Last Breath (A Gideon Johann Western Book 5)

by Duane Boehm

  Relieved that Saturday had finally arrived, Gideon had no intentions of going to town that day. He planned to check the herd and visit Joann. Finnie would see to the prisoners getting fed. Gideon despised housing prisoners and anxiously waited for the trials to begin. He’d met with D.A. Kile again and the confident district attorney had once again assured him that they’d get convictions on all the men. The prosecutor planned to serve the subpoena on the railroad come Monday and the trial would begin on the judge’s next scheduled appearance in Last Stand.

  Abby walked out onto the porch. She took Gideon’s hand, draped his arm over her shoulders, and leaned into him.

  “That’s a couple of fine looking children if I do say so myself,” she said.

  “That they are. I guess I can’t even say anything bad about Winnie’s daddy now that Marcus and I have made peace,” Gideon said and smiled down at his wife.

  “Please don’t. He’s actually looked me in the face the last couple of times I’ve taken Winnie to see him and even acknowledged Chance’s existence,” Abby said.

  A rider came into view coming up the driveway. From the color of the horse and the way the rider sat in the saddle, Gideon recognized the horseman as Zack. His son–in–law rode into the yard and jumped down from his horse, scooping Winnie and Chance up under each arm. He somehow managed to hold and tickle them at the same time until he’d extracted kisses from each child. With his mission accomplished, he released his quarry and walked onto the porch.

  Abby remained tucked under Gideon’s arm as Zack approached them.

  “What brings you out here?” Abby asked.

  Zack looked out into the yard to make sure that Winnie wasn’t listening. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with Joann. She’ll be better for a day or two after you or Sarah talk to her and then she slips right back into sitting in that rocking chair all day. Ethan needs help now that Kurt is in jail and I need to do things on our homestead, but I hate leaving her alone that way. She won’t listen to me. I’m worried about her and I’m about at my wits’ end,” he said.

  Moving a step away from Gideon so that she could see her husband as she talked, Abby said, “Gideon, maybe you need to go talk to her. Sometimes a girl needs to hear things from her father.”

  Gideon started rubbing his scar. “I don’t know about that. Sarah is the one that’s good for a fire and brimstone sermon when one is needed,” he said.

  “I’m not sure that is what is called for this time. Sarah needed to light a fire to get Mary out of bed after her miscarriage and to try to get you to straighten out your life, but I don’t think that is what Joann will respond to – she needs encouragement. I think she needs to hear from you that she has to get back to being a wife and that time heals,” Abby said.

  Still unconvinced, Gideon said, “Maybe she needs to hear it from the man that raised her. Your Uncle Jake and Aunt Rita need to get down here.”

  “Yes, they do and they’re planning on coming next month. That’s the earliest that they can get away. What’s with you? I’ve never seen you so hesitant to help out on something in my life,” Abby questioned.

  “I’m just not sure that somebody that wasted fourteen years of their life running from their troubles is the one to be preaching to Joann. And it’s not like I’ve been around that long being a father to her,” Gideon said as he dropped into the swing.

  “Now you’re being silly. That’s exactly why you should be the one to talk to her. And that father–daughter thing is nonsense. You know darn well that she thinks of you as her daddy,” Abby said.

  Zack watched the exchange going back and forth and began feeling hopeless. “Please, Gideon,” he pleaded.

  Gideon looked at Zack and then towards Abby. “Of course I’ll do it. I planned to go see her today anyway, but I just question if I’m the right one to talk to her or if I can even do it. This is still raw to me too. Sometimes I can barely stand to let myself think about Tess,” he said.

  “I know, honey, but I think she needs her father right now,” Abby said.

  Abby turned to Zack. “What about you? How are you doing?” she asked.

  A pain–laced smile crossed Zack’s face and his eyes moistened. “I’ll be fine as long as Joann gets better. She needs to get out of that damn rocker and do something. I can hardly think about Tess for worrying about Joann,” he said.

