With Regrets Adam

by Adam (lit)

  But he did. A shiver tingled up her spine, and her stomach quivered. For a moment, she gave in, and then realized Adam wasn’t loving her. He was punishing her. Punishing her for being his brother’s wife, for being Kara, for whom he had no love at all, more resentment than anything else.

  Her hands moved up his arms to his shoulders and shoved at him. She might as well have pushed at a rock wall.

  “Stop it,” he murmured against her lips. “Relax and enjoy.”

  He swung her up into his arms and moved quickly from the room and down the hall to the suite where she’d been held prisoner. She didn’t have any idea how long they’d been in the log house. Part of one night and a whole day. Only hours, and it seemed weeks long. Still, it was unthinkable that he’d rape her. It was absurd to think that she couldn’t defend herself, worse yet that she wasn’t sure she wanted to.

  Adam’s arms held her as though he treasured her, not in a vise that meant he intended to harm her. Her breath puffed out as he placed her on the bed and fell on top of her. Because he was off-balance, she rolled and almost succeeding in getting from under him.

  He was stronger, much stronger, and pulled her back, his mouth covering hers, teeth pressing into her lips. She tasted heat from him and moaned. Her mouth was released, and he stared down at her. They remained that way for what seemed ages, and then he lowered his head so they lay cheek to cheek.

  “Kara.” He turned his head so his mouth was against her throat and licked out.

  She shivered.

  Moments later, Adam braced himself on his elbows to look down at her. He couldn’t see her face well, shadowed as it was by only a dim hallway light. Her eyes were open and appeared black rather than the deep blue he knew them to be. There were deep circles beneath her eyes, evidence of exhaustion even before he’d brought her here.

  “What kind of duty did you have on your last tour?”

  She blinked. “What?”

  “You look tired. I haven’t begun to test your strength, so I’m not to blame for the circles under your eyes. Yet.”

  She thought it an odd question to be asked at this time. “I just came off a three-months tour of private duty nursing.”

  “You were the supervisor of our distribution center before you married Aaron. You must be well qualified for almost any kind of nursing duty.”

  “Adam.” She had been holding onto his arms but now, she placed her palms against his cheeks. “Adam, I am not Aaron’s wife. Repeat that a hundred times until you believe.”

  He chuckled. “Nice try, Kara.” He kissed her cheek, rolled off her and stood looking down at her. “Get ready for bed. I’ll be back as soon as I shower and shave.” He strode from the room and didn’t close the door.

  Lyn remained where she was a moment longer, turned on the bedside light, and then went to look for sleepwear of some kind.

  She was back in bed as close to the far edge as she could get without rolling off. The shower was turned off, and a few moments later, Adam came back into the room. One towel was wrapped around his hips, and he used another to rub through his hair as he watched her.

  “If you move an inch, you’ll be in the floor.” He smiled as he moved closer to the bed. He eyed the high-necked flannel gown. “I’m surprised Aaron allowed you to wear a gown that covers so much of you.”

  “Aaron has never seen me in a gown of any kind, other than the one I wore to his wedding to Kara.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t like you all covered up.”

  “It’s too cold to sleep in a shorty gown.”

  “I was thinking of less than that.” He dropped the towel.

  Lyn caught her breath. Adam in a dignified business suit was something to look at. Absolutely nude, he was awesome. Wide shoulders tapered to a slim waist, narrow hips, and strong thighs. He turned the covers back, glanced once at her, and slid into bed. He reached to turn out the light. A moment later, he rolled over and pulled her close to him. Without a word, he tugged her, hip first, against him so that they lay spoon-fashioned, her hips aligned with his thighs. He nuzzled her neck.

  “Hmmm.mm. You smell nice.”

  She didn’t move, didn’t speak. Her breath came in shallow puffs, and she wasn’t sure if it was fright – or something else. Not knowing what he intended to do was a lot of her problem.

  One arm lay beneath her shoulder, and he caught her left hand in his. She stiffened when his hand slid over her waist and fingers spread under her breast. His breath caught, and his hand tightened over her fingers. He murmured something she didn’t understand, and he nibbled at her ear, running his teeth along the rim.

