Come Home, Cowboy

by Julie Benson

  * * *

  REED’S STOMACH KNOTTED up when Estes Park came into view. The main drag into town was four lanes now instead of two, but even at rush hour, the traffic seemed nonexistent by San Francisco standards and, damn, a turtle moved faster! They passed The Stanley Hotel, a white giant perched on a hill above the town. Farther down W. Elkhorn Avenue, shops catering to the tourists that kept the town of ten thousand alive lined the sidewalks. So many people came to Estes Park to enjoy the scenery, shop and relax. Here, they could get away from their lives and slow down for a while. Recharge their batteries.

  Not Reed. How would he face anyone after what he’d done to his father? Sure, he’d changed, but everyone in Estes Park knew who he’d been. That’s why when he visited Colt he stayed on the ranch, but that wouldn’t be an option now.

  As they left the town behind and drove past other bigger ranches, Reed longed to be back in the city where he could blend in with the masses. Where he could walk past people and no one knew him. No one knew what he’d spent a lifetime running from.

  When Colt turned down the long gravel driveway to the Rocking M, Reed’s chest tightened. Pine and aspen trees stood guard. Others would call the rustic ranch settled among the rugged Rocky Mountains beautiful, maybe even going so far as serene, but not Reed. The mountains loomed over the ranch like silent giants, reminding him of his father—harsh, unyielding and domineering.

  Memories bombarded him as the simple ranch house came into view. Colt had painted the place a soft brown instead of the dingy cream Reed remembered and had planted new landscaping, but the alterations couldn’t change his memories or the fact that he’d been glad to be free of the place. For Reed, the old man’s presence dominated everything on the ranch. Even after all these years and everything he’d done to shake him.

  Like staying away from Estes Park while his father had been alive.

  “You know where the guest room is,” Colt said once they stepped inside the front door. “When you’re ready I’ll give you the rundown on the place.”

  While Reed had returned to the Rocking M since Colt owned the place, his visits had so far consisted of a Thanksgiving weekend or a couple of days over Christmas, and he’d avoided going into town. He’d worked so hard to leave his past behind, but that was hard to do when everyone in town knew who he’d been.

  Especially Avery.

  Ben McAlister, Avery’s father, had done him a favor all those years ago, though at the time, Reed had thought it had been the worst thing ever to happen to him.

  Your father’s an alcoholic who beats the people he claims to love. You’ve changed this summer, and I hate to say it, but I see glimpses of him in you, son. You need to grow up and deal with your past. Until you do that, all you’ll do is drag my daughter down with you.

  As Reed trudged up the stairs he told himself he’d be damned if he’d let his memories pull him back.

  He walked into the guest bedroom and his throat closed up. While the room looked nothing like it had when he’d lived here—now resembling a hotel room with its nondescript accessories and earth tones—all he saw was the past. He pictured himself as a scared child, huddled in the corner between his bed and the wall as the sounds of his parents arguing shook the house. He remembered how often he curled up on his bed, his chest aching from the blows his father’s meaty fists had delivered. He pictured himself as a teenager sprawled on the floor, the world spinning around him from drinking too much beer to numb the pain.

  He’d never been able to stand being here for longer than four days. How would he handle staying for possibly a year? One nightmare at a time. And he’d do what he’d always done. He’d focus on work. After dumping his suitcase in the closet, he practically ran out of the room.

  When he and Colt toured the ranch, Reed realized almost as many ghosts taunted him outside as in the damned house. They walked past the hay pasture and he remembered how his dad had smacked his head so hard his ears rang for a day after he’d gotten the tractor wheel stuck in a hole and it had taken them over an hour to pull the thing loose.

  Don’t go there. Remember who you are, not who you were.

  He needed to remain focused on tasks and what needed to be done while Colt was gone. If he stayed busy enough he might survive. “I knew Dad sold some land before he died, but I didn’t know it was this much.”

