from her lungs. She takes a deep breath in.
“The agent? The one you and Harper were talking about? With all the pop star clients?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“What do you mean? How is that possible?”
“I don’t know!” I exclaim. I take a deep breath and lower my voice, cradling the phone against my shoulder. “I don’t know. He was flying out that morning, he was going back to Los Angeles. I had no idea what he did for work.”
“Are you going to tell him?” She says in a hoarse whisper. I can hear the concern in her voice even through the phone.
“What would I say, Jess? How do you tell someone that? Someone you don’t know? I tried to have half a conversation with him today and he basically ran away. He doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
“He was probably just surprised, Rosie,” her voice is almost motherly and the tears start welling up again. “Maybe give him a call? You have his number now.”
I shake my head. “You should have seen the look he gave me, Jess. He was disgusted with me. How can I tell him I’m pregnant?! And I’ve probably lost the firm that contract. There’s no way he’ll hire us! And then Harper came over and I had to lie to her!! How could I tell her it was him? Zach would go nuts!
Jess is silent for a few moments and then she sighs. “Don’t worry about the firm. Zach’ll be ok, especially now that McKinley & Lee are out of business. Harper was just saying the other day that it’s busier than ever.” She pauses for what seems like forever and my heart sinks. “All you need to worry about is that baby inside you,” she continues. “You owe it to him to tell him, and then let him decide what he’ll do with the information. And Rosie,” she pauses.
“Yeah?”
“You should tell Harper. She’ll understand. Of all people, she should understand.”
I laugh. “You’re right. I’ll just wait until he tells us he can’t hire us.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Jess’s tinny voice comes over the phone. “He might be drawn to you and hire you just to be nearer.”
I snort. “Not likely.”
Jess laughs and we hang up the phone. She’s right, I have to tell Harper, and I have to tell Lucas. I’ll drive myself crazy if I start keeping secrets from everyone.
I spin my chair around and once again I’m staring at my computer screen. I open the email from yesterday and look at the footer. Lucas Thorne. His phone number is right there, all I have to do is pick up the phone and call.
My hands are shaking and my heart is thumping, and I haven’t even touched my phone. I can’t do this, not now.
I’ll wait till he tells us he’s not hiring us and then I’ll tell him. It’s cleaner this way, it doesn’t interfere with our professional obligations. Once he refuses our tender I’ll tell him he’s the father of our child. Easy, right?
Chapter 21 - Lucas
Yesterday and today have been torture. I had two more meetings with different advertising firms and my fears were confirmed. Their proposals were subpar, not even coming close to the quality of Rosie’s package. I sat through both meetings with a sinking feeling in my stomach.
I have to hire Lockwood’s firm. I have to work with Rosie. I owe it to my clients and nothing can change that fact.
The clock says it’s 4:45pm, which means I have fifteen minutes to call Zachary Lockwood and tell him he’s hired. I have fifteen minutes to lock myself in to six months of constant communication with Rosie, constant torture of seeing her and hearing her voice and knowing that she doesn’t want a
nything to do with me. Constant reminders of her rejection, and of that nagging feeling inside me that I still want her.
I close my eyes and I see her, laid out on her bed in front of me. The image has been burned in my mind since that night two months ago.
“Aaaahhhh, stop!” I yell to my empty hotel room. I jump out of bed and pull at my hair, bending over and pushing all the air out of my lungs.
I stand up again and rush to the desk at the other end of the room. I pick up my phone and in a couple seconds it’s ringing.
“Lucas!” Zach Lockwood answers on the second ring. “I was worried you’d forgotten about us.”
“Not likely,” I say, trying to hide the bitterness in my voice. “I’ve reviewed your proposal and I have a couple notes, but I’d like to move forward. I’ll send through the contract in the morning and we can proceed from there.”
“That’s great, really great. We have a talented team. You’ll love working with Rosie, she’s one of our best editors.”
My throat tightens and I nod, as if he could see me. “Right. Ok, thanks Zach. I’ll be in touch.”
I hang up as he’s answering and throw the phone back down.
It’s done.
Collapsing on the end of the bed, I hold my head in my hands and let out another sigh. I have no idea if that was the right decision. It could be the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life, just putting myself in an awkward situation for the sake of professionalism.
I don’t even know if it’s professionalism. It was the best proposal, sure, and my clients will benefit. But how much of it was because I actually want to see her again. I want to talk to her, to laugh with her, to get to know her? Even being in the same room as her today gave me a buzz.
As much as I try to deny it, I’m still drawn to her. I still want her.
It’s wrong! I need to get myself out of this situation. If I have to work with her for the foreseeable future I’ll drive myself bat shit crazy.
I pick up the phone again and dial my boss.
“Linda,” I say into the receiver.
“Lucas, how did it go?”
“Basically what I told you this morning. Lockwood has the best proposal by far, and I’ve told him we’re ready to move forward.”
“Great news. Good work, Lucas, you’ve saved our asses once again.”
“Yeah, listen, Linda, I’m hoping this will be enough to let me stay in LA. I’m not happy spending so much time travelling. I want to be nearer to my daughter.”
There’s a pause on the other end of the line. I can almost see her lips purse, her hand smooth over her hair as it’s always pulled back into a low grey bun. “Lucas, we need you over there. You have the contacts and the know-how. This deal wouldn’t have been done without you.”
“Linda, you’re not listening. My daughter is more important. Anybody can do this! Jake would be perfect! He’s young and has nothing tying him to LA.”
She sighs again. “I’ll have a think about it.”
“Alright. I’ll send the contract through tomorrow and let you know how the meetings with Lockwood go.”
“Speak to you soon.”
I throw my phone down and lie back on the bed. So much for my exit strategy.
