by Anna Sugden
He dug one from his pocket. “Here.”
She cautiously lifted it from his palm, almost as if she was trying not to touch him. “Thanks. I’ll replace it as soon as possible.”
“No need.”
“Of course there is,” she told him. “If you’re like me, you keep the SD card as backup, even after copying everything onto the computer.”
“I meant that I have plenty.”
“I’ll still replace it.”
Naturally. Kayla Anderson wouldn’t take anything from him. She wasn’t even interested in child support, however determined he was to provide it.
Kayla put the new card into her camera and tucked the full one into a pocket on her shoulder pack. “We’d better catch up with the kids.”
She walked by him and Jackson automatically checked the swing of her hips. The degree to which a woman was attracted to a man could often be gauged by her hip action, but Kayla moved with a feminine grace that told him nothing.
And it didn’t matter anyway.
A brief affair would be impractical under the circumstances, and anything else was out of the question. From what she’d said, Kayla probably felt the same.
He caught up with her on the trail. “I’ve been meaning to ask, how long have you been divorced?”
The question seemed to surprise Kayla. “Er...six and a half years.”
It was longer than he’d expected. “Do you think kids ever adjust to their mother and father splitting up?”
“Who knows? Surely it’s better than living with parents who are miserable because they stayed together.”
“Was your marriage that bad?”
Kayla regarded him for a long moment and he half expected a reminder that her private life was private.
“I thought we were happy, but Curtis is a perpetual adolescent,” she said finally. “He isn’t a bad person, he just loves falling in love...again and again. As far as I know it started with me, but now he’s on his third marriage since we broke up, and I don’t remember how many romances there were between each of them. Every time it falls apart—and each one falls apart faster than the last—he tells me he can’t understand why.”
Her comments were revealing. For one, why was she friendly enough with her ex to talk about his love life? Jackson could understand needing to discuss things such as custody issues...
His gut clenched. It was hard to think about another man sharing custody of Alex.
Kayla had said he still wanted to blame her for the years he’d missed with his son, but it was time to genuinely accept that it wasn’t her fault. And she’d accomplished so much. Those accomplishments were even more extraordinary with the added challenges of having been a single, teen mother. Hell, she’d even started her own company.
There was also her work ethic to respect. Every morning she connected with her manager. Once they’d sent a tricky billing question to her and she’d stayed in camp to resolve the issue while everyone else left for a hike.
Kayla Anderson was someone he might eventually be able to regard as a friend. In the meantime, he needed to ignore the pain in his groin whenever he looked at her.
* * *
KAYLA’S FINGERS TINGLED where they’d brushed Jackson’s palm. It was so annoying. She didn’t even like him, so why did he get her blood moving more than any of the men she’d dated over the past few months?
Surely it was just an echo from her teenage hormones. She’d grown up with teachers’ pity, social workers’ critique and the contempt of students from better circumstances, so when Jackson had asked her out, she’d felt like Cinderella. It had been a wonderful dream until it turned into reality—no guy, morning sickness and a mother who was perched on a bar stool every night. Half the time Carolyn hadn’t even remembered her daughter was pregnant.
Kayla hurried forward to take more pictures of the kids and the landscape, determined not to give in to memories or hormones.
It had been a good day so far. Because it was DeeDee’s birthday, she’d gotten to choose the breakfast menu and what they’d do. Grams had stayed in camp to bake the cake, wanting that part to be a surprise, and Granddad had remained behind, as well.
“Yo, check that out,” Morgan cried, pointing up a tree.
Kayla looked and nearly dropped her camera. It was an eagle. Carefully she took several photos before focusing on the children, wanting to catch the wonder on their faces.
“What is it?” Jackson murmured, coming up beside her.
Silently she pointed at the large bird and Jackson shifted into photography mode, as well.
There was a piercing cry from the eagle and Kayla turned the camera back to where he was imperiously exhibiting his wingspan. He took off and they heard the whoosh of his powerful wings beating the air.
