The Secret Catamite Bk 1, The Book of Daniel

by Patrick C Notchtree

  For a moment they just lay, recovering. Daniel lifted his head and kissed Simon gently. "We came off together. Brilliant.

  “Fire! fire! fire down below;

  Fetch a bucket of water, boys, There's fire down below! "

  Daniel pushed the bedclothes back and rolled off Simon, reaching down for a box of Kleenex for Men next to the bed.

  "Here, let me clean you up," said Daniel. "You've got mine as well as yours. 'Stays strong when wet', they say. I bet this is what they really mean."

  Simon let Daniel wipe him clean with the tissues, his tummy and between his legs.

  "Some of mine's on the sheet. Wait a minute." Daniel got up with the tissues he had used and went into the bathroom, flushing the tissues away. He came back with a towel which he put on the sheet and the two lay on that.

  "We'll use a towel or something next time," said Daniel, pulling the bedcovers over them. Simon snuggled up to Daniel, resting his head on Daniel's shoulder.

  "What about your Mum?" asked Simon. "The extra towel, I mean."

  "Oh, she's always saying I don't change my towel often enough. That'll be OK."

  They lay together in silence for a few moments.

  Then Simon spoke. "Is it wrong?"

  "What?"

  "Us. Like this. Sex."

  "Does it feel wrong to you?"

  "No. The opposite. Sex with you feels so right. It's fantastic. But just coz it feels right – does it mean it is right?"

  "Oh, we both know that lots of people anyway would think it's wrong, but I don't care about them. I care about us."

  "Doesn't it say in the Bible it's wrong?" persisted Simon.

  "It says lots of things in the Bible, some of it's well out of date. Look, God gave us our bodies. He gave us sex. So it can't be wrong to enjoy it."

  "But sex is supposed to be for having children. We can't have children."

  "Speak for yourself. I will when I'm grown up. I bet you do. I'm going to have two boys and two girls. And I bet God doesn't want us to be having kids at our age, but we've still got sex. So let's enjoy it while we're young. Having kids is for later, if we're all still here, so we'll still be doing what God wants."

  "I suppose you're right."

  "Course I am," said Daniel. He leaned over and kissed Simon. Simon felt Daniel's lips against his and all doubt was swept away.

  "We're only young once," said Simon, "and the bomb might drop tomorrow." He turned and pulled Daniel down onto him and kissed him again, his hands in Daniel's hair, sliding over Daniel's back, following the smooth contours of his fit body. It had been a marvellous evening after all. That night Simon dreamt of Daniel as he had seen him, playing cricket at school, the sunlight on his cricket whites making him seem like a vision from heaven.

  1958/7 Defining the roles

  Both boys were now involved in and supporting each other in their sporting activity, Daniel of course mainly for swimming and for Simon, running. Whether it was the physical training or natural maturation and growth, or more likely a combination, each noted and took delight in the way each other became more muscular, filled out and of course the growth of underarm and pubic hair. This transition towards manhood was a journey they made together, inevitably with Daniel some two years ahead with Simon approaching twelve and Daniel towards fourteen, but this also helped Simon become aware of his own progress, by watching and learning from Daniel's experience.

  Simon grew in confidence, boosted by Daniel's regard for him, and the success he gained as a runner added to this. His talent was recognised as a short sprinter, the ability to accelerate quickly and maintain high speed over short distance gave him success, especially at 100 yards events, where he first represented his house year at school, and then Hooray Henrys in local interschool events. Longer distance, and especially cross country running, a favourite at Henrys, was anathema to him. The smaller and lighter Peter Holman did well at this, and would encourage Simon when his body wanted to stop on the compulsory cross country runs, which sometimes included the local sewage works, often at the expense of Peter's own placing.

  Such was the boys' increasing fitness and growth that the once hour-long bike ride to the aerodrome hill was now accomplished in forty minutes or so. Having found a place where they felt safe, adders apart (and they never saw another one), they stayed with it, and the aircraft provided both a reason and some entertainment from their vantage point.