My phone rings and makes me jump. Allie’s name pops up on the screen.
“Hi Dad!”
“Hi Allie,” I answer, sitting back down. “How was your day?”
“It was great! But are you OK? You sound sad.”
I sit up straighter and try to brighten my voice. “I’m ok, kiddo. Just tired from work.”
“Ok,” she says. She doesn’t sound convinced. “Are you going to be in New York for long?”
“Not too long, Al. Just a couple more days and then I’ll be back.” Back, and away from Rosie and this head-melting situation. Back home, to my daughter.
“Ok.” She starts telling me about her day and I ask her questions when I’m supposed to, but my heart isn’t in the conversation. I take a deep breath.
“I have to go to bed, Allie. I’m falling asleep here.”
“Ok. Hope you have a good sleep!”
“Me too, kiddo. I’ll talk to you later.”
I hang up the phone and sigh. It feels wrong to be rushing to get off the phone when I’m speaking to my daughter. It feels wrong to be distracted and unhappy when I’m talking to the person that matters most to me, when I should be enjoying every minute. It feels wrong to be almost disappointed that I’ll be leaving New York when my daughter is on the other side of the country, and the woman I can’t stop thinking about doesn’t even want me.
It feels wrong but I can’t help it. I’m attracted to Rosie - no, I’m drawn to her. It frustrates me and drives me insane but I can’t deny that I still want her, as much as I wanted her when I first laid eyes on her in that taxi.
I want her, and I can’t have her. Not only did she show me she’s not interested, but now we’ll be working together. If she hadn’t shut that door three months ago, I’ve definitely shut it now by signing this contract.
It was a fling, a one night stand, nothing more. She’s an attractive woman and even if I still want her, I can’t have her. I have to get over it and move on, for my sake and my daughter’s.
I’ll get this contract squared away and then leave New York. Hopefully I won’t have to be back for a long while and I can get my head straight again.
Chapter 22 - Rosie
“Team, can I get everyone’s attention?” Zach walks into the main room of the office and heads start popping up from cubicles like groundhogs. Harper walks out of her office and leans against the doorway. Our eyes meet across the room and she frowns slightly before turning towards her husband. She obviously doesn’t know what he’s about to say.
When everyone is looking at him, Zach speaks again.
“I’d like to congratulate everyone for putting in such a huge effort these past couple days, and one person in particular.” He turns towards me and my heart sinks when I realise what that means. “Rosie, the work you’ve done has been outstanding, and has just landed us the biggest contract in the firm’s history!”
Cheers and clapping sound out through the room and a coworker puts his hand on my shoulder in congratulations.
The biggest contract in the firm’s history. Lucas’s contract.
Zach keeps talking about working hard and this being just the beginning. Typical manager talk and I zone out.
For the second time today, I’m numb.
He didn’t refuse my proposal, he accepted it. He’ll be working with us for months and I’ll have to spend god knows how many hours with him.
I’ll be working with a man who hates me, who just happens to be the father of my child.
Great.
I look up from my desk and Harper is there. Her eyes are wide and she’s smiling from ear to ear. She opens her mouth as if to speak before Zach appears at her side.
“Excellent work, Rosie. We couldn’t have landed this contract without you.”
I nod, still feeling empty. “Thanks, Zach. I guess all that extra time I spent messing around with other people’s campaigns finally paid off.”
I laugh, but it sounds weak and thin even to me. Zach smiles and turns to Harper.
“You want to grab some lunch?”
Harper glances from him to me and I nod. I can tell she wants to stay with me but she can’t say anything without telling Zach everything about the pregnancy. If only she knew that Lucas was the father. How can I possibly tell her now?!
“And Rosie, you’ll come out tonight to celebrate?”
“Sure, Zach, that sounds good. You guys have a good lunch.”
Harper smiles at me and nods. The two of them turn away and I get up, grab my bag, and head to the bathroom. I go into the first stall and lock the door, put the toilet seat cover down and sit on it.
The dam bursts and all of a sudden I’m sobbing. The tears stream down m
y face and all I can do is grab my stomach and cry. My face contorts and I feel the pain of a thousand knives pierce through my chest. I cry and cry and cry until my whole body aches, and then I cry some more.
When the tears finally stop, I take a deep breath and wipe my face with the rough toilet paper. I shake my head. For such a fancy advertising firm all they can afford is single ply.
Throwing the tissue in the toilet, I finally get out of the stall and see myself in the bathroom mirror. My face is red and blotchy and the tip of my nose is shining like a light. My eyes are puffy.
I splash water on my face and try to cool it down but nothing seems to help. I try to touch up my makeup and hide it as best as I can but I still look like hell.
Sighing, I turn towards the door. Hopefully I can escape the office and head home without anyone asking too many questions. Just as I’m about to come out, the door swings open and Zach’s assistant, Becca walks in.
“Rosie! Are you OK? What’s wrong?”
“I’m fine, Becca. Just feeling a bit under the weather.”
She looks at me and says nothing, just nods and steps out of the way. The look she gave me said I know that’s a lie, but I’ve been there. Before I step out she clears her throat.
“If you need anything…”
“Maybe just let Harper know I’ve gone home.”
“Sure.”
And with that, I shuffle out the door and duck out of the office. I can’t face anyone right now, especially not coworkers.
Chapter 23 - Lucas
The phone rings and I sigh. My alarm clock says 7:22am, and I should be up and ready for work. The beers I had last night are making my head pound, and my mouth feels like I’ve been eating cotton balls.
I know I shouldn’t have drank anything but I had to do something to blow off some steam. Rosie’s face kept going around and around in my head. It still is, even after a night of one too many drinks.
Knocked Up by the Single Dad Page 7