  It was impossible not to tremble, and she heard his grunt of satisfaction. He knew exactly what he was doing to her. And he kept at it. His hand drifted from her waist over her stomach, fingers circling in a tantalizing rhythm. Abruptly, he slid his arm across her and aligned their bodies, fitting her to his erection.

  She turned so that her mouth rested on the flesh of his upper arm. It was tempting to bite, to nibble, to lick at his skin.

  “Go to sleep.” His rough voice startled her from her fantasies.

  “What?” She closed her hand over his where it rested on her stomach.

  “Go to sleep. Now. Either that or we finish what we’ve started.”

  It was difficult not to shiver, not to move backward into his fierce arousal. But she’d better not tempt him, because it was her only chance to escape making love to her sister’s brother-in-law.

  “Must we sleep like this?”

  “Yes. Just like this.”

  She was certain she’d never go to sleep. It would be hours before she would be able to let go of the feelings he’d awakened. He was giving her a chance, a chance she didn’t think she’d have at all.

  Her thoughts scattered when his warm breath touched her cheek and he sighed. She smiled at the thought that Adam was as miserable as she was. Moments later, she slept.

  Adam didn’t. He was harder than the stones on Mt. Rushmore, so thoroughly aroused he couldn’t think, much less sleep. What the hell is wrong with me that I lie here and don’t take her? Why am I torturing myself when I could just as easily torture her?

  Aaron. It all had to do with Aaron.

  Lyn sighed in her sleep, and he drew her closer. Unable to resist, he skimmed his hand up and cupped her breast. If possible, he hardened more, like freshly poured cement on a blistering hot day. To keep from crying out, whether in frustration or ecstasy, he closed his mouth onto her shoulder. So shaky he thought the bed would move from his vibrations, he thought of Aaron to keep from thinking of the woman in his arms.

  Where is he?

  What has happened to drive him from the work he always enjoyed? From contact with Adam when they didn’t miss many days either on e-mail or telephone? From Kara, the woman he loved in spite of her infidelities, her extremely careless way of life, her selfishness – how could he still love her?

  The woman in his arms was responsible. Anger replaced desire, and he was tempted to drag her up and shake the daylights out of her. Here he was, a hard on for his brother’s wife, holding her in his arms, close enough he could take her any moment he chose. He wanted to screw her brains out. If she had any. Sometimes, he had his doubts even though he knew Kara was intelligent. She couldn’t supervise a hundred nurses and not have basic ability. Just no common sense, then.

  There’s some character makeup in Kara’s personality that has Aaron infatuated. The Kara I’m holding is beautiful, warm and curious about what is happening. Not whiny or complaining, mostly indignant. But she must be frightened, at least a little bit.

  His thoughts came to a screeching halt. He’d only met Kara once. She was beautiful. Yes, but somehow, the other adjectives didn’t fit. In the short time he’d been around her that one time, he’d heard complaints about the servants, the isolation of his home, the lack of entertainment. If Aaron hadn’t kowtowed to her wants immediately, she whined or cried big fake tears. She didn’t care about the
people around her and he wouldn’t describe her as a warm person.

  So what had changed her? The Kara in his arms fought like a tiger when she thought she could get away with it. Her attention didn’t center so much on herself as curious about the situation she found herself in. She lay in his arms now, asleep, trusting him to keep his distance.

  To hell with that. His arms tightened around her.

  He slid one leg across her and settled her against his erection. Smothering a groan, he caressed her flat stomach, his hands wandering down to the firm thighs and up over her hip, touching her ribs and her breast. Beneath the gown, he stroked the nipple, felt it tighten.

  Lyn stirred and tried to turn over. She was aligned along a hard body with a strong arousal at her back.

  “Adam, please.”

  “Please what, Kara?” He rolled her over until she was facing him. “Tell me what pleases you most? How do you want me?”

  “No. No.” Her hands came up but he caught them and put them around his neck.

  “Yes. And now.” His mouth bruised hers as he kissed hard, his tongue thrusting between her protesting lips.