“That was amazing,” she breathed.
Jackson’s camera clicked again and she realized he was taking a picture of her. She decided to ignore it.
“Did you see it, Mommy?” DeeDee squealed, bounding in their direction. “It was an eagle. A real eagle. I never saw one before except in a zoo. It’s a birthday present from Yellowstone.”
“I saw it.”
“Dad, can we go to the gift shop later?” Morgan asked. “I want to see if they have any books on birds.”
“Sure,” Jackson said. “I’m an easy sell if you want books and not more souvenir kitsch.”
“Great. Kayla, DeeDee said she wanted to go the store, too, or I wouldn’t have asked.” Morgan ran back to where Alex was now studying a rock formation.
“You and Morgan seem to have hit it off,” Jackson said after a minute.
“It’s nice to have company when I’m running.”
Coolly, Kayla started toward the three kids, proud she was keeping an unruffled surface. She and Morgan were getting to know each other. The girl appeared hungry for something, but Kayla hadn’t figured out what. To her surprise, she enjoyed the teenager’s company. While Morgan was angry and confused part of the time, she was also clearly struggling with what it meant to become a woman, and that was something Kayla understood all too well.
Poor kid. Hormones could be a bitch.
CHAPTER NINE
JACKSON LENGTHENED HIS stride to reach Alex as he was walking ahead on the trail. DeeDee and Morgan had lagged behind with Kayla to study a clump of wildflowers. DeeDee had made up another word to describe them—pholothimbody, or something of the sort. Alex seemed oblivious to their absence, though he’d slowed and was looking down at his hands.
“Hold up,” Jackson told him. “No going out alone, remember?” He and Kayla had made it a safety rule. Ironically, he wouldn’t have complied himself as a teenager, but he would never admit that to his son or daughter.
Alex glanced back at his mother and sisters. They weren’t more than a hundred feet away.
“I’m not going out alone,” he muttered. “I was texting a friend.”
“Okay, just... That’s all right. Yellowstone is an amazing place, isn’t it?” Jackson thought it was a stupidly obvious thing to say, but he didn’t know what to talk about with Alex.
“Yeah.”
“Say, your face is getting a little red. I’ve got an extra hat, or we can get one for you at the store.”
“No, thanks.” Alex looked back down the trail again. “I’m going to see what everyone is doing.”
Damn.
Jackson also reversed direction and strode back to the rest of the group behind his son. Okay, so there were a few hitches along the road—that was no reason to sit on his ass about it.
* * *
KAYLA DIDN’T MIND waiting while the three kids pored over the books at the souvenir shop, and she said yes to the ones DeeDee and Alex wanted. As far as she was concerned, books were wholesome luxuries. But when she pulled out her credit card, the woman at the cash register smiled and explained “the gentleman” had already arranged for payment.
Swinging around, Kayla glared at Jackson. “I can pay for any books my kids want.�
�
“So can I,” he answered blandly.
Suddenly she saw Alex was nearby, so she swallowed her irritation. “That’s very nice of you,” she said evenly. But when her son was out of earshot, she muttered, “You may think paying for things is the manly thing to do, but one-upmanship doesn’t help your case.”
Jackson had the grace to look apologetic.
DeeDee came running over, pulling Morgan along with her. “Can we get ice cream for Grandpa?” she asked. “He loves ice cream.”
“So do you,” Kayla countered.
Her daughter grinned. “Uh-huh. Grandpa says I take after him.”
A shadow crossed Morgan’s face so quickly Kayla wondered if it had been her imagination.
“I’m sure everyone would enjoy it,” Kayla said.
They went to the little grocery store, chose three flavors and took the cartons out to the SUV.
“Would you like to drive?” Jackson asked, holding out the key to the Suburban.
It was an odd way of apologizing for trying to take control in the store. Or at least Kayla thought it was an apology, so she nodded and took the key ring.
