With Regrets Adam

by Adam (lit)

  “Lyn?”

  “Do you have a key?”

  “It’s in the side pocket of your handbag. Adam put it there the day he took it.”

  She reached into the small pocket and found the key. Her fingers closed around it. She pulled it out, looked at it, and closed her hand over it once more.

  “Thank you for bringing me home, Garth. You don’t have to get out. I can manage.”

  “I’ll walk through to see if everything is all right.”

  “You don’t have ….”

  “Lyn, Adam wouldn’t like my leaving you at the door without checking inside. I don’t want him crawling my butt because I didn’t make sure you were safe before I left.”

  Yes, of course. Adam would want her safe. Wouldn’t want anything to happen that might cause Lyn to sue his ass. If she thought she could win a lawsuit against Mabry Enterprises, she’d be tempted. Knowing Adam, knowing the Mabry money, she wouldn’t have a chance. And she was too tired, too shop-worn, too heartsick to even think about it.

  Garth took the suitcase and started toward the door. “Get the roses.”

  “Take them to Hana. I don’t want them.”

  He had stopped, and she walked past him onto the porch. The key fit easily into the lock, she turned it, the door opened, and drifted back so that she was looking down the hallway. She stepped inside and looked around.

  Everything appeared to be as she’d left it. Garth came in, stood for a moment, and then walked into her living room. He placed the suitcase by the end of the long couch.

  “I’ll do a walk through. It won’t take me long.” He didn’t wait for an answer, but strode down the hallway to her bedroom, to the adjoining bath, back down the hall to the kitchen. He disappeared from sight, but she didn’t move. A few minutes later, he was back.

  “Everything looks good. No break-ins. There isn’t any spoiled food in the refrigerator. Are you sure you don’t want to shop for groceries now?”

  “No. I’ll wait.”

  “I’ll see if your car will start.” He held out his hands. “The keys are in the handbag, too.”

  She found them and handed them to him. “My parking space is ....”

  “I know which one it is.”

  She was in the same spot when he came back.

  “It started with no problem.” He passed her the keys and stood looking down at her.

  “Adam squared things with the hospital and your supervisor and co-workers. The explanation was that your sister was seriously ill, and you were called away unexpectedly.” He hesitated, swallowed. “She, she died, and you have until after New Year’s to deal with her funeral and estate.”

  Funeral. A scream ran silently through her. She opened her mouth but couldn’t get any words to come out. Estate. Kara’s estate would be Aaron’s and Aaron’s estate would go to Adam. Lyn wouldn’t have to do anything. For that, at least, she could be thankful.

  “Adam seems to have thought of everything,” she said. “Thank him for me.” She didn’t try to disguise her bitterness or anger.

  “If there’s anything I can do, you’ll let me know.”

  She looked at him then. Garth hadn’t done anything he wasn’t told to do. He had a boss just like she did, and they were expected to please said boss. He had talked to her when no one else would.

  “I’ll be fine, Garth. Please don’t worry about me. Forget you ever knew me, and I’ll try to do the same.” She moved aside so he could leave.

  His steps were slow and, even as he stepped onto the small porch, he hesitated and turned. When she merely looked at him, he shook his head, lifted his hand in a half wave, and ran to the car. She watched him drive away, closed the door, and locked it.

  Leaning against the door, she surveyed her tiny kingdom. It was home. A thin film of dust covered tables and chairs. Dust motes drifted in the ray of sunshine that slanted across the room. The television sat in the corner, undisturbed. The colorful afghan she’d crocheted while sitting with Mr. Kilgore lay across the back of the couch. Bright aqua, yellow and royal blue pillows were scattered over the pale green burlap cushions.

  Everything looked the same. Everything looked different.

  Where she had been the past weeks, things that had happened, people she’d lived with, all of it paraded through her mind. Pain from somewhere she couldn’t define settled in her body and made her weak. Gradually, the pictures and the pain faded.