  Fighting him all the way, Lyn still felt a sweetness, a wondering curiosity at what it would be like to not fight, to accept his questioning kisses, hold onto the arms that surrounded her, the hands that touched, stroked, titillated, and demanded her response.

  He rolled over, taking her beneath him, one hand reaching to open the neck of her gown. Fumbling, he swore, and then yanked downward, ripping the gown low enough to expose her breast. His head lowered and he fastened his mouth over the strutted nipple.

  She gasped, stammered a protest, and moaned softly.

  He moved to the other breast and suckled strongly. Lyn cried out.

  Triumphant, Adam moved down her body, kissed his way over her flat belly. He held both her hands in one of his, and her struggles were ineffective. The roughness ceased, and he became gentle, murmuring soft phrases she couldn’t really hear, and didn’t understand.

  “Please. Please.”

  “I will,” he said. “I will please you.” He kissed her hard and raised his head to look down at her. “Are you protected?”

  She hissed at him. “I don’t use birth control. And if you have any sense at all, you’ll use something since you believe I’m indiscreet in my sexual adventures.”

  “Ah, yes, I should.” He smiled. “As a matter of fact, I can and will take care of it. Relax.”

  “Relax? When I’m being held hostage? Forced to have sex with my brother-in-law’s brother? Oh, sure.”

  “I’m not forcing you, Kara. You seem to have accepted the fact that I’m going to be your lover for a few days. At least, until we hear from Aaron.”

  Her breath came out a sob. He wasn’t going to listen to anything she said. Lying beneath him on the wide bed, Lyn realized she’d run out of options.

  “You’ll be sorry, Adam.” She turned her head away and closed her eyes.

  If she thought that would stop him, she was wrong. He held both her hands above her head, reached down and guided himself into her. She was tight; it had been a long time since she’d had sexual relations. He was breathing hard and fast.

  “Kara.” He released her hands and turned her chin so she had to look at him. Her eyes remained closed. “Look at me, dammit, when I go inside you. I want you to know it’s not Aaron who’s screwing you, and you will know it.”

  He pushed into her warm center, kept pressing until he could feel her flesh give.

  “Open your eyes and look at me.”

  “Go to hell.”

  “Heaven first,” he said. With a smooth thrust, he entered her. It wasn’t easy. She was small and tight and dry. The tussle with her had brought him to the edge of orgasm, and he struggled to hold back. If he was going to hell for this, he wanted to enjoy it. He watched her, saw her teeth sink into her lips.

  And he regretted what he was about to do. Too late, he saw the pain in her eyes, the hurt from something other than his actions, a vulnerable woman in a hard-to-imagine situation.

  He couldn’t stop, but he slowed his movements, pacing his strokes so he wouldn’t hurt her. Lowering his face to hers, he kissed her, using his tongue to open her mouth to keep her from biting into her lips. He brushed back and forth in rhythm with his body. Exquisite shivers coursed through him as he neared his climax. He forgot she didn’t want him inside her, forgot she hated being in his arms, accepting the strong thrusts into her body. With a deep groan, he thrust deeply and poured himself into her. He lay on her, waiting for her to speak. She didn’t.

  “Do you want me to help you?” He was aware that she hadn’t reached an orgasm.

  “No.” It was a harsh whisper as if she were holding back tears.

  Yes, of course, she would cry. It was supposed to make him feel bad about what he’d done. He wasn’t about to do what he knew Aaron would: Apologize and pet her and promise her the moon if she wouldn’t cry. That was Aaron, not Adam.

  He withdrew from her and sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at her. She had turned her head away, and her eyes were closed.

  “Kara.” He waited, but she didn’t move, didn’t speak. “Kara, I’m sorry I had to do that, but you leave me no choice. Tell me where you left Aaron, why you two are apart, what happened to him, and you can leave tomorrow morning.”

  “Would you get me a gown from the dresser? I’m cold.”

  He looked at her nude body, aware for the first time that he hadn’t taken a good look at her after he’d removed her clothing. Torn it off her.