  Lying in the long grass on a warm, sunny July day, they were relaxing in the familiar comfort of each other. As arousal took hold of both of them, Daniel surprised Simon.

  "Simon, why don't you go on top?"

  "Don't you mind? You sure?" asked Simon, uncertainly.

  "Yeah, come on. Try it," replied Daniel, turning face up and drawing Simon to him. So Simon did. Pushing himself in to the warmth of Daniel's loins, he found it arousing but within he was in some way uncomfortable. He found the same when they kissed, with Daniel beneath him, and also the friction was starting to hurt him, so after a while he just stopped.

  "What the matter?" asked Daniel gently, holding him.

  "It's not right," Simon said, easing himself off, lying next to Daniel. His insecurity returned and he felt unsettled. Daniel moved so they were on their sides, facing each other, a more familiar situation for Simon.

  "Why not? There's no rule that says it has to be me on top," said Daniel, stroking Simon's short hair.

  "Well, you’re older than me."

  "So what? We're friends, aren't we? It doesn't matter who's older or younger."

  "It just didn't feel right, me on you. I mean, you've always been ahead of me. At school, scouts as well as this."

  "Now you're being an idiot. That's only coz I'm older. You're just as good as me. You're as fit as me. Look at you." With that, Daniel pushed Simon slowly onto his back and ran his hands over his friend. "No, I mean I want you to look at your body."

  Simon lifted his head and looked, following Daniel's hand as it brushed over his skin in a light, sensuous touch.

  "I think your body is beautiful," said Daniel, "you're fit as hell, easily as fit as me now, your cock's as big as mine already, so you've nothing to be ashamed of."

  Simon felt better in the warmth of Daniel's praise. "But anyway, it was starting to hurt a bit, the rubbing I mean," he said.

  Daniel thought for a moment. "I think that's because you're circumcised, so it rubs straight onto my skin."

  "Doesn't it for you?"

  "No. I think because I'm not circumcised that I can make it rub mostly inside, in my foreskin, so it doesn't hurt. The very opposite!" Daniel smiled.

  "I wish I wasn't circumcised," said Simon. "I hate it. I know you've got more feeling there than I have."

  "Doesn't stop you coming, though," said Daniel. "Don't worry so much. You're super."

  "How d'you mean?" said Simon, still wanting reassurance.

  "You're clever, funny."

  "Funny?"

  "Yeah, I don't mean silly funny. Clever funny, witty and that."

  "Telling jokes?"

  "Not just that. It's the way you see things. You come out with some really witty things at times, from nowhere. It makes me laugh, you know it does. You just seem to see things from a different angle to most other kids. Ones I know, anyway."

  "You're clever too."

  "I know. But your cleverness is one of the things I like about you. I can talk to you better than other kid I know, ones in my own year too. And I know you’re a real friend. Never let me down."

  "I would never do that, Daniel. You've never let me down. Ever. Just think about eleven plus, never mind scouts and everything."

  "I'm just a kid, you know, like you. A bit older, that's all. I love you being my friend, Simon. You make me feel good. It's sort of … where I get my strength from."

  "From me?" exclaimed an astonished Simon.

  "Don't sound so surprised. Of course from you. There's nobody else like you. So don't worry about not liking being on top. You're such
an emotional kid, more than any I know. But if it's not fun for both of us, what's the point? Be honest, d'you like it when I'm on top?"

  "Yes, you know I do. It feels right to me. I just feel … sort of … safe. And you know that when I know you're coming, it usually makes me too."

  "Good. I like that. And you are. Safe, I mean. We don't have to do it that way every time anyway."

  "But we can now, if you want," said Simon. Daniel's actions were his answer.