  She blinked.

  Slowly, she slid down the door until she rested on the floor, knees drawn up to her chest, and her arms locked around them. She shivered, put her head on her knees, and cried.

  Chapter Nineteen

  One Year Later

  Her final walk through of the apartment finished, Lyn leaned against one of the remaining stools by the breakfast bar. Her mood was one of musing memories of her seven years at this address. Those hard studies to complete her nurse’s training. All night cramming for finals. Pizza parties with Trish and Susie and other co-workers at the hospital. The apartment was located in a nice area of Albuquerque, but she’d outgrown it. She shouldn’t be thinking about the years here but looking ahead to, finally, living in an honest-to-goodness, real house.

  She was. She was just tired and being sentimental.

  And, then, there was Adam. Trying to forget him didn’t work. He was always there on the shadowy edge of her thoughts. A few months after she returned to Albuquerque, she had gotten a letter from him. It was formal, almost cold, asking how she was and if there was anything he could do for her. She had read the letter several times, swallowed over the lump in her throat, and thrown it away. Another letter a few weeks later she hadn’t bothered to open. The first telephone call had been on her answering machine. She listened to him ask her to call, and then deleted it. After a few more calls, she had heard nothing from him.

  It was a good bet that now he never thought of her, but her daily life brought him to mind constantly. It was his loss that he neither knew nor cared where she was and what she was doing.

  * * * *

  Sounds of furniture being moved, words shouted in Spanish, a laugh, and some creative swearing came through to her.

  She chuckled. Moving day was rough on everyone, from the movers to the movee – if there was such a word. At least, getting to the job didn’t have to be a problem because she was off until after New Year’s. Just off a grueling four month private duty case, she’d told her supervisor she was down-to-the-bone exhausted, moving into a new house, and she had to have some extra days. Fortunately, Louise Spivey was sympathetic.

  Lyn heard all the commotion around her in a peripheral way. Her mind was busily setting the new house up the way she wanted it to be. She’d made sure the movers understood which room here was to be loaded on the van last, so it would be unloaded first at the new place. That room was her most important, and she intended it to be perfect.

  It was about lunch time with cold, tiny flakes of snow spitting once in a while. The weather forecast said no accumulation, but Lyn wasn’t all that sure they were right. The low gray clouds looked pretty serious to her, like they might take it upon themselves to dispute the meteorologists. Her movers were probably hungry. Two of them were of Mexican origin and spoke limited English. The one she concluded was the boss was a tall, wide-shouldered man who could pass as a cowboy used to long days on the range in a hot sun or cold wind. He spoke Spanish as easily as he did English and switched from one to the other without hesitation.

  A glance at her nurse’s special watch showed eleven thirty-five. Time for a lunch break. Most of the furniture was loaded, so they could eat, get back to work and be ready to head for the new place by two o’clock at the latest.

  She followed the sound of voices coming from the living room. One look, and she almost burst out laughing. The one called Ramon had the corner of that godawful heavy couch in one hand and was hung up in one of the drapes that had fallen over his head. He was fighting to free himself while his partner doubled over with laughter.


  “All right, Ricco, stop your bellowing and rescue Miss Sands' drapes.” Drake, the boss, spoke in Spanish. He was trying not to laugh and not succeeding very well.

  “Drake.”

  The man turned. “Miss Sands. We’re getting close to the last of the living room furniture. The front bedroom goes next, right?”

  “That’s right.” Her eyes sparkled with laughter as she watched Ramon and Ricco struggle with couch and draperies.

  Drake laughed. “Sometimes, we run into furniture that fights back.”

  “I see.” She cleared her throat. “It’s about lunch time. How about I pick up some sub sandwiches and we take a break to eat? I’m starved.”

  “Sounds good to me. You don’t mind going after them?”

  “You’re working, and I’m trying to stay out of your way. Get me their orders, including drinks, and I’ll call them in. They’ll be nearly ready by the time I get to the shop.”