  Stepping towards Zack, Abby hugged him. “Things will get better. She’s too strong not to bounce back,” she said.

  The thought of confronting Joann made Gideon feel restless and want to pace. He stood up and looked out into the yard. Winnie and Chance chased the dog and Gideon wondered why life couldn’t stay as simple as that of a child. Once adulthood came, the other side of every hill seemed to have sorrow waiting there to grab you. He pondered if humans were built so that they required bad times in order to appreciate the joys of life. If true, he questioned if it were really worth the costs. Watching Red run around with the kids, he decided that a well–loved dog might have the best of all worlds.

  “Gideon, are you leaving now?” Abby asked.

  Forced from his reverie, Gideon turned towards his wife. “I guess I better. I think I’ll go in the wagon and take her for a ride,” he said.

  “I wonder if taking her to see Mary and Sam would do her good or upset her,” Abby mused as much to herself as to the others.

  “I think that might be a bit too much. What do you think, Zack?” Gideon said.

  Zack shrugged his shoulders indecisively. “I don’t know. Nothing else is working,” he noted.

  “I’m going to go hitch the wagon. I’ll think about it and play it by ear,” Gideon said.

  “I’ll see you later,” Abby said before kissing Gideon goodbye.

  Turning to Zack, Gideon said, “Go fishing or go see Ethan. Do something that you enjoy and get your mind off your troubles for a while.”

  Zack nodded his head.

  On the ride over to see Joann, Gideon tried to imagine saying all the things he needed to tell his daughter. Frustrated at his lack of imagination, he gave up on the endeavor. He had no idea what kind of a mood she might be in and their conversation would surely be dictated by that more than what he wanted her to hear anyhow.

  As he pulled the wagon into the yard, he found Joann sitting on the steps of the porch. Her hair looked damp from a washing and she wore one of her Sunday dresses. She remained sitting idly as Gideon climbed down from the wagon.

  “You look pretty. Are you feeling better?” Gideon asked.

  “I don’t know. I just needed to feel like somebody again so I took a bath and put on this dress,” Joann answered.

  Joann stood up and Gideon realized how thin his daughter had become. She appeared to be skinnier than before she became pregnant. Her cheeks were sunken, making her cheekbones jut out, and her large blue eyes look too big for her face.

  “How about we ride to town and go to the café. I’ll buy you a big steak or biscuits and gravy – anything you want. You need to put some meat on those bones or one of those mountain storms is liable to blow you away,” he said.

  He could see her mulling over the proposition and she looked unsure whether she liked the idea.

  “Okay, let’s go,” she said as if it were against her better judgement.

  On the ride into town, Gideon kept the conversation on any subject but Joann. To kill the silence, he went into great detail about the rustling case and solving the crimes. The closest he came to getting into a problematic topic was mentioning Chance’s latest escapades and his expanding vocabulary.

  Gideon pulled the wagon in front of the café and helped Joann down. After taking their seats, Charlotte quickly came to take the orders. Both father and daughter ordered steak and potatoes with a side of beans. Charlotte returned with their food a short time later. As they ate their meals, a few people came by the table to say hello and a couple others offered their condolences. Joann seemed unfazed by the interruptions and attacked her food as if she we
re starving.

  Watching his daughter closely to try to judge her state of mind, Gideon debated whether to mention visiting Mary and the baby. The day had gone so well that he was tempted not to bring up the subject, but also feared nothing would be resolved without getting Joann to talk about her feelings.

  “I was sitting here thinking that maybe we should stop in and see Mary and Sam. Mary’s been asking about you a lot. I know she hated that she didn’t get to see Tess or come to the funeral,” Gideon said.

  Joann’s jaw set and she placed her fork on the plate. She looked Gideon directly in the eyes. Gideon had no idea what she might be thinking or what she would say, and he took a bite of steak in an attempt to seem casual.

  “Is that why you brought me here?” she asked in an aggressive whisper.