  Satisfied, lying together in the sunshine, Simon felt content. He knew that Daniel would never demand of him anything he didn't want to give, and in return he was happy to give Daniel all he wanted. He thought about what Daniel had said about how he made him feel good. His feeling of self worth returned. It was true what Daniel had said about his emotions. They were volatile and Simon sometimes could not control how he felt, especially where Daniel was concerned. But Daniel's confirmation of his value, his fitness, his friendship meant more than anything else because Daniel really knew him. There was no pretence, no false front, no attempt to impress, just Simon, his body and soul open to Daniel who knew and saw all, and yet still was his best friend. They lay together, testing each other from Daniel's Flags of the World book.

  Simon followed Daniel in another respect too. He was chosen to carry the flag at church parade. What surprised Simon was that Mum and Dad came as well. To see him carry the Union Flag. Simon was glad it was the Union Flag he was given because that was the one Daniel had carried. George Morrison, PL of Eagles, was carrying the Scout Flag. The two stood outside with the troop lined up behind them, flags in their holders, fluttering in the breeze. Simon felt Daniel's gaze behind him. He had to do this well. He had of course been to most of the church parades so he knew the routine, unchanged since that first time he had come along to watch Daniel.

  John Riley, the Troop Leader, gave the commands and they marched off, Simon concentrating hard on keeping in step, back erect, holding the flag high. It was heavy and the breeze kept wanting it to sway it to one side and then the other. When it was time to enter the church, he dipped the flag as it went through the porch, being careful it did not touch the stone flagged floor. He controlled his nervousness as he saw how full the church was. He noticed Mum and Dad, there to support him, but deliberately avoided eye contact. He must keep focused; Daniel had stressed how important that was. Holding their flags high, with George on his left, arms level, right elbows out at shoulder height as trained, they walked down the nave of the church toward the altar, the congregation watching the regular ritual. Suddenly with a loud crack, Simon's right elbow caught a wooden staff with a small cross on top slotted in on the end of a pew. It twanged back and forth noisily like a ruler flipped on a desk edge. Simon felt himself flush with embarrassment but kept his steady step alongside George and reached the altar rail. The flags were taken and laid by the altar and Simon and George went to their position in the front pew. The rest of the troop filed into their places. Luckily the post wasn't broken and was now still again, but Simon's elbow was sore.

  The service was now more familiar to Simon, and he followed it. From his front pew he was able to watch as the sacraments were prepared, and at the time of communion as the vicar took the bread and wine followed by the choir; then it was Simon's turn. As before, Simon knelt at the rail and kept his head bowed and hands by his side. He felt the priest's hand on his head.

  "The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace."

  Simon felt that same warm tingling suffuse his body as he had the first time and every time since. He felt at ease in some way he could not explain.

  "The body of Christ keep you in eternal life."

  Simon realised that George was taking Communion. He risked a sidelong glance, and saw him take the wafer, and then sip the wine. Simon waited until he had done that and then moved back to his seat, past the line of waiting scouts. Daniel gave him a quiet dig in the side as he passed.

  Back in his seat, Simon watched as Daniel knelt among the scouts at the rail and received the wafer – "The body of Christ keep you in eternal life " – and then sipping from the silver chalice - "The blood of Christ keep you in eternal life" – and remained kneeling while other scouts received either the sacraments or a blessing as Simon had. Since his confirmation, Simon had seen Daniel take communion at Church Parades before, and he wondered if he ever would. If Daniel was going to get eternal life, Simon wanted to be there too with him. He turned round to see Mum and Dad sitting further back. He caught their eye and smiled.

  At the end it was time to take the flag out again, Simon this time careful where his elbow was. He and George led the troop, under the orders of the Troop Leader, for the parade round the church, watched by many of the congregation. Many of course were family of the scouts, but many were not.

  The double column came to halt and turned to form two rows as usual. After dismiss, Simon and George took the flags to Skip's estate car. Simon was nervous about what might be said about the wooden staff. He decided to speak first.

  "Skip, I'm sorry about hitting that pole thing."

  "Made me jump out of my skin," commented George.

  "It's called a churchwarden's wand, Simon. You both did very well," said Skip. "And Simon, forget about hitting the wand. You did extremely well not to panic, you kept your head and simply carried on without missing a step. Excellent. Both of you did us proud today. Is your elbow all right, Simon?"