  Drake stepped closer to the other two and engaged in a rapid exchange. He came back with a penciled list and gave it to her. He took out his billfold, but she shook her head.

  “My treat.”

  “Thanks. Lots of jalapenos, too,” he said.

  “But of course.” The only phone left in the house was in the kitchen. She made a detour, found the Subway number, and called in their order.

  She grabbed her jacket, her handbag from the counter and started down the hallway. The front door opened just as she reached it.

  And came face to face with Adam.

  Stunned, she couldn’t speak. The world spun crazily, and she tried to get her balance. She blinked several times, but he was still there when she opened her eyes.

  How many times had she imagined seeing him again? How many dreams about him had faded into memory? She had often pictured what he would look like after a year, wondered what she would say to him, what he would say to her. Reality was the fact that she would never see him again, and she had learned to live with that certainty.

  And here he was, right in front of her. In person.

  Everything faded except Adam.

  What the hell is he doing here? He looked the same. Neatly dressed in a dark suit beneath a black all-weather coat with a fur collar. Heartbreakingly handsome, damn him.

  Eyes wide, she continued to stare at him. He did the same to her. Finally, he was the one who spoke.

  “Lyn.”

  She huffed out her breath and then drew it in deeply.

  “Adam.”

  “How are you, Lyn?”

  “I’m fine.” Her eyes narrowed. “If you’ve come to kidnap me again, I have three able-bodied men inside who might try to deter you.”

  He smiled, but it didn’t reach the gray eyes. They weren’t as cold as the last time she’d seen them, but that could change in an instant, she knew well.

  “No. I just wanted to see you, talk to you, find out how you’ve been.”

  “After a year, you want to know how I’ve been?”

  He winced. “I was giving you time to work on forgiving me.”

  “You wasted that time.”

  “Meaning you haven’t forgiven me?”

  “Not in this lifetime, Adam.” She turned to see Drake in the hallway watching them.

  “Are you all right, Miss Sands?”

  “Yes, Drake.” She wasn’t sure she was all right, but she was too numb to think of anything else in answer to his question. “I’m on my way.” She turned to Adam. “It’s lunchtime and my workers are hungry. You’ll have to excuse me.” How could she speak normally to this man who had barged into her life and changed it forever? Why didn’t she punch him in the jaw, really put power behind it, and hopefully, knock him unconscious?

  She pressed trembling lips together.

  “Where are you going?”

  “The nearest sandwich shop, which is about a mile from here.”

  “I’ll go with you.”

  “You’re not invited. If you want to talk to me, wait until I get lunch for these men.”

  “May I wait here for you?”

  Oh, how polite we are, she thought furiously. For about two cents, I’d hit that pretty face with this handbag, mess you up a little.

  “Why don’t you come back when I can spare some time? Like next Easter?”

  He all but smiled. “I prefer to wait for you.”

  Adam would always do as he damned well pleased. She shrugged. “Suit yourself. Not many places to sit. There are stools in the kitchen. Would you like a sandwich?”

  “Sure. You choose what kind.” He reached for his billfold.

  Her temper elevated. “Don’t. I think I can afford to buy you a sandwich since you furnished room and board for me several weeks.” She pushed past him and ran to her car. Snow was coming down heavier now. She sat beneath the wheel, trembling. Her mind wanted to blank, but it was too busy remembering. Once she had had amnesia, Sometimes, she wished she still did.

  Adam. How many times she’d wished she could see him. How many times she’d wanted to call, but she didn’t. She had ignored his attempts to communicate with her, his many phone calls. But there were times she wished she could talk to him. She could call Mabry Enterprises in Fort Worth and say, “May I speak with Adam Mabry? This is his kidnap victim, and I’d like to speak to him.”

  “You’re who?”

  She could imagine the curiosity and raised eyebrows and disbelief from his vast company of workers.