  Damn. How rough had he been?

  She was slender with small breasts that looked firm. He had wanted to kiss them, to nuzzle, but had known she’d never hold still for him to really make love to her. It hadn’t been lovemaking; it had been a crude taking of what he wanted.

  A long flannel gown was in the first drawer he opened, and he took it back to the bed. “Do you need help to get it on?”

  “Just leave me alone.”

  “You forget. You’re in my bed. I’ll leave you to bathe or dress or do whatever you need to do, but I sleep in here.”

  She didn’t argue, nor did she look at him as she got up and walked away into the bathroom. He was still standing by the bed when the shower was turned on.

  Hell. He shoved his hands through his hair. What the hell have I done?

  As teenagers, he and Aaron had exchanged girlfriends, and had often indulged in friendly sex with each other’s dates. That was years ago, and those girls weren’t married to Aaron.

  Kara’s married to Aaron. I’ve had sex with my brother’s wife. He scowled at his hands turning the brandy glass in his hand. She doesn’t feel like she belongs to anyone. Anyone but me.

  Wishful thinking? His thoughts jerked him back to the present. He tilted the glass and downed the brandy. He wished the woman was Lyn, not Kara. But her identification didn’t lie.

  Chapter Eight

  She wouldn’t cry. Be damned if she’d cry because she’d been forced to let Adam into her body. It wasn’t actually rape, but the next thing to it. She hadn’t fought too much because she knew it wouldn’t help. He was determined to show her he could make her tell him where Aaron was. She would have if she could, but she had no idea what direction the couple had gone in once they left her. It hadn’t interested her because she figured it would be another two or three years before she heard from Kara again. If ever. That one visit had been a surprise, and the next one would be, too, she was certain.

  Uneasiness wormed its way into her thoughts. Where were Aaron and Kara? If Aaron never went this long without contacting his brother, what was his excuse this time? Perhaps Kara demanded he break away from Adam. Maybe she was as selfish as she’d always been and didn’t want to share her husband’s attention.

  Kara had always been self-centered. Any and everyone should pay her the most attention no matter what the situation or who it might hurt. Evidently, she hadn’t changed.

  L
yn studied her wan face in the bathroom mirror. There were dark circles under her eyes. Short hair was tumbled around her face, giving her the look of a sulking child. She didn’t want to sulk. She wanted to shout out her frustrations, her lack of steps to take to free herself. And, if she were honest, she would admit that Adam’s use of her body had awakened strange responses in her. Under different circumstances…. Well, there weren’t any different circumstances, and she was stuck with whatever Adam chose to do.

  The water was hot with plenty of pressure. She scrubbed herself as though she had layers of mud on her. All she wanted was to get Adam’s scent off. Wrapped in the huge bath towel, she walked back into the bedroom.

  Adam lay stretched underneath the sheet, arms pillowed beneath his head. He watched her walk into the room and hesitate. He sat up, took the gown she’d left on the bed, and handed it to her. She took two steps, grabbed the gown and went back into the bathroom to dress. When she came back, he had turned on his side and was watching the doorway.

  “Feel better?”

  “Yes.” She went to the opposite side of the bed and slid under the sheet, staying as far on her side of the bed as she could without falling off.

  He turned. “I want you in my arms.”

  “You’ve got what you wanted, now leave me alone.”

  “What I did was whet my appetite. One bout of sex with you, Kara, is not enough.”

  She didn’t move but stared at the ceiling.

  He reached to turn her face to him. “You’re beautiful.You’re dangerous. You’re selfish, a liar and a cheat.”

  Her lips turned upward in a tiny smile. “You left out phony, promiscuous, deceitful and cunning.”

  “All of the above.” He ran his thumb over her lower lip. “Why?”

  “You don’t know me, Adam, so you can’t possibly know my personality traits.”

  “Right now, I’m not interested in your personality.” He moved closer and pulled her to him. He was completely and strongly aroused.

  “Isn’t there anything I can say or do to change your mind about me? I am not Kara, have no idea where they are, and I want you to take me home.”