  "Yes, it's OK, Skip."

  "Good. Off you go then."

  Simon saw Mum and Dad waiting for him. He looked round for Daniel, and saw him with his parents.

  "Is your arm hurting, Simon?" asked Mum.

  "No, it's fine."

  "You hit that pole with an awful clatter," said Dad. "But you just carried on as though nothing had happened. Great presence of mind, Simon. Well done."

  Simon smiled at this praise from Dad.

  "What do you have to do now?" asked Mum. "Only I should go and get the lunch ready or it will be teatime by the time we get it."

  "No, we're finished now," said Simon. They walked from the churchyard, over the footbridge and up the hill. Daniel with his parents was several yards in front of them.

  "Daniel!" shouted Simon.

  Daniel stopped and waited, Simon ran ahead, and they walked up together, between the parents.

  "What happened with that post thingy? It made a hell of a racket," asked Daniel.

  "I just clipped it with my elbow, made it twang. It's called a wand."

  "I thought it was never going to stop. Didn't you see it?"

  "I suppose so, just didn't realise it was so close."

  Daniel punched Simon playfully and shook his head. "Simon, you're such an idiot. But you did really well not to drop the flag or something. Super Second."

  "Perfect PL," responded Simon, happy with this praise from his Patrol Leader and best friend.

  Through that Summer, the boys made a real effort to improve their fitness. They devised a programme of exercises; sit ups, lifting using various household objects, and Daniel's bedroom became a makeshift fitness room. His mother had to keep retrieving the 2lb bags of sugar from the bedroom. They went out running, the bike rides continued and of course Daniel's swimming club kept his body perfectly toned.

  But it wasn't just the physical that improved. Daniel had watched Simon get narrowly beaten in the 100 yards at school, and he knew why.

  "It's like swimming, Simon. You've not just got to be fast, you have to concentrate. He beat you because he got a better start."

  Simon nodded, the memory of the defeat still vexed him. "I went as soon as I heard the gun."

  "You didn't. I was watching. You went when the others went."

  "That's the same thing, isn't it?

  "No. If you wait to see them move there's a split second delay that puts you behind."

  "But I don't want to be disqualified." />
  "Thought so. Forget the others. Look, I was the same when I started racing at swimming. You're scared of going too soon so you wait too long. When I'm waiting for a race, I don't think about anything else. You have to really focus your mind on the gun, or when the swimmer touches if it’s a relay. Nothing else matters in the world. When I'm like that, the bomb could drop and it wouldn't make a difference."

  Simon knew what Daniel meant, he knew that ability of Daniel's for fierce concentration, not just at swimming galas, but in his piano playing, his work. Everything. Simon wished he had it. "Yes, you're good at that," he said.

  "So can you be. You've got to want to win so much you don't care about anything else at that time. I'm going to teach you to get a good start."

  In Daniel's garden, in the street, Simon did start after start, Daniel acting as starter, using two wooden blocks he had found to simulate the crack of the starting pistol. Simon learned to train his mind to exclude all else, his whole being concentrated on the starter's orders, and the loud crack that meant 'Go!'

  Daniel cheered at the next house races, when Simon made a perfect start and won the 100 yards by several yards, beating a boy from Daniel's house. Daniel got some comments about cheering a boy from another house, but he didn't care. He could see the change in Simon's start. He knew he had helped and felt proud of that. For Daniel, it was a success by proxy, and Simon's happiness made him happy too.

  1959/3 Nearly caught

  Simon decided to wait for the next bus. He was at the main road, waiting to meet Daniel back from his Saturday morning swimming club, and he had not arrived on the expected bus. It was a chilly March day, but Simon was wearing a warm coat with scarf and hat. He stomped up and down by the bus stop, stepping back when a bus arrived to indicate he did not want to get on, even though it was not a request stop. At last another bus that might be carrying Daniel arrived, and there was his friend, getting off the bus. But he didn't look especially pleased to see Simon.