  Wonder if he hired anyone to replace Aaron? A brother couldn’t be replaced, but he must have someone to share that monstrous workload. Grief struck hard at her again as it did periodically when she thought of the loss he had suffered. And even if she and Kara hadn’t been close, Kara’s death saddened her. It had been a hard year for her, and she imagined not an easy one for Adam.

  That didn’t mean she was ready for him to appear without warning. She should have had some inkling that he was close by. There should have been a red alert, a warning sign that she was about to meet trouble again. There was nothing, no warning, no flashing intuition, nothing to tell her to beware.

  Why the hell has he shown up now? What does he want? Checking to see if I’m all right. Huh. About a year too late. She ground her teeth. Adam was going to complicate her life once more. Glad Trish isn’t coming to the house until around six.

  The Sub shop was crowded, but the line was moving fast. She added a steak sub for Adam to her order, took the number handed to her, and wandered over to sit at one of the small tables.

  Adam is here. She closed her eyes and tried to ignore the fact that he was right there, in her apartment, waiting for her to return. Brash enough to join them for lunch. She gritted her teeth. Hadn’t she suffered enough humiliation, loneliness and heartache caused by Adam Mabry? Why didn’t he have the decency to leave her alone?

  You can ask him when you hand him his sandwich, a sandwich you paid for, Lyn.

  Get lost, she ordered the mocking voice echoing in her head.

  The Formica table where she sat sparkled enough that she could see faint reflections. Her gaze blurred and unwelcome pictures came through. Nightmares had plagued her for weeks after she returned home, visions of the sports car turning end over end, Kara ejected from it. Grief consumed her, but she had no outlet, no one to sympathize, only Adam’s blistering condemnation. He had sent a formal note that there would be a memorial service in Dallas if she cared to attend. Not an invitation, just an “if you care to.” She cared. She just couldn’t bring herself to go through the trauma of seeing Adam and a double funeral at the same time.

  Even if she had been able to go, she didn’t see any reason to face Adam and the members of his companies. She hadn’t known Kara during her lifetime, and she wouldn’t learn about her in death. Besides, she had other things to occupy her at that time.

  Her number was called, and she went forward to get the sandwiches and drinks, paid for them and headed out into the snow. The roads weren’t slippery yet, but if this kept up, they would
be, especially by nightfall when temperatures dropped. They’d have all of her furniture moved and set up in the new place by then.

  And she’d be dead on her feet with lots of work still to do.

  You’re young, you’re strong, and most of all, you don’t have a choice. Right. She grunted and gave a sigh of relief when she pulled into the driveway right alongside the moving van. Adam’s slinky sedan sat at the curb. She ignored the little lift to her heart as she went into the house.

  “Lunch time.” She stuck her head in the living room, saw only Adam.

  “They’re at the back bedroom getting ready to start on that,” he said.

  “You’d better eat in the kitchen. Use the counter so you don’t spill sauce all down that pretty suit.” She gave him a sandwich and a tall cup of water. Adam didn’t drink Colas. Without waiting for a comment, she went down the hall.

  “Here you go, Drake. Just sit anywhere and eat.”

  “We’ll go to the truck. It’s warm in there and if we mess it up, the company can pay for cleaning it.”

  She laughed. “There is that. Take your time. You’ve done a lot of work this morning.”

  “See you in a bit.” He whistled and Ramon and Ricco joined him. They disappeared out the front door.

  She found Adam seated at the counter with his sandwich resting on plastic wrap. She almost laughed. Imagine rich and upper crust Adam Mabry eating a subway sandwich off a paper napkin. Miracles would never cease.

  Yes, they would. And had. The thought sobered her.

  Adam stood when she came into the kitchen. She went around the end of the counter and pulled the other stool up so that she faced him. Without speaking, she opened her sandwich and took a bite.

  “Lyn.”

  She sipped her water and looked at him.

  “I.” He glanced down at his sandwich, moved it on the napkin, and looked back at her. He cleared his throat. “Where are you moving?”