* * *
ALEX OPENED HIS eyes wide as his mom got into the driver’s seat. He hadn’t expected to see her driving the SUV. Morgan seemed surprised, too, so it probably wasn’t the way Jackson usually did things.
Five minutes later they were back at camp.
DeeDee jumped out of the car. “Grandpa, we got ice cream.” Almost immediately she saw the picnic table and shrieked, “A cake!”
It was a chocolate cake decorated with “Happy Birthday DeeDee.”
“If we’re going to have ice cream with that cake,” Grandma said, “we either eat it now or try fitting it into the RV freezer. But I don’t think there’s room.”
“Can we save the cake for after dinner and have ice cream now?” DeeDee asked. “That way we spread dessert out.”
“Good idea, kiddo.”
They sat at the picnic table while Grandma served the ice cream. Grandpa ate his blissfully.
“It’s good to see a man enjoying his vices,” Jackson told him as they were finishing.
“Yep, I’m an ice cream lush.”
“People always said that when you were mayor, most of the town’s business got done at the Schuyler Soda Saloon.”
“Naturally. After all, how can you argue with a man when he’s eating his ice cream?”
Jackson laughed and Alex looked down at his bowl. The guy wasn’t that awful, even if he bugged Mom sometimes, like when she got mad at him for paying their bill at the store. Mom was prickly about taking care of things on her own and she didn’t like it when guys acted as if they needed to take care of her.
Even so, the camping trip had been fun so far, and it was great hanging out with Morgan. The problem with Jackson was that he sometimes tried to act like his father. Alex wished he’d stop. He remembered terrific times with his dad; then his folks had split up, and after that, Dad was kind of on and off—mostly off. Mom tried to pretend nothing had changed that much, but DeeDee and he knew better.
So Jackson couldn’t take Dad’s place. In fact, Alex wasn’t sure whether he wanted a dad at all any longer.
* * *
KAYLA HELPED GRAMS light the candles on DeeDee’s birthday cake and they sang while she blew them out.
“You get your wish,” Morgan told her.
DeeDee gulped in a breath. “Nah, they’d never let a kid go into space. Maybe I’ll be a general or something.”
After they ate cake, Elizabeth took the leftovers into the RV and carried out a stack of wrapped gifts. DeeDee’s eyes lit up and she claimed to love everything, from the Kindle her grandparents gave her to Morgan’s gift cards for music downloads. She seemed surprised at receiving a present from Jackson and smiled shyly at him.
“Thanks, Jackson!” she said, holding up the hot pink Yellowstone sweatshirt and three equally bright T-shirts.
“You’re welcome.”
Once everything was put away and the dishes washed, they walked to the group area for a campfire program about Yellowstone put on by a park ranger. Jackson tried to engage Alex in conversation, but it didn’t go well. Alex finally edged away to talk with Morgan. DeeDee was the one who started chattering to Jackson about the horse-breeding program he’d mentioned that afternoon.
“You like horses?” Jackson asked.
“They’re fantabulous. I’ve read the Black Stallion books at least ten times,” DeeDee told him.
Kayla hid a smile. She didn’t know if all girls went through a horse-crazy phase, but she’d been the same at her daughter’s age. She’d introduced both her children to the classic horse stories written by Walter Farley.
“Morgan used to read those books—that’s why she named her stallion the Black,” Jackson said. “Do you ride, DeeDee?”
“Not yet. But my friend Keri goes to a riding stable every week, and after school starts, I get to go with her.”
“I could teach you when we get back to Montana. If it’s okay with your mother,” he added hastily.
“Yes, puleeze. Can I, Mom?” DeeDee begged.
“If there’s time,” Kayla told her. She’d originally planned to return to Seattle right after the camping trip, but the kids were asking if their two best friends could come to Schuyler for a visit. The Garrisons were ecstatic at the idea; Kayla was less sure and had said she’d decide later.
Jackson turned to Alex. “What about you? I’ve got several horses that are great for new riders.”