  “Damn near half of the acreage. My guess is once you left he was too lazy to do the work and too cheap to hire hands, so selling off the land and stock was the easiest way to keep a roof over his head and his liquor cabinet full.”

  “That sounds like our father.”

  “I’ve been rebuilding the place, but it’s been slow going.”

  Especially with a wife like Lynn. Reed often thought if she hadn’t gotten pregnant in Colt’s senior year, she and his brother would’ve broken up after high school. Instead, his brother had graduated, enlisted in the air force and they got married.

  Five years ago when their father died, Colt bought Reed’s share of the ranch, and his family returned to Colorado. His brother hoped putting down roots would make his wife happy, since she’d grown weary of military life, something he loved. Something he saw as a calling. Part of the compromise had been that Colt could join the National Guard Reserves. Unfortunately, despite everything Colt did, he didn’t get the happy ending.

  Reed had gotten the better end of the deal. He’d used the money Colt paid him to start his company.

  The dusty smell of hay hit him when they entered the barn, bringing with it reminders of the hours he’d spent toting hay and horse feed to the barn.

  “How can you stand living here? Don’t the memories get to you?”

  “I just remember the bastard’s dead and buried. I’ve had a damned good time changing things around the place. I hope some of them have him turning over in his grave. That gives me a whole helluva lot of pleasure.” Colt thumped his brother on the back. “I know this is tough for you.”

  “I’ll be honest. I’m not sure I can stand being here a year.” He looked his brother straight in the eyes. “You don’t know what it was like after you left.”

  While they were teenagers, Colt had saved Reed more than once. When their dad went on a tirade, Reed shouted back or argued. He and his father went at it like two bulls stuck in the same pasture. Colt was the one who stepped in to defuse the situation, or he hauled Reed off before his dad could beat him to death. When Colt left for the air force, their father’s anger had spiraled out of control.

  He’d come home one night to find his dad drunk and spoiling for a fight, hammering on his favorite subject—how Reed was a bastard for leaving him to fend for himself. One thing led to another, and his father had punched him in the face. Something inside Reed had shattered that night, and without Colt there, he exploded.

  He whirled, delivering blow after blow until his father collapsed on the floor. His chest heaving, Reed stood over the man who had tormented him for years. Then the reality of what he’d done sank in. He’d stooped to his father’s level by taking his anger out on another human being. His father roused enough to scream that he’d make Reed pay. He’d call the police and see that Reed’s sorry, ungrateful ass landed in jail.

  Panic consuming him, Reed ran out of the house. Hours later, he found himself at the McAlisters’ front door. Avery held him while the whole damned mess poured out of him. Then she’d woken up her parents.

  Once Reed had explained to Avery’s parents what had happened, Ben McAlister had called his lawyer. When Reed claimed he couldn’t afford that, Ben told him not to worry about the money. Without Ben paying for his attorney, Reed could’ve gone to jail. He never knew the details of how Ben and his attorney got his father to drop the charges. They never said, and he never asked.

  That one event had changed him in ways he still didn’t understand.

  “I’ve g
ot an idea what it was like. That’s why you coming back to stay with Jess was always the backup plan. That’s why I didn’t want to ask you to do it, and if Joanne hadn’t broken her hip, I wouldn’t have.”

  “I’m also worried about dealing with Jess.” That and holding his company together, but Reed left out that detail. Colt carried enough weight on his shoulders.

  When Reed had first spotted Jess at the airport, dressed in tight, low-cut jeans with a deep V-neck sparkly T-shirt that barely covered her midriff, he’d wanted to turn around and catch the first plane going anywhere.

  “If I can’t handle being here...if I get your in-laws’ Association of Homeowners to make an exception, and I can get Jess to agree, are you okay with her living with her grandparents?”

  Colt nodded. “As long as Jess agrees, I’m fine with it.”

  Reed’s fear subsided now that he had a safety net.

  “Jess is a good kid. Lynn’s leaving really did a number on her. How the hell could she run off on her daughter? She didn’t even have the nerve to tell Jess before she left. I had to,” Colt said as they walked toward the horse stalls. “Damn, that was hard. You should’ve seen Jess’s face. She looked at me with those big brown eyes of hers, and asked why her mom didn’t love her anymore.”

  Reed stood there stunned. He knew Lynn’s leaving had been bad, but Colt hadn’t told him what a bitch she’d been. “You sure picked a winner.”

  “You’re right about that. The only good thing I got out of that marriage was Jess. She’s worth whatever hell I went through.” Colt shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. “School starts the day after tomorrow. It about takes a crowbar to get Jess out of bed, and she takes forever to get ready. Classes start at eight. If she isn’t up by seven, she’ll be late. You need to leave by seven forty-five.”

  Reed jotted down information about Jess’s routines, the location of important documents and anything else he thought he might need to remember.

  “She seems nervous about starting high school this year.” Colt shook his head. “I don’t remember us worrying about the kind of stuff she does—imagined slights, who’s best friends with who, who said what about her outfit. The worst arguments are about boys. Girls are downright mean to each other. And their fights...” Colt whistled through his teeth.

  “Worse than ours?”

  Colt nodded as they walked past another stall. “We pounded on each other, but then it was over. Not with girls. When they get mad the emails and tweets fly. Girls divide into two camps. Then the tears start. Sometimes for days, and Jess won’t talk about it. Then when I think it’ll never end, they’re all friends again.”

  Lord help him. He’d rather fight off a hostile takeover than face what Colt had just described. Why didn’t society ship all teenage girls off to an island, and allow them to come back only once their sanity returned?

  “You’re not making me feel better about this. What do you do during all this drama?”

  “Drama? That attitude will get you in trouble.”

  Reed froze as a lilting feminine voice washed over him. How many times had he heard that sultry voice in his dreams? Way too many to count, but never once when he’d come back had he sought her out. He wasn’t one to borrow trouble. They were too different. He couldn’t live here again, and she wouldn’t live anywhere else. More important, though, she wanted children and he didn’t.

  He glanced over his shoulder at the woman coming out of a horse stall two doors down. She’d been pretty in high school, but the word failed to describe her now. Tall and willowy, even dressed in dirty jeans and a shapeless scrub top, without any makeup, the woman before him could stop traffic when she crossed the street.

  Avery McAlister.

  Staring at the beautiful blonde in front of him, he knew he’d been right to avoid Avery, because seeing the only woman he’d ever loved hurt worse than any blow he’d taken from his father.

  Chapter Two

  “Avery, what are you doing here?”

  “It’s good to see you, too, Reed.” Avery laughed nervously as she forced herself to remain outwardly calm despite the blood pounding in her ears.

  The last time she’d seen him he’d been tall and lanky, but in the years since, his frame had filled out in all the right ways. His shoulders were broader now, and he might even have grown an inch or two. His chiseled features, strong jaw and short black hair remained the same. Dressed in tailored slacks and a pinstriped shirt, Reed Montgomery, the boy she’d dated and fallen in love with in high school, had grown into a fine-looking man.

  And he didn’t show the slightest hint of guilt over breaking up with her via email all those years ago.

  Avery tried to shut off the memories, but they broke free. She and Reed had met in Mrs. Hutchison’s kindergarten class. They’d been seated at the same table and were busy drawing when Bennett Chambers yanked the yellow crayon from her hand. She’d been about to punch him in the arm when Reed whispered something she couldn’t hear to Bennett. The boy’s eyes widened and he paled, then a second later she had the yellow crayon.

  They began dating their sophomore year of high school and fell in love soon after. In their senior year, Reed gave her a promise ring and they started making plans for their future. They both wanted to go to college. He’d received a scholarship from Stanford to study business, and she had one from Colorado State to study veterinary medicine, but he promised to come home as often as he could. Then a month after leaving for California, he sent her a short email. He loved living on the West Coast. He didn’t want to come back to Colorado. Ever. He didn’t want to get married. He didn’t want children. He thought it was best they end things.

  Being young, foolish and unable to let the relationship go that easily, Avery had called him. When he didn’t answer, she’d left tearful messages on his voice mail, begging him to talk to her, which he never did. Then she wrote long letters that came back unopened.

  Staring him down now, she reminded herself she wasn’t the naive teenager willing to beg a man not to break up with her anymore, and she was damned if she’d let him see how much his coming back shook her.

  “I’m here checking on Charger’s injured foreleg. I’m a vet now, and the director of the Estes Park animal shelter.” Take that. I went on with my life and made something of myself.

  “I’m glad you’re doing well, though I’m not surprised. You always could do anything you put your mind to.”

  Except hang on to you.

  Their small talk sounded inane considering how intimate they’d once been. “What are you doing here, Reed?”

  “I’m staying with Jess while Colt’s in Afghanistan.”

  So that’s what had brought him back. She turned to Colt. About the same height as his younger brother and almost as handsome, Colt had inherited their mother’s blond hair while Reed resembled their dark-haired father. “I’ll keep you and Jess in my prayers while you’re gone.”

  Colt nodded. “I appreciate that.”

  “You’re staying here for what, a year? Eighteen months?” she asked Reed. “You must have a very understanding boss.”

  “A year. Luckily I own my own small company, and thanks to Skype it shouldn’t be too difficult to run things long-distance.”

  He was still as confident as ever, Avery mused, and yet she wondered if Reed’s plan was one that looked great on paper, but wouldn’t work well in practice.

  “Wow. You own a company.”

  “It’s not as glamorous as people think. I put in more hours than any of my employees, and I get a salary like everyone else. Most of what the company makes goes right back into developing new products.”

  A cell phone rang. “I’m sorry. I’ve got to take this call,” Reed said.

  As he moved away, his phone glued to his ear, Avery turned to Colt. “Are you sure about this? I think
running a business long-distance will be harder than he thinks.”

  “I don’t have a choice.” Colt explained about his mother-in-law’s health issues, the age restrictions in his in-laws’ community and Jess’s reluctance to live with her grandparents. “Reed will settle in. He’ll do right by Jess.”

  Colt’s daughter had gone through so much over the past year. Some women shouldn’t have a pet, much less a child, and Lynn Montgomery had been one of those women. Now Jess’s dad was being deployed. How much could a teenage girl take?

  Avery wondered where she would’ve been without her mother to talk to during her adolescence. Her dad had been great, but he’d never quite understood things from her perspective. He saw things, well, like a guy. Did Jess have any women in her life to talk to now that her father was being deployed and she would be living with her bachelor uncle?

  Who had never wanted children.

  “Reed hasn’t been around Jess very much. Are you sure he can handle this?”

  She shook herself mentally. She always did this—got attached to any stray that wandered across her path. Colt was Jess’s father. If he thought Reed was the best person to care for his child, who was she to criticize? But neither of them knew what it was like to be a teenage girl, one of the most insecure creatures on the planet.

  Reed joined them, irritation marring his classic good looks. “Jess and I have a good relationship. We’ll be fine. She’s not an infant that needs watching 24/7. Things will be hectic for a while until I’ve reassured my customers that my physical absence won’t affect my business, but then everything will settle into a predictable routine.”

  Avery laughed. “Predictable routine? With a teenager? Good luck with that.”

  “She has a point, Reed,” Colt added. “Teenagers give mules stubborn lessons. You’ll have to be a little flexible.”

  “Lucky for me I’ve got great negotiation skills.”

  “Good thing, because you’ll need them.” Pride cometh before the fall popped into Avery’s mind. With Reed’s attitude, one was sure coming. Not that it was her concern. Needing to steer the conversation to a safer topic, Avery said, “Charger’s leg is better. I changed the dressing. The redness and swelling have subsided, but keep him away from the other horses a while longer. I don’t want the wound getting reopened.”