  “No, I brought you here because you’re too skinny. I just thought we might kill two birds with one stone. I know Mary would like for you to see Sam and she’s missed you. She is your friend. You can’t hide away in that cabin forever,” he said.

  Joann continued staring at him as if trying to determine whether he had told the truth. Not wishing to seem guilty, Gideon met her stare head on.

  “Daddy, I don’t know if I can stand seeing a baby,” Joann confessed.

  “It’s your decision, but holding a baby might do you good. Sam might not be Tess, but a child is a powerful and healing thing to hold in your arms. I can attest to that,” Gideon said.

  Looking up towards the ceiling, Joann let out a big sigh. “We can try it. I might end up bolting from the room, but we’ll see,” she said.

  Eating the rest of the meal in silence, Joann now ate slowly and the apprehension showed in her face as she meticulously chewed her food. Once finished, Gideon paid for the meal and they walked over to the jail. Finnie sat at the desk cleaning his revolver.

  “What brings you to town?” Finnie asked.

  “We’ve come to visit Mary. I was hoping that you could go see if now would be a good time,” Gideon said.

  Finnie looked at Gideon and then at Joann. “Sure. Sure. I’ll be right back,” he said as he scrambled from his seat.

  Gideon checked on the four prisoners while waiting for Finnie. He had put Shores and Hill in a cell together so that Lacey would not share a share a cell wall with any of the others for fear they might try to kill him. With the arrests in Alamosa, the others had figured out that he had talked and continually harassed and threatened him.

  Finnie returned in short order. “Mary says to come on up to the bedroom. She’s ready,” he announced.

  Taking Joann by the arm, Gideon guided his daughter to the alley and through the back door of the saloon. He led her up the stairs to the bedroom and knocked on the door.

  “Come on in,” Mary called out.

  Gideon opened the door and ushered Joann into the room. Sam lay on the couples’ bed shaking his arms and kicking his legs. Mary moved catlike to Joann and embraced her.

  “I’ve missed you. I so wanted to see Tess and come to the funeral, but Doc would have none of it. I’m so sorry, Joann,” Mary said.

  Joann squeezed Mary and buried her face against the other woman. “Thank you,” she stammered.

  Mary grasped Joann by the shoulders and held her at arm’s length. “You’re too skinny. You need to start eating. Do you want to hold Sam?” she asked.

  Joann looked down at the baby and studied him. “I think so,” she said before sitting down on the bed.

  Already an expert at handling infants, Joann swooped Sam up into her arms. She looked down at his face before pressing him tightly against her chest. Twisting her torso side to side, she rocked Sam. “He’s absolutely beautiful,” she said. Her eyes welled with tears and she squeezed her mouth tightly shut as she looked at Mary.

  “We think he’s pretty special. I have to get after Finnie to leave Sam alone when he’s sleeping,” Mary said.

  Joann bent over and kissed the baby on the forehead. She inhaled his scent with a long breath. “I wish you could have seen Tess. She looked beautiful too. They would have made a pretty pair,” she said as her shoulders began quivering and a sob escaped her.

  Mary sat down beside Joann and wrapped her arm around the younger woman’s shoulders. She leaned in close. “Don’t give up. You’ll have your time too. I know you miss Tess, but you have to carry on for her and her future brothers and sisters. You’re too special not bring life into this world. Okay?”

  Joann nodded her head, but didn’t reply.

  Waiting a few minutes as the women talked about baby stuff, Gideon wondered if his daughter had reached her limit. “We better go,” he said.

  Passing the baby to Mary, Joann said, “Thank you. I’m glad we stopped in. And give Sam a kiss for me tonight.” She jumped up and used her fingers to wipe out her eyes. Turning towards Mary, she forced a smile.

  “I’ll be coming out to see you soon,” Mary said.

  Gideon and Joann walked quickly back to the wagon and headed out of town. Neither spoke as they rode. Seeing Joann holding Sam had made Gideon ache for Tess. He had been too busy the last few days to dwell on the loss, but now her death seemed as fresh as the day that they had buried the child. Sitting up straight, he sought to project the strength he wasn’t feeling.