Alex shrugged. “I’ll think about it.”
“Good...uh...just let me know.”
Kayla focused on the ground as the park docent started talking. She didn’t know how to fix the tense push-pull between father and son, and a less-than-noble part of her still didn’t want it fixed. The closer Alex got to Jackson, the more she’d have to put up with him.
As a memory, Jackson hadn’t been important to her, and she didn’t want that to change. So why should she try to help? After all, did he deserve to have an easy time of it?
Deserve?
Kayla wrinkled her nose. That sounded vindictive, but she didn’t hate Jackson. He was just one of the people who’d let her down over the years. Still, it almost seemed as if he should have to earn a place in Alex’s life, because if he wasn’t willing to work through this difficult, painful stage, he might eventually fail Alex when it mattered even more.
The internal debate raged the rest of the evening and kept her awake most of the night. As the sky began lightening, she wearily sat up. Alex and DeeDee would be asleep for another couple of hours, and even her grandparents wouldn’t emerge from the RV for a while.
She looked through the open tent flap to where Morgan lay buried in her sleeping bag. Everyone had stayed up late looking at the stars through DeeDee’s new telescope, so she’d likely want to sleep in.
Quickly Kayla got dressed. There was a rough path circling the camping area—it would serve for a mild workout and still leave her energy if Morgan wanted to go running later.
After passing quietly between other campsites, Kayla reached the path and set off, trying to be quiet since it passed close to sleeping campers. She’d circled the area twice when she came upon Jackson, looking grumpy and perturbed.
She slowed and stopped. “What are you doing out so early?”
“I was concerned,” he snarled. “No one should take off alone here, but especially not a woman. What if you’d encountered a bear? We made rules for the kids and should all follow them.”
She raised her eyebrows. “I didn’t take off, as you put it. I stuck to the campground.”
“I was afraid you’d gone on one of the other trails.”
“Hell, Jackson, you don’t even trust a woman to take care of herself.”
“It’s not that... Dammit,” he cursed. “Don’t I get credit for being worried about my son’s mother? The last thing Alex needs is to lose you.”
“That’
s why I’m careful. I have two children who need me—I don’t do reckless things. And for your information, a man isn’t any safer around a bear than a woman.”
She was still breathing quickly and temper added to the whoosh of her lungs. They glared at each other until Jackson suddenly reached out and pulled her close, his mouth landing on hers a second later.
The endorphin high from the run was nothing compared to the adrenaline zipping through her veins. His lips moved slow at first, then pressed harder. It was much better than she remembered it from high school, but after a couple of minutes she gathered her senses and resolutely pulled away.
“Thanks, but no thanks,” she said. “I’m not interested in wandering down memory lane.”
“You responded.”
She surveyed the way his loose sweatpants were tented around his arousal. “So did you, but I’m the one who ended it. Now excuse me, I want to finish my run.”
Kayla took off, aware that he was watching her. She didn’t have to question what it meant—he was frustrated at an elemental, masculine level. But Jackson had nothing to do with what she wanted. She needed to concentrate on today, and on the future.
So would that future contain sex?
Kayla almost stumbled, annoyed that her thoughts had circled back to Jackson McGregor. But it was mostly what he represented. The brief kiss had left her shaking with need, reminding her of how long it had been since she’d shared that sort of intimacy.
She didn’t intend to live as a reclusive divorcée, so it had seemed reasonable to accept a few dates when friends began pushing her. The rational half of her brain said that falling in love was a good thing. The scared half told her, Don’t risk it, don’t take a chance. It wasn’t just what had happened with Curtis—her mother had never recovered when she’d lost the love of her life.
After another two laps around the campground, Kayla slowly walked back toward their campsite. Only a few people were stirring, but one grizzled fellow nodded at her. “Hello, there.”
“Hi.”
His eyes were content and pleased with life. A golden retriever puppy dashed over, gamboling at her feet. Kayla leaned over to rub its neck. The pup quivered with pure pleasure.