  “Sam could die tomorrow. Babies are so helpless,” Joann blurted out.

  Gideon looked over at his daughter. “Yes, he could and so could you or I. Anybody can die. That’s life. That’s why it’s so important to make the most of it. Live everyday like it’s your last,” he said before turning the horses off the road and heading up a ridge.

  The steepness of the hill made the horses strain as they pulled the wagon. Gideon coaxed the animals on by popping the reins until they reached the top. To the north stretched a massive mountain range. Snow still covered the very tops of the gray granite peaks and the valleys looked deep green with the summer grasses. A single eagle floated in the wind as if he ruled all as far as the eye could see. Gideon found the scene awe–inspiring and wished he knew how to paint landscapes. He secretly longed to replicate the beauty of the mountains even as they made him feel small and impotent.

  “Maybe I’m not strong enough for life,” Joann remarked.

  “Nonsense. You’re every bit as strong as Abby or Sarah for that matter. You’ve just been dealt a terrible blow,” he said.

  “I don’t know anymore,” she said.

  “Joann, look at those mountains. I can feel God in them, and if there’s a God, there has to be a plan to all of this. I don’t have any of the answers and I don’t know why Tess’s time on earth was so short or why we’re left to deal with her loss. But we all have to carry on with our lives,” Gideon said, his voice trailing off.

  “But you wasted fourteen years of your life running from your conscience and now you and everybody else act as if I’m supposed to go on and pretend like nothing ever happened,” Joann accused.

  “That’s right, I did waste all that time and that’s why I know better than anyone what I’m talking about. They say that time heals. That’s a load of horse manure. Time doesn’t heal anything. Healing begins when you accept your loss and learn to live with it. Nobody is asking you to get up tomorrow morning and act like Tess had never been born. We’re all asking you to get up and start living again. Mourn all that you need, but don’t sit in that damn rocking chair all day long being sad. I expect you’ll still grieve for Tess on the day you die. I know that I will be. It’s okay to laugh again or to go to a dance. Running for fourteen years didn’t make that little boy’s loss any less tragic and sitting in that chair won’t make Tess’s loss any more meaningful. Zack deserves better of you and you deserve better of yourself. Don’t waste all that time like I did. Begin living again,” Gideon said, his voice breaking up until he couldn’t speak.

  Joann looked at her father. Tears streaked her face and her eyes were red and swollen. Her mouth quivered before she spoke. “I’ll try, Daddy. I promise I’ll try.”

 
Thank you very much for reading Last Breath!

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  Other Books By Duane Boehm

  The first four #1 Bestselling Gideon Johann Western Series novels together in one boxed set. This boxed set contain Last Stand, Last Chance, Last Hope, and Last Ride.

  Gideon Johann had been gone from Last Stand, Colorado for eighteen years, seeming to have vanished after the Civil War. He is a man running from his conscience and keeping on the move seems to be the only thing preventing it from destroying him. Rumors of his whereabouts occasionally reach Last Stand, but no one from there had seen or heard from him since the war, leaving both the girl he left behind and his best friend with a chapter of their lives unresolved. Things change in Last Stand when a stranger is found shot and near death. The realization that the man is Gideon sets in motion old grudges, love, and a chance for redemption.

  Follow the lives of Gideon Johann and the people of Last Stand in a small town of the old west. Purchase on Amazon: The Gideon Johann Boxed Set

  Gideon Johann had been gone from Last Stand, Colorado for eighteen years, seeming to have vanished after the Civil War. He is a man running from his conscience and keeping on the move seems to be the only thing preventing it from destroying him. Rumors of his whereabouts occasionally reach Last Stand, but no one from there had seen or heard from him since the war, leaving both the girl he left behind and his best friend with a chapter of their lives unresolved. Things change in Last Stand when a stranger is found shot and near death. The realization that the man is Gideon sets in motion old grudges, love, and a chance for redemption. Purchase on Amazon